Amanda twirled her quill absently, watching the thick feather weave between her fingers.
Homework was a bust. She didn't have the patience to sit down and stare at words for hours like her other two roommates had miraculously managed to do. Really, she had tried (for a good five minutes). But Amanda considered herself a quick learner, in which, she quickly learned that reading was lame and there were more interesting things she could be doing instead.
Groaning a tad dramatically, Amanda pulled herself up from her bed and placed her quill on Jasminka's desk. She had hardly noticed Amanda's movement, as she had become quite engaged in whatever it was she was reading (Culinary Magic, no doubt), and crunching earnestly on pretzels from a package nearby. Constanze had retreated into her lab to study; the extra barrier between her and the others gave her the necessary privacy to focus on her work.
Amanda opened her mouth to speak and caught herself mid-breath. Oops. It would be rude to interrupt Jasminka just to tell her she was going out. She was considerate of her friends… sometimes. Instead she opted for using the gentle click of the door to cue that she was leaving.
Wandering down the hallway, Amanda folded her arms behind her head and ran through her mental list of all the things she could do. She supposed she could bother Sucy and Lotte; interrupting their private, serious conversations was always so entertaining to her. Bugging Akko wasn't an option, as she was studying with Diana this evening, which she had told, or rather, announced to their entire table during breakfast. Maybe Hannah and Barbara were free to pester, though, given how Hannah's mood had been the last time they hung out, she probably wouldn't appreciate Amanda butting into any time the two of them shared together.
Perhaps her thoughts could manifest physically, Amanda wondered, since as soon as she reached the doors to the courtyard she spotted Hannah leaning against one of the archway pillars, a couple of textbooks clutched to her chest. Once again, she looked deep in thought, her eyes more focused on the ground than anywhere else. With a slight tilt to her head, Amanda snaked through the other students and hurried over to her friend.
"Don't tell me," Amanda sidled up to her with a toothy grin. "Barbara's got you waiting around for her again."
A little startled, Hannah's head snapped up. Upon seeing Amanda, the surprise in her eyes diffused and she relaxed a bit, her lips turning up in a small, yet lacking, smirk, as if her mind was still a ways away.
"She's meeting me here, actually," Hannah said. "Since Diana told us to fend for ourselves today, I decided to study with Avery in her room." She shuffled her feet a bit and mindlessly shuffled her books. "I didn't really know how to tell Barbara I can't focus as well with her around, so I kinda made up an excuse. I dunno. It doesn't really make any sense why." Her mouth fell back into the slight frown that her face was becoming more accustomed to.
Amanda folded her arms, looking intently at her, and then smiled; this time, her grin was less mischievous, and appeared to lean more on the sympathetic side, the usual devious twinkle was missing from her pupils. She sighed, rolling her shoulders a bit and leaning her back against the pillar next to Hannah, her eyes looking absently at the students passing by.
"Since when do things ever make sense, huh?" Amanda joked, lightly nudging Hannah's side to get another smile out of her. "Logic is overrated anyway. Though, I'm sure Princess Cavendish would say otherwise."
Hannah snorted and swatted lightly at Amanda's shoulder.
"Don't be mean!" She attempted to sound serious, but the waver of an oncoming laugh gave her away.
"You say that, yet you laugh!" Amanda raised her eyebrows.
"Ah, well," Hannah caught her breath. "I really shouldn't. Diana's been a bit-" She paused, looking for the right words. "Preoccupied… mentally, I mean."
"Isn't she always?" Amanda said, earning herself another swat.
"Yeah, but, it's been different," Hannah said. "She hasn't been this withdrawn since the whole incident with her family." She shook her head. "Either way, I shouldn't be going on about it. I just worry. Once she retreats into that shell, it's... hard to reach her."
Cutting through the middle of the courtyard, Barbara spotted Hannah in the trickle of students outside. A couple more steps and she could make out Amanda standing right next to her. Strange. Since when did Hannah and Amanda hang out alone? Slowing her stride, Barbara's mouth twitched as she watched Amanda pat Hannah's shoulder, leaning over and saying something else to her, her mouth missing her usual troublesome quirk, more serious. Hurrying behind the Statue of Jessica before either of them saw her, Barbara pressed up against the stonework, peeking around the corner every so often with narrowed eyes.
"I noticed something off about Diana too - she was saying some really weird stuff yesterday," Amanda ran a hand through her hair, her eyes looking out ahead at nothing in particular. "I'm not really close enough with her to ask her about it."
"Yeah…"
"As for the Barbara thing…" Amanda shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "You might wanna talk to her."
"What do you mean?" Hannah inhaled a bit too sharply, turning her head to look at Amanda with a quirked eyebrow.
Amanda rolled her eyes. Her teeth poked back out from under her lips as her grin turned playful once more.
"C'mon, it's a little obvious, don't ya think?" Reaching over she ruffled Hannah's hair with her hand. Hannah scrunched her face in response, a mixture of confusion and embarrassment at her transparency when it came to her attitude toward Barbara.
Barbara, her stare sharper than any dagger, didn't notice her nails digging deep into her palms. Later she would see the marks, but her tunnel vision only kept the two girls in her focus, every other distraction faded away. She held her breath, watching Amanda have the audacity to touch her friend with the type of comfortability that was only shared between the two of them. Her mouth tightened into a straight line and something stung her. Not a bee sting, nor a spider bite. Something deep inside stung. It was strange and foreign and sickly. A sting, an ache, a burn; all the sensations stirred together and rose up from the bottom of her stomach to the back of her throat. Perhaps this was how snakes felt when they hissed and readied their fangs, but the urge to spit word-venom at Amanda, one of her new friends, didn't sit well with her. But the urge was there, nonetheless.
Amanda, unaware of the hidden eyes honed in on her every movement, threw her arm around Hannah's shoulders and leaned in to whisper into her ear.
"I know you're worried you'll muck up the friendship, but it's better than keeping it all bottled up. Trust me on this, okay?"
"I don't kn-"
"Trust me."
If Barbara had squinted any harder, she swore she could see Amanda's blazing orange hair brushing against Hannah's ear. Not like having her arm around her wasn't infuriating enough! The blood running through her muscles made it impossible for her to continue standing still. So she emerged, or rather marched, out from behind the statue toward the two of them.
"Oi, speak of the devil!" Amanda pulled away from Hannah and waved.
"B-Barbara," Hannah said, startled. She pushed up a smile to hide the immediate jump in her chest. Barbara's timing couldn't have been worse. Hopefully, she hadn't heard what they were talking about.
"Hi, Hannah," Barbara said robotically before immediately snapping her gaze toward Amanda, her voice lowering.
"Amanda."
"Sup," Amanda kept up the unbothered facade, despite feeling a chill pass over her. Barbara looked void of any type of mirth, not even the malicious joy she used to revel in. No, this time her face twisted like something heavy had fallen on her feet and she was fighting back every atom within her to keep from screaming. Her eyes were piercing, like they wanted to murder Amanda in a myriad of cruel (and probably Nightfall inspired) ways.
"I didn't know you two were becoming such good friends." Barbara tilted her head, making sure to keep her voice as level as she could.
"Ah, we've only hung out a couple of times," Hannah said, stepping closer to her.
Amanda jumped in. "Mostly by accident-"
"Interesting. Good to know," Barbara cut in with an unexpected sharpness. "Hannah, shall we get going then?"
Hannah's brows knitted together, her mouth slightly open as she heard traces of anger in the notes of Barbara's voice.
"Barbara, is everything alright?" Hannah asked.
"Right," Amanda's eyes shifted between the two girls, taking this new tension as her cue to go find someone else to bother, and quickly, given how Barbara seemed to be keeping her in her peripheral. "It was nice to run into ya guys, but I'm gonna bounce."
Hannah watched as Amanda wiggled her eyebrows at her, nudging her head toward Barbara, with a bit less subtlety than Hannah would've appreciated, before hurrying off.
The two of them stood silently for a moment as they watched Amanda leave. Barbara sighed and folded her arms, turning her gaze back to Hannah.
"It just doesn't make sense," Barbara's voice was empty.
"Barbara-"
"These last few days, you've been so unbearably fussy every time someone wants to see me- and what, you're over studying at Avery's and letting Amanda climb all over you? Ha-" Barbara attempted to laugh, but the sound was hollow and felt like it didn't belong to her at all.
"Unbearably?" Hannah's eyes grew. "What- what are you even saying, Barbara? Can't I have other friends?"
"Can't I, then?" Barbara cut through her words like a knife and Hannah would be lying if she thought she didn't feel the sting. "I know you don't like when I hang out with Lotte. It's written all over your face. You wear all your feelings on your sleeve, y'know. You can't hide things from me, I'm your best friend!"
"No, that's not-" Hannah's voice faltered, her fingers dug into her books as she pressed them closer to her chest. "That's…"
"So, is this like, you getting back at me or something? Instead of just saying what's up, you make all these weird reasons to avoid me and hang out with others?" Barbara said. "How is that fair?
"Barbara, quit it!" Hannah shouted in defense, wincing at the verbal jab. "What's gotten into you? I've never seen you this worked up. Seriously."
"No - what's gotten into you, Hannah?" Barbara's tone lifted up high before dropping to the bottom of wherever her heart had gone. "Because-" She swallowed. "If it's something I did, I'd like to know. And I assumed that you wouldn't hesitate to tell me since…"
"No," Hannah sighed. Every beat of her heart felt like a battering ram against her ribcage. "You didn't do anything." She inhaled deep and slow, everything went still for a moment. Gently, she took Barbara's hands in her own and looked her in the eyes.
"Barbara, I need to tell you something."
Amanda folded her arms behind her head once more as she walked down the hall, whistling a few notes. Once again, nothing to do. Her stride slowed to a halt when she heard something behind her. The patter of abnormally quick footsteps. It was enough to convince her to turn her head around.
"Huh? Diana?"
Diana stopped when she reached Amanda, turning to her with a creased forehead and glossy eyes. Upon closer inspection, Amanda could also tell there was something else off about her friend: her hair frizzed a bit and the usual oceanic blue of her eyes appeared dimmer. It was an uncommon look for her.
"Amanda, have you seen Akko?" Diana asked, getting straight to the point of talking to her. That was common.
"Wasn't Akko supposed to be with you?" Amanda cocked an eyebrow and snickered. "What- did you lose her or something?"
"Lose her?"
Diana's words bit hard, unsheathed from their usual guards of politeness and tact; even with her social quickness,the ground trembled under Amanda's feet from the mere weight of them and she lost her bearings.
"I didn't know you were so informed on the subject of loss, Amanda. Please, do educate me on what it means to lose someone."
"Whoa- Diana- hey, I was just kidding," Amanda backpedaled once she saw Diana snap her eyes shut again, rubbing at them with her fingers. "Diana? What happened?"
"I… I deeply apologize. That was... terribly rude of me," Diana shook her head, pausing to collect herself again while she pushed the stray hairs from her face. "Akko ran off and I really need to speak with her right now."
"Akko ran away from you?" Amanda gawked before stopping herself again. Now was obviously not the time to push Diana's buttons. "I mean, is everything okay? Do you know where she might've went?"
"I was going to check her room, though I'm certain that would be too obvious, even for Akko. There's also the chance she could have gone to Professor Ursula's office."
"Here, I'll help you out," Amanda patted Diana's shoulder, feeling it give under the weight of her hand.
"Let's split up and look, okay?"
There was another knock.
Professor Ursula gave Akko sympathetic smile and a shoulder squeeze before getting up to answer the door. Akko exhaled and stared down at her cup, swirling the remaining bit of tea as her thoughts whispered to her.
"Who is it?" Ursula called as she grabbed the handle of her door, hesitating for a moment as she awaited a response.
"Uh... Amanda," the muffled voice from the other side spoke. "Is Akko there?"
Ursula glanced over at Akko who swallowed and nodded to her. Nodding back, she turned the handle and cracked the door open just a bit. Fortunately, Amanda hadn't been accompanied by anyone - as far as Akko was aware anyway, as she stayed back at the desk.
"Good evening, Amanda," Professor Ursula greeted with her usual nervous smile. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for Akko," Amanda tilted her head, eyes trying to peer behind Professor Ursula for any sign of her friend. "Diana's worried sick - thinks she might've ran off again or somethin'."
Akko's body tensed at the mention of Diana being worried, that wrenching guilt pulling in her stomach again. She set her cup down.
"It's alright, Professor Ursula, you can let her in."
Ursula opened the door wider to allow Amanda to step inside, whose shoulders relaxed at the sight of Akko safe and in one piece. She shook her head.
"You know, you're pretty good at making people worry about you," Amanda said with a chuckle. "Too bad they don't grade you on that."
Akko was still in too crummy of a mood to laugh at Amanda's dig, merely smiling weakly before turning her gaze back to her hands. Ursula closed the door behind her and leaned against the wall, quietly listening.
"I feel bad about causing such a fuss," Akko said, gathering her thoughts. "And Diana… where is she?"
"She went to your room to check for you," Amanda sat herself at the chair across from her, leaning back in her usual breezy manner. "Remind me to rub it in that I found you first," She paused. "Actually, don't. She's already lashed out at me."
"D-Diana yelled at you?" Akko's eyes grew.
Amanda shrugged.
"Just a bit. What can I say? I get on her nerves easily," Amanda rocked back on the hind legs of her chair.
"Amanda, would you like some tea?" Ursula asked, gathering up their cups.
"No, thanks, Professor," Amanda replied, her eyes not looking away from Akko as she kept her grin up. "Diana's just been stressed out a lot. I'm sure it's nothing personal."
Akko buried her face into her hands and whined loudly. Ursula patted her back.
"Ugh, and all I did was make it worse," Akko's voice was muffled. "Nice going, me."
Amanda raised an eyebrow. "What exactly did you do?"
"Enough to embarrass myself into the next century," Akko said. "I don't know how I'm ever going to talk to Diana again, let alone look her in the eyes."
Her eyes, she remembered vividly - sinking, blue whirlpools that pulled deep. Pulling like a hand on her wrist, like a wordless, soundless plea to stay. Diana's eyes had been an invitation, a gateway to truth and intention and a reason to cut all the noise in Akko's mind away, like it were a type of contamination that she had constantly sat herself through. And all Akko had done in return was yank and tear until they snapped apart, twisting herself out of grasp. Avoiding the connection and in the same breath, longing for more. How hypocritical. How unfair.
"Amanda," Akko fought back her newfound tears again. "Can you- can you keep a secret? I really mean it this time. Like a forreal secret."
Sensing the severity, Amanda simply leaned in and nodded. The light that shone in her emerald eyes was not a cunning spark, as per usual, but an attentive and understanding one. It only took one silent exchange for Akko to know she was on the same page.
"I'm afraid of losing Diana - as a friend," Akko rubbed her arm. "I was overthinking all our interactions and it just hit me, y'know. I miss when me and Diana were close. When all that crazy stuff was happening with us. And now everything is normal and-" Akko wiped at her eyes again, her voice breaking. "I dunno - I don't want things to be normal!"
Amanda leaned back, chewing her lip as she processed the words.
"That's so weird to say, ugh!" Akko cried. "I know it doesn't make sense! I don't want to be normal friends with Diana! Like, what does that even mean?"
"Akko," Amanda cut in as politely as she could. "It's not weird. I mean, it is, but it's also not." She groaned at her own lack of verbosity. "A lot happened between you two. That's a fact. But only you can piece your feelings together about it."
"I'm inclined to agree," Ursula chimed in, returning from upstairs and bending down to take Akko's hand again, meeting her eyes. "You shouldn't be putting yourself down for the way you feel. And, while avoiding Diana won't make the situation better, you at least told her how you felt," Ursula's smile wavered. "Now you just need to talk to her again with a clearer head this time and a more, er, put-together action plan."
Akko sniffed.
"You don't think she'll be angry at me?"
Amanda snorted. "It's not like you haven't pissed her off before!"
"I doubt she'll stay mad at you once you two sit down and discuss things openly and honestly," Ursula said.
Openly and honestly. Akko repeated the phrase in her head like a mantra. Openly and honestly.
That evening, the three of them formed a plan.
A/N: I just wanna let you all know how grateful I am for your comments, kudos, and support! It really makes this story so much fun to write and slowly build up. I do want to take my time with this, because I'm intensely passionate about this story. And despite my mean writing, I really do love you guys! I hope you're all enjoying the gradual burn here as much as I am. See y'all next week!