Three

The broken and the damned

I'm a broken soul; I'm an open book with many torn out pages – Trent Dabbs, Turn our eyes away

This was a version of Hell. She had been told to fight her demons and come out of Hell with a smile on her face but how could she fight through this? How could she come out not broken? Hermione stood there in disbelief, her eyes never wavering from the Muggle man; she had an inkling on what was going to happen.

"Ah, Miss Granger it's so nice that you're here," Voldemort spoke and she looked at him, "Now you're here we can begin." He indicated to the seat closest to her at the opposite side of the table from him. She sat willingly. Her logic kicked in and told her that she was sitting the furthest away from the Dark Lord so she was the weakest, the worthless, but she was also facing him head on so that he could keep an eye on her. Her guards took seats closer to Voldemort. Still her eyes did not look away from the man, everyone else had their eyes on their Lord – the man with snake like eyes and slits for nostrils this was the man who was incapable of loving anything – but their Lord only had eyes for Hermione. "I will ask you one more time before our guest awakes; tell us about Potter," he demanded and her eyes flicked towards his and she shook her head, just slightly, defiantly. "Such a strong will," he mused and then turned his attention to the man. At an indication a wand was raised and suddenly the man came to life. With a groan the figure began to struggle against his invisible bonds. "You won't recognise our guest but he is a Muggle like your parents and very much like you,"

The man revolved to face Hermione and she saw his scared face and he spoke through his cracked lips "Help me!" he directed the terrified plea towards Hermione who knew what was to be done if the man's life would be saved.

For once Hermione spoke against her better judgment "How so?" she said loudly towards Voldemort and the death eaters briefly looked at her before averting their attention back to the Dark Lord.

Voldemort only chuckled "Ah yes this man, Alexander Lewis you call him, is very interested in magic and I do believe that he has dedicated his life to researching all the different creatures and theories. He is also a very keen reader just like you Hermione," a hiss still lingered even after his cruel lips were closed. Hermione forced herself to exhale and to act calm; this was a male version of what Hermione would've liked to have done if she had not been gifted with being a witch. How Voldemort knew that she had no idea.

Alexander Lewis revolved to face her again "Girl... please... please,"

"Silence you filth," with a flick of a wand the man was forced to stay silent. "We granted his wish and alerted him to the fact that magic does indeed exist and, now this is where you come in, you either tell us about Potter and he walks free or you don't and he dies." And there it was the ultimatum. Voldemort knew that she didn't want others to get hurt and to have innocent blood on her hands so this was it, this was the easiest way to get her to break. "Come on Hermione you don't have all day," still her lips were sealed.

The man revolved around again his eyes pleaded with her they spoke the truth that she felt as well I don't want to die and she felt for him, she didn't want him to die but was it worth it? God, she was acting like these death eaters thinking that a Muggle's life was worth less than Harry's (because that is what it was basically killing Harry with telling his secrets) but Harry was her best friend, she didn't know this man. That didn't justify it though, he was innocent he had nothing to do with the war, with the Wizarding World.

Alexander revolved around again. The death eaters all looked at Hermione. Hermione struggled inwardly. They were not her secrets to tell, they were Harry's and the late Dumbledore's. He had entrusted Harry and therefore his friends with the knowledge to destroy Voldemort, to end the war, but it wasn't hers to exploit, even if she was looking at death. She wouldn't, no couldn't do that. "Well..." Voldemort demanded. Still Hermione stayed silent her mind was set. A wand was raised.

The man faced Hermione again, he struggled and squirmed against his bonds as if he was aware that death was coming within a few seconds, he pleaded with his eyes. This man probably had a family, a loving wife and children. They would be worried sick, could she do this? Could she deal with blood on her hands? She felt like her head was going to explode. Lips were opened to utter the dreaded words.

"They're at a safe house," she uttered. Everything stopped. Why had she done that? She hadn't meant to do that. Her lips had just acted without thought. She placed a hand over her mouth in horror. The wand was lowered.

"What?" Voldemort said eagerly, everyone was at attention now.

"The safe house has both the magical abilities of the Order and the Ministry as well as others, you won't find them Riddle," Hermione was a bit more confident with her words it was an answer yet it was unreachable. Voldemort bristled at his Muggle father's name. Anger brewed to the surface. Tears poured from Alexander's eyes into his short blonde hair. The man turned towards her and as the wand was raised again Hermione uttered the last words she would say to him "I'm sorry,"

"Avada Kedavra," the sickly green spell hit him and he fell from his bonds – dead. He hit the table with a thud and Hermione wanted to turn her head away but found that she couldn't. She could see his lifeless eyes reflected in the mirror like the surface of the polished table. She felt sick. She had to swallow bile and noticed that tears had silently escaped.

"Nagini, dinner," Voldemort said and stared intently at Hermione "It wasn't enough," Hermione still could not tear her eyes away from the dead man. She had done that, she had rid someone of a father, a husband, a brother, a son. She felt dirty in her clean clothes. She could just about see the red blood on her hands from where they shook clasped together on her lap. She shook her head to get rid of it but it wouldn't disappear. Then she watched the snake gracefully glide its way towards the man and just as its mouth opened, showing rows of hungry fang like teeth, she had to look away. She had never felt guiltier. She was a murderer. "Come here Hermione,"

Through watery eyes she looked at Voldemort and was surprised at his request. She got to her feet and lightly scraped the chair back. Shakily, she stood a few steps and then stopped for a moment. She was doing this willingly but why did it feel like she was being compelled? Murderers don't get to have choices a dark voice crooned into her ear. She shook her head and walked on. The countless stares burnt her skin but she only had eyes for the man who had called for her. She sniffled and showed the death eaters her saddened face. She was sure that they knew that they had broken her. Eventually she got to his side where an empty chair sat. The right hand man's chair. Snape's chair. She figured he was still at Hogwarts and couldn't escape or he just hadn't been called. There were other empty chairs as well so she knew that some would be running errands for Voldemort. He indicated to sit and she did. Her skin crawled with revulsion. She hated herself for letting that man die and she loathed that she was sitting in the right hand mans chair. Hermione hugged her arms and hoped that it would provide enough warmth to remove the steady cold that had settled over her.

Voldemort looked down on the crying girl. "You could've saved that man, if only you had provided some answers," he sighed "I confess myself disappointed with you," It shouldn't have hurt but it did, she was just a big disappointment to everyone. She was a disappointment to Harry and Ron because she stayed behind and didn't provide them with her intelligence, to Voldemort and the death eaters for not complying and to the man who she had let die, to everyone else too. She had failed them. His pale hand lifted her head up and her eyes met his red. "I know you didn't want that man to die, I know, so to honour him you can give us the answers now. It will relieve that guilt that you are feeling." He drawled.

She wanted this guilt to go away. She didn't want to feel anything; she just wanted it to be fine again. "They're running from you, they're desperately trying to end the war, trying to win," she whispered she had twisted the truth with a little white lie. He didn't have to know about the Horcruxes or anything like that but he had an answer. He laughed darkly.

"Running from me, trying to win, ha, Potter is more brainless then I thought," The other death eaters laughed in response. Hermione felt boneless, she fell back onto the chair and stared at the walls of Malfoy Manor. What was she going to do, now? Her mind went blank. Even her knowledge failed her. She lifted a shaky hand to her hair and tugged away the stray strands that had a mind of their own. She felt one pair of eyes on her and met them. She met gray eyes. Draco saw her as the broken girl that she was, tracks of tears stained her cheeks and she was starting to get red blotches from all of the emotions, her hair was bushy as ever and her eyes were just transparent. They showed all of her conflict, her sorrow, her confusion, her anger, her shock. He moved his eyes away. Hermione scoffed. God was he so ashamed that he couldn't even look into her eyes for more than a few seconds? What did he think when he looked at her? Did he hate himself that he supported the cause that had wrecked her? Did he feel pity, remorse, anger? Did he feel anything at all? Or was he just as heartless as the rest of them in this room?

Once the laughter died down Voldemort looked at her again. "Well, Potter won't get away from me this time," he hissed

"Why do you want to kill Harry?" she knew the answer already but a part of her wanted to hear it from him and she wanted to gain enough time to think of a plan.

"I'll satisfy your annoying curiosity Miss Granger and tell you," he chuckled "It all began with a prophecy, which I am sure you are already aware of, which says that there was a boy that had the power to kill me. So I did what any other man would do and eliminated the possibility. When I got there I was thwarted by a mere baby and reduced to nothing more but a powerless shard of humanity. I bided my time, built up my strength and had to take a vessel to survive and ever since I have gone out of my way to be the cause of Potter's downfall to make him pay for what he did to me."

That was a very short explanation of the inner workings of Voldemort's mind. "You're scared of death," Hermione realised.

Voldemort's cold eyes met hers; she could see the boiling anger within them. Death was the one thing that he was afraid of that was why he made his many Horcruxes to ensure his immortality that was why he strived to kill Harry because he knew that it was prophesised that one of them would kill the other. He had to make it that he killed Harry because he was scared of the other possibility. "How dare you say that, how dare you think that you know me mudblood," he spat

"I know that you're a Half Blood, which is kind of hypocritical..." she whispered so that only he could hear. She knew that she was toeing the line here but why not? She was going to die anywhere, she had convinced herself that she wouldn't see Harry and Ron again, she didn't deserve to after she had killed that man. Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a voice that screamed otherwise it told her to keep believing, to maintain hope but what was the point? They won't let her escape with her life intact. After all she liked this feeling – the feeling of being reckless. It was a fun ending to her damned and bleak tale. Voldemort was visibly shaking in anger and he was going to erupt in 3...2...1.

"Bellatrix!" he screamed and she jumped from her chair. What was this? Why was he calling on her? She was his most loyal death eater so he wouldn't harm her. Bellatrix almost ran towards her master and presented something to him, she fell to her knees and handed him a wand? Bellatrix then smirked to her from her position. When she was dismissed she hurried back to her seat and muttered a quick 'it was my pleasure,' in a seductive tone. Oh God that was disgusting Bellatrix had the hot's for Volde... Hermione felt a little bit of bile rise further up her throat. Hermione looked at the wand in Voldemort's hand and... Oh Merlin.

"You know what this is, don't you Miss Granger?" He said

"..." she did know what it was, it was her wand. They had got her wand and they could do anything with it, cast an unforgivable and send her to Azkaban or worse snap it. She was in their mercy now.

"Well I don't think you'll need it," Voldemort said and within a second he turned it horizontal, placed two hands on either side and snapped it. Hermione looked at it in dismay, the splinters of the vine wood and the remains of the dragon heartstring. She had been told that wands were mysterious and complex and not many could fully understand them but she knew the effects of what had just happened. Snapping a wand was symbolic of being banished from the Wizarding World, used by the Ministry to exile Wizards to the Muggle world. Snapping a wand on purpose meant being reduced to a muggle status, Hermione wasn't bothered about that, she grew up a muggle of course, but to other Wizards she would be at the bottom of the food chain; especially to the death eaters. Snapping a wand meant not having something to channel her magic, it would all be harder to perform a spell. Wandless magic was something she had never learnt.

She held her head up and looked at Voldemort. "Now you know what it is like to feel powerless and having to bide your time but time is something that you no longer have mudblood," he spat and Hermione sat perplexed what did that mean? Voldemort raised his head to look at his assemble of death eaters and raised his voice. "Miss Granger here is to be executed tomorrow." Hermione's blood went cold.

"It will happen with a simple Avada Kedavra," She had no time left, "It will be public," she didn't have the chance to prepare and plan "It will happen in Diagon Alley where everyone can see it," She would never see her family and friends again and although she had prepared herself for it now it was set in stone "Everyone will know that Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of our age, a third of the Golden Trio is dead at the hands of Lord Voldemort," she was going to die.

She couldn't believe it. It suddenly felt like she was plunged into freezing cold water. Everything else was blocked out and the only thing she could hear was I'm going to die, I'm going to die tomorrow I'm going to die. She missed the remark about her death bringing out Harry and the statement that sources in the Ministry will print it in the Daily Prophet and everyone will know by the end of that day. She was going to die. She knew she was going to at some point but didn't know that it would happen so soon, she didn't even get to finish school. However she did get that it would happen at noon tomorrow so she had till then to come to terms with the fact that she was going to die.

Voldemort looked at the broken expression on Hermione's face and spoke gleefully "Well mudblood you must be hungry, so everyone is dismissed and we'll let the Malfoy family have their dinner," Everyone started to shuffle about. "I suppose that this will be your last supper," he chuckled to Hermione and got up. Hermione felt a little bit strange that he had used a Muggle reference but she supposed that he was a Muggle before he found out about his magic at age 11. Before he left he hauled her up and deposited her to a seat opposite to the Malfoy's so that they could keep an eye on her and then he bound her feet to the chair.

When the dinner was being served she kept her eyes fixated onto the floor. She didn't want to look at the table where, although the remains of the man had been moved, she knew the murder took place haunting her and teasing her with the very sight of the clean table. She didn't want to look ahead in case she met the eye of someone and she didn't want to look at anyone. Dinner came and she just simply looked up, she stared and what would otherwise be a lovely dinner to her everything looked like tasteless filth to her. Her stomach just couldn't take it. "You need to eat dear," She looked up to Narcissa worrying over her. Now why would she worry? She knew that she could easily die from dehydration or starvation but she was going to die anyway, what was the point?

"Mother may I be excused?" the drawl of Draco Malfoy came,

"No Draco, I know you've spent the last couple of days eating in your room but this is the first time you've eaten with your family and we have a guest," His mother was clearly the boss of him because he grumbled and slumped further down his seat but one glare from his mother made him straighten again. Narcissa kept looking at her and she met her gaze trying to convey her feelings over to the older woman.

"If he doesn't want to eat here, then he doesn't have to dear," Lucius Malfoy was totally different from the desperate figure that had lurched across to ensure that she didn't escape with Ron. He was calmly eating his meal while consulting a paper. Narcissa sighed but Draco still sat at the table picking at his meal and shoving torn up pieces around his plate.

"Granger eat something," Draco said looking at her but she didn't move one inch. He sighed and leaned over the table to get a bowl and began to ladle soup into it, he fetched two slices of bread, buttered them, and then poured some pumpkin juice to give her. "The sooner you eat something the sooner you get out of this room," he stated and watched as she picked up a spoon and ate a small amount. "Plus it is your last meal you may as well enjoy it," he said and leaned back into his chair.

"How can I enjoy this, Ferret?"

Draco didn't even flinch at the nick name but just calmly replied "Think back on your life, Weasel and Potty, your studies, the time you punched me in the face, your family," his mouth quirked up at the event of their Third Year. She didn't smile. She just ate silently and thought. At first she didn't think of her life but she thought about the Malfoy's. They had lost their rank in the death eaters after Draco had not been able to kill Dumbledore and Snape had to do it for him, shame had settled on their family. The family probably had tried to keep their lives by trying to get back into the Dark Lords graces by offering their house as his headquarters and doing everything they could to please him. After that she thought on her life, she was glad that she had sent her parents away because they wouldn't have to feel the guilt of losing their child, now they didn't even know her.

As she ate her meal she realised that she was truly broken, she had sold a version of the truth and felt like a book to be prodded and examined but why did she feel so empty?

The man appeared out of nowhere, watching the lone figure contemplating just a few inches ahead of him. The other person, the boy, was standing in front of the entrance to the cellar but he didn't have the heart to enter. "You could easily be... caught," the signature pregnant pause gave the man's identity away; Severus Snape watched the boy whirl around and stammer. "You wanted to see her one last time before... she died?" he questioned him and watched as the boy nodded. "Draco..." he murmured and the boy caught his meaning,

"All of these years I've been cruel to her but I've never wished death upon her, I don't want her to die."

"You can't go against the Dark Lord's wishes Draco... you are already in his bad books," Snape moved forward to clap a hand on the boys shoulder with the intent of steering him away from the cellar into a more quiet place where they could talk freely. But the boy shrugged him off and moved into the cellar. Reluctantly, Snape moved after him. His reasons were that he wanted the well being of his god child but also because he wanted to see the girl, he had been told the story once he had arrived but wanted to see his ex student because... well, he had his own reasons but they were personal. Once they entered they both gazed at the sleeping girl, it wasn't evening yet but it was so dark down there that it may have well been night. The girl had been reattached to the shackle and it looked like she had tossed and turned on the worn mattress to find a temporary peace. He could see the tear tracks on her cheeks, the snapped remains of her wand lay nearby and the girl trembled ever so slightly, Draco wondered what nightmares plagued her?

"I never wanted any of this," Draco whispered into the darkness,

"I want... never gets Draco," his God father replied, Draco just rolled his eyes, like that was helpful to his case. They looked at the girl some more, all throughout the years Draco had been learnt to hate her, but it was also the almost stuck up, intelligent attitude that she carried that annoyed him. Because of her he had been ridiculed by his father for not being the best. Because of her he wasn't what he was supposed to be. But after hearing her screams he realised that he couldn't blame her for every one of his problems.

"You didn't hear her screams, her pleads, or the things that were planned for her." Draco sighed and stared even more intently at the slumbering girl,

"I may have not... but I can imagine. A girl of her status does not face well when in the company of the people we assert ourselves with,"

"Her status..." Draco was starting to think what was the point of all of this? To sacrifice countless loved ones and companions all in the name to get control, to perfect a race that was doing just fine. Were all of those upcoming deaths worth it? Draco didn't know the answer to that but knew that he would find out in the upcoming days and weeks.

"You are not thinking about what I think you are... are you?" Snape hissed, was his god child so stupid? Why did he want to do this now? Draco didn't answer but his pity filled eyes said it all. "We have not got time for this," Snape had to lower his voice again because the girl began to stir; she turned a little but didn't awaken. Hermione Granger had always shown such pride and confidence when faced with danger but now she looked like a shadow of what she once was, she was terrified and broken.

"What are your... reasons for this?" Snape whispered cautiously,

"Damn it Snape I am not just doing this for her!" Draco whisper yelled and Snape signalled for him to be quiet, Granger did not flicker this time though. "I am doing it for me too!" Draco began to fume, his body vibrating with his anger. "I am sick of being a puppet, and that is what I am, first to my father and now he has passed the strings to the Dark Lord to play with," Draco turned away from Hermione, as if the mere sight of her was simply too much to bear. "I am a coward for staying here and taking everything,"

"No one said that you... were a coward,"

"I am a coward no longer," Draco clenched his fists.

Snape steered his god child out of the cellar and hauled him up the stairs until they arrived in Draco's room, he shut and locked the door behind him. "Muffliato," he whispered the spell he had invented himself to avoid any one listening in on them. "Are you thinking about betraying the Dark Lord," he demanded in a whisper.

He knew all about the subject, he had been fooling the leader for long enough but he remembered the paranoia and the struggle when he first began. Avoiding his suspicion was hard to do. His god child just nodded. Snape sighed. "How long have you been thinking about it?"

"Since the end of sixth year," he mumbled, Snape was surprised Draco had been thinking about it for that long, "You know I never wanted to take the Mark but I had to and then when I couldn't – "he stumbled over his deed of refusing to kill Dumbledore "You know, I just didn't want to do it anymore, Granger being torture just made it official," He looked at his God Father for advice. He knew that Snape had been spying for both sides of the war, of course no one else knew about it but if he was serious about this then he was going to need help.

Snape sighed, "What are your plans?" he murmured. Draco hadn't really thought about it that deep,

"To get Granger and get out of the Manor,"

"That's it!" Snape cried glad about the spell he had casted "You are going to get killed if you don't think Draco," Draco said a quick 'hey' at the insult but otherwise stayed silent. Snape gripped his shoulders, "You have been practising your wandless and silent magic haven't you?" he needed to make sure that his God Child would come out of this mission alive.

"Yes fortunately, it will come in handy now that Potter stole my wand," he grumbled because of Potter he no long had a wand and he didn't want to borrow any ones else's and put them at further risk of death.

"You may as well have given your wand to Potter willingly Draco with the way you're feeling," Snape said harshly but then he complimented on his skill of memory and doing what he was told for once. "Good that will help you on your escape," he sighed "If you are discovered you are going to have to protect not only yourself but also Granger who will be weak and defenceless," Draco nodded along storing it in his memory for later. "You will have to be on your guard at all times and probably do a lot of spell work to ensure some cover from prying eyes,"

"It's a lot of work," Draco mumbled.

"I know it is but you want to escape and also help Granger... leaving her here will be much more beneficial for you,"

"I am not leaving her! She is going to die tomorrow if I don't help it and I do not want more blood on my hands," Draco cried.

"Hush hush, alright you're taking her," Snape sighed "You will do all of this at night so you are not so easily seen, once you are safe you are going to apparate to this location," He wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to him, "And you are going to come out of this alive," He gathers Draco into a rather hesitant hug but it was needed to boost Draco's confidence for tonight's mission. They talked about it a little more and then Snape felt that they had been in the room for long enough, if they had been seen it would soon become suspicious on what they were doing. "You are going to practice some spells and then you are going to go to bed and get some rest because you'll need it. Plan a specific time on when you are going to do it and plan, plan, plan you are not going to get killed just because you didn't second guess or plan for a mishap," Snape sternly said, "Good luck,"

"I'm going to need it," Draco whispered and Severus Snape whirled out of the room and left Draco alone with his thoughts. He could not leave Granger to the hands of the Dark Lord and to the hands of Death. He was doing this for her and for himself too. He was going to free her if it was the last thing he ever did.