A Young Boy No More
By Raekitty13
Disclaimer: dun dun daaaaa ... Presenting to you J. M. Barrie... NOT!
Author's Notes: Yeah, this took FOR ever and I really must apologize! Then I have to thank all of you who reviewed for my last chapter! Special shout outs go to my following, amazing reviewers: Icefox, The First Lost Girl, Samalamadingdong, -BeeVee-THEEAmazing, BITEMENOTHERBITEME, Passion Fire and Firefairie93!!! Omg, you guys are truly the best of the best! What would I do with out you? Again, I'm sorry about the updating , its horribly slow! Oooo before I forget, this chapter is going to start out in Peter's POV...
Chapter Twelve- So Right Yet So Wrong
"Where could she have gotten to?" Looking around I couldn't even tell which direction she had taken once she had straightened out her path. "Tink, do you think she's okay? With the Never Land in such chaos- she could get hurt at any twist or turn! Plus Hook's ghost is still stalking us, and-!"
"Pan, get a hold on yourself, would you?" Tanya demanded.
I glared at her. "Who are you again?"
Tanya rolled her eyes, smiling slightly, "Great-grandma Wendy always said you were forgetful. But really, you've forgotten already? I just told you six minutes ago! Honestly, how can you remember that you're still looking for Jessica?"
I felt my face flush six shades of red. Wendy. Staring down at my feet, I could feel those stupid, irrational tears creeping up on me. Why did thinking about her hurt so much? It's not like I actually loved her. Love was an adult feeling and I am a boy, a little boy.
-- Beginning of flashback--
"You too, Peter."
"Will they send me to school?"
"Yes."
"Then an office?"
"I suppose so."
"Soon I shall be a man." I paused slightly before shouting at her. "You can't catch me and make me a man!"
"Peter...: The look in her eyes...
"I want always to be boy and have fun."
"You say so but I think it is your biggest pretend."
-- End of flashback--
Adult feelings were, no are something I can't comprehend, and that's that! That's that.
"What else would I be doing in the middle of the jungle?" I spat at the girl. "I mean seriously! How could I forget I was looking for Jessica? And how are you NOT worried? Isn't she like your best friend?"
"She WAS my best friend. And then she invited me over to her house to get back at her dad's new girlfriend. We played pranks she created and when things went bad she totally blamed me to get out of trouble. She totally hates me and always had. To Jessica I was nothing more than a pity case ever."
"What makes you say that?"
"You aren't real! This is all a dream and I'm going to wake up in tears again because no matter how long or hard I dream of you coming to see me, coming to prove to all the idiots in my class that you are real; you'll never come. You never have and you never will. My family is nothing more than a gang of loonies!
"Why do my dreams have to torment me so? Why can't they simply except the fact that you are fake, that you don't exist outside of people's imaginations? Why do they have to keep reminding me of my constant need to grow up, to get away?"
"Perhaps they're warning you to slow down and live your life as a child while you still have the chance." I suggested.
"So you're admitting this is a dream?" she demanded.
"No."
"Why won't you just say it! This is a dream! Come on, Peter, say it with me; this is a dream."
This was getting out of hand. I stopped and spun around on my heel. Making a fist with my hand I hit her arm as hard as I could. "You tell me, is this a dream?"
"Oww..." she sobbed.
"Tell me, does it generally hurt when you get hit in dreams?" I turned and walked away, in search of Jessie once more.
"Generally people don't strike me in my dreams." she replied through gritted teeth, following me all the same. "I really can't see why you're so worried about Jess. Didn't she hit you?"
"I hit you harder than she hit me and yet here you are, tagging along after me!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, but unlike you I have no choice in the matter. I either follow you or get lost."
"I thought this was a dream. There for if you get lost, you can just wake up and find yourself in bed, not lost at all."
"I-I haven't been able to wake up yet." She admitted, finally it was beginning to sink in.
I wasn't sure what her problem was exactly but she really needed an attitude adjustment! And then Jessie, she seemed so depressed. She needed to reach out to someone and she knew it and yet, every time she did so she recoiled so violently. Something about her was almost suicidal. I have to find her.
"Tink! Go back and get the Lost Boys, we need everybody's help to find Jessie!"
"She's not going to like you calling her that." Tonya sneered.
"Why is that?" Maybe this was the break through I was looking for.
Suddenly her face was contorted in pain almost beyond my understanding. ⌠Her mom called her that,■ she whispered.
Her mom CALLED her that, Jess's mother was dead. No wonder... Wendy had told me that she would have cried too if she didn't have her mother..
What would Jessie do with out her mother?
I had to find her...
(author's note: pov switch back to Jessica)
"Okay, Okami, what now?"
It had begun to sprinkle and I was sure it was going to end in a massive down poor in less than five minutes. I really didn't feel like walking, or getting drenched. Why did the world hate me?
Thunder clapped in the sky as Okami replied, "Erm, perhaps if we like started yelling at the top of our lungs someone will hear us."
"Sounds like a plan." But did I really want Peter to find me? Could I seriously betray him like that? But if I didn't... and well, I could be saving the Never Land. After all, what kind of super hero would Peter be without a super villain to out smart every six minutes?
"PETER!" His name escaped from my lips of its own accord.
"PETER!" It sounded so desperate.
"PETER!" Suddenly, his name brought vivid mental images. His hair- his golden, wavy, extremely cute hair. His brilliant, radiant, loving, caring, forgiving, green eyes. His heart pumping, show stopping, eye popping, mouth watering smile.
"Peter?" By this time I was heavily leaning against a tree, sopping wet. When it had begun to rain I didn't know. Why I couldn't stand was a mystery as well.
And yet, as my body was running on auto pilot, the voice I heard ringing through my voice was a recognizable as the tops of my feet. The sent I smelt all around me, it was his. He was here, and yet, he wasn't.
Damn that stomach lurching, heart stopping, nose tickling smell. Curse that merry, nonchalant, melodic, inspirational, heart fluttering laugh. "...Pe..ter..."
"PETER!" A stronger voice was joining mine in my heart filled call to the man of my dreams. To the boy I was about to kill.
"No... please no." I tried to plead.
"PETER! HURRY, MATE! I THINK SHE'S ABOUT TO PAS-" the voice suddenly went quiet.
Good, now it wouldn't be able to call out to Peter. It wouldn't be able to let me betray the only human who didn't hate me... yet. God, why was it so dark?
"-Essie? Je...?" someone was calling my name.
Mom?
Was I dead? Had I died before I had betrayed Peter; before resurrecting Hook? So this is what death was like...
It was rather warm and dry. It was comforting, almost as if it was meant to be. Me in the hands of death. At the thought I shivered. But this shiver, it wasn't out of fright. It wasn't because I was completely weirded out.
"-ssica? ...Okay?" The voice. It wasn't feminine. It was masculine, slightly high pitched for a guy but masculine all the same. Kinda like a teen before he hit puberty, slightly gruff but still too high pitched to be natural. "Guys, I think she's coming around."
I felt the person holding me shift my weight slightly and the shiver ran the length of my back once again.
"Peter."
His name had left my mouth once again, all on its own. It sounded so right.
"I'm here." He pulled me closer.
I wrapped my arms around his neck involuntarily. "Peter."
"Hey, are you okay?"
My heart fluttered, skipping a few too many beats in such a short moment.
He cared. He really cared whether or not I was okay. He was holding me, something someone hadn't done in what felt like a long time. And yet, how right it felt to be in his arms, my guilt made it feel just as horrid. His body warm with comfort was now hot with vengeance. His arms that had been cradling me before were now pinning me.
"Jessie," His voice was soft, caring, yet prodding. "Why didn't you tell me about your mother?"
His words, how ever kind their intent stung at me worse than nettles.
"Peter, where's Tink?" someone asked.
How dare he call me Jessie?
"She's still out searching. Call for her." Peter answered.
How dare he demand of me to tell him of my sorest wound?
"TINK! TINKER BELL!" Many voices were calling out for Peter's fairy but I didn't notice.
How dare I betray him like I was bound to; like I had to?
"Peter, she's not coming..."
His last sentence to me gave me what I needed to wound him enough to not hurt him in the end. I took a deep breath and prepared to emotionally push him away yet again. I couldn't get emotionally involved with him. I was his enemy, he mine.
"WHY SHOULD I HAVE TOLD YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?" I shouted at him, shoving myself away from him physically. "And don't ever call me Jessie."
I was preparing to run off again but the strangest sight I've ever seen stopped me dead in my tracks.
Author's Notes: I'm really sorry it took me so long to update this. I really hope to get the next chapter out a bit quicker! I think I'm on a role and a slight Peter Pan high at the moment. What would really boost my spirits would be a couple of reviews, though. lolz. Thanks for reading, reviewing and being so patient with me! ... omg, I need word or something fan fic likes... I just had to go through and replace basically allll symbols and bold/italics/everything else alll over again... does anybody have any suggestions? Perferably something free that won't kill my computer...