Chapter 2
Gojyo awoke to the feeling of something touching his hair. He'd fallen asleep with it still damp and in a ponytail, and the mass of it was one big, frizzy knot. Soft fingers were gently, deftly working through the tangles and laying it flat against the pillow.
"Are you alright?" Hakkai asked. His voice was hoarse and thick.
"What are you doing sitting up?" Gojyo replied.
"I was too congested to lay on my back," Hakkai said, his fingers slowing to a stop. "Are you hurt?"
"No. What time is it?"
"Mid morning, I think. I'm sorry I woke you, but since you're up do you mind helping me to the bathroom?" Hakkai remembered his previous convalescence, not so long ago, and there was no hesitation or shame in the question.
Gojyo wiggled out from under the covers. "Yeah, of course." Together they made their way to the toilet and back, Hakkai hopping painfully on his good leg while Gojyo supported him. When Hakkai was safely back in bed, Gojyo consulted the doctor's notes. It was too soon for more medicine according to the schedule, and the rest was just filler - do's and don'ts, the kind of thing anyone with half a brain could figure out. "Did you want something to eat?"
"I think not. At least, not right now, thank you. Although tea would be very appreciated." Hakkai paused. He coughed; it sounded wet. "Gojyo, about last night-"
"What about it?" Gojyo interrupted, but took his time filling the kettle, setting aside the teapot, and digging around in the back of the cupboard for the tea that came in the bags. Hakkai was picky about tea, and didn't like it when Gojyo used the loose leaf stuff - said he tended to use too much or too little. He couldn't bring himself to look at his roommate. "Look, I fucked up. I'm glad we saved that lady, but if I hadn't just run in like an idiot, you wouldn't be..." he waved a hand in Hakkai's direction.
"You acted like a hero, and I shouldn't have criticized you for it. I was frightened at the time. But that's not what I wanted to talk about," Hakkai said calmly.
"Well I don't want to talk about it, alright?" Gojyo felt restless. He was still tired, a few hours' sleep hadn't been enough. He set a cup, with a bag of tea floating in it, along with a kettle full of hot water on the bedside table and shrugged into his jacket. "I'm going to go get a carton, I'm almost out of smokes. Want anything while I'm out? I'll make up your medicine when I get back."
Hakkai sighed, only to have it turn into another cough. "I'd like a newspaper, and a book of crossword puzzles, please."
"You got it," Gojyo said. He found a clean pair of jeans and a fresh shirt, dressed, and put on his coat. Picking up a rusty old coffee can off the kitchen counter, he peeled off the lid. Inside was his stash of cash. He shoved a roll of bills into his pants pocket. "I'll be back soon."
Gojyo used the walk to town to clear his mind. He smoked the last of the pack as he made his way to the newsstand. He got what Hakkai had asked for, and then took a left at the next street to go to the market. He bought a carton of cigarettes, then stopped off at his favorite noodle place. He ate at the counter, and ordered a #6 to go.
Out of things to do, Gojyo turned towards home, but he didn't get far before he sat down on a bench overlooking the river. He could see the burnt out husk of the tenement house. Some men were tearing down the ruined remains of the walls or shoveling ashes into wagons to haul away. Life moved on, so why did he feel so stuck? Gojyo leaned back, looking up at the cold gray expanse of the sky, and found himself wishing Sanzo and the monkey were home. Those two coming to fuss over Hakkai would have been enough to distract him from wanting to discuss things, at least for awhile, at least until Gojyo could figure out how the hell he was going to convince Hakkai that they could just forget about what had happened after they'd left the casino.
It started to snow. It wasn't much, just a lazy swirl of flakes that drifted slowly towards the ground, the kind that wouldn't stick. Time to go home.
Hakkai flipped through an old copy of a farmer's almanac, trying to think about what he should plant after the spring thaw. His tea had gone tepid, but he sipped it anyway. The pain in his ankle was distracting, as was the pressure in his chest. He coughed into a handkerchief. None of it was enough to stop him from remembering the taste of Gojyo's mouth on his.
He'd meant what he'd said when he'd told Gojyo he wasn't ready. But that didn't mean that he wasn't interested. It just felt too much like betrayal. The worst part of it was that he didn't have any doubt that the sentiment behind the kiss had been genuine. Gojyo was nearly always sincere, and when he wasn't, it was usually because his sincerity had been rejected and he was protecting himself. Hakkai, on the other hand, was rarely sincere, and for the same reason.
Perhaps it was best just to let sleeping dogs lie. There was nothing to be gained from trying to confront Gojyo, there was nowhere for that conversation to go, after all. He'd been gone for almost two hours; for all Hakkai knew, Gojyo had found the woman from the gambling house and was enjoying a lunchtime tryst. Hakkai swallowed the sudden irrational jealousy that thought provided and was instantly rewarded with the distinct sound of Gojyo kicking the mud off his boots by tapping his heels against the rock Hakkai had put near the door for that very purpose, and then obediently scraping the soles dry on the rough reed mat in the entryway.
"Home," the redhead announced, as if he hadn't just been stomping around loud enough to wake the dead (or at least the bedridden). "I know you don't like my cooking, so I brought you some noodles from Wo's - the pork special."
"That was very thoughtful, thank you," Hakkai smiled warmly. "If you put a little oil in the skillet, it should warm up nicely."
Gojyo busied himself in the kitchen and made another pot of tea. He put the tea and the packets of medicine on the nightstand and let Hakkai dose himself while he hunted in the drawer for a matching set of chopsticks and slid Hakkai's reheated food onto a plate.
"So we lost everything we made last night," Gojyo said casually, sitting on the floor with his back to the foot of the bed. "I've got enough to cover food and basics for a week or so, even if we're going to be relying on takeout, but the doctor's gonna want something for treating you."
"Naturally. That's only fair," Hakkai replied. The noodles were good, the pork spicy enough that it made his stuffy nose run. "I should have enough put away to cover the bulk of my medical bills."
Gojyo lit a cigarette. "I figured you might." He smoked quietly for a long moment.
Hakkai set his empty plate aside. "We'll figure something out." It was times like this that Hakkai was reminded how different their upbringing had been. Though Hakkai had hated the orphanage, the nuns who ran it, and the other children, he had never gone hungry. His scholarship had included room and board, and he'd had the teaching job lined up before he even graduated. There had been times he hadn't had as much as he'd wanted, but that wasn't the same. Gojyo, on the other hand, always wolfed down his food like someone was likely to come and take it away - and for all Hakkai knew, that had been a valid fear for much of Gojyo's life. He was no stranger to going without. Hakkai resolved to keep Gojyo from worrying about necessities. He would send Sanzo a letter before the snows closed the pass completely, request to borrow money. Sanzo, he knew, would give him a cash advance on a future "errand" if he asked. He wouldn't tell that to Gojyo, though - he might get the wrong idea. Hakkai could just imagine Gojyo thinking that Hakkai didn't trust him to provide for them while he was incapacitated, which would be silly, given that he's done so successfully. This was different though. Then, it had been kindness to a stranger at a time when Gojyo had been on a winning streak at the tables, and had been living with no responsibilities (and no electricity, or gas, and a well pump that had to be primed and pressurized by hand). Now Hakkai had swooped in, created order and a routine; a lifestyle with certain comforts and conveniences which, while not lavish, they both were interested in maintaining.
Hakkai broke away from his thoughts when Gojyo stretched, yawning hugely. Hakkai patted the mattress next to his hip. "You look exhausted, and I could use a nap myself. Do you want to share the bed?"
"Nah, I think I'd like to stretch out a bit," Gojyo said, getting up tossing the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. He cleaned up the lunch things and toed off his shoes to lay on the couch. Hakkai was already asleep, propped up on the pillows, his hands folded in his lap like a corpse in a coffin. "Creepy bastard," he murmured affectionately.
The next few days passed slowly. The snow continued in spurts, and Gojyo spent most of his time tending to Hakkai's needs. His fever spiked late on the second day and his cough got progressively worse, until he was hacking up thick phlegm in fits that left him gasping for breath. Gojyo made Hakkai hot water bottles to soothe the ache in his chest, and went into town to buy mint tea and cans of soup. The doctor came by each evening after the clinic closed to check on Hakkai, listening to his chest and changing the dressing on his leg. Hakkai's ankle had swollen grotesquely, the wound where the bone had stuck out an angry line, but thankfully it didn't develop an infection.
They played cards when Hakkai felt well enough, and sometimes, when he wasn't, he coerced Gojyo into reading aloud to him. When Hakkai had moved in after he'd come back from the temple, he had seemed surprised to realize Gojyo was literate, and Gojyo hadn't really been offended. He'd never been to school, but Jien had, and Jien had spent time teaching him enough to survive. Sometimes he had to ask Hakkai what a word meant, or how a particular character was read, but Hakkai seemed to enjoy listening, even when his reading was slow or clumsy, though once or twice he fell asleep in the middle of a newspaper article.
On the sixth day, just as Hakkai seemed to be pulling through the worst of the illness, Gojyo ran out of beer and cigarettes. He'd done his best to ration both, but he wasn't that great at moderation and being cooped up at home had him feeling itchy. His coffee can was nearly empty, and he hesitated to spend the last of it on himself. "I'm getting a little low on cash," he told Hakkai at dinner. Soup again. "I should go and see what I can do at the tables. Think you'll be alright for a bit?"
Hakkai didn't answer right away. He had to cough awhile before he found his voice. "I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll just sleep while you're out."
"Well, I should at least help you to the toilet before I go, just in case," Gojyo said, and Hakkai nodded in response. He was still pale, with a flush over his cheeks. When Gojyo propped him up and they made their stilted, hopping way across the little house and back, he tried not to notice just how much weight Hakkai had lost. "I can have the widow Xin check on you before she goes to bed." Widow Xin was their closest neighbor; her house was a half mile closer to town, set back a few hundred yards from the road.
"Really, that's not necessary. Her knees don't need for her to be out walking around in the cold and damp in the middle of the night," Hakkai said, matter-of-factly.
"If you're sure," Gojyo hedged.
"Normally you accuse me of being a mother hen. Just go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll get back."
Gojyo nodded, dressed warmly, and headed out into the gloomy twilight. He walked briskly, his hands shoved into his coat pockets. He thought of last week, when he and Hakkai had made this trip together, their way to the gambling house filled with easy laughter. He sighed and thought again of how badly he'd fucked it all up so soon after. It still stung, though knowing that he had no chance with Hakkai actually made things a lot easier. He'd gambled and lost, but at least he knew not to play that bet again. That it didn't seem to have destroyed their friendship was something he'd always be grateful for.
Winter was a hard time to make money playing cards. As hard as it was easy in the summer months, when the long warm, humid nights made everyone with even a little skill at cards or tiles want to get out to the bars for a cold beer and a little companionship. This time of year everyone was a little lean, and with heavier snows on the way any day now, most people were disinclined to risk their hard earned money.
He tried three different casinos, but couldn't find anyone willing to play for enough to make it worth his time. It was the same in the pool hall. He talked to the bartenders and one told him that if he was looking for real gambling, he'd have to head uptown to the rich quarter. Gojyo thanked him and wandered towards the bridge. Sanzo's temple lay along the waterfront to the east, massive and walled and quiet. He crossed the bridge and headed west.
He knew this part of town better than he let on. He'd worked here before. Some of it had been legit, some of it had been cons or downright theft - Banri's idea. Gojyo didn't miss the bastard and his manipulative shit, especially after what he's done a couple months ago. Still, he wasn't dressed right to be here; he'd have to turn up the charm if he didn't want to get kicked out on sight.
Gojyo stepped into the warmth and bright light of the casino. It was lavishly decorated in red and gold, with girls in short cheongsam carrying trays of food and alcohol to the tables where the elite gambled, and not just with cards or dice. Gojyo felt outclassed though he didn't let it show through his swagger. He sat down at the bar, ordered a beer, and watched the tables to get a feel for the flow of the room.
A perfectly made-up brunette in her early forties sat down beside him, her hand moving to rest casually on his knee. "It's been a long time, Gojyo-chan," she said. "What brings you to my humble establishment?"
"Just looking for a little action," he told her with a wink.
She smiled, and her look was like a crow's, her black eyes and hair shining like obsidian in the lamplight. "Is that so?"
"We both know I couldn't afford you, Ying Yue-san."
She laughed, and it was full-throated and honest. "How right you are! And yet, here you sit, Gojyo-chan. Are you looking for a new mistress, then? I know a few lovely ladies who are always open to keeping a nice young handyman at their beck and call."
"You were really nice to find me handyman jobs in the past, Ying Yue-san, and I appreciate the offer. I just can't commit to something like that right now - I've got an obligation to a friend."
Ying Yue held up a hand, and the girl behind the counter set a glass of fine red wine at her elbow. "Yes, so I've heard. As you know, nothing much happens in this city that doesn't make its way to my ears. So what, then? Shift work, perhaps?"
Gojyo sipped his beer. "I hadn't really thought about it. I came in to play cards - the lower quarter is quiet tonight." He glanced casually around the room. "Why, are you hiring?"
"I'm always hiring," Yin Yue said, and wet her lips with the wine. "But shift work is hard work, and you couldn't be picky. I'd give you 60%, and if you want to deal at one of the tables between customers, I'll pay you hourly as well."
It was a generous offer. Either she really wanted to help him, or she was short staffed. He said as much, and she laughed again. Her open humor was part of her appeal; she never tittered shyly behind her hand, and her good nature drew men to her, made her attractive in a way that a more physically beautiful woman with a cold heart could never achieve. Gojyo liked Ying Yue.
"Alright," he said, "I've got a couple conditions, though. First, I need to keep a low profile."
"Agreed, though for someone as unique as you going back to work, there is bound to be some talk. I have a lot of ears, but even I can't control every tongue. And the other thing?"
"Second, this is a short-term thing. Just until my friend is back on his feet."
"Hmn," she mused. "That's a little disappointing. Seasonal workers tend to half-ass their jobs."
"Like I said, I came in to gamble. My cards are on the table, Ying Yue-san."
"Then I suppose there is no point in playing any more." She held out a hand.
Gojyo shook it, then brought it to his lips and kissed her knuckles before she could pull it away. "Thank you."
If Ying Yue was charmed or surprised by the gesture, she gave no indication. "Well," she said, matter-of-factly, "There's no time like the present. It will only be a half-shift, but you can start right now. Go up stairs and ask for my assistant, Hui. Tell her to get you a robe...something in gold, I think," she eyed his hair, "You'll match the decor."
Gojyo chuckled, downed the last of his beer, stood, and tapped the bar. "Put it on my tab," he told the bartender, "and make sure I get my employee discount!"
Notes: this chapter wasn't very exciting. I fiddled with it quite a bit, and I know that there are still errors and things I could, and should, rewrite. Even so, I wanted to try and stick to the schedule I set for myself, so I'm putting this out here and letting it go, sink or swim.
MiyabiNa - Thanks for taking the time to review the last chapter. I'm trying to work a chapter ahead of my posting schedule, so hopefully I can keep to this once-a-week schedule. I usually prefer AO3 as well, but I've been having trouble logging in. Once I can, I'll cross post for others who prefer that site.