Author's Notes: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry for the late and overdo update. I hope I still have a few readers out there. School was brutal but I'm officially a college graduate with an English degree and I work... at a convenience store. So, my goal is to upload a chapter a night, either to this story or one of my other long overdo work in progress stories. Again, sorry. Hope you enjoy!

A Run-In with the Hatter~

"He's mad as a box of frogs!"

~Syfy Channel's Mini Series "Alice"

Margaret ran for her life, and for Alice's, as the Card Sharks closed in behind her. They seemed to crawl out of the stacks of books flat but quickly gaining dimension, tumbling down, down, down…

Up ahead the clockwork Mr. Mouse jumped out from behind the huge hourglass that seemed to be oozing black tar. She tried to side-step at the last moment and he grabbed her around the waist, swinging her around dangerously close to the edge of the table. His joints whirred and clicked and squeaked, a morbid façade of what he should have been.

"No! Let go of me!" Margaret screamed, kicking out and elbowing as best she could. But clockwork doesn't feel pain nor emotion. She screamed and bit and cried, panicking. She could see the Card Sharks were nearly upon them and Mr. Mouse hoisted her up over his shoulder to bring her to meet them. As he did so, she caught sight of a keyhole in his back, just behind a large gear. Of course!

She fumbled to get her arms around to the chain at her waist and pulled. It fell away easily into her hand and she quickly pulled it around, inserting the key into it's back and giving a hard turn. It was immediate; the entire thing shut down, it's arms still clamped around her waist. She wriggled until she slipped free and tumbled to the floor, just inches from the edge that fell away into unknown darkness. She clamored up again.

"Right." She said, turning every which way. "Where do I go? Where should I go?"

The key burned in her hand and she quickly wrapped it once more at her waist. Directly ahead of her was a large picture of a house and to her right, a book with a tea party set up on it's cover. Her feet ran towards this one, seeming to recall something Alice said about the tea being much more helpful than the tiny cottage- the home of the White Rabbit. With the Cards right behind her, she tripped into the cover of the book, floating down through the type in that weird way Wonderland has.

"Yeah, just take care not to glance down." She whispered to herself. She looked up instead, fearful the Cards had followed her, but something seemed to stop them from entering the book. She could see weird indents forming in the sky overhead every time one tried to force it's way. "It must have something to do with the key."

She spent a good deal of time floating down and so she tried to occupy herself with reading the words that wafted by. A lot of emotion words seem to come up… as well as tea. Lots of tea. Earl Grey, Peppermint, Ginger, Chamomile, Cinnamon…

"I must be in a story about Alice's friend the Hatter. It would make sense, what with the picture of the tea party on the cover and all…" She glanced around annoyed. "You know, I spend more of my time just floating in midair than I do actually journeying anywhere to save my sister!"

She made the mistake of glancing down as she said this. Thankfully, she had just about reached the bottom as she found herself suddenly thrown at the ground as if in disgust. She quickly stood, fixing her skirts impatiently, only to find they'd changed from her original light blue to something red plaid with her hair free floating in an even wilder fashion than before. The few ribbons she'd managed to hold on to were gone.

She caught sight of herself in an oversized saucer and frowned. The dress barely grazed her knees and had no sleeves but two slim straps to hold it up. "If Scotsmen wore sundresses, I'd look like a Scotsman. Still have my boots though… small favors."

She then began to wander down the lane, puzzling over the curiosity that was the surroundings. Everything was in black and white and varying shades of grey. It was rather depressing and only added to her earlier trepidation about her sister. Even the flowers were grey here… she touched one a little sadly, only to jump back when it sprung to a violent shade of pink without warning.

"Curiouser and curiouser…" She quoted her sister, running her hands over the whole bush. Immediately it sprang to colorful life and it began to spread to the surrounding ones- at least the ones in the area behind her and where her feet touched. Everything ahead remained sad and morose. "Well, best to go onward, then!"

She trudged along, admiring the colors that sprang in her wake. The flowers cycled through all the colors of the rainbow, as she'd seen an odd contraption do once at her friends house. If you wound it up and stuck a candle behind it, bits of colored glass on the turning wheel cast their vibrancy about the room. This had a more magical quality to it, the colors fading seamlessly into each other as they danced along behind her.

Up ahead she could make out a tiny garden gate and beyond that a long table laid out with several plates. She hastened to it, hoping the Hatter and his friends would be somewhat helpful. At the table however, she found just one figure, slumped over his cup so that only the top of his grey hat was visible.

"A-are you… the Hatter?" She asked, suddenly losing her confident nerve. There was a twitch of movement and her hand flew to the key now secured at her back as if to hold the black ribbon belt in place. She watched him very carefully, wondering if he'd have a keyhole on his back like Mr. Mouse had. He sat up with jerky movements, color quickly filling in his features. He didn't look as Alice had described but then again, her description of him always varied upon each trip she seemed to take.

His hair wasn't vibrant orange like the last story, nor was he three feet tall as in her first adventure. No, he was normal height- at least, Margaret thought it was normal height, since she'd changed so much- but Chess had said he'd returned her to just a little shorter than usual and this figure looked as if he'd stand maybe a few inches taller. His hair was a sort of reddish brown- so the red was still slightly present- and his eyes seemed black, gazing at her out of his pale face. He frowned a little surreptitiously.

"Alice?" He demanded as if already knowing the answer to be no.

"Um, no… I'm Margaret." She replied anxiously. He straightened, his movements suddenly fluid and human. He sighed and began to pick at lint on his sleeve.

"Well, I wasn't expecting a Margaret. I'm expecting an Alice, who's late for tea again!" He replied, his voice rising slightly on the accusation.

"Well, it's not surprising really, is it?" Margaret offered up. He glanced up at her confused and she sat at the opposite end of the table, still very far from him. "I mean, she's been kidnapped, remember? I'm here to get her back."

"Alice? Kidnapped? Impossible! She's the best fighter Wonderland's got." The Hatter chuckled. Margaret frowned.

"Well even the best can be caught unawares." She snapped.

"Would you care for a spot of tea?" He asked suddenly and she found the table shrinking, drawing her closer so that she was a mere few feet from him. She noted his nose turned up kind of like a rabbit's and that he had rather large front teeth as he spoke. Anyone else would look odd… he just looked natural.

"Um, no. I was wondering if you might be able to help me." She answered.

"Tell me something-" He began, attempting to pour tea into an empty cup as if he hadn't heard her. He stopped, puzzled and peeked inside. Then he reached his be-thimbled hand in and pulled out a large mouse. "Dormouse- been at the chamomile again?"

The brown mouse simply hiccupped then went about snoring face down in the butter with it's butt in the air. The image was so comical that Margaret giggled behind her hand. The Hatter seemed to have noticed, his eyes flew to her face, strangely brilliant green.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" He demanded and for a moment Margaret worried she'd offended him. He smirked. "You should see Marchie's floor show."

"Marchie?" Margaret repeated and as if on cue a twitching brown rabbit appeared from inside a house shaped like a tea kettle. He began a sort of can-can across the field towards the table before promptly tripping and sliding across it face first, knocking the dormouse into Margaret's lap in the process. Margaret chuckled at that.

"Ridiculous!" She scolded, gently setting the dormouse back on the table. Hatter immediately reached forward and scooped him into the teapot. She fanned herself a little with her hand, glancing about at how the steam seemed to rise from the ground rather than the tea. "It's awful hot around here, isn't it?"

"'Fraid there's nothing to be done about that. Take what we can get." Hatter replied calmly.

"Pity." She replied with a wistful frown.

"What did you say you were again?"

"What?" She repeated, confused.

"Yes, exactly." He nodded. He caught the blank expression on her face and leaned forward, looking entirely bored and at ease. "Well, you're not an Alice, we've established that. And you don't look like March Hare or Dormouse or myself. Certainly no Queen of Hearts- no offense. So… what are you?"

"You're not clockwork like the rest of them." She realized and his eyes softened to a sort of golden. He settled back in his seat, studying her over his steepled fingers, waiting. She cleared her throat and said, "I'm Margaret. I'm Alice's sister and she's been kidnapped. I need to see the Red Queen-"

"Well, that's where you lost it right there." Hatter said, getting up and strolling away. "You're as mad as us, it's no wonder you're still a Margaret and not some robotic contraption-"

"So you have noticed Wonderland is in trouble!"

"Yes." He said simply, shrugging.

"And you're just going to sit here and drink tea?" She demanded, incredulously.

"Yes." He repeated with another shrug. She shook her head in disgust and got up to leave. Suddenly, straps appeared, wrapping around her wrist. She glanced up, frightened.

"What are you doing?" She demanded. Hatter said nothing, his gaze focused on a patch of violets by his feet. Margaret struggled harder. "Hatter, let me go! Get these things off of me!"

His eyes were glowing red when he focused on her again. "You're not Alice then what are you?"

"I told you- I'm Margaret!"

"I've never heard of a Margaret!" He hissed. "What is that? Some clever new clockwork machine that looks like a real person? I mean, you wear expressions so fluidly for crying out loud! Not a gear in sight! Where did you come from?"

"From Alice's world!" She tried to explain.

"Ah- you heard her, you heard it yourself!" The hare cried excitedly, jumping up and down and pointing at her. Hatter pulled a pair of tailor scissors from his belt and aimed them at Margaret's throat. The hare began to giggle maniacally.

"This is Alice's World… which leads me to believe you're another polluted piece of infestation to it!" The Hatter hissed darkly, pressing the scissors to her throat. Margaret gulped, feeling her eyes well up in terror. "Now, if I cut your throat will you shed motor oil?"

"Hatter, please…" She begged in a whisper. A tear escaped the corner of her eye and slid down her cheek as she stared up at him pleadingly. His eyes cooled from fire red to an ice blue. "Please, don't do this… let me go find my sister, that's all I want. Please…"

He pulled the scissors away and stepped back, much to the protests of the Hare. He put them back in his belt before turning to his companion. "She's human, Marchie. Those things don't cry tears… and if I'm not mistaken, Alice did mention some sort of sister…"

The straps that had held her wrists immediately disappeared away and she massaged her arms, casting glares up at the man who'd just tried to kill her. She then stood and turned to leave. "Well, I can see you won't be much help at all. I'll just go save her myself. This was a mistake."

"Wait." Hatter ordered and she listened, if only because she was worried he'd start brandishing the scissors again. He looked up at her a bit sheepishly. "I got to be on my guard, don't I? I mean, those things are everywhere… crawling. It's maddening."

"Oh? And you, as a mad person are able to judge maddening from sane, right?" She turned on her heel to stalk off in a huff.

"Come back." He tried, before jogging to her instead. "Look, those things know all the basics, yeah? I mean, they know to laugh, they know to wear basic expressions. The one thing they can't do is cry- cause they've got no tears now, do they? What was I supposed to do?"

"How about trust me?" She replied, folding her arms. "None of the bad things have gotten into your little tea party yet, have they? What would make me so special?"

"Yeah, how did you get in here, anyway?" He demanded, scratching his head under his hat. He seemed to think of something and produced another hat from out of nowhere. "Oh, here. Want to watch your head in this heat- liable to burn."

He gave the hat a little tap from emphasis after placing it on her head and gave her a weird smile. She rolled her eyes but reached behind her back to grab the key. The ribbon seemed to melt away from it at her touch, without letting go of it's knot around her waist. She plucked the key free and turned it over in her hands so it caught the light. "Chess said to hang on to it- that it was the best weapon I've got."

"Chess sent you? And with the key? Oh, blimey hell- why didn't you mention all that before I strapped you to the chair? Would have saved me an awful lot of work." He said, slapping a hand to his forehead. She shot him a dark glance, causing him to cough awkwardly. "Right. Sorry… um, so you're the one supposed to rescue Alice? I don't know why but I pictured someone… taller… and much more… you know, man-like."

"This entire world belongs to my little sister and you don't think I can do anything to help her?" Margaret demanded incredulously. She tucked the key back into her belt. "I take serious offense to that."

"Sorry! Sorry! It's just… well, you don't look the part." He said before continuing. "I mean, you're not bad looking- very, er, pretty… it's just that's not what this sort of thing calls for, is it?"

"Right. Well, I'm leaving, just point me the way to the Red Castle."

"Oh, you're not seriously going to go through with this." He demanded.

"Who else will?"

"Ugh… already bossy and right all the time…" He muttered. "Look, if you stay here just long enough for me to cook up a plan, I'll take you wherever you want to go, alright?"

"Why?"

"Because I have my orders." He replied, rolling his eyes. She slapped him for his troubles. "Ow!"

"That's really noble of you." She said sarcastically. One thing she did like about Wonderland: decorum was definitely not in effect anymore. She turned away from him and stalked back down the hill to the table.

"So, I suppose I should whip up some tea?" Hatter called after her. She didn't answer, instead opting to throw a tea cup at him, which he ducked easily. She would have worried over the broken china if she hadn't just seen Marchie throw an entire half-dozen of them against a tree.

The night passed quietly for Margaret, mainly due to the fact she refused to talk to anyone, too on edge about her current company and the fact she wasn't moving, trying to find Alice.

"Sometimes, standing still is more progress than you'd think." Came Chess's voice as he appeared at her side. "I suggest making friends with Hatter- he's a valuable ally, once you get passed the madness and the emotions stuff."

"Emotions stuff." She repeated flatly.

"Pay attention, Margaret." Was the only answer before he vanished again.

"Insufferable." She grumbled just as Hatter appeared at the door of the teapot house. Behind him she could see Marchie twirling and skipping, tossing something that looks suspiciously mouse shaped into the air. She waited with bated breath but he caught it safely.

"He wouldn't hurt a friend." Hatter offered, catching her glance. She said nothing, just put her chin into her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. Hatter seemed discouraged. "Right. Still not talking to me. I see how it is. So, if you're not talking to me, who are you talking to in here?"

"Chess stopped by. Told me to make friends with you." She said with a shrug.

"Chess was here? And he didn't have anything to say to me?" Hatter spluttered in disbelief. The look of hurt on his face, touched Margaret and she sat up, studying him carefully.

"Did you need to talk to him about something? I swear he never really has anything to say worth hearing. He usually just shows up to pick on me." She tried to sooth. Hatter shot her a look.

"Look, if you're going to survive in Wonderland, you got to learn to take the bruises to the ego, yeah? Sometimes, humor and criticism is the best balm and preparation. So get used to us mad people talking in circles." He said quickly, sitting beside her on the steps that led upstairs to the bedrooms. She squirmed to the edge and shot him sideways glances. "I'm just warning you- we're the least of your worries."

"I think Chess said something like that." She whispered back.

"He's a wise cat." Hatter agreed with a nod. She allowed a smile to play across her lips.

"You know, Hatter, maybe I should forgive you for trying to kill me." She said.

"Maybe you should. No, you definitely should. I mean, just taking safety precautions, yeah? And it wont happen again. I mean, if you run into that problem with any of the hideaways, just show them the key and mention Chess. You'll avoid the brunt of it, believe me."

"Right. Well, any ideas yet?"

"Knew there was something I was forgetting." He jumped up and left the house again, turning at the door to look at her. "You coming then?"

"Yeah, alright." She said finally, standing and following him out. It's how she found herself moments later, laughing and twirling with Marchie and Dormouse.

Syfy Hatter: That's it? That's your bloody fantastic upload?

Author: Hey, cut me some slack. I'm overworked and underpaid.

Mad Hatter: I've been considering things that begin with the letter E. Excuses. Error. Epitome. Eventual.

Author: Just pull the dictionary out while you're at it.

Mad Hatter: Eerie. Eventual.

Author: Stoppit!

Disney Hatter: Clean Cup, Clean Cup. Move down, move down, move down!