The smell of bacon wafting through Kylo's bedroom woke Rey up slowly. For a second, she forgot why she was here before the night came rushing back to her. She was alone in bed but she could hear Kylo moving around in the kitchen, making breakfast if she had to guess based on the delicious smells.
She sat up slightly, yawning, and saw that it was still fairly early. That was good though, assuming that Kylo decided to go with her today, they'd have a bit of a drive.
Speaking of Kylo, he poked his head into the room a few seconds later, obviously trying to be quiet in case she was still asleep.
"Good morning," he said quietly, brown eyes soft as he gazed at her.
"Hi," Rey responded awkwardly, thrown by the look he was giving her.
He glanced over his shoulder at something then disappeared for a minute, sounds floating from the kitchen. When he reappeared, he was holding a tray in his hands, loaded with plates of food.
"What's all this?" she asked, struggling to sit up a little better as he set the tray on her lap.
Kylo shrugged. "I wanted to make you breakfast in bed."
There was a huge plate of eggs and bacon and toast, with a smaller bowl of fruit on the side. A glass of orange juice was perched on the edge and at the top right corner, a small glass with a daisy in it.
Rey stared down at the tray, seeing it for what it was. A thank you from a man who wasn't comfortable with words.
"This wasn't necessary," she muttered, feeling her cheeks get warm.
Kylo took her hand, staring down at their intertwined fingers. "Last night... coming here for me... I-" He struggled to find the words. "No one has ever done that for me. With the nightmares, the memories, I'm always alone."
"You're not alone," she told him fiercely, squeezing his hand.
He didn't say anything, just stroked her knuckles with his thumb as she picked up the fork with her free hand and started eating.
After a few bites, she cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you'd like to do something with me today?"
"Anything," he replied immediately, without hesitation.
"It's a long drive," she warned him. "I need to go visit someone but he lives across the state. I'm not going to tell you where we're going until we get there but I would really like it if you'd come and do this with me."
Kylo listened, brow furrowed. He was confused obviously, but if she told him where they were going now, there was a good chance he would say no. And possibly lock her up so she couldn't go either.
"Is it something dangerous?" he finally asked.
"I don't think so," she answered honestly. "I'm still nervous and would like your support. But you don't have to come, I was initially planning on going alone, I just-"
He shook his head, cutting her off. "Of course I'll come."
She hadn't realized how badly she wanted him to say yes until relief washed over her in a wave.
After breakfast, she went back to her apartment to feed BB and change quickly. She dressed nicely, dark jeans, a purple top, and a light jacket. In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and did her hair, pinning back one side and tucking the daisy from her tray into the pin.
In her room, she couched down in front of her open closet, tugging a shoebox out from under a shelf. Inside, a bag of money stared up at her. Just over three thousand dollars. Not a lot, but it had taken her a while to save. Staring at it now and thinking it wasn't much was such a contrast to years ago, holding that much in her hands and feeling free. Knowing she could run and escape and survive.
She shoved the money in her purse, zipping it closed firmly.
Kylo waited for her in the downstairs landing, dressed in his usual dark clothing. He gave her a shy smile when he saw that she'd pinned the daisy from him in her hair.
When she'd been planning on going alone, she had to look up bus routes to figure out which would take her across the state. She'd been dreading the long trip. But now, a long car ride with Kylo didn't seem too bad. Even if she was nervous as hell.
In the car, she punched the address into the GPS on her phone, turning it off until they needed it. Kylo eyed it over her shoulder, obviously curious as to where they were going.
"Jakku?" he asked. "Never heard of it."
Rey smiled tightly. "I'm not surprised. It's a small town near the state line. Not much to see." She debated for a second, wondering how much Kylo would figure out. "It's also one of the places I grew up in."
Surprise flared in his eyes, settling into a thoughtful look. After a long second, he didn't say anything, just put the car in drive and they rolled out onto the street.
The drive there was surprisingly beautiful. Rey hadn't been out this way since the night she left, a night that was just a blur of fear, anxiety, people's faces on a dark bus. But now, she gazed out the window in awe. It had been so long since she'd left the city, she'd forgotten how lovely the area was.
"Do you want to listen to anything?" Kylo eventually asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
Rey started to shake her head then remembered. "Oh! Mind if I pull something up on my phone?"
He gave her a sideways look, obviously finding her silly for even asking. She stuck out her tongue, digging her phone out of her pocket. She connecting it to his car stereo with bluetooth and found the playlist she was looking for.
As the chords of a familiar song floated through the car, Kylo gave her an incredulous look, obviously wondering if it was a coincidence.
"What?" she smirked. "I pay attention."
Over the last few weeks, she'd been putting together a playlist for them. It seemed silly but every time he mentioned a song or band that he liked or showed interest in one she talked about, she would put in on here. She'd just wanted something special, something that was uniquely theirs.
Kylo reached over and took her hand in his, resting them on his knee. As her anxiety grew with each mile that passed, she leaned on his quiet strength and support that radiated from him.
It took them several hours to get there. Jakku was a dusty little town, one of those ones where everything looked yellow and faded. As they drove through, all of the memories started flooding back to Rey and she had to focus on breathing deep. When she'd left, she'd promised herself she'd never come back.
She glanced over at Kylo, immensely grateful that he was here with her.
"Turn down this street," she told him, heart starting to pound.
He did as she told, getting on a street that looked like all the others. Rey could see her old home at the end. Though she had never actually called it home.
"Could you pull over here please?" she asked, gesturing to the side of the street.
He did, putting the car in park and giving her a concerned look. They were only a few blocks away and she wanted to explain to Kylo what was going on.
"Why are we here?" he asked softly, scanning the houses like they would give him a clue. Kylo was smart, she wouldn't be surprised if he'd already figured it out.
"We're here to see Unkar Plutt."
His mouth tightening into a flat line. "You mean the man who treated you like a slave and starved and abused you?"
"Yep." Rey's mouth was dry.
She could tell that Kylo was struggling. "Why? Why would you come back here?"
Letting out a sigh, she opened her purse and took out the baggie of money. He looked confused, glancing between it and her face.
"I haven't told you about when I left here," she started, staring down at the cash. "I told you it took me months to leave. But when I finally decided to go, I knew I needed money for bus tickets and to survive at first. So I broke into Plutt's office and stole all the money he had in the house."
She swallowed heavily, avoiding Kylo's gaze.
"Most of it was my money anyway, from all the things he made me steal. I was so angry, I didn't feel like I was going anything wrong. But once I escaped and found Finn, got my own place and a job, it bothered me. So I started saving."
"Rey," Kylo said gently. "You realize you don't owe this man anything, right? I don't understand why you'd even-"
She shook her head. "It's not about him, it's about me. I need to know that I didn't make it because of his money, that in the end, he didn't give me anything. I need the weight of it to be gone. I don't want anything of his."
Glancing over at the house at the end of the street, she continued. "And, I need to see him again. Do you understand? I need him to see that I made it, that I'm happy. And I need to see that he's still miserable and sad, living out here with the all the junk. I just- I need that peace, that resolution. I don't want to have to think about him anymore."
Rey finally looked at Kylo and found understanding and acceptance in his eyes.
"I understand," he told her.
They got out of the car and walked down the street together. Plutt's house was just how she remembered. Faded yellow chipping paint, porch stairs sagging a bit, weeds growing around the walkway. The driveway and yard were filled with cars, in various states of disarray, scraps of metal scattered about.
On the porch, Rey took a deep breath, feeling Kylo's comforting presence behind her, and knocked. She was ready to be done with this.
After a tense minute, the door opened, revealing a young man.
"Uh, hello," Rey said with forced cheerfulness. "We're looking for Unkar Plutt."
"He's out back." The boy eyed her curiously. "I can go get him for you if you'd like. Who should I say is asking?"
She hesitated for a second then figured it was too late for that. "Rey. He'll know who I am."
He nodded, holding the door open wide. "You can wait inside."
"Thanks," Rey muttered but the boy was already hurrying away.
She took a few tentative steps into her old home, somehow surprised and unsurprised that everything looked the same. Dirty boots by the door, faded rug going up the stairs, no art or photographs on the walls. It even smelled the same, like dust and old things.
"You okay?" Kylo asked quietly, following her into the house.
She didn't respond, her eyes snagging on a little door tucked in the corner under the stairs. Walking towards it as if in a trace, she crouched down and opened it with a creak. Shoes and jackets stared out at her.
Kylo joined her, looking inside the dimly lit closet curiously.
"This was where I used to sleep," she whispered, feeling those nights of terror and claustrophobia pushing down on her. She'd had a little pile of blankets, no pillow, and would curl up like in a nest, trying to get comfortable on the hard floor.
He reached out, tracing tally marks she'd scratched into the wall. One for every night spent in that wretched closet, the whole walked covered in a blanket of marks. His hand clenched into a tight fist.
"Don't think you'd fit anymore," a growling voice said from behind them.
Rey jumped to her feet, whirling around as Kylo did the same, half stepping in front of her protectively.
Plutt barely spared him a glance, eyes locked on Rey.
Just like the house, he had hardly changed. Dirty, oil-streaked shirt stretched around a big stomach, flat nose under black, shark looking eyes. His hair was balding, the wrinkles around his eyes more pronounced than the last time she'd seen him. Her breath caught in her chest at the sight of him.
"I didn't believe the boy but here you are," he mocked. "Little Rey, finally come home."
"This was never my home," Rey responded firmly, finally finding her voice.
Plutt snorted loudly. "This was your home because no one else wanted you. You seem to forget that."
Kylo tensed but Rey ignored them both, reaching into her purse.
"I only came back to give you this," she said, pulling out the bag of cash and tossing it to him. He caught it, gave it a look, then with a laugh, threw it over his shoulder onto the floor.
"Oh yes, the money you stole. I'd forgotten about that." He let out another laugh. "Was that your plan then? Show up here and return my money so you don't have that on your conscience? Trying to show off your nice clothes and your new boyfriend? You can try to show me that you've moved on as much as you want but I still know what you are... worthless trash that no one wanted."
Kylo let out a noise but Rey put a hand on his arm.
Being here and seeing Plutt, hearing him say those words... It meant absolutely nothing. Seeing him now just made her realize how much she didn't care about him or his opinion. She'd done what she needed to do and how she was free of him. She had been for a long time, she just hadn't realized it.
He mistook her silence and grinned viciously.
"High and mighty Rey, thinking she's better than everyone else." He turned to Kylo. "Did she tell you about the night she left? How she almost killed me? She should be in prison right now. You're so lucky I never called the cops."
She refused to flinch, though his words sucked the air from her lungs. That and the questioning look that Kylo gave her.
"You didn't call the cops out of a sense of self-preservation," she retorted, keeping her voice even. "You have so much illegal shit going on here, so many things I would have happily told them."
Plutt's face turned a splotchy purple and he took a step towards them.
"You were always an ungrateful bitch. Turning your nose up at everything I gave you. You're lucky that I kept you around, that I didn't dump you on the street where you belong."
Rey let out a cold laugh. "Lucky? Being starved was lucky? Being forced to steal from people and fight for my meals was lucky? Almost getting sold off to one of your disgusting friends, that's lucky?"
Understanding lit up in Plutt's squinty eyes. "Is that why you left? That was just talk, nothing had been decided-"
"You were going to let him prostitute me out!"
The events of that night came back to her in a rush. Crouching on the stairs, listening to Plutt and his friend talking in the kitchen. He mentioned Rey was growing up, starting to fill out in all the right places, which Plutt had laughed at and said no one in their right mind would find her attractive. His friend said that some of "his girls" made good money, if the right person was paying. Plutt had asked what kind of money they were talking about. They started discussing numbers when Rey ran back upstairs and packed up the few belonging she had.
Plutt rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic. He was offering to give you a good job, a way for you to make me some money. You could've started paying me back for everything I wasted on you."
"I was sixteen," she hissed. "And you were going to give me to your pimp friend and let him sell me off to the highest bidder."
Kylo's face was stricken, bone pale as he listened. Rey hadn't told anyone, not even Finn, about this but there was no taking it back now.
Plutt opened his mouth but she cut him off with a vicious swipe of her hand. "I don't want to hear any more. Your words mean nothing to me. We're leaving. Enjoy your money and what's left of your life."
She turned to head towards the door, Kylo a step ahead of her.
"You're nothing but trash, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise," Plutt said to her back. "Dirty, whoring trash. You would have been lucky if anyone paid for a piece of you. God know's that's the best you'll ever get, the best you deserve."
Kylo halted, shoulders tense. Rey grabbed his arm, ready to tug him out of the house when Plutt made a noise behind her and something wet hit the back of her head.
It took her a second to realize that he had spit on her and by then, Kylo had already spun around, murder on his face.
He started towards Plutt who had enough good sense to back away frantically, realizing he had just messed up big time. Rey dove between them, firmly planting both of her hands on Kylo's chest.
"Kylo, stop." She told him, knowing he could knock her aside with half a thought. But he paused, chest heaving in barely restrained anger.
"He's not worth it," she told him softly, trying to catch his gaze which was firmly fixed on the man behind her.
She could see the muscle twitching in his jaw. "But he- he said-"
"I know," she said calmly. "Kylo."
He finally looked at her, brown eyes furious. She kept her gaze on him, letting him see how unaffected she was by Plutt's words.
"He's not worth it," she said slowly, so he could see that she meant it. Her hand slipped down to take his. "Come on, let's get out of here."
She didn't spare Plutt another glance as she led Kylo to the front door. He didn't resist but she could feel the tension in his body, that it was taking everything in him to not rush back and punch her old guardian across the face. Finn would have already.
He hesitated at the door though, pivoting back around. Rey tensed, worried she wouldn't be able to stop him a second time if he rushed him.
But Kylo just stood there for a second.
"You have no idea what you lost the day you decided she wasn't worth your love," he said quietly, almost sympathetically. "You were never worthy of her but she would have given you a chance and you gave that up. I hope you regret that until the day you die, alone and unhappy."
Plutt just glared at them and said nothing.
Rey felt something hot in her chest as they turned around and left for good. Kylo's words would mean absolutely nothing to Plutt, wouldn't cause a second of thought or regret, but still, that he said them...
Once in the car, Kylo made no movement to start it. He had both hands firmly around the wheel, flexing and unflexing, jaw tightly clenched. Rey just sat in the passenger seat, letting him calm down and feeling strangely unaffected by the whole thing. She was focusing more on what he had said than her encounter with Plutt. In a way, it had gone exactly as she'd expected.
"That man was..." he trailed off, looking for the word.
"Repulsive?" Rey offered helpfully. "Vile? Disgusting? Wretched?" She laughed quietly.
Kylo looked appalled. "This isn't funny. Why are you laughing?"
She shrugged, trying to explain. "It's not funny, it's just... he was trying so hard to upset me. And in doing so, he just made me realize how much he couldn't do that anymore. I never cared about his opinion and he has no control over me."
She leaned back and let out a deep, cleansing breath, feeling a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.
This feeling... this was what she had been searching for. Freedom from her past. The knowledge that she'd done the right thing and come out on top. Plutt was just as sad of a man as she'd thought when she was younger and she knew that inside, he was miserable and alone. That was enough for her.
"I'm free from him," she said, feeling tears prick at her eyes as the truth of it settled in her heart. She didn't have room in her life for thoughts of him anymore. It was time to let this part of her past die.
Kylo was quiet for a second, just watching her with a peculiar expression on his face.
"You never told me that he planned to-"
"Prostitute me out at sixteen?" Rey said, finishing his question. She shook her head. "I don't know if it would have happened. But that night, I knew that if it did, I'd lose a part of myself I couldn't get back. If I didn't run and let myself be led into that situation knowingly, I'd never find a way to leave. It made me realize that I did still believe that I was worth something and deserved a life better than the one I had."
She chuckled softly without any real humor. "I guess I was lucky in that way. Plutt kind of helped me out in the end, giving me the push I needed."
Kylo looked away and Rey bit her lip, realizing what she said applied to him in a way. Except he hadn't thought he was worth saving, he'd ran to hurt Snoke. He had already lost hope for himself when she had found it.
Silence stretched on for a few seconds until he lifted his head, obviously wanting to ask something. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, uncertain.
"What did he mean that you almost killed him?" he finally asked her quietly.
Her neck prickled with a phantom chill. She didn't like thinking about that night, about the dark part of herself that it revealed. But she knew that if anyone would understand, it would be him.
"When I decided to leave after hearing the plans he was making... I needed him out of the picture for a while so I could steal the money and get away. He- he had some sleeping pills in the bathroom from when he had surgery on his knee. I spiked his drink that night and knocked him out. I knew how much to give him, he was being dramatic by saying that I almost killed him." She paused for a second. "But there was a moment, just a split second when I considered... I thought about everything he had done and planned to do and I wanted to- I thought about-"
The memory flashed through her mind, of her small pale hand hovering over his glass, clutching several pills in her palm. Trying to work up the courage to drop them in, to be free of her abuser forever. All it would take was for her to open her hand-
She cut off with a shudder. As she'd thought before, people who were adamant that violence wasn't the answer were lucky enough to never be put in a position where they'd had to question that. She hadn't been lucky.
But, she reminded herself firmly, she hadn't done it. That was all she needed to know, that in the end, she hadn't done it.
Kylo leaned across the middle console of the car and pulled her to him, just holding her, giving her his understanding and acceptance. He knew what it was like to live with this, the conflict in her soul.
After a minute, she pulled away, kissing his cheek with a small smile. Though the memories were hard, today had been a victory and she'd won with Kylo at her side.
"Let's get the fuck out of here."
I'm so excited that I managed to bust this out in a few days rather than a week. This scene was just something I'd had in my head from the beginning and it was always such an important thing for Rey's character and growth. I hope you guys enjoyed!