"I want him", Freyja stated with a sharp, predatory grin. Tony flinched as if she had hit him and her grin widened, turning sadistic without any hint of shame.
But what was much, much worse than her demand was Loki's response: "I accept."
"Wait, what?", he blurted out, moving away from the prince, his eyes wide with horror. Somewhere in the background he heard Frigga say something about how there surely was another way, but he couldn't be brought to focus on that. "You can't be –"
Loki didn't even look at him as he interrupted: "Silence, Anthony."
"Silence", Tony repeated incredulously. His heart hammered against his ribs as if trying to break free, trying to escape his body because of his sudden panic. "Silence my ass, I thought you –"
The prince did turn this time as he snarled, his voice sharp enough to cut through stone: "Are you going to make me repeat myself?" Tony stared at him and it took all the resolve he had to not stand up and bolt from the room. The way he had started to tremble, he wouldn't have made it far anyway. With his fists clenched in the cushions of the couch, he watched as Loki turned back towards Freyja and continued: "As I was saying – yes, I accept. Under one condition."
"Setting conditions now, are we?", the goddess asked, obviously amused in some twisted kind of way.
Loki leaned back and crossed his arms as he responded: "While you surely do have something to hold against me, let us not forget that you organized an ambush on a prince of Asgard during a time of peace. I do not believe that you would like Odin to hear about that unfortunate incident."
Freyja was silent for a moment and Tony stared back and forth between the two. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening, Loki would never, ever do something like that. After all, he... When did you start to trust him, idiot? You should know better than that by now. He forced himself to listen to the course of the conversation so he didn't lose his grip on himself entirely. Not in front of them. Not in front of Loki.
"What would that condition be?"
"Nothing but a small delay. I am sure that you will be present for Thor's upcoming coronation, won't you?", Loki asked. "I will hand him over on the day Thor becomes king of Asgard. That is all I ask for." Was Tony supposed to be flattered by that? Give me a month and then you can have him.
"How touching", Freyja said with malicious joy. "So be it then." She stood up, gathering her skirts around her, and stepped forward so she could lean down in front of Tony. Her long fingers brushed along his jawline and the inventor wanted nothing more than break her delicate nose with his forehead. Instead, he sat there in a state not unlike paralysis as she whispered, close enough for her breath to ghost over his skin: "I cannot wait." Then, she bowed before Frigga with a curt "Your Highness" before leaving the room.
As soon as the door closed behind her, the three crystal glasses that stood on the table exploded into hundreds of little shards and Tony flinched again, pressing his back into the cushions. Trembling, he wrapped his arms around his torso and tried to breathe deeply. He was going into full panic mode and there was nothing he could do about it.
"How I loathe this disgusting, foul-mouthed, two-faced whore", Loki spat next to him, followed by a scandalised "Loki!" from Frigga. The prince ignored his mother and Tony could see sparks of green light dance around his fingertips as he strode through the room, looking like he was desperately seeking for something to throw against a wall. "I cannot believe this, how does she dare to make demands after what she did? I should have murdered her right then and there, I could have portrayed it as self-defence, nobody would have batted an eye, not even her brother would have mourned this wench. He would probably have thanked me for it, too."
"Loki, it is enough", Frigga cut in sharply while she rushed to Tony's side. He winced as she reached out to touch his shoulder, so she settled for kneeling down in front of him and staring at him out of her blue-grey eyes. In the quiet voice that only mothers use to calm their kids down after a particularly bad nightmare, she murmured: "Calm yourself, Anthony. You are safe here, nothing will happen..." And so on.
Yeah, here I'm just fine, Tony wanted to reply, the problem is what I'm going to do when I'm not here anymore because your son just sold me out without even trying to do anything about it. He didn't speak anything of that out loud, though, because he didn't think that his voice would last for more than two words.
"Anthony", Loki's voice chimed in after... he really didn't know when, it couldn't be more than a minute, "we are leaving." Frigga turned a glare his way and opened her mouth to object, but the god continued over her: "Please, mother, I will take care of him, you know I will, but it won't be here."
Yeah, keep talking about me like I'm not here, it's fine. You'll get rid of me soon, anyway. Tony looked up at the prince who stood next to the door with an impatient, expectant look. Standing up from the couch and walking over to him, still with his arms wrapped around himself, felt like the hardest thing he had ever done. If there was one person he didn't want to be near to right now, it was Loki. Welcome to Obie 2.0, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your ride, but don't expect anything new to happen. We've had all of this before. The god held the door open for him and then walked ahead without speaking a single word. Tony followed, equally silent, and was just glad that the quarters of the royal family members weren't far from each other since he wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep it together. All he wanted to do right now was curl up and die somewhere.
No, all I want to do is go home and find a place where not every single person I trust ends up betraying me.
He barely noticed arriving to Loki's wing until the prince opened the door to his quarters. Tony moved to side-step him so he could reach his own room, but the mage stepped in front of him and shook his head: "Come in, Anthony. I won't leave you alone in that state."
"Yeah, because you would care, wouldn't you", the engineer laughed bitterly, taking a step back and glaring at Loki.
"Of course I care", came the reply, but Loki looked clearly exasperated. "Now come in."
"You know, I don't think I will", Tony responded. "I'm totally peachy on my own, thanks anyway. Now, if you don't mind..."
"Anthony, just get into the room."
"Why would I listen to anything you say? It's all bullshit anyway, I don't know why I ever started to believe you." Fandral's words came back to his mind. "Possessive, protective, my ass. The only thing you're protective about is your princely honour."
"Would you quit making such a scene!", the mage snapped sharply.
"Making a scene?!", Tony repeated, his voice rising to a shout. "So I'm making a scene now? Well, I'm really fucking sorry for being" absolutely goddamn panicked "just a tiny bit upset here, but I guess it's my fault for having expectations, isn't it?"
"You are not yelling at me!", Loki shouted.
"Yes, I am yelling at you!", the inventor screamed back. "I do what I fucking want!"
"Enough!", the prince barked. "Inside. Now. You go or I swear, I am going to drag you in. By your hair, if I must, but this stops now!" Tony glared at him, his fists clenched by his side, but couldn't muster the courage to keep objecting. Filled with a mixture of fear and anger, he stepped inside and heard Loki slam the door shut hard enough to make the inventor wince. Then, there was a sigh from behind him and the god spoke up again: "If you listened to what I said to Freyja –"
"I was listening just fine!", Tony yelled, whirling around to face Loki. "I'm pretty sure I memorized every fucking syllable of how you told her that she's free to do whatever she wants with me to get her revenge on you!"
"Congratulations, now could we move on to the important parts?", the prince drawled sarcastically.
"Important parts?!", Tony repeated incredulously. He wanted to keep screaming, yelling, shouting, anything, but instead, his voice sounded drained and hopeless. "Important parts. You mean apart from you granting her to have her way with me. You're actually – I can't believe you're real. But what the fuck did I expect from a slave holder, anyway."
For a moment, Loki was very, very silent. The inventor saw his hand ball into a fist as if he longed to hit something and Tony took a careful step backwards. As Loki raised his arm in a sudden movement, he jerked back, almost stumbling over his own feet, but the god merely pointed at the door and ordered in a cold, levelled voice: "Out. I do not want to see you setting as much as a foot out of your room until I can talk to you reasonably again."
"Oh, am I grounded now, mum?", Tony bit out.
"If you insist on acting like a child, then I shall treat you accordingly", the mage answered sharply, stepping aside in a clear gesture of here is the door, now get the bloody hell out.
With a last glare, Tony obeyed. He didn't stomp through the hallway, but he did slam the door to his chamber hard enough to make his ears hurt. The following silence felt like it was physically pressing down on him and now, without anyone there to watch him, he simply gave in and slid down onto the floor, his back leaning against the wall, and pulled his knees to his chest so he could wrap his arms around them. With a shuddering sigh, he rested his forehead on his knees and squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't going to cry now. Wasn't, wasn't, wasn't...
Well, it wasn't like anybody was there to see him, anyway.
He didn't even want to start to imagine what Freyja would be like. This wasn't about him, he had understood that from the start, but she wanted to hit Loki where it hurt. Take revenge for something that had happened ages ago, and since she couldn't get to the prince directly, she wanted to find something that was precious to him so she could hurt him through it. Well, judging by the prince's absolute lack of will to defend Tony, he wasn't what she had been looking for. For some ridiculous reason, that thought stung more than just a little.
But far greater than the pain of Loki's betrayal – because that was what it felt like, although the god hadn't owned him anything – was the fear of going back. Back to the life of an ordinary slave – a slave that was solely held for the purpose of being broken. Tony curled in on himself even tighter. He had fought against this... this hell he had been tossed into for months, but he wasn't sure how long he would be able to continue. There was a breaking point to every person and he really wasn't sure how far he could push himself before reaching it.
And now you're curled up in your room and crying your eyes out, the sarcastic part of his mind said. Doesn't look like there's much leeway for you when you're talking about breaking points.
Crying hurt. Every time his chest constricted with a sob, it caused a stab of pain from the arc reactor which didn't do anything to calm him down. He couldn't go back there, he couldn't, there was no way he would be able to stay himself through something like that. Loki couldn't do this to him. He couldn't – couldn't –
Except that he already had. It was like the palladium all over again, he was just waiting for it to take effect and kill him slowly, gradually, but just as inevitably as if he would jump out of the chamber's window right away. The idea didn't even sound all that bad.
Taking a deep breath (or at least trying to), he shook his head. He was not giving up. He'd rather stand through everything Freyja subjected him to than giving up. His mind was all he had now.
It didn't do anything to cheer him up.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, sobbing like a child and curled up tightly, like it would keep the world from noticing him and his thoughts, spiralling in the same way over and over again, but by the time he heard the knock at the door, his neck was stiff and his back cracked when he straightened himself up and hastily wiped his face with his sleeve. He was aware that it probably wouldn't do much to improve his appearance, but it was the thought that counted, right? Depending on who was outside, he wouldn't even have to open the door.
"What?", he snapped – or, at least, he tried to. It came out as a hoarse croak and he winced at hearing his own voice. He sounded terrible. Like... well, like someone who had cried. A lot. Damn.
Someone tried to open the door from outside, but since Tony was still sitting in front of it, it only moved about an inch before his body stopped it. After a moment, Loki's voice (well, who else would it be) came from outside: "Really, now? Let me in, Anthony."
The inventor desperately tried to muster some of the fury that had made him shout at Loki before, but even then, it had been a masquerade covering the shock and betrayal he had felt. Now? There was nothing left that let him pretend. Like he had cried all of his resistance out.
With stiff movements, he got to his feet and pulled the door open, staring at the tips of Loki's boots as he did so. He barely heard the prince's "I brought lunch, Marianne would kill me if I let you starve", just stepped aside to let him enter. "You can talk to me, you know", Loki continued. "Silence is not changing anything. Or are you ready to listen to me now?" There was the soft clinking of dishes being set up while Tony still stood awkwardly at the door. He hadn't stopped staring at the floor since Loki had entered – his hair had grown and hid his eyes as long as he kept his eyes on the carpet, but he knew that as soon as he looked up, the god would see the state he was in. It was something he definitely didn't want to show him. "You are aware, though, that ignoring me will not solve your problems", the mage stated.
"And talking to you will", Tony shot back sarcastically before he could think about it (brain-to-mouth-filter, goddammit!). He heard Loki still in his movements as he heard the engineer's raspy voice. Are you seriously unable to shut up even once in your life? In the awkward silence, he could hear every step that the mage took into his direction and stubbornly kept staring down at his feet. He wasn't sure where his body got all the water from – his head already hurt like hell – but he felt himself tear up again, another reason not to meet Loki's gaze right now. Instead, he bit his lower lip, hard, and told himself that it didn't matter any more either way.
For a moment, Loki stood in front of him, apparently waiting for him to look up by himself, but when it became clear that he wouldn't, he instructed: "Look at me, Anthony." Tony shook his head silently, his shoulders shaking. It was incredible of how much crying his body was capable. What cracked him up was the quiet "Please" that Loki added after some seconds.
"You can't let her take me", he blurted out, his voice wavering, finally looking up at the prince. He saw Loki's eyes widen as soon as they met his, saw him opening his mouth to say something, but he talked over him as long as he could still speak in (mostly) coherent sentences. Fisting his hands in the god's tunic, he repeated: "You can't let her take me, Loki, I can't do that, you can't do that, you need to let me stay here – please, I can't go back to that, I'll do whatever you want, but I- I... don't let her... I can't..."
Finally, Loki seemed to overcome his initial surprise. He grasped Tony's arms tightly, leaning down until he was on eye-level, and interrupted with something that sounded like horror in his tone: "Oh dear Norns, Anthony, calm down!"
The inventor talked over him because no, he was definitely not ready to calm down now: "I mean it, you can't let her do that, I... I'll stop talking back at you if that's what you want, I'll stop annoying you, but please don't give me away..." Loki laid a finger onto his lips in another attempt to hush him, but Tony still continued, shaking his head slightly: "Anything, Loki, I'll do anything, but I can't go back there, I really can't –"
He felt Loki's hand on the back of his head as the palm of his other closed over Tony's mouth, effectively silencing him. The engineer stared up at him, suppressing a sob that turned into a small hiccup. In a quiet, urgent voice, the prince said: "Now, if you would finally start listening to me, I could explain what I meant to tell you all along. She is not going to lay a finger on you, I promise. She will not touch you, do you hear me?" He lifted his hand enough for the other to speak.
"B-but you said", Tony stammered, his voice breaking, "you said that she would..."
"Stop, stop, breathe", the god ordered. "Think about what I said. You have such a beautiful mind, Anthony, use it. I set a condition, didn't I? I told her that I would hand you over the day Thor becomes king of Asgard."
"I know, I heard that", the engineer responded. "So you delayed it, but that still doesn't mean that she can't..."
"Thor's coronation", Loki cut him off, "is not going to take place!" Tony blinked, trying to process the mage's words. "When I said I wanted to delay it so Thor would have time to grow more mature, more suited for his task, then I didn't talk about making him wait three days more. Freyja agreed to a contract that is only valid when Thor is king. It could be years until that condition is fulfilled – and we have more than enough time to find a way out of this agreement. If it is necessary, I am going to kill her myself, no matter who knows about it, but I never planned on letting her take you, Anthony. If you just would have listened to me – I had no idea you were this upset. I wouldn't have left you alone if I had."
"Upset", Tony repeated, trying to ignore the hitch in his own voice. "Upset. I was fucking terrified, you asshole. I mean – my god, oh my god, I thought you were actually going to... to... oh god." He took a shuddering breath, trying to wrap his head around what he had just heard. Loki had a plan. Loki had a plan and... "And you couldn't fucking tell me about this just a teeny bit earlier?"
"I tried to, but someone wouldn't listen", Loki countered.
Tony took a deep breath and wiped his face with a shaking hand. His next words sounded more stable again: "Did you expect me to sit there and smile when I thought that you had... had done that?"
"Are we really starting this anew now?"
"I... we... no. No, let's not do that." He cleared his throat. "Okay. Okay then." One of his hands was still clenched around the fabric of Loki's tunic and he considered letting go so he could step back and sit down because the relief had made him almost dizzy, but he really didn't want to move right now. He settled for talking some more, just to fill the silence that had begun to fill the room. "Promise me that you never do something like that or God help me, I'll have a heart attack. Maybe I'll just faint like some damsel in distress." He sighed over-dramatically and brought the back of his hand to his forehead in a mock-gesture of losing consciousness, but quickly turned serious again. "Promise", he reminded.
"I do not make promises I cannot keep", Loki answered with the hint of a smile. "Making enemies is something I seem to be very good at." That would have sounded innocent, embarrassed even, if it weren't for the devious, cheeky smirk on the prince's face. "But I do promise that I will make sure to keep you out of harm's way."
"I'll take your word for that. If I gotta buy a tombstone, I'll pass the bill over to you", Tony mumbled. Underneath his hand (still holding on to Loki's tunic – he should let go now, shouldn't he?), he could feel the god's pulse and with a heavy sigh, he looped his arms around Loki's waist and hid his face in the soft fabric of his tunic. Immediately, the prince's arms wrapped around him. "But I do trust you to keep your word", he muttered very quietly.
Loki's embrace only tightened in response and Tony forced himself to exhale, trying to get rid of the last of the panic and the bitter taste of betrayal – because there had been no betrayal. Loki was still on his side. There was nothing he had to fear. And while that probably was an overstatement, it was so easy to believe right now where he was being held tightly and full of oh-thank-god-I'm-not-dying-endorphins that he decided to indulge the feeling just a little while longer.
When he felt... well, sort of calm again, he slowly stepped backwards without leaving Loki's space just yet. They were barely more than a few inches apart and Tony shot the god a small smile. The prince leaned down and for a moment, the inventor froze in expectation, eyes fixed on Loki and his pulse suddenly leaping into his throat, but then the god just breathed a kiss into his tousled hair and whispered: "I want you to know that I would never sell you out like this. Never. Do you understand that?" The engineer nodded weakly. "Good. Now, I believe Marianne has made something wonderful for lunch and I am sure that you will want to eat something."
"Was that an order?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Consider it one, if you will. She would behead us if we didn't eat up. Now come on."
It might be the aforementioned high on endorphins or maybe just the general mix of confusion and stress and relief that messed up his mind, but Tony found that he wouldn't have minded if Loki had kissed him just now.