A/N ok i know this was meant to be up a while ago, i'm sorry! *bows* the next one is in production right now i swear!
Also nnoitora swears so bad language warning! (although to me it's pretty tame lol)
Nnoitora and his big mouth
The espada had been gathered for yet another, what most of them considered, tedious meeting. Although some, like Grimmjow, not knowing the meaning of the word 'tedious' very eloquently referred to them as 'bullshit'.
Today Szayel had all his freaky little toys and weird looking potions laid out, excitedly polishing a beaker and jumping up and down, it was obvious they were in for another 'demonstration'.
"So, what have you prepared for me today?" Aizen lounged in one of his many, many thrones drinking tea.
"I've finally perfected 'the nightmare' potion" Szayel put emphasis on the name of it, beaming as he showed off his dark purple bubbling concoction.
Aizen studied the potion while Nnoitora, Grimmjow and yami snorted with laughter.
"How is giving the soul reapers bad dreams useful you pink fluffy dumbass? Can't you invent a bomb or some shit like that, y'know something that makes 'em go 'boom!' and blow up into little pieces" Nnoitora shouted at the indignant scientist, illustrating his idea with the movement of his hands.
"A small dose will turn them insane! It's a brilliant potion you Neanderthal!" Szayel spat at the tall espada pouting. Withdrawing a syringe from his somewhat feminine box, he filled it and held it upright grinning at Nnoitora.
"Pfft you think that stinking needle can pierce my hierro?" he slapped his arm for emphasis.
"Actually..." Szayel trailed off and looked to the entrance where tesla entered looking very nervous.
"Aw shit" Grimmjow laughed, this was gonna get real interesting, real quick.
"If you would tesla" Szayel motioned for the arrancar, the blonde made his way over cautiously but was startled by a cero that blasted a few inches in front of him blocking the way.
All eyes turned to Nnoitora who was glaring at Szayel with venom. He left his seat and went to tesla's side, placing a hand on his shoulder he addressed the scientist.
"Try your shit on someone else ok freaky? Tesla's off limits, let's go tesla." He hoisted the blonde over his shoulder causing him to blush and protest.
"Hey he's a test subject! Lord Aizen!" Szayel whined to the leader, who looked bored. Waving his hand noncommittally he asked Nnoitora
"Just let him be experimented on, why the fuss? I'll make you a new fraccion" he sighed.
"Cos tesla's special ok? Nobody touches him but me got it?" he shouted at the room and left. Later he would realize what he just revealed but for now he had no idea. Aizen just watched him leave and shrugged his shoulders.
"Find a new test subject, test the serum and report the results when you're done" he told the scientist and walked off muttering about 'a waste of time'
"Hey..." harribel spoke up after a considerable amount of time had passed "did Nnoitora just say he touched his fraccion?" she looked at the others, confounded. No-one contributed to this but opted instead to leave awkwardly. Soon enough though the espada, as they always did, shared the contents of the meeting with their fraccion, who in turn spread the fact that Nnoitora 'touched' tesla to every other espada they could find.
Within a few hours the entire realm of Hueco Mundo knew Nnoitora was partial to pounding tesla in his spare time. Tesla found himself gaining many sympathies and condolences for no apparent reason which confused him greatly.
Szayel was now worried that Nnoitora would blame him for all this and had asked gin to close off all passages to his quarters from Nnoitora's. Of course gin used this to his own advantage as well.
this was pretty short, and no sex or kitty D:
i'm sorry!
the story is almost finished i think...*sigh* this is utter crack don't even know how i came up with these ideas :O