Anders was very quiet when they took the trek out to the Bone Pit mines to gather drakestone. Nero chalked it up to his being irritable that Sebastian and Fenris were with them. It was unfortunate, but Nero couldn't leave the city alone, even he knew that was a stupid idea, and even with Anders there it was still dangerous. Anders had argued and fought, saying that he would rather go by himself, but Nero had eventually convinced him to let the others come and so here they were, walking to the Bone Pit.
"Are you an Andrastian, Fenris?" Sebastian suddenly asked, he had discussed several things related to the faith with the elf, but he realized that he never actually found out if his friend believed it. He certainly seemed skeptical.
"If I say no, will you attempt to convert me?" Fenris asked.
"Many elves believe in the Maker. I just wondered if your experiences... soured your faith."
"My faith was never strong. It's difficult for a slave to have faith in someone who abandoned them."
"The Maker didn't enslave you, Fenris." Sebastian assured him gently.
"He didn't help me much, either."
"And yet you stand here, free. Perhaps He helped you more than you think."
"The Maker didn't free me. I freed myself. If the Maker did anything, He watched. Why should I thank Him for that?" Fenris replied sourly.
"Is it so hard to believe the Maker cares for you? Maybe He gave you the chance to escape."
"It doesn't feel like the Maker cares for me... or anyone."
"Didn't the Maker abandon us? Doesn't that indicate he doesn't care?" Nero asked.
"We all make our own choices, to do good as well as evil. That is our doing, not the Maker's." Sebastian told them
"Then what does the Maker do, watch us like we're a play?" Nero snorted.
"The maker works in mysterious ways, we are too far below his station to truly understand the way he works."
"That sounds like an excuse"
"The Maker does not make a person evil, he did not create the situation where you and Fenris were forced into servitude." Sebastian said.
"He did not prevent it from happening either. How can you tell me he cares about me when he has allowed such atrocities to take place? Do I even fall under his care? I was created with less than pure intentions, doesn't that mean I am a byproduct if evil?"
"How do you know that the maker didn't guide your creator's hands to create you?"
"If he did guide their hands then why did he not prevent them from using those same hands to abuse me?"
Sebastian shook his head, "there is no clear answer. Maybe you were abused so that you may appreciate your life now. Maybe Fenris was enslaved so that he would truly enjoy his freedom."
"Perhaps." Fenris said, "It's... been a long time since I gave it any thought."
"It's not too late to start."
"It sounds like a bunch of rubbish to me." Nero scowled.
Sebastian sighed and turned his attentions back to the elf while Nero fell into pace beside the mage, where they brooded in comfortable silence.
"Were you ever dedicated in the faith of the chantry?" Sebastian asked Fenris.
"I have no memory of my childhood. Danarius had no desire to teach his slaves anything that made them think they're worthy beings."
"I'm sorry. I can't imagine how difficult your life has been." Sebastian told him, momentarily regretting that he had brought it up.
"No, you can't."
"Whether you were taught it or not, the Maker has room at His side for every soul. Even yours. "
Fenris grunted but did not respond and the next several minutes were spent in silence till Sebastian decided to voice something that he had been considering for quite some time.
"You know, when I return to Starkhaven you're welcome to come with me."
Sebastian watched as Fenris glanced at Nero before looking at him skeptically.
"Nero is welcome too, of course." Sebastian added.
Nero gaped for several moments, stunned by this invitation, he wouldn't have expected Sebastian to offer him anything, even if it was for the sake of his friend. Then he chuckled, "that might not be the best move you could make. Even though slavery is abolished in the Free Marches I'm sure the Archon of Tevinter would be less than pleased to find out that you are in possession of his property. He might claim that you stole me. I don't think as the new ruler of Starkhaven bringing along something that may start a war would be a good plan."
Sebastian frowned but did not reply, it was several more minutes before anyone spoke
"And what exactly would you have me do in Starkhaven?" Fenris asked curiously.
"You're a fine warrior. If you could train men to fight like you do, we'd be unstoppable." Sebastian smiled.
Fenris scoffed, "I'm no leader, and I doubt humans would want me training them."
"Then why not train elves? I bet there's plenty who would admire all you've accomplished."
"I... haven't accomplished anything." Fenris said slowly
"No? You are your own man, living as you see fit—you give yourself too little credit."
"You are being kind."
"Not at all. Think about it."
Fenris scratched his chin, "I'll keep it in mind, maybe someday."
"Good...is that smoke?" Sebastian asked.
Nero shifted his gaze to the direction that Sebastian was indicating and sure enough, there were faint trails of smoke wafting into the air.
"Trouble at the mines?" He asked.
Fenris sighed, "of course there is trouble at the mines, why wouldn't things go completely smoothly for once?"
They hastened their pace and quickly came upon the remains of the workers camp. Every structure that had been erected before, to provide cover for the worker's camps and food, had caught fire and lay in charred heaps all around the outside of the camp, which was littered with burned corpses.
"What happened here?" Sebastian asked incredulously.
"I'm more concerned with where the rest of the workers are. They couldn't still be in the mines, could they?" Nero asked.
Anders shook his head, "it looks like these fires have been going on for quite some time."
"Well...why don't we look for survivors in the caves while we look for drakestone?" Nero suggested.
"Sounds like a plan," Anders looked sadly at one of the corpses, "I wish we had made it here sooner."
"And get caught up in whatever caused this? I think I'll pass." Nero said.
...
Hawke frowned, this was not something he felt like doing on a day that he didn't have any appointments to keep or people to please. He had anticipated simply going to the Hanged Man, having a few drinks, maybe flirting a bit with Isabela, and basically doing fuck all, all day.
But, alas, Hubert had stopped him before he had even left Hightown with one hell of a sad story.
"Catastrophe has truck, Partner! We are ruined, ruined!" Hubert had exclaimed.
So he had sighed loudly and listened as the man explained that a cart had returned from the Bone Pit with a dozen mangled bodies and some babble about mages being unable to get a horse to speak. Hawke had promised to look into it, not that day of course, and had gone on his merry little way.
But, while drinking at the Hanged Man, he had a hard time getting the stupid Bone Pit off of his mind and eventually realized that he would have to go out there so that he could get some actual relaxing done.
Varric was unable to accompany him, work, he said, but Isabela shrugged her shoulders, chugged the rest of her drink and decided to join him. He was happy for the company, even if he was often left confused when he and the pirate parted ways. He couldn't sort his stupid head around it, what was she doing to him? What did she mean to him?
They were almost at the mine when he realized that he was having quite the time stressing about what they would find in the Bone Pit and trying to figure women, specifically Isabela, out. His brain was about as tired as his legs when he decided that he needed to take a rest and motioned for the pirate to stop while he sat unceremoniously on a tree stump.
"You always take me to the nicest places, Hawke." Isabela teased.
"I do try. What's more fun than traveling to a mine in the middle of nowhere to see why everyone is dead?" He smiled.
"I can think of a few things." she winked.
"I have no doubt." He smirked.
Her confidence quaked under his smile. She couldn't tell if she was reading desire in there or not. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to, or so she told herself. She hadn't felt this way in years, not since she was a little girl. That man had broken her heart...given, she was only a child, so it wasn't very difficult. But since then...she was guarded, always. He's gay, you imbecile. You know better. she chided herself.
"Oh maker." she breathed as she let her head fall into her hands. When did their flirting become something other than an ironic joke between them? He was gay, he liked other men, they used to sit in the Blooming Rose and talk about what they would do to the more expensive male whores.
But then there were also times in the Blooming Rose that they would rate the whores, and the clients, on a scale of 1-10. 1 being a terrible lay and 10 being excellent sex - as they imagined it. He had never rated a woman higher than 7 but he did rate them, she had always assumed it was just a joke on his part, but maybe he actually believed the numbers he gave them, what if he wasn't as strictly into men as they both thought?
She knew he had never been with a woman, he had told her that years ago. But, now that she recalled it, he hadn't said it was because he had no interest in them...did that mean he did?
Why are you doing this to yourself. You know he doesn't like you that way, and that's fine, because you don't like him that way either. Stop being such a girl Isabela, you're starting to sound as ridiculous as Merril.
"Isabela...whats wrong?" Hawke asked.
She jumped, having been so deep in her thoughts that she forgot he was there.
She looked at him for a moment before laughing, "nothing Hawke, Nothing. But I was wondering...have you been with a woman yet?"
He gaped at her for long enough that she almost regretted asking it. But then he smirked devilishly.
"Are you offering?" he asked.
She chuckled but did not reply, allowing him to draw his own conclusions. They sat in silence for a while, and she had begun to believe the subject dropped when he spoke again.
"No, I have not. I have been...if I ask you to keep a secret, will you keep it?" he asked hesitantly.
She looked him in the eye as she said, "yes, I will keep a secret." and she was quite surprised to realize that she would.
"I have been pretty exclusive to men for as long as I can remember. But sometimes... sometimes I wonder if that's only because I lost my virginity to a man. Maybe I stuck to men after that because I understand them better than I understand women, and therefore I found it more comfortable to be with them."
She thought a long time before speaking, "have you ever thought about being with a woman?"
He frowned, "a few times. But I never acted on it and it never seemed to last that long, until...I've never thought too much of it, to be honest, until recently."
She furrowed her brow, what does that mean?
"But come," he said, his serious tone replaced with his usual comedic one, "we have a disaster to get to the bottom of. All this talk is starting to make me feel like an adult."
"Hawke." She said, "you're old. You're supposed to be an adult."
He gasped and placed a hand on his chest dramatically, "I am not old, I am only 27, I will have you know."
"See?" She said with a smirk, "old."
He scowled at her, "and how 'old' are you? From my calculations we'll be replacing your underwear with diapers any day now."
She smacked him in the arm hard but continued down the path towards the mine. Leaving him laughing loudly behind her.