Diana had never felt it.

'It' being another term for what her childhood peers had called 'butterflies', (although this never made sense to her; butterflies couldn't survive in the stomach, the acid would burn them alive). A crudely simple word for the way that wealthy, teenage girls twirled their hair, tugged at their dresses, and giggled a touch too loudly whenever they spotted a man they deemed attractive at the oh-so-important party their influential, well-to-do parents dragged them to.

Diana never understood. These young businessmen, whose eyes would inadvertently find Diana across a sea of star-struck fawners, would always come to her, their voices low, their smiles saccharine, and their gazes searching; sometimes predatory. How the other girls would glare, as if their thoughts could maim; how many of them probably fantasized about ripping her apart. For some reason, she found that notion far more interesting than any of the men who attempted to court her. Those men were boring.

They would press their chapped lips to her knuckles and her eyes would glaze over as they rambled on about the same things; nepotism coated in business-jargoned terminology, masking the fact that they were all just spoiled daddy's boys in fancy clothes. Diana didn't care - she never did. And it wasn't because they were wealthy, (Diana never had to worry about money herself, she was more than aware of this privilege) rather it was the insufferable egotism they carried along with their status. The way they oozed of self-importance, believing that flattering words were all they needed for her to conveniently fall head-over-heels for them. It was transparent and, quite frankly, insulting to Diana's intelligence.

She was too smart, too determined, too proud to be another tittering sycophant. Shiny Chariot had lit a fire inside of her. Chariot gave her the strength to believe, even when she had thought she would never be able to perform magic. But that was the past, Diana knew what she was capable of now, and she had no patience for complimentary nonsense that meant nothing to her.

Diana didn't want to believe something else was wrong with her. Even as she grew older, still having no pull in her chest whatsoever, she refused to accept that something else was different.

Every word piled on another - indistinguishable mumbling - white noise. Had someone called her pretty? Mentioned her hair? It all fell emptily around her, like dead leaves from fall-time trees, drifting, waiting on the ground to be crushed under her feet. It didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Diana understood love, for she had loved her mother incomprehensibly. But her mother wasn't around anymore, nor had she been for a long time. This didn't mean she couldn't still feel her mother's love within her; that was something that had transcended time and existence - both life and death. However, aside from her mother, the feeling of love was not something Diana was well-acquainted with. Following her death, that emotion, along with many others, became distant to her.

Diana had never been in love, and she was beginning to wonder if she ever would be.

Then she had met Atsuko Kagari, and the foundations had quaked from underneath her; her entire core had been shaken around so recklessly, like marbles clacking in a bag, like bees violently buzzing in a jar. Everything became intangible and strange and it unraveled like loose thread between her fingers as every interaction between them brought Akko closer to her. In the secret hospital, the words of her mother echoed in her mind and it was then that she saw Akko through newly-opened eyes, something fluttered in her stomach for the first time. Something like butterflies.

She was in the secret hospital with Akko. She remembered. But now -

Now -

Now she is in the ritual room and the hiss behind her grows louder, all-encompassing; its rattling floods her ears. Her wand, the only thing that keeps her in control, is knocked out of her hand. She looks down at the snakes coiling around her ankles and her breath rushes out of her. Constricting her, a large snake wraps around her frame from behind and pushes all the remaining air from her lungs. Breathless, she shifts in and out of consciousness, in a daze, and spots a large mouse barreling toward her. It's Akko. She knows. Through her lowering lids, a large snake leaps in front of the mouse and snaps its mouth closed around her, in one moment, all too brief. She opens her mouth to scream, but no noise escapes her. The room is soundless, save for a tea kettle whistle ringing inside of her head. Wincing, her eyes close for a second before she opens them again. Akko's body lies face down, twitching in front of her, the sickly, violet hue of snake venom spreading across her skin. In desperation, she tries to move, but it's futile. Shutting her eyes again through her tears, the ring turns into a drone, and then into a scream. The scream is in her voice.

The high shrill causes the room to tremble around her, chunks of debris cascading from above. The snakes begin coiling around Akko, the sky falling- falling- falling-

"Akko! AKKO!"

Diana's upper body bolted up from her mattress, her face coated in sweat. She gasped in a breath of cool air and a soft sob escaped in her exhale. Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them and buried her head.

"No tears. No tears," she whispered. She kept her eyes closed tight and pushed her forehead against her arms. "Sh, sh, sh…"

Diana imagined what her mother would say then, when she had a nightmare, wiping the tears away and pulling her into an embrace that radiated with warmth and safety, looking into Diana's eyes and speaking in a voice that sounded like heaven: melodic harp strings, cottony soft clouds, edgeless, infinite.

Diana sought out that voice in her mind, grasping for it.

"Shh… there is nothing to fear."

She allowed her mother's voice to repeat and fill her ears, taking another large gulp of air. The words pressed against her back like a reassuring hand and wiped at her eyes. The sound embraced her just as her mother had all those years ago.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that Diana finally found the strength to stand up. Sunlight glared over her face from between the curtains and served her a merciless reminder of what she had to do today.

She needed to tell Akko something during their tutoring time.

She needed to tell Akko about her nightmares.

Studying with Diana, Akko thought.

In just a few minutes, Akko was going to be alone with Diana, just Diana… and a bunch of books. They were going to be within close proximity of one another for long periods of time, which was something that Akko totally didn't feel any certain way about and it totally wasn't an aspect of the evening that kept replaying in her brain. It definitely, most certainly was not the reason she kept pacing around her room, fiddling with the quills and papers on her desk. Akko had rearranged her stack of books six times. Sucy counted.

"Akko, I understand that you're a bit anxious," Lotte said from her desk, face buried behind her copy of Nightfall (Volume one-hundred and twenty-seven to be exact). "But maybe a walk around might be a better way to expend your nervous energy?" She looked up at her with a patient smile.

"Seven," Sucy said as Akko straightened out the books again.

Akko rolled her eyes and forced a laugh.

"Psh! I'm not nervous, Lotte! I'm just, er," Akko reached over to start touching her quills again, but retracted her hand when she heard Lotte clear her throat. "I was just… getting organized. That way, I can look at least a little prepared."

"I'm sure Diana will be very impressed when she sees you've arranged your books by color."

"Sucy!" Lotte chided.

Akko reeled, her eyes growing wide. "I- I didn't say anything about Diana!"

"You don't have to. It's written all over your face," Sucy retorted. "It's the same thing you do during flying practice: you get all funny when Diana gets invited-"

"Okay, that's enough teasing," Lotte stood up and shot a miffed look at Sucy, as if to say 'what the hell are you doing' before patting Akko's back. "Akko, remember, don't worry about not feeling smart enough. Diana isn't going to judge you."

Akko squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, still processing what Sucy had just said. Was she really that obvious? Duh, of course she was! Since when was she subtle about anything? Akko sighed, defeated.

"I'm just- ugh. I'm just not gonna... think at all. At least about, that kind of stuff…" Akko trailed off, her voice farther away. She scooped her supplies off of her desk and pushed her lips up into a small smile. "I'll be fine you guys. I swear! Finals have me all over the place, ahaha. Anyway, I better hurry, I don't want to be late."

Lotte's brows furrowed and she opened the door to let Akko out. They exchanged their goodbyes and Lotte hesitated, watching her friend leave, before shutting the door behind her. She closed her eyes and took a breath, before giving Sucy the most baffled stare she could muster.

"Why did you have to go and say that to her?" Lotte's voice raised only slightly, but enough to be loud for her standards. "Right before she has to go and meet Diana, of all people!"

Sucy leaned back in her chair.

"Because she has to figure it out at some point," Sucy said. "I'm just trying to nudge her into giving the situation more thought, even if it's a little mean."

"I thought we agreed to wait until she figured it out," Lotte huffed.

"Yeah, but I'm impatient," Sucy said with a smirk before dropping back into seriousness. "Besides, it's frustrating when she doesn't see what's right in front of her."

"Patience is exactly what Akko needs."

"Fine," she turned back to her desk. "I'll try to hold my tongue, but I can't guarantee things won't slip..."

"Sucy!"

Diana's room wasn't a far trek in the slightest, but Akko's legs may as well have been walking through water, as there was resistance in every step, growing heavier and heavier as she neared the familiar door down the hallway. She had braced herself for this last night, much to the annoyance of Amanda's crew (plus Hannah? She was still confused by that). The fact that she couldn't get her broom off the ground last night wasn't helping her wavering confidence either.

"I don't understand. I was able to hover a few feet last time."

"Maybe you're tired?"

"Maybe you're hungry?"

"Maybe your heart hurts?"

"..."

"Hannah, what the hell?"

"Err- sorry, ignore that!"

In retrospect, maybe Hannah's conclusion was the most appropriate after all, even if it came out of nowhere. Nevermind Amanda trying to brush Akko's lack of progress off as her being too stressed out about exams; it just didn't feel right. Last time she practiced, she flew, she remembered because everyone gasped and cheered - even Diana.

Diana.

That's right. She was there.

Akko shooed the thought away, waving at it like a pesky fly. With that, she rapped her knuckles against the door, balancing all her supplies in her other hand. There was a few moments pause, and Akko was already thinking of an escape plan. She could make an excuse: say she wasn't feeling well or that she had amnesia or that rogue fairies stole all her notes-

Suddenly, she heard a click from behind the door, followed by the low squeal of its hinges as it was slowly opened. It was then, that it dawned upon Akko, that she didn't have her friends with her this time, nor did Diana have hers. Just the two of them. Alone.

The first thing Akko noticed, when she forced her head up from her feet, was that Diana looked different. Breaking that thought down, there wasn't anything off about how Diana's hair fell or how her clothes always looked fresh and ironed. No. There was something about her eyes. A shadow fell underneath them, the skin was less taut.

"You're on time," Diana's sharp voice shattered through Akko's observation like glass; her attention was brought back. "I'm impressed. Come in."

Nodding her head a bit too eagerly, Akko stepped inside the room. It was eerily quiet without Hannah and Barbara chatting away on the sofa. Last time she remembered the room being this silent was when she had snuck in as Diana. Though, that memory didn't really serve her any good use at this moment, in fact it just reminded Akko that Diana was always expected to be knowledgeable about everything. If only turning into Diana made Akko just as good at everything too, then maybe it wasn't such a bad idea- that's so weird stop. Akko shook her head, as if to physically remove the doubts clouding her brain.

"Thanks again for agreeing to help me," Akko began, setting her books down on the nearby desk. "I know you're super busy and all-" she glanced over at Diana, who grabbed a book from her shelf, "s-so I appreciate it."

"It's no problem," Diana responded, placing a large, intimidating book on the desk, "I figured I could help you study while I do some researching of my own."

"Oh really? Like what?" Akko began to open the cover before Diana abruptly pushed it closed. Akko retracted her hand and bit her lip.

"Nothing you should concern yourself with," Diana's response was more curt than usual, and Akko was slightly taken aback. Diana changed her tone to her usual, soft one and sighed. "Anyway, what would you like to revise first?"

"Uh- well," she ran through the queue in her mind. "Linguistics has been giving me a lot of trouble recently." Akko flipped open her languages textbook to one of the pages she had bookmarked; an ancestral alphabet.

"Right, then," Diana sat down in her seat and motioned for Akko to sit next to her. Akko paused, gulped, and then obliged, making sure not to lean into Diana's workspace too much. "What do you know about this particular alphabet already?"

"Not much…"

"Alright, I want you to study this line of text here," Diana pointed to a sentence written in the ancient language. "Use the reference guide on the page prior. And when you finish, recite to me what it says."

Akko nodded. The instructions seemed simple enough, so she started scanning over the strange symbols. Diana watched her with focused eyes before switching her attention to the large book in front of her. Her fingers fiddled with the corner of the cover, tentative to open the book, dreading what she might discover. She moved her eyes between Akko and the book a few times before bracing herself and opening the book.

It was titled Dream Psychology.

Diana forced her eyes to the words, promising herself not to falter, not to dwell on the negative flashes of her dreams that would sporadically come to mind when she blinked or allowed her mind to wander. She needed to focus and understand what was happening to her. There had to be a more concise way of telling Akko she was having nightmares about losing her without it seeming too - too -

Diana struggled, sifting through her mental vocabulary.

Fragile? Tender? No.

Vulnerable.

The word was vulnerable. It clamped down on her brain and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up with a prickle. Echoing between her ears like ringing bells, sirens, and radio jingles blasting all at once, the word had made itself known and dug its roots down deep into the soil, planting itself firmly in her mind.