Welcome back to NMASL2, my little corner of Lecterland! Please enjoy!

AND I'M NOT AFRAID

Hannibal sat in his car for several minutes before exiting. He leaned back with his eyes closed and breathed deeply relishing the adrenalin still flooding his system. He squeezed his fists, flexed his arms and the muscles of his torso feeling the power of his body's response to the sensory overload. He summoned it to remain just a bit longer buzzing through his body, alerting every nerve, every muscle fiber.

Adrenalin was a natural stimulant Hannibal enjoyed with zeal though he now rarely experienced the full measure of it. He had promised Clarice he would never kill for his own satisfaction though he would not hesitate to kill if threatened and he would not hesitate to thoroughly enjoy every minute of it without apology or regret.

Clarice is perceptive. She will know…will she understand?

Hannibal opened the car door and swung his leg out, his foot crunched atop a patch of hardened snow as he stepped out of his car. Smiling he mused at how tactilely similar the ice giving way under his foot was compared to the crush of his heel against the cartilaginous larynx of his attacker. He was also quite pleased that the dermis of the man's neck remained intact as he rather liked this particular pair of shoes and would not have been happy to have been rid of them. Luckily there had been no bloody foot prints or bruising impressions on the flesh left at the scene that would have made their disposal a necessity.

All in all it was a rather enjoyable outing. Yes, that had been quite a pleasant surprise.

Hannibal's eyes shifted to Clarice's car believing he could see the shadow of something within. He approached the Mustang to see the front seat pushed back to accommodate a large box wedged against the dashboard. He searched his key ring, opened her car and removed the package careful to sidestep the snow and ice that had accumulated from the previous day's snowfall.

Clarice heard Hannibal's car the moment he parked in front of the home. She had been watching the security monitor curious as to why he had not come in immediately. Saying nothing about his unusual behavior she opened the door and held it. As he passed she quickly scanned up and down the street to see if he had been watching anyone, or more to the point, if anyone had been watching him.

Hannibal immediately noticed her surveillance and called her on it, "No need to worry, Ex-Special Agent Starling you will not find anyone or anything amiss. I simply needed a few moments to…readjust."

Clarice didn't particularly like the sound of that.

Readjust to what?

She did not respond though she decided it would be best, in light of that comment, to survey his behavior carefully. Concerned as she was, Clarice kept her voice cheerful attempting to keep the mood light though she was alerted to possible trouble. She knew her husband well and was concerned. Something was a bit…off.

"Thanks for bringing that in for me, H. The box isn't so much heavy as it is bulky and Dev is taking up more and more room every day. I just couldn't wrap my arms around it."

"Not at all, Clarice." He kissed her cheek as he passed. "Where would you like me to place this?"

She rubbed his back as if the contact would reveal something to her. He was maddeningly agreeable though there seemed to be something simmering just below. Still watching very closely, Clarice directed him to the second floor.

"There's room on the floor in the baby's closet. Just until we need it. I think the seat will have to go in your car. The Mustang wouldn't be practical. If you don't mind, that is."

"I don't mind at all, Clarice. I would be more than happy to install the car seat as soon as you believe it is necessary."

"Soon, H…just in case the baby decides to make an early appearance."

Clarice continually smoothed her hands across her husband's shoulders. She loved the fact that he was so powerful, in fact deceptively, and often relied on his physicality now that her pregnancy compromised her own ease of movement. She laughed to herself that he was technically a senior citizen as he was anything but that in her eyes.

Hannibal continued through the house with Clarice bouncing happily alongside. They entered the baby's room. Still breathing deeply from the adrenalin Hannibal's inhalations picked up the scent of Clarice already in the room.

"You have been in this room recently," he spoke it more as an observation than a question.

She cheerfully moved around him, "I was putting away some clothing and the rest of the things we needed in place before our little man gets here."

Hannibal stood beside the closet and waited for Clarice to open the door. He bent to place the box when suddenly his acute sense of smell caused him to lift his chin, gathering her scent. He stood and tracked the aroma to the shelf, his eyes flashed anger when they fell upon the gun display case he recognized as being John Brigham's.

She handled that box within the hour…to what end?

Hannibal was shocked and very disturbed by the unexpected pang of jealousy infiltrating his body. He swallowed hard as it choked the back of his throat the way smoke drifts under the door and fills a room thus smothering the occupants. The intrusive nature of the emotion clouded his thoughts. Deep and low as his voice rumbled, reflecting his angst, he posed his question as pointed as the hook of his Harpy.

His eyes glowed as if backlit by his intrusive thoughts, "Did you have need of a weapon in my absence, Clarice?"

Confused by his anger she questioned, "What?"

He rephrased the sentence and repeated his intolerant tone, "Your scent is on that box. You have handled it recently. Did you have need of that weapon?"

"No. I was just…" she stopped.

"You were just what, Clarice?" Hannibal's tone was now edged with aggression.

Clarice had been so excited to show her husband the things she purchased for their son that his tone hurt her feelings and that bothered her. She was angry with herself for feeling hurt. It seemed needy to her and if there was one thing that Clarice hated, it was neediness so conflicted she tried to process what was happening.

He's jealous and angry…Brigham is dead. He isn't a romantic rival, never was…still it seems as if he doesn't trust me. He always trusts me. Something is different…Something's happened. What the fuck is going on!

Clarice's feelings shifted quickly from hurt to a much more offensive stance. Never being the kind of woman to tuck tail and run, now frustrated, she challenged in return.

"What the hell are you insinuating, H?"

He glared at her, "I did not insinuate. I posed a question. I await an answer."

Clarice stepped closer leaving her face no more than a few inches from his. Anger hummed In the back of her throat as she raised her voice defensively and started to rant totally disappointed by his lack of trust in her.

"Remember who I am, H. I'm not involved in that circle of lackeys you are assembling . I'm not one of your new 'friends'."

"You are more than aware that I have no want or need of friends. I socialize with your friends to make you happy. Each additional person I offer my friendship to is a merely a cog in the wheel. You know I have a purpose, a specific goal in mind, Clarice. We have discussed this at length so please do not attempt to distract from the topic at hand. I await your answer."

Clarice strongly resented Hannibal's condescending and aggressive demand, "Well you can wait all goddamned day! You posed a question with a lot of jealousy and aggression behind it and I'm offended at the implication. You know goddamned well I didn't need a weapon and if I did it would've been my own, not my dead friend's. You're insinuating that I opened that box to relive some kind of pre-pubescent attachment…maybe it's true but it's none of your freaking business! You're waiting for an answer? Fuck you! You can wait till Hell freezes over before you get an answer from me! You want to know why I opened it…Open it yourself or maybe you're too afraid to find out."

He flashed his bright white teeth menacingly as he snarled, "I… Fear….Nothing."

The truth within the statement seemed almost a premonition.

Hannibal moved in closer. He pressed his face alongside hers, their cheeks touching as he growled low in her ear, "You know I will never open that box, Clarice."

Clarice pushed him back, shoving his shoulders hard. She spat out in anger.

"Then fuck you you'll never find out!"

Hannibal lunged and grabbed her shoulders pressing her against the closet door. Though his face was fully flushed and his eyes were wild with rage he held her but did not press himself against her body, aware of the baby within. Raging, he growled out his jealousy and anger in a low deep, rumbling sound that emanated from his depths and burst from his throat exploding outward like the roar a lion… a warning.

No Clarice…not yet…stay away.

His eyes were glazed over as he stared forward causing Clarice to shout in order to get his attention, "Hannibal!"

He was in an otherworldly place and she needed to bring him back to her. Clarice quickly grabbed both sides of his head and turned his face to hers. She looked deep within his eyes and searched them for what she prayed she would not see. Her heart sank in her chest like a stone tumbling to the bottom of a lakebed. The flood of her fears overtook her.

"Oh my God H…Who was it?"

He heard the fear in her voice and though he did not regret the lives he took he did not wish to be the cause of her upset. To comfort his wife he rested his head on her shoulder and whispered, his lips touching her neck as he spoke within her ear nothing more than her name, "Clariiice."

She pulled his head back, reached again for his face and held her eyes on his.

"Your eyes…that…glow…I know that look. Hannibal…Hannibal! Who did you kill tonight?"

He stood, staring forward remembering her words and hoping she did as well.

I know your Nature and I'm not afraid.

He held her gaze, his eyes just slightly softer now. Standing in their baby's room he did not want to speak of death.

He whispered, "Clarice…Please, not here. Not in this place."

"What difference does it make where? What? Because we're in the baby's room? Were you thinking about our baby when you killed tonight? Were you thinking about me?"

"Yes…I was thinking of the baby. I was thinking of you. I vowed I would come back to you…at all cost."

"I goddamned want to know who and why and you better not say Bloom! Hannibal tell me who!"

He was disappointed in her tone but he understood it. She was enraged because she believed he was being careless, though nothing, in his mind, could be further from the truth. She spoke his given name as if it were poison sucked from a wound and spat out on the ground.

Hannibal…not H.

He began quietly, "Two men… Not Bloom."

"Two men! You killed two men tonight? What the fuck, H?"

She quickly pulled him by the hand as if he were a petulant boy. She dragged him with her to the loveseat nestled under the window. It was carefully placed as they intended to read to their child together. For now it was a place of anger and recrimination.

Clarice was overwrought and pointing an accusatory finger at him she stabbed the air as she warned, "You will tell me everything, H…All of it. You don't leave one detail out. Understood? Agreed?"

She called me H…she is willing to consider that I had no choice. Brave Clarice…you are my warrior.

He held up a hand in compliance, "Understood…Agreed."

Clarice asked him to speak of blood and of death in their baby's room and Hannibal left out no detail. He explained where he was and what had happened. She sat with her hands wrapped protectively around the baby. There was no anger or judgment on her face. She not only heard what he said…she listened. When he finished the explanation she paused, processing.

"Okay so you had no choice. They probably would have killed you."

"I made every effort to avoid the confrontation. When it became inevitable, my focus shifted. Yes. They would have killed me. One of them wanted my eyes."

"Your eyes…he told you he wanted your eyes? Jesus…Jesus."

"Yes, I believe he meant to kill me, pluck them out of my head and pop them in a bottle of alcohol…a trophy of sorts."

Clarice looked him in the eyes, the worry evident. She didn't believe she needed to ask the question but she wanted confirmation, "Speaking of trophies…you didn't use your Harpy did you? You didn't…bring anything home?"

Hannibal reached for Clarice's hand and held it.

"Clarice, I would never. I promised you I would kill only in defense and I promised you I would never again ingest human flesh. I kept those promises. I will always keep my promises, but I never promised you, if forced to kill, that I wouldn't…enjoy it."

"I know, H…I know who you are and I don't care if you loved every goddamned minute of it. As a matter of fact I am certain you had a real party tonight so good for you. You got them. They didn't get you. That's all I care about."

"Though I would not have lied to you, Clarice I must admit I was concerned. After all, some women would find that fact…off putting. I wondered if you thought I had changed."

"I'm not most women .Honestly, what the hell have you been thinking? I married you. I love you. I wouldn't change you if I could. You enjoyed killing them? Good, they would have enjoyed killing you. For all I care as long as you came home to me you could have played maracas with their jawbones and the xylophone on their ribs for all I give a damn. You think I believed you suddenly found killing assholes against your delicate sensibilities…that you were somehow miraculously cured?"

"I don't know…I am attempting to be more…"

"Normal?"

"Yes."

"To keep me?"

"If need be…Yes."

"H… Brigham was normal. Crawford was normal. I don't do normal. The pleasure you take in killing, as long as it's justified, isn't even on my radar. My concern is that you do so only to protect yourself or our family. This is a tenuous situation we are in with Bloom. If we can't get past him…we won't be able to return to this area and even though I really love our compound in Argentina, I'm getting really attached to this house as well."

"I am aware of that Clarice. I have planned for Bloom."

"Think…is there anything that ties you to that scene because if there is we are on the next flight out of here. I'll have my baby in Argentina before I'll see you locked up again. Is there anything you might have missed?"

Hannibal was confident. As usual, his foes were no match to his intellect. All contingencies had been considered and allowances had been made for every possible outcome. There was nothing to tie him to the scene or the crime.

"Anyone coming upon it will conclude the men killed each other. There is in fact video proving they entered the area alone. I was aware of the surveillance cameras and stayed out of range. The only camera that could have picked up my movements, I shifted."

"You're sure of that?"

"Yes, Clarice…I am without question."

Clarice now understood that Hannibal's earlier aggression was the adrenalin surges she had seen in him before, his heightened jealousy a reflection of his love. She released his hand, stood, crossed the room, opened the closet and reached up to the box on the shelf. She took it down and carried it to Hannibal.

"I want to show you something, H."

Clarice opened the box and very carefully lifted the weapon along with its insert placing them on the loveseat beside her. She tilted the box toward Hannibal so that he could clearly see the contents.

Hannibal quickly looked away. "I don't want to see what you have placed within that box, Clarice. You were correct. It is not my business."

"H…Look. Please."

Though Hannibal had no shame in him, not in penitence but out of respect to his wife's privacy, he held his head low and continued to avert his eyes. "You have nothing to prove to me, Clarice."

She spoke with the quiet confidence he was accustomed to, the anger gone, "I'm not trying to prove a thing to you. You know me, H… I wouldn't. I'm trying to share something with you."

Hannibal looked up, first to her eyes where he saw only love and acceptance, then to the contents of the box. There, just beneath the note he had written tonight, were all of the notes and drawings he had ever sent her wrapped in a deep maroon ribbon obviously being treasured.

Clarice was embarrassed and a little wary of his response, "I told you it was a pre-pubescent attachment…I put them here because I knew you would never open that box. I didn't want you to laugh at me. You probably think it's immature and silly."

Hannibal was already emotional, the adrenalin still coursing through every fiber of his being.

"I don't think it's silly nor do I find it immature. Aside from giving birth to my son, this is the most loving gift I have ever received. No one has ever been to me what you are. No one could ever be to me what you are. With you…I am loved. With you I love. I would never have been able to speak those words if not for you. You are above All because you accept me for who I am…for what I am. You know my Nature..."

She understood his meaning, leaned over and spoke the words within the kiss she pressed gently against his lips.

"…and I'm not afraid."

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review and tell me what you think, then PM and say Hi!

Until the next chapter my friends,

LH