The next morning, Rey sat at Kylo's counter, watching him flip pancakes like it was the easiest thing in the world. She'd stayed over all night, knowing that neither of them wanted to be alone.
BB had been alone in her apartment a lot lately so Rey went and brought him over this morning, letting him sniff around Kylo's place. He'd nearly tripped Kylo twice, curling around his ankles as he cooked, before finally settling down on the couch.
Last night at Finn's place had actually gone surprisingly well. Poe picked up Chinese on the way and they sat around, chatting and watching some cheesy horror movie one of them had chosen.
Kylo had been obviously uncomfortable at first, quiet and nervous. It had taken him a minute to get out of the car, taking deep breaths and drumming his fingers against the steering wheel to realease some of the anxious energy. But as the night went on, Poe and Finn wore him down. It was impossible to not laugh at Poe's suggestive comments and to not feel at ease with Finn's steady calmness. Together, they managed to actually make Kylo smile and open up.
Occasionally, he would glance at Rey and she'd see it in his eyes, a childlike wonder and surprise that he was having a good time and enjoying himself.
When it was time to leave, Rey pulled Finn into a hug, gripping him tightly.
"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, feeling years of love for her friend wrapping around them at this moment.
He glanced over to where Kylo was helping Poe tidy up, face flushed red from something he'd said.
"He's a nice guy," he said honestly. "You let me know if you guys need help with anything. Anything," he repeated meaningfully.
Always perceptive Finn knew her too well.
"Thanks." She gave him a soft smile, then went to rescue Kylo and give Poe a hug goodbye.
Rey could tell that Kylo was feeling a little better this morning. The tension was still there but it felt a bit muted, like he had better control. Getting out last night had been good for him, even if it had been out of his comfort zone.
She glanced at the clock, not wanting to get around and go to work today. Kylo was going to try calling his mother and see if she'd meet with him. Though she knew that their meeting would be private, she still wanted to be here and available for him if he needed her.
Her phone buzzed on the counter. She scanned the message quickly, tapping out a quick reply.
"Finn said you left your jacket there last night. He's gonna swing by and drop it off."
Kylo frowned, brow furrowed. "I knew I was forgetting something but Poe kept distracting me, asking some very personal questions."
Rey snorted into her hand. She could only imagine.
"I would just like to point out, I take no responsibility for that man. His filters are permanently broken, if they were ever there in the first place."
Kylo shook his head, looking amused as he set a stack of golden brown pancakes in front of her. Rey's mouth watered and she doused them in syrup, taking a huge bite.
"Come here," she told Kylo, snagging him the second he came around the counter and pulling him down for a sticky sweet kiss.
"I think you got more syrup on your face than in your mouth," he teased, and she could feel his lips smiling against hers.
She didn't have a comeback, since he was probably right, so she just kissed him again. There was something so right about this, softly kissing Kylo in the kitchen, pancakes in front of her, warm morning light streaming through the windows. It felt cozy and domestic, and she wanted to stay here forever.
"Thank you," she whispered, pulling away.
He gave her a strange look, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "For what?"
Shrugging, she suddenly felt a little self-conscious. How could she put into words the feeling that he gave her, the sense that everything would be okay if they were together?
"Just... for being with me," she said lamely.
But he smiled and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. Kylo always seemed to know what she meant, even if she didn't.
He went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of orange juice and pouring himself a glass.
"You don't have to-" he started, a knock on his door cutting him off.
"Jeesh, that was quick." Rey started to get out of her chair but Kylo gestured for her to keep sitting.
"I'll let him in. Eat before your pancakes get cold." He strode over the to door, sipping his orange juice.
"Yes, dad," she muttered loud enough for him to hear.
He was laughing as he unlocked the door and swung it open.
Time seemed to slow down. Rey watched the glass slip from Kylo's fingers in slow motion, juice splashing across the floor as the glass shattered against the tile. He stood there, unmoving in the doorway, the grin still frozen on his face.
In front of him stood Governor Snoke.
With a rush, time seemed to catch up. Kylo stumbled backward, almost falling, the door swinging wide in his haste to back up. Rey's breath caught painfully in her chest and she scrambled out of her seat and to her feet, heart thumping in her ears.
He was dressed like the last time she saw him, a dark wool jacket with a high collar. His face was even more horrible up close, the whole left side sunken in and hard to look at. A smug smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he stepped over the threshold, though his eyes were cool.
"Get out," Rey commanded, her voice shrill and breathy sounding in her own ears.
Snoke barely spared her a glance, stepping carefully over the broken glass.
"Really, Ben? Did you have to make such a mess?" His voice was soft, like the slither of a snake through the grass, and Rey felt goosebumps break out across her skin.
Kylo flinched at the sound of his old name, recoiling further. The look on his face... she had never seen a look like that before.
Snoke smiled at him then and Rey swore, it would haunt her for days. In that smile, she could see that he thought he had won and would take pleasure in hurting Kylo for all he had done. In that smile, she could see the monster inside the man.
"What's wrong, Ben? Do you not recognize me?" He gestured to the mangled side of his face. "You shattered my bones when you attacked me that night. Destroyed my left cheekbone and jaw almost beyond repair, though the doctors tried to reconstruct my face."
He took another step into the apartment, glancing around casually, like he'd been invited into a friend's new place.
"Although," he continued. "My ratings in the polls did go up after I was released from the hospital. You can't go wrong with sympathy votes. Perhaps I should be thanking you."
The absolute arrogance he was exuding, here, in Kylo's home, like this was all just a game to him... rage filled Rey. That and the sight of Kylo pressing himself against the front of the counter, fear in his eyes as Snoke casually spoke to him about how he had destroyed his face. Like he'd been a child throwing a temper tantrum.
She strode around to place herself in front of Kylo firmly, forcing Snoke to look at her.
"I said leave," she spat. "If you aren't gone in the next five seconds, I'm calling the cops."
BB jumped up on the counter behind her and hissed at Snoke, all of his fur bristling. He could feel the tension in the room and knew something was wrong. A low growl rumbled in his chest.
Snoke glanced at the cat, unimpressed, then his pale blue eyes fell on her. "You must be Rey, the coffee girl. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work? I'm sure Mr. Dameron will be nervous if you're late."
She struggled to keep her expression blank as ice slid down her spine. He knew who she was, maybe looked her up. Which probably meant he had been watching her. Them. God knows for how long. Had he meant for her to see him that day outside the cafe, just to shake her up?
"Get. Out. Before I make you leave." She was proud that her voice didn't waver and she didn't look away from his gaze.
Snoke chuckled unhumorously. "You don't seem to realize the position you're in. I know all about you, Rey. To say I was disappointed that Ben was spending his nights with a filthy orphan from nowhere would be an understatement. But when I learned that you ran away from your foster family and they never tried to look for you, I knew there had to be a story there. I wonder how deep I'd have to dig before it comes out."
He knew. He knew about Plutt somehow, about her stealing his money and fleeing. And now he was threatening her, casually, in Kylo's kitchen. She felt him stiffen behind her, his sharp intake of breath as he realized what Snoke was saying.
"Threaten me all you want, I'm not afraid of you."
"Ben clearly hasn't told you-" Snoke started but Kylo cut him off.
"My name isn't Ben anymore," he said, voice wavering slightly from behind Rey. She felt his hand twist in the back of her shirt, clinging to her like a child.
Snoke smirked. "Ah yes, Kylo Ren, a ridiculous mask that you insist on wearing." He said it so dismissively, with a condescending curl to his lips.
He took another step forward and Rey tensed, ready to attack him if he came any closer. Her phone was at the other end of the counter and she could snatch it up and call the police. But she'd have to leave her position in front of Kylo and she couldn't bring herself to that. His hand was still wrapped in the back of her shirt, trembling against her spine.
"Ben," he said softly, almost gently. "Come home, where you belong. We can forget this ever happened. And you can see your mother again, I know that she misses you. Don't you miss her?"
"He's not going anywhere with you," Rey hissed, pressing into Kylo tighter.
For the first time, there was a crack in Snoke's calm facade as his mouth tightened, eye twitching. She could see it in his icy eyes, how badly he wanted to strike her. And she glared right back, daring him to.
"Rey?" Finn's questioning voice sounded through the room, shattering the tension. The door was still partially open and he walked right in on them. She saw him take in the scene, her protective stance in front of Kylo, confusion and recognition when he saw Snoke, followed by dark understating. His hands curled into loose fists at his sides.
"Everything okay?" he asked cautiously.
Rey could see it on Snoke's face, that he wasn't going to risk a further altercation. He would retreat... for now.
"Governor Snoke was just leaving," she said calmly, despite the fact that fading adrenaline was making her knees shake.
He smiled a slimy, fake smile. "Of course. I think I've overstayed my welcome."
"You were never welcome in the first place," Rey said lowly. "If you come near Kylo again, I swear I'll kill you."
He didn't look worried, perhaps knowing it was an empty threat.
"Yes, perhaps you would." He gave her a knowing look and she struggled to hide how much it shook her. There was no way he knew about that, about her moment of temptation with Plutt. But the way he looked at her... it was like he was peering right into the darkest corners of her soul.
He gave Kylo one last lingering look then swept by Finn, who stepped aside with narrowed eyes, and disappeared out the door.
The apartment was silent for a long second as everyone listened to his quiet footsteps down the stairs.
"Close the door and lock it," Rey finally told Finn, twisting around to see Kylo. It was more difficult than it should have been since his hand was still clutching at her shirt.
He looked pale and lifeless, like his soul had been sucked out of him.
"Kylo." Rey gently grabbed his face and made him look at her, though she wasn't sure if he was actually seeing her. "It's okay, he's gone. You're safe now."
Slowly, awareness came back into his eyes and the emotions in them made her stomach twist violently.
He lurched away from her, stumbling down the hall and into the bathroom. Rey hurried to follow but Finn grabbed her arm, holding her back. The sound of him being sick carried out into the room.
"I've got him," Finn told her, gently pushing her aside.
"No," she protested. "He needs help, I can-"
"Rey," he cut her off softly. "I'll help him. He won't want you to see him like this."
She knew he was right so she nodded and stood aside to let him go.
Finn spoke to Kylo soothingly as he entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Rey slid down to sit outside the door, ears straining. It killed her to be sitting out here when he needed help, but she trusted Finn.
"You're okay, big guy," Finn said. "Let it out, it's okay."
Kylo gagged loudly and got sick again.
"I'm just gonna get your hair outta here, let me just grab-" She could hear Finn shuffling around for a second. "There you go, vomit hair isn't a good look for anyone. Ask Rey sometime, she knows."
"I'm not a child," Kylo rasped, then coughed, gagging again.
To Finn's credit, he didn't tease him. "Accepting help doesn't make you a child," he told him softly. There was no judgment in his voice, only thinly concealed concern and compassion.
Kylo didn't say anything and the sound of his harsh breathing was loud, even to Rey in the hallway.
"You better now?" Finn said. There was the sound of running water and the clink of glass. "Here, sip some water."
Rey wrapped her arms around her knees, tears wetting her face as she listened to Finn help Kylo get cleaned up, the toilet flushing and faucet running again.
Snoke hadn't shown up today, expecting Kylo to go back with him. He had shown up because he could, because he wanted to scare them and show that he could just waltz in at any time, that he knew where they were. And he'd succeeded.
She didn't know where they could go from this.
The sound of the bathroom door opening sent her scrambling to her feet, swiping at the tears on her face. It was just Finn though and he pulled her to the living room.
"He's just getting cleaned up, he's alright," he told her softly. "But Rey, I know who that was... this situation, it's fucked."
"I know," she muttered, throat tight. "I don't know what to do."
Finn looked at her for a second. "Take things one at a time. And right now, Kylo needs you. I'm going to leave and give you two some space but call me if you need me. And if you guys need a place to stay, my apartment is always open."
"Thank you," she whispered, giving his hand a squeeze.
He left, locking the door behind him.
Rey waited for a second, before going over and knocking softly on the bathroom door.
"Kylo? Can I come in?" she called, suddenly desperate to hear his voice and to wrap her arms around him. She needed him to know that she was here for him, that he wasn't alone and she wouldn't let Snoke take him.
"I'm coming out," he said, sending Rey back a few steps as the door opened.
He was still pale but his eyes were a bit clearer and focused, bright red spots on his cheekbones. She only got a second to look at him before he moved past her, heading into the kitchen.
Opening a drawer, he pulled out several handtowels, dropping to his knees and soaking up the spilled orange juice, carefully avoiding the glass. He wouldn't look at her.
BB padded over, nudging Kylo's knee with his head. He stroked him softly, his head lowered, eyes hidden.
"Talk to me," Rey said softly, hovering at the edge of the kitchen. She didn't want to overwhelm him but seeing him robotically cleaning the mess while avoiding her eyes... alarm bells were going off in her head.
She knew that he had been alone a long time, and have never told anyone about his abuse. It was wrong to expect him to turn to her for comfort in this situation, to expect him to change that quickly, but it still stung a bit.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked, still not looking at her.
She bit her lip, afraid of his cold, hollow voice. "Tell me that you're okay. That we aren't going to let him scare us."
He started picking up the larger glass shards, placing them carefully into a towel, and didn't say anything.
"Kylo." She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, which he shrugged off as he climbed to his feet.
"What? What can I say?" he exploded, throwing the towel of glass into the sink roughly. "You heard him threaten you! All he has to do is throw some money at Plutt to press charges against you! He could say you tried to kill him! I told you- I knew this would happen."
She shook her head, trying to get her thoughts straight. "I don't care about that, he was just trying to scare me. He wants you to be alone and vulnerable with no one to turn to. Plutt has no proof anymore, that was years ago."
Kylo just stared at her.
"What?" she said defensively, crossing her arms.
He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a brief second. "Rey... you don't understand. If it's not Plutt, Snoke will find something else to use against you. You can't get dragged into this any more than you already have. I'm not going to let you destroy your life over what you think is a noble cause. I'm not worth it."
"You're really that worried about him going to the police? Fine then, we'll go to the cops first. Let's go right now, tell them everything!"
He shook his head slowly. "You know nothing would come out of it. It's been so long now and it's my word against his. The word of a crazy, violent man against a well-liked and known governor. It would be a joke."
He was right and she couldn't deny it. "Then we get proof. We find a way to get him to admit to it. Or I'll break into his house and find evidence! We can-"
"Rey." Kylo talked over her, voice soft but enough to stop her mid-sentence. "There's no we anymore. I won't let you be a part of this."
"What are you saying?" she asked, voice tight.
He spoke slowly. "I'm saying that you need to leave. I don't think we should see each other any more."
Rey just stared at him for a second, waiting for him to laugh it off. But he didn't move, just watched her calmly. In fact, this was the steadiest she'd seem him in a while.
"This isn't funny," she told him. "Please tell me you aren't serious."
Kylo didn't move, didn't say anything.
"You can't let him win," she exclaimed. "If you cut me out and push me away, you're doing what he wants. Are you really going to do this for him?"
"I'm doing it for you," he told her softly, brown eyes sad. "And for me. Knowing that I'm helping you is the only thing I can give myself. We always knew this wouldn't work out anyways, we were doomed from the start. I was an idiot for letting myself want you."
"Stop it!" she demanded, fisting her hands at her sides. "Stop talking like that, like you've accepted this. I know you, I've spent weeks in your arms and it was real. This thing between us, it was real and you know we work together. You're really going to throw it away because Snoke started tossing around threats? Look me in the eyes and tell me you've ever felt this with anyone else."
He glanced away. "You know I can't do that."
"Then why?" she demanded. "Why would you do this?"
Kylo closed his eyes, looking pained. "Because I love you," he whispered.
Rey rocked back a step, like his words landed a physical blow against her chest. He loved her? White hot anger curled in her stomach, sending the butterflies that had erupted in her chest up in flames.
"You don't get to say that, not now," she told him, hands shaking with anger, with adrenaline, with disbelief. "You don't get to tell me that when you're trying to get rid of me. How dare you- how dare you use that as an excuse to end things between us. You don't get to tell me that you- that you- love me, then kick me out of your life."
He just stared at her.
She couldn't think. Too much had happened, too much was happening.
"You should go," Kylo finally said, walking around her slowly to open his apartment door.
Rey had no choice. If he wanted time alone to think, she could give him that. But if he thought that things between them were over now, he was in for a big surprise. He had told her that he loved her and she couldn't let him go.
"I know that you think you're doing something heroic right now," she said, making her way to the door. "But you're wrong. Together is how we're going to defeat Snoke. You can't do it alone, and you shouldn't have to. I'll be waiting for you to decide you deserve help."
She glanced over her shoulder just in time to catch one last glimpse of his face before he closed the door firmly between them.
Okay so first of all, BIG news about this story and future stories and writing and yay! If you follow me on tumblr, I posted info about it. If not, my username is midnightbluefox
Anyways, thanks so much to everyone for reading! This chapter was another difficult one to write. The helplessness of their situation at this point, of knowing they can't just accuse Snoke of abuse, of each of them wanting to save the other... Ugh, it makes my heart hurt. And as much as I hate to bring Snoke in to interact with Kylo and Rey, it's a necessary evil. I still hate it though.
Finally, as a brief update, my roommate suddenly sprang on me that he wants to move out next month, rather than in a few months. So I have only a few weeks to find a new place to live, which isn't stressful at all. There's a chance my chapters might take a little longer to come out if I'm busy apartment hunting, so please everyone bear with me. Thanks for your continued support as always, you are all amazing.