You all end up eating dinner at a chicken restaurant not far from the blond's apartment. The four of you are sitting on a round table, you squished between the blond and the actor, with the redhead sitting beside Yoosung. The air around the four of you was filled with palpable tension, and you try to focus on your food as the three boys fall into uneasy banter. You find yourself staring at him from underneath your long lashes, and was surprised to find him doing the same, golden eyes clashing with another set of golden eyes. His stare invites you, pulling you in, and you were tempted to just walk up to him and crash your lips to his soft pair. The words he told you reverberated inside your skull, magnifying tenfold, and you bite your lip to keep the waterworks in place. It won't do anybody any good if Zen or Yoosung sees you crying. You quickly drop your gaze back to your plate of chicken and let your soft, brown locks fall from your shoulders, creating a screen between you and him. You quickly dab at your eyes before anyone can see the few tears that still managed to drop despite your pleas.
"Yah, Joohyun. You've been silent for a while now. What's going on inside that pretty little head of yours?"
You look up to see Zen staring at you, his hypnotic red eyes filling with concern. You give him the most reassuring grin you could muster and tell him that you were just thinking about a school project due the week after next. He nods, clearly not convinced, but you silently thanked him for not asking any further. Out of the corner of your eye you see the redhead stare at you, and you try to pretend you didn't notice the worry that ran through his face for a split second as you return to your plate of chicken.
You were thankful when the whole ordeal was over. The four of you paid for your food and bid your good-byes and you turn to go to the opposite direction the rest of your friends were taking when you feel long digits wrap around your slender wrist. You turn around and was met with the familiar black hoodie. You look up and was surprised to see the pain right there in his gold eyes. You had to stop yourself from holding his face, from hugging him. Why does he look so pained?
His free hand caressed your cheek and you find yourself leaning towards his warmth despite your mind shouting at you to stop. He leans in close to you, close enough to feel his warm breath against your face, and you close your eyes and wait. But the kiss didn't happen. You open your eyes again, confused, and look at him to see that the cold expression he has adapted is back. He loosens his grip on your wrist and lets out two words in a harsh tone: "Go away."
Confused and in pain, you free yourself from his grip and blinked back tears. You walked away, wondering if the pained expression you saw was just a trick, and curse yourself for falling for it. When will you stop hurting yourself for him? Why do you keep hurting yourself for him?
You hadn't realized that you'd been crying until you saw your reflection on the window of a music store. Angrily you wipe your tears and felt inside your jeans pocket for your handkerchief. Instead, you pull out a white packet. At first you were confused to see the innocent-looking packet and wondered how it got there. Then you remember the packet Ray gave you. Quickly, you stashed it inside your pocket before anyone would notice, and your legs began to run back to your apartment.
You lock the door once you get inside and quickly made your way to the bathroom, where you know Ray hasn't installed a CCTV. You closed the toilet and laid several pieces of toilet paper on top before you take out the packet. You stare at it for a long while before finally coming to a decision. You ripped the packet open and spread it out on a single file on the toilet paper and looked around for something you can use to inhale the white substance. Your eyes land on a box of soap and you quickly cut it and rolled it.
You sit on the bathroom wall and face the toilet, before inhaling the substance through one nostril. You can fill it coursing through your nose, burning its path, but a sense of euphoria is quickly taking place, and before you know it, you find yourself laughing. You were laughing and shouting and everything is all so funny and you feel like in cloud nine and you didn't want to leave so you open the gate to happiness once again. You were so absorbed in euphoria, laughing by yourself inside that bathroom, and forgetting why you were in so much pain. What was there to be sad about? This is what Ray was talking about. This is paradise, and in there, nothing would ever be able to hurt you.
You call Ray the next day, asking for more. He was by your doorstep within an hour, a smile on his face and a package wrapped in manila paper on his hand.
Ray became your personal dealer. Whenever you give him a call, he comes with a package that'd usually last you a week. Sometimes he stays and the two of you would have a session together. You learn how to balance your grades and your life in RFA. Your lies become flawless, Yoosung and Zen don't even worry about you anymore.
It was one Sunday morning, a few days after Christmas, when you called Ray to deliver a package for you. He decided to stay for a while so you ripped open two packets.
"Joohyun," you hear him call out your name. You look up, high on euphoria, and gave him a stupid smile. You see him hesitate before moving. You realize a second too late what was going to happen. He crashes his lips onto yours. It takes you five, six seconds, and then you're kissing him back, your mind shutting down as you let instinct (or is it the drugs?) take over. You feel his slender arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you closer to him, and your bodies collide. A small part of you can't help but wonder if this is what Luciel's lips would feel like.
You feel him pulling away and you can't help but feel disappointed. "Let's take this to the bedroom," he says in a raspy voice, and you felt your head nod. He stands up, pulling you along with him, and you wrap your limbs around him and he attacks your face and your neck with hot kisses and you feel his legs moving and you can hear the door creaking as it opens and closes but they're all just background noises to you. What's important is the need to be satisfied. One by one the clothes were thrown away and the both of you are naked on the bed with him hovering on top of you and it's lips on lips, limbs on limbs, chest on chest. Whispers of sweet nothings were exchanged your moans fill the room as heat wraps against heat. He's pounding on you, fast and hard, and it's painful and it's pleasurable and you scream out his name. You both fall to the bed after, exhausted, and you fall to a deep sleep.
You wake up, several hours later, and find that you are inside your bedroom, naked. The light isn't on and it was nearing night time, but through the dark you can see another naked figure on the bed, the white of his hair still visible even through the dark, and you cover your mouth to stop the gasp from escaping your lips. What have I done?
A/N: I know I've been gone for a long time but I'm finally back with a new chapter! Sorry it's short : ( I kept you guys waiting and upload a short chapter. I know. I'm frustrated too. But ooohhhh Saeran ooohhh MC ahahahaha. Let me know what you guys think by filling up the comments section below, yeah? Until the next chapter! As always, I thank you all for reading!
-olympicmayhem
P.S: I will post another chapter after I get a review l o l