Chapter Three
"I'm glad to see that you're doing better." Dorian said as I climbed the stairs to the library. I had just come back from thanking the apothecary and the mages that fixed my wound and ensured I didn't die. "You had me very worried there and that kind of stress is no good for me. You're going to ruin my handsome face by giving me wrinkles and gray hair." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms.
I laughed and acted scandalized, humoring his false vanity. "Oh no! We can't have that. You must remain forever youthful looking. How else will we defeat our enemies if not with your killer good looks." I leaned against the bookcase, getting serious once again. "Thank you, Dorian."
"Whatever for?"
"You're the reason I'm standing here right now. You stopped my bleeding before it killed me." I smiled softly. "I'm very grateful to you."
"Nonsense. I simply acted in my own interests. Without you, we have no way to seal the rifts." I could see the relief in his face. I put my hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before he smiled again."How is it feeling?"
"About as well as it can I suppose. It stings, but our apothecary makes an excellent painkiller that has brought it down to just a dull ache. I imagine it will be nothing more than a scar in a few days."
"That is good to hear. We were all incredibly worried for you considering our dire circumstances. And the fact that you have utterly charmed us all." He looked mischievous and I suddenly felt like I had something to hide. "But in your delirium, you said some things that piqued my interest.".
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh really? I seem to remember you talking about how your mother would have a fit if she found out that you're in love with a common man."
"I- uh," I balked. Had I really said that? Love? No. I didn't even know myself what I felt. "I'm not in love with anyone!" Dorian rolled his eyes.
"Well maybe love is the wrong word, but you did mention feelings and I believe that I heard you whisper a certain name while our healers patched you up." Dorian looked absolutely devious and I could feel a heat rising in my cheeks. "So," he leaned forward and whispered, "Does our illustrious Inquisitor have a taste for strapping young templars?" Chills spread over my body as warmth gathered in my cheeks. I couldn't deny it if I tried. Dorian could always read me like a book.
"Just hush," I hissed, "I'm not even sure of it myself. But I know that I'm not in a position to pursue things like that right now." I shook my head and crossed my arms. Love had no place in my life at the moment.
"That's ridiculous!" Dorian insisted, "Why would you think that?"
"I'm the Inquisitor. I have too many responsibilities to be distracted by frivolous flights of fancy."
"Yes, but you are also a woman. You are entitled to have wants and needs and no one will fault you for that." Dorian softened his voice and looked around. "Come, let us talk elsewhere." Before I could protest, he put a hand between my shoulder blades and pushed me towards the stairs. I rolled my eyes and let him lead me down into the courtyard and up some stairs to the battlements by the tavern. The wind whipped around us and the clash of metal from sparring recruits masked our discussion.
"Dorian, I can't do that. Not with everything the way it is right now." I leaned forward on the wall and sighed. "It just doesn't seem right."
"It's not as if anyone wouldn't understand. The entire world knows what we're up against. Who could fault you for finding a bit happiness with the darkness we face?"
"That's just it! I would fault myself. I can't risk a distraction like that. Not to mention the scrutiny it would put someone under if they were my lover. That wouldn't be fair to them." I put my face in my hands and huffed.
"Honestly Avalina. I think that everyone knows what they would risk if they were with you. No one could possibly go into it blindly." He placed his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.
"Dorian, can we drop this? I don't want to think about something like this. I need to focus." I stood up and looked out over the keep, thinking of the people I was meant to protect.
"Fine. But I'm not done with you. You're being ridiculous." Dorian sighed dramatically. "I'm going back to the library. I finally managed to locate that Genitivi volume and I'm eager to read it."
"Thank you for the company, Dorian. I'm going to go see how the others are doing." As he left down the stairs, I went into the tower that lead into the Herald's rest and took a few minutes to check in on Cole, Sera, and Bull. They all seem relieved to see me walking about and Bull asked me to join him for drinks later that night. I told him I'd try to get away from the paperwork and he laughed his hearty and boisterous laugh that always managed to lighten my mood.
Cassandra was outside with the practice dummies as usual, but rather than slashing at them like normal, she was quietly pacing the area in contemplative thought.
"Am I interrupting?" I asked gently, startling her from her reverie.
"Inquisitor! I was not expecting to see you back on your feet so soon." She strode over to me and I flashed a grin.
"Well you know me! I'm hard to kill and don't stay down for long." Cassandra looked at me, evaluating me. "I just wanted to stop by and check on you and see how you were doing."
"I am fine. I am more worried about you. Is it wise to be exerting yourself this much after your injury? You were gravely wounded." She seemed genuinely concerned and it surprised me to see such compassion from her usually stern self.
"I'm doing much better now Cassandra. It hurts, but it's not something to fret over anymore. Our healers did a fine job and I'm only walking. It's not like I'm sparring with the soldiers." She nodded in acceptance.
"I suppose you are right. Still, do not overexert yourself. It will stall the healing process."
"Are you still upset with Varric?" I asked after a moment of silence. Things had been tense between the two of them ever since Hawke had arrived and they had been arguing about it over most of our journey through Crestwood.
"No. I spoke with Hawke and after she told me why she and Fenris remained in hiding, I couldn't really blame Varric for his actions. He is a loyal friend to them."
"I'm glad to hear that. I hate seeing my friends fight." She smiled softly as I called her my friend and I gasped dramatically. "Cassandra! I do believe that was a grin. I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life." Her smile was quickly replaced with a scowl and I laughed. "Don't worry Seeker, I'll leave you be now. I'm sure you have something to attend to. Maybe an apology to our dear dwarven friend? Let me know if you need anything." I waved goodbye and walked towards the stables to go check on Blackwall.
I didn't stay long to speak with him because he seemed occupied with his woodwork and I did not wish to impose so we simply exchanged a few pleasantries and I told him of the Warden's in Crestwood and of Stroud. He was upset at the Wardens leaving the citizens to the undead, but I did not press him on the matter and left soon after.
After Blackwall, I headed back to the great hall to go speak with the last of my companions. Solas was cool and calm as usual and expressed that he was glad to see me doing well. Leiliana was just as calm, carefully assessing me for any sign of permanent damage. I simply laughed and told her I was feeling fine. Vivienne was diplomatic as she chastised me for not being more cautious, but I could tell she was still happy to see that I was healing quickly.
Varric was more colorful in his expression of relief.
"Maker's balls you bounce back quickly." He said as I approached him by the hearth. "Nothing keeps you down for long huh?" I chuckled and sat in the chair he gestured to across from his.
"Not with healers like ours. I'm pretty sure they brought me back from the dead this time. Remind me to ask Josie if we can give them a raise." I leaned back and took in a deep breath. The stinging pain in my side was starting to get worse so I knew the bitter potion I drank earlier was wearing off, but at least I didn't have to deal with anymore flights of stairs for the moment. "So I spoke with Cassandra."
Varric looked up at me and crossed his arms. "Is she still pissed?"
"Not so much. She isn't punching anything and she told me that she spoke with Hawke. You're apparently a very loyal friend." I said with a small smile. "I hope I can count on you just as much as Hawke does when shit goes south." Varric chuckled and took a swig out of his mug.
"Don't worry. I wouldn't want to be the poor bastard on your bad side." I snorted.
"Varric, I'm not sure you could ever be on my bad side. You're just too charming for me to ever hate." I gave him a wink.
"Inquisitor, are you flirting with me?" He leaned forward, "Because I am spoken for." The humor in his voice was unmistakable.
"I wouldn't dream of stealing you away from Bianca, Varric. What woman could compete with such a fine crossbow?" He chuckled again and I moved to stand up. "As much as I would love to stay here and ask for a story or two, I must go speak with Josephine. I'm sure she has something that needs my attention."
"Alright, Songbird. Don't let me keep you." I stopped and looked at him quizzically.
"Songbird?"
"Your new nickname. I've been pondering it for a few days. I think it fits with the whole musical thing you showed us. And maybe it'll encourage you to play for us some more." I rolled my eyes.
"I'll take it. Better than "Inquisitor" anyhow." I bid farewell to him and make my way over to Josephine's office.
After her initial fretting and my assuring her that I was indeed okay, She settled down and began to list what I had missed while I was away and while I had been unconscious.
"I am pleased to see that you are feeling better. We've had a few more noble families pledge their support while you were away and we've managed to stabilize the Hinterlands. With the Inquisition camps through the area and the Arl back at Redcliffe castle, the rogue mages and templars should no longer pose a threat. There has also been a significant decrease in bandit activity in Crestwood."
"I would certainly hope so. We cleared out their fortress and purged them from the roads. I wouldn't expect much out of them after that."
"Yes, well you mustn't rest on your laurels. But the travelers and citizens of the area are grateful nonetheless. You did a lot of good work in the area and garnered much favor for our cause. Even the Chantry sisters have voiced their support."
" Well that's good to hear. The more chantry voices we have supporting us, the better the people will view us and the easier our job will be."
"Indeed, Your Worship."
"Is there anything else that I need to know?"
"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow at the war table. You will be there I assume." She looked up at me expectantly.
"I will. If that's all, I'll take my leave and let you be. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Inquisitor."
As I was exiting Josephine's office, I nearly collided with a messenger. They apologized and handed me a vial.
"Commander Cullen said that you might be needing this. It's for the pain my lady." He stood up straight and saluted as I took the small vial.
"Give the Commander my thanks. This is helpful."
"Yes, Inquisitor." He turned on his heel and walked away. I looked at the small glass and sighed, knowing the taste that was soon to come, but as Cullen had probably predicted, the pain in my side was creeping back up and making it harder to move without flinching. I made my way back up to my chambers before I gratefully uncorked the vial and drank the potion.
The pile of papers on my desk taunted me as I once again began to read reports and write response letters. Harding was in the Western Approach scouting the area and had set up a base camp for us move forward from. My mother inquired about my health and urged me to be cautious while my brother had sent me a letter warning me that some very distant relatives in the Free Marches were trying to use my name to advance themselves and strongarm others. I wrote back to my mother that I was well and gave her a brief summary of the events in Crestwood. I told my brother that I would find a way to handle it and asked that he do his best to keep my name and the Inquisition's out of the mouths of those who would try to use it to their advantage.
As the light of day was fading beyond the horizon outside my windows, I finished writing my last letter. I rolled my neck around and stood up to stretch my legs. I ran my fingers over the books that filled the shelves behind my desk before I remembered Bull's invitation to join him and the Chargers at the Herald's Rest for a drink.