First off, I swear this isn't a prank, I just really wanted to get this out while I still had the juices flowing.
Second:
Oh my gosh, your reviews are the best! Not to jinx myself or anything, but I haven't gotten a single flame! You've all been so nice and constructive and I can't even express how happy I am! I have the best reviewers in the world! I don't even know what to do with you all! *cries*
Chapter 6: Do You Believe in Magic?l
11 years old
"Mister Stark you appear to have a visitor," J.A.R.V.I.S. said, bringing Tony's attention away from his project for the first time in hours.
Tony glanced up at the security monitor that showed the entrance camera, but saw no one.
"Eh, J.A.R.V.I.S., there's no one there. Should I recalibrate your-"
"Sir, they're right behind you,"
The A.I. deadpanned.
Tony spun around so fast he nearly tripped, and very nearly landed on his ass when he found out that the people who'd apparently teleported into his him weren't even the usual people who teleported into his home.
"Uhm. Who are you?"
There were three; a tall, willowy man with blood red hair and enough makeup to turn off Ru Paul, a short, stumpy woman who clearly belonged in a house made of gingerbread, and a tall, matronly woman who looked like one of the awful nuns in some old musical he didn't remember the name of. Oh, and all of them were wearing black dresses and witches hats.
Clearly, whatever was going on had something to do with Minnie. As usual.
"Please sir, don't be alarmed, we are representatives from various schools of magic. We've come to enquire about your daughter possibly attending one of our institutions in the fall."
Tony snorted. Wanda had warned him about this.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., will you tell Minnie to come down here?" He asked, closing his eyes in a quick prayer to whoever would preserve his sanity.
"As for you, are Magical people too good for knocking or something? You're lucky I didn't flip out and accidentally blow us all sky high! Jesus!"
TSE
The Fashion Disaster was named Achille Dupont from the Baton Rouge Academy of Magical Affinities, a so called "Free- Learning School", which encouraged "self-exploration" and focused on "ancient, rare, and obscure" arts, which sounded like "Voodoo" as far as Tony was concerned. And as open minded as he could be about whatever Minnie wanted to learn, that was a bit outside his comfort zone.
The Sugar Plum Fairy was named Patricia Pepperpott from the Salem Institute for the Magical Arts, an all girls school that emphasized balancing magical and non-magical lifestyles, so that students could excel anywhere. The woman herself was so cheerful that Hermione couldn't help but assume that this school's brand of magic was powered by the laughter of children and specialized in rainbows, instead of error-proof accounting, like the brochure said.
Sister Superior was named Minerva McGonagall, and she was from a school in Scotland called Hogwarts.
That's all she managed to tell him before both father and daughter burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Please, please tell me you have a sister school named Pigboils," Minnie giggled.
The woman looked quite put out, like she had never received such a reaction before, and put her hands on her hips in a way that gave them the distinct notion that this was a woman who tolerated no nonsense.
That didn't stop it from being hilarious though.
TSE
"Why should I pick you over any of the other schools?" She asked.
They'd clearly been waiting for this very question, because they each straightened up in their chairs and cleared their throats.
Mistress Pepperpott answered first, describing her "very prestigious ", and it's curriculum. Most of it consisted of adding "with magical connections" to a skill she already knew, like "Advanced Calculus with magical connections", which she could do perfectly fine without magic, which made the whole thing seem pointless. And boring.
Still, her enthusiasm was infectious.
DuPont described a school that sounded way too much like old fashioned Finishing for her tastes, and even though her Dad's first impression had her wary, she hadn't really believed it until she learned that the classes were called "Arcane History" and "Summoning for Beginners."
Which left Mrs. Pigwarts.
"Mrs. McGonagall, what do you teach at your school?" She asked, pronouncing "McGonagall" carefully, to avoid forgetting a 'G'.
The woman smiled sort of warmly at her.
"I teach Transfiguration. It is the art of changing objects or even people, to your will," she said, clearly reciting something she said often.
"Can you transfigure something for me now?"
Imagine their surprise when the older woman suddenly turned into a cat, walked in a small circle for a few moments for demonstration's sake, and returned to normal.
Hogwarts it is.
TSE
"I think I'm going to cry," Tony Stark said, his voice holding a reverence that made his daughter smirk.
All around them, the people they walked past were going about their day as usual, which in this case apparently meant bewitching shopping bags to carry themselves; riding down streets on motorcycles that didn't even touch the ground, and apparently didn't require gasoline either, if the lack of exhaust was any indication; and taking their weird pointy sticks and zapping various unassuming objects until they became entirely different unassuming objects.
He'd seen at least three people pop out of existence entirely, only to appear down the road at the shop they planned to visit, and it was damn exciting, if only because nobody seemed to be bothered by it.
"The magical world is a beautiful place," he cried over-dramatically.
Minnie sighed, amused.
"Dad, do you want to come with me this fall? Looks like you're more excited about this than I am," she teased.
"Why aren't you excited, Brat? This is the freaking coolest thing I've ever seen!"
She rolled her eyes.
"Honestly, Wanda's been telling me about Wizard Boston for years now. I'm kind of underwhelmed, since I was expecting a city, not an alley," she told him, which caused the grown man to pout just a little.
Hermione noticed a large store in front of them, several stories tall and decidedly lopsided. Apparently when you had magic for construction there was no need for building codes.
"Hey, that's the place," she said, pointing to the sign that said "Harvelle's Hardcovers" that was floating in the general vicinity of the shop.
She pulled out her supply list.
The list was long, and the titles of her textbooks sounded utterly insane. She grinned.
This was the fun part.
TSE
The last thing Hermione expected to find in Wizarding Boston was her arch-nemesis. But while she'd been enjoying herself in Harvelle's, waist-deep in books about Potions and something called Defense Against the Dark Arts (which sounded utterly badass by the way), she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and she slowly raised her head to lock eyes with the stupid bleached face of the bane of her existence.
He was gaping at her, clearly just as shocked to see her as she was, but only a moment later they'd returned to their familiar glaring match.
"Hermione," he sneered, his snooty little nose already turned up at her.
"Draco," she growled back.
"So you're a mudblood then? And here I thought you were just an annoying muggle."
She wasn't quite sure what a mudblood was, but she knew a muggle was a non magical person.
"Hmmph. Well this muggle is still worth more money than you'll ever be, Blondie, name calling won't change that. I will say I'm surprised. I'd never trust you to be able to point a wand in the right direction, but I guess that's why I'm not in charge of the selection process."
Draco glanced to his left out of the corner of his eye, and suddenly sighed relief.
"Alright, alright, he's gone," he told her.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I can't believe you have magic," they said at the same time, laughing quietly at themselves.
After a long moment, silence fell over the both of them.
She frowned to herself.
"That thing about us being from different worlds- this is what you meant, isn't it? Your parents hate me and Dad because he's not magic?"
Draco nodded.
"But now you know I'm a witch. It still doesn't matter?"
The blonde shrugged.
"Your parents are still muggles." He said, by way of explanation.
She snorted.
"Here I thought we couldn't be friends because despite our parents being business partners, your folks are elitist bastards who probably do illegal things on the side. But the truth is they're classist, elitist bastards who probably do illegal things on the side?"
"Hey," he said, voice strained.
"They're still my parents," he defended.
She shook her head.
"They're still crazy," she said, gathering her books.
TSE
"Are you sure kid? We all know how well you do in "structured learning environments," Johnny said ruffling her hair and laughing.
"Johnny! This isn't funny!" She pouted.
"I have to further my education if I'm ever going to be a truly competent user of magic," she lectured.
"Do you know that I can't do any spells? I just let go of my control and let whatever will happen happen! It could be chainsaws falling from the sky! Or appliances coming to life!"
"Or spontaneous snowstorms in the summer!"
"Yes! And god, will you let that go? It was a desperate situation."
"I'll say," Peter interjected, plopping onto the couch across from them.
" Although I could've done without the frostbite," he grinned.
He'd taken to spending his afternoons here at Baxter building, where he could get his hands on Uncle Reed's research, although that was just as much his idea as her own Dad's insistence. In the years they'd known each other, her Dad had claimed Peter "the second most talented brat he knew"
Minnie buried her face in the couch.
"I hate you all," she muttered.
Like a gunshot, the glass windows in the tower all shattered at once.
"Minnie! Peter! Get downstairs!" Johnny shouted, his body igniting with a command and a rush of heat as he rushed out the newly open window.
The kids rushed to the staircase and sprinted to the floor below, where Ben, and Susan were rushing in.
"What's going on?"
"What happened?
"I don't know, everything just exploded!
She cried, eyes frantic.
"Woah woah, calm down everybody, false alarm!" Reed called when he stretched into the room, his hands up in the universal " I come in peace" sign.
The group sighed with the relief.
"I swear, this happens every time you visit," Peter whined.
She summoned a book that had fallen from the shelf and dropped it on his head.
"Moron! I'm not the one who nearly blew us all up!" She laughed, harder when Peter stuck out his tongue at her.
TSE
"Got your cellphone?"
The train was preparing to leave, and the young brunette girl was growing impatient.
She put a hand on her hip.
"Yes, Daddy," she answered, in what was clearly an American accent.
"Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me!" Her father chastised, only half serious.
"Al-right Dad, can I get on the train now?"
"Alright,alright. Are you sure you have everything?"
"Dad!"
He chuckled, ruffling her hair in that annoying way of his.
"Fine, get on out of here," he conceded.
She scrambled towards the train, heavy bags in tow.
"Wait!"
She stopped immediately, almost toppling over with the sudden loss of momentum.
She turned to find her crazy father jogging towards her.
The silly man picked up his daughter with ease, spinning her around and kissing her forehead.
"I love you, Brat."
She giggled.
"I love you too, Daddy."
And with that, the little bushy-haired girl picked up her things and boarded the train, disappearing from her father's sight.
Tony sighed, smiling to himself.
They grow up too fast.
TSE
Harry Potter remembered thinking she was very short, and very cheerful, and very pretty. And chatty. When the little girl called Hermione first opened her mouth he already knew she wouldn't be very inclined to stop, but he didn't mind. She spoke about things he didn't quite understand, but her accent was interesting.
"Come on, we'll sit together," Ron said, just as the apartment door was pushed roughly open, the newcomers wrongly assuming it was empty.
By the time eleven year old Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley noticed the young girl tucked into a corner, incredibly curly hair obscuring her face, they'd already gotten comfortable in their seats.
Harry jumped up on reflex, apologizing profusely; but the girl didn't respond..;
"Oi! Who do you think you are, ignoring 'im? 'E said 'e's sorry for bargin' in on ya!" Ron chastised, still to no reply.
Ron turned as red as his hair, and might've yelled at the girl further had she not suddenly stirred, pulling her hair out of her face and looking at them as if she'd just suddenly realized they were there.
She pulled a pair of headphones off her ears and hung them around her neck.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asked, in what appeared to be an American accent.
Ron opened his mouth to holler at her, but Harry cut him off.
"Sorry. We didn't realize you were here when we came in. Do you mind if we stay?"
She nodded briefly.
"Sure. Don't mind me," she said, almost putting the headphones back on before she seemed to think better of it, and held out her hand to shake.
"I'm Minnie," she offered.
"Harry. And that's Ron," Harry greeted.
"You're a muggleborn, right?" The redhead cut in.
She looked confused, looking to Harry for clarification.
He shrugged, unsure as she was.
"What's a muggleborn?"
Ron rolled his eyes.
"It means your parents haven't got any magic," he said, as if it were obvious.
"Oh, is it like Mudblood then?"
Ron sputtered in surprise, but she continued as if he hadn't reacted.
" Well, I guess so. Do your parents have magic?"
"Of course!"
She shrugged.
"What about you?"
She said, turning her gaze on the green-eyed boy.
"I- uh, don't know. My parents died when I was a baby."
She shrugged, not quite apathetic, and nodded.
"Well my dad didn't know too much about magic either. I've had a tutor since I was five, but she deals with Chaos Magic, which I suppose is a different sort of thing," she rambled, her expression considering.
"But then this professor came to our home and turned into a cat. It's called Transfiguration, she said. And now I'm here," she said excitably.
Harry smiled softly at her enthusiasm.
Ron only seemed more flabbergasted.
Were all girls this weird? He wondered.
"So you're from America?" Ron asked.
She snorted.
"Obviously. My Dad and I live in Malibu. He'll be so excited to find out my Stark Phone doesn't work against magical interference," she said, fiddling with must have been the aforementioned phone with a look like what one might give a killed pet.
"...I'm not the only one who doesn't know what a phone is...right?"
Hermione gaped at the red-headed boy.
"Harry, exactly how far behind is wizarding culture?" She asked, although she was quite terrified of the answer.
"Behind? That's rubbish!" Carrot Top interrupted.
"At least the Wizarding World isn't still running around having bloody World Wars and mistreating colored people!"
Hermione looked as if she might faint.
"Ronald, World War 2 ended in the forties! And if you called anyone a colored person you could potentially be beaten into a bloody mess!" She corrected, looking like she might be in the middle of a heart attack.
Harry looked at her with concern.
"Just, tell me, do you have television?"
He stared blankly.
"Radio?"
Again, silence.
"Electricity?!"
"Oh psh, I'm not bloody stupid! I can tell you're just making up words now!"
Hermione gave Harry a horrified look, while Ron continued, looking offended.
"Eleck-trickery! Rubbish! Maybe things are different in the States but on this side of the pond it's not nice to lie to people. I don't see how you plan to make any friends that way," he chastised.
Hermione glared, upset, even as Harry laughed.
"Ron, she's not lying. Electricity and television and radio are all things in the non-magical world," he explained.
"And as soon as I get reception I'm going back to it. I can't be out here, in the middle of some Plague-ridden forest in a magic school with no electricity!
Do you even have running water?!"
She ranted, appalled.
Ronald looked downright offended.
"Of course we do! What do you think this is, the Dark Ages?"
"I couldn't have said it better myself!" She said, crossing her arms petulantly, sinking back into her seat with a huff.
'Ohh, when Daddy hears about this, he will not be happy,' she thought, feeling sour. And here she thought this might be fun.
TSE
"Firs' years! Firs' years come wit' me!"
Hermione gaped up at the big man who was beckoning them closer, helpless but to stare at his easily eight foot stature and the veritable jungle that was his hair.
"'Arry! How are ya lad? Who're your friends?"
Hermione couldn't help but shake her new friend's arm with excitement.
"Harry!? You know a giant?" She squealed.
The Boy Who Lived made a very confused sound in the back of his throat, but Minnie didn't notice.
"Eh, heh, I'm just half," the big man said, somewhat reluctantly, as if it wasn't absolutely bloody cool.
"That is so awesome! Hi I'm Minnie!" She said, holding out her hand to shake.
With a slightly uneasy smile, he took her very small hand in his, and shook.
"'Ello there Minnie, I'm Hagrid. Welcome to Hogwarts."
So that's that! I bet you didn't believe I'd updated so soon did you? Haha Well I'll admit, I did rush a bit- I figured since it's April Fool's I'd give you guys a treat instead of a trick. Sorry if it's noticeable, XD
Anyways, next chapter officially starts Hermione's year at Hogwarts, with some questions for you guys- a poll really.
As for Minnie's house. Idfk. I'm leaning towards Gryffindor cause it'd be easiest, but Ravenclaw would obviously fit, not to mention Slytherin would be crazy and hilarious because she'd definitely whip those little racist bastards into shape. She has more than enough loyalty for Hufflepuff too, but she'd probably drive poor Prof. Sprout insane! So… Suggestions?
Also, I've been getting some very interesting suggestions for Hermione's potential future boyfriends, and all I gotta say is LOLOLOL. Calm down guys, we've got like four years before that happens, cool your jets! I'll probably let you vote on it when we get ther
And for the record- No, Uncle Bruce is not Batman. As much as I'd love to add DC to the mix the headache that would inevitably cause is not worth it. XD I was talking about Bruce Banner, aka the Incredible Hulk.
Also, jeez, I didn't realize everybody knew that Storm's real name was Ororo Monroe! Haha, yeah, she's Aunty Roro.
I'm don't think I made any special references this chapter! OMG. Oh well, next time!
Ciao!