Chapter 4

La Cuidadora Descuidada y Compania ("The Careless Caregiver and Company")

"I bet you're hungry," Orihime suddenly proclaimed, her voice cheery. If she remembered correctly, Ulquiorra hadn't eaten anything since she tore out of the house to try to get to school on time. Not only did she get late to school, she also forgot to make a lunch for Ulquiorra. It wasn't like he was a usual house guest or anything. He had been human for less than twenty-four hours, so how was he supposed to know that he needed to eat something other than spiritual energy? Orihime wanted to cry out of her lack of hospitality. She was supposed to be a better human than this!

Standing on her toes and reaching for one of the top cupboard doors, Orihime looked back at Ulquiorra hopefully. "I can make pasta for you. Maybe you'll like it." Just as her small fingers grasped the handle, the sound of metal clinking together rang out. Unfortunate for Orihime, she realized a little too late the consequences of her actions. A big, metal pot almost struck her in the forehead when she felt a pair of arms embrace her. Ulquiorra tackled Orihime out of the way of the tumbling pots, earning a cry of surprise from her as they landed on the floor a little distance from the cooking dishes.

When the last pot hit the floor, Ulquiorra looked down at Orihime. Her grey eyes peered up at him, a smile forming on her lips briefly. She never expected him to save her. It was pretty unusual for him to do things of that nature. He was normally as cold as ice. "Thank—"

She didn't have time to thank the man as the door to her apartment flew open and Tatsuki, fully clad in her karate uniform, barged into the apartment, worry and anger on her face. "Orihime, what's wrong?" Tatsuki screamed before coming to a screeching halt. Her eyes widened with amazement. "What're you doing?" She pointed at Ulquiorra. "And who's this bastard?"

"Huh?" Orihime didn't quite understand what was wrong—until she noticed how close Ulquiorra's face was to hers. He was on top of her in the most suggestive position they could ever be in, his arms still wrapped around her body. Instantly, Orihime's face reddened as she realized what Tatsuki was probably thinking.

An image suddenly entered Orihime's mind with her squirming underneath Ulquiorra as he tried to kiss her. "Kiss me! Kiss me now!" Orihime shook her head, hoping to get the dirty thoughts out of her head. Why was she thinking of such things at the moment?

With a little bit of strength, Orihime placed a hand on Ulquiorra's chest and pushed him off of her. She felt Tatsuki's dangerous aura beginning to take a hold of her best friend, and with imploring eyes, Orihime tried to calm the beast. "It's not what you think, Tatsuki! He saved me!"

Tatsuki glared at Ulquiorra, who had stood up to eye her indifferently. "Who is this guy, anyways?" she demanded.

"He's a…guest." Orihime tried to give Tatsuki a bright, believable smile, but she knew her best friend could see right through her. Still, it wasn't a complete lie. At the moment, Ulquiorra was a guest in her home.

"Don't give me that! And what were you doing to Orihime?"

Oh no, Orihime thought, trying to think of another lie. Maybe she could say he was a distant cousin or something. She really wished she was a better liar.

"The pots," Ulquiorra's dull voice spoke, his hand lifting as he pointed at the pots, "almost fell on her. I was merely helping her."

Orihime watched Tatsuki's expression change, from anger to distrust and worry. It was obvious that the pots had fallen from the open cupboard. There was no denying that fact, seeing how the pots had created a mayhem of metal on the floor.

"Is this true, Orihime?" Tatsuki's eyes seemed to say, "If you give me any signal, I'll clobber him."

Orihime smiled as she usually did. She was grateful that he had spoken. As to why, she wasn't so sure why she didn't want Tatsuki to misunderstand Ulquiorra's intentions. Then again, she didn't know what his intentions entailed. The only thing she knew was that he had saved her and he had spoken up to defend the real situation.

Orihime flashed a warm smile at her friend, and Tatsuki's aggressive demeanor relaxed, dissolving the tension in the air. "It's ok, Tatsuki. He saved me from those pots." Orihime indicated towards Ulquiorra. "He's staying here for a while and I guess I'm such a klutz that he needed to save me from my own kitchen. But thanks for worrying about me."

Tatsuki seemed to accept Orihime's words before stepping into the kitchen. She eyed Ulquiorra, judging him as she did any opponent in the dojo. Orihime couldn't interrupt this process. If she did, Tatsuki would sense something really wrong there, and Orihime couldn't say if she could protect the human Ulquiorra from her strong best friend's temper.

After a few moments of silence, Tatsuki held out her hand to Ulquiorra. "Tatsuki," she introduced tersely, not hiding the barbs of distrust.

Ulquiorra just stared at her with his scary green eyes, not holding back the disdain he always held for humans. Ulquiorra, for the most part, was unchanged underneath his new human skin. "Ulquiorra Schiffer," he responded icily. With that, he abruptly turned away from Tatsuki and stooped down to pick up the fallen pots. Orihime almost laughed in the wake of Tatsuki's angry face. Even though his speech was polite, Ulquiorra wasn't one to be polite in terms of anything else. If anything, he was a perfect match to light Tatsuki's fire. Orihime couldn't blame Tatsuki if she took his persona in a hostile way.

"Is he always this rude?" Tatsuki asked Orihime as he placed the pots neatly in the cupboard.

"He doesn't like to talk," Orihime admitted nervously. At least that wasn't a lie.

As if life depended on it, Tatsuki grabbed Orihime's arm and pulled her friend away from Ulquiorra's ear. It seemed that the distrust ran deep in Tatsuki's dark eyes. She dropped her voice to a whisper, gazing at Orihime with the most worried look on her face. "Are you sure you'd want him to stay with you here? Alone?"

Orihime dismissed Tatsuki's ideas, shrugging her shoulders. "He won't do anything—"

"Alone," Tatsuki added with emphasis, staring her down some more. "You're alone here. What if something happens?"

Without much regard for her friend, Orihime allowed her bubbly guise to slip away, quickly adopting on of defense. Tatsuki noticed immediately, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. "I trust him enough." Orihime tapped her hair pins on her uniform collar, reminding Tatsuki of where her powers lied. "I have these, so please don't worry." Though the gesture was meant to calm Tatsuki's weariness of Ulquiorra, Orihime felt Tatsuki stiffen against the information. Maybe it made Tatsuki aware of Orihime's actual power, but the friends acknowledged that Orihime wasn't weak in the unconventional sense.

"Woman."

Without thinking about it, Orihime turned her gaze to Ulquiorra. A blank look—even more confused than his usual empty stares—told Orihime that he needed her help. He held a pot in each hand. "These pots do not fit."

"She has a name, you know!" Tatsuki fired back at the former Espada, the tension returning with a vengeance. She gritted her teeth. "Her name is—"

"Inoue!"

The source of the voice came from Orihime's doorway. Standing there, clad in their school uniforms, Kurosaki and Sado filled the entranceway. The atmosphere immediately filled with an unnerving tension, hostility directed towards Ulquiorra, filling Orihime with a dreadful feeling.

Next chapter: El Contendiente Cuidado

The friends face off against Ulquiorra and another contender.

A/N: Please review! It helps!