CHAPTER 14: STEPS

"Over on your island, counting your clocks
Moments move to months, you're living like this too long
Coming last call you stall and tell me
I will never be the one worth breaking
When everyone's gone come say what you mean, for once."
"Steps" - Handsome Ghost

It'd been three weeks. Almost, at least.

He'd expected week one to be difficult, was willing to concede that fitting in might even take two, given how Louisiana was practically a foreign country compared to what he was used to. Nearing the end of week three, however, Riku wouldn't even have imagined he'd still be floundering this badly.

Maybe there was some wisdom in that 'fish out of water' idiom after all. Just his luck.

Because, thus far, each week had presented its own unique difficulties, none easier than the ones that'd come before. Between his off-mark comment about rednecks and trailer classes, and Hayner's resulting offense, the first week had started on an indisputably bad note that'd been hard to recover from. Week two had been an impromptu introduction to Olette and avoiding Seifer mostly, plus intermittent frustration and worry over Sora's weeklong disappearance.

Somehow, despite his subsequent return, this week was turning out no better. Although Riku was aware of the part he'd played in his continued social hardship, he wasn't ready to let Sora off the hook entirely. This had led to uncomfortable study hall silences and curt replies to Sora's attempts at initiating any form of meaningful conversation. By the time study hall came around one day shy of putting week three to rest, the only reason Riku was maintaining even the lightest grasp on an externally presented calm involved the knowledge that open swim was set to commence in under an hour.

Even so, study hall was dragging, had been all week, actually. Ever since he'd excused himself to return Kadaj's call, then avoided resuming any form of conversation upon his return, there'd been a subtle shift in the way both boys approached each other. While Sora was still his usual, amicable self when chatting with Kairi, while he still offered Riku a friendly smile each day in the two classes they shared together, exchanges that'd once been relatively effortless now felt strained, and blue eyes often glanced at Riku with a margin of growing uncertainty.

Riku'd tried rationalizing the situation, attempted to convince himself that everyone was entitled to a certain level of privacy regarding their personal lives. If there was something Riku had trouble swallowing, however, it was a lie so large it was downright indigestible. With that at the forefront of his thoughts, Riku found himself questioning their every interaction. He'd also started wondering why Sora had bothered reaching out to him in the first place, why he'd offered Riku an invite to a party or returned his texts with such consistent diligence.

Every lie, and each day of increasing uncertainty, had soon left him second-guessing the growing evidence that Sora might like Riku the same way Riku liked him.

Moreover, Riku hadn't even managed to pinpoint the significance of his feelings to anything more helpfully specific. He'd had crushes before, had even examined particular attractions closely enough to know what they likely meant. But he'd never had the urge to slap a label on them and make a public announcement. Although it hadn't ever been intentionally discussed, his friends were as clued in as they needed to be, and Riku wouldn't have felt much if someone ended up saying something about it to his parents beyond the usual teenage embarrassment.

Until he'd moved to this town where up was down and public acceptance only seemed to be progressing if he was willing to suspend belief long enough to concede he'd taken a trip back in time to the 90s, Riku'd never had to consider any of this. It was confusing, to an extent even humiliating, thanks in large part to Seifer's constant taunting. Most of all, it involved Sora and a growing realization that the way Riku chose to approach any of this spelled out the stark difference between sailing through his remaining months here or risking an even fiercer form of social rejection from his peers.

Framing their friendship in a manner that was strictly platonic also wasn't working, mostly because he was using Kairi as a means of comparison and it simply didn't align with how they both had been tag-teaming to keep him in the dark about the true reason behind Sora's recent absence.

To Riku, friendship encompassed more than just superficial pleasantries for an hour a day and carefully worded messages via text; it involved a level of honesty and trust that hadn't yet been afforded him. Although he tried his best to reason his way around it, it all still added up to his efforts in some way falling short. Sora was probably just too nice to admit this and officially start avoiding him. That was the only conclusion Riku could reasonable come to based on the available evidence.

Instead, Sora still texted him daily, even if their conversations revolved mostly around safe topics like schoolwork and covert planning for Kairi's upcoming birthday. Yet Riku kept engaging, even if his curt replies were revealing examples that even someone as social cue-oblivious as Neku could probably identify as the textbook definition of passive aggressive.

As it stood, Hayner had pretty much gotten over week one's social flub; and after a period of what probably low-key qualified under the legal meaning of stalking, Seifer had mostly abandoned his active harassment once it'd come to light that Riku was objectively in the dark about whatever was going on between Hayner and Olette. With still more than a week to go before the visit with Kadaj and his other friends, Riku was left with the exclusive concern about where he stood with Sora. Kairi, too, he supposed. She hadn't exactly been the most pleasant to spend time around since she'd noticed his less than genuine attempts at hospitable interactions with her best friend.

If he really believed week four would be an improvement based on weeks one through three, Riku figured he had deeper issues than simply trying to fit in at a backwater bayou high school.

As Sora and Kairi talked quietly beside him, Riku kept his head down and tried his best to appear studious, even though it felt altogether pointless. He'd already secured his spot at Stanford, had earned enough high school credits to graduate last semester. Missing a homework assignment here or there wasn't going to accomplish anything beyond possibly pissing his parents off if they were contacted about it. Pretending to study was still better than jumping into the middle of a conversation about his classmate's anticipated Prom night schedule, even knowing they were just going as friends, so Riku jotted down a few notes in an attempt to keep up the ruse.

By the time the final bell sounded, he was only too eager to pack up. Offering a civil but otherwise aloof good-bye to Sora and Kairi, Riku made his way back to the locker room to get changed for open swim.

Tidus was already present by the time he arrived, same for Wakka. The latter waved from across the room while Tidus nodded a quick acknowledgement. There were a few other boys present who Riku didn't recognize, likely underclassmen. Some gave him a quick once-over before returning to conversations as they changed into swimwear. Riku swapped out his clothes in silence, stowing away his school bag, before following the others over to the showers to wet down.

He was soon making his way down the corridor that separated the boys and girls locker rooms, then out into the aquatics center. The closer he approached, the more Riku felt himself relaxing. Here, he was finally in his element, had been since middle school. Swimming was something familiar as much as it was a form of emotional security, an activity that didn't change regardless of a pool's locality. As soon as it came into view, his eyes settled on the chlorinated undulations of the pool's surface, appreciation readily apparent.

That was probably why he was caught so off-guard when a familiar voice called his name. It took a beat longer to locate the speaker even after he'd turned, since Sora was perched high above him, seated halfway up in the spectator bleachers.

"Looks like you got around to asking your gym teacher about using the pool, after all."

Sora was smiling as he looked down, and Riku felt his cheeks initiate the worst kind of heated mutiny imaginable. For a moment, Riku nearly forgot himself, but his own natural urge to return Sora's smile was never fully realized as he regarded the boy ten bleacher rows above him. He offered a curt nod instead.

"I took the skills test with Tidus last week."

While you were completely MIA...

"Cool."

Sora's smile remained, but Riku looked away, gaze returning to cerulean pool water depths he was still longing to submerge himself into. At least underwater, no one could hear you melodramatically bellow about some stupid, unreciprocated high school crush. After the week he'd been having, it seemed a more than reasonable way to let off some steam, if a bit theatrical.

He turned away from Sora and took a few steps closer to the water.

"I'd be swimming too, usually."

Pausing, Riku made sure to suppress his skeptical expression before looking back over his shoulder. Even if Sora didn't seem to be sporting crutches all the time, he didn't exactly have the physique of a swimmer from what Riku had gleaned of the thin limbs peaking out from his trademark, oversized t-shirts.

He stayed silent as he watched Sora gesture to one of his legs.

"I have to wait another week at least until my ankle heals up."

Okay.

Riku tried to keep his expression neutral.

Sure.

Unable to devise an appropriate reply, Riku just nodded again, and headed over to Tidus without a second glance back in Sora's direction. It was out of character for him to be overtly rude, especially to someone he generally liked; Riku figured this time was justified since it was starting to seem more and more likely that his classmate was some sort of pathological liar.

Standing chest deep at the pool's shallow end, Tidus was bounded by Wakka and Selphie. While Wakka shot Riku a quick grin, Selphie's welcome was less restrained.

"Hi, Riku!"

Arms rising over her head as she launched herself a few inches up and out of the water, her blue-green swimsuit and goggled eyes gave off the appearance of an elated scarab beetle. She made a grab at the divider that halved the open swim area from the lap lanes and splashed Riku up to his knees in the process, earning a look of quiet exasperation from Tidus. The water was cooler than the humid air around him, and Riku found himself looking forward to the anticipated shock of a more thorough immersion, despite its unanticipated induction to his lower half thanks to Selphie's recent antics.

"Hey," he returned. While he included all three of them in his greeting, Riku turned to Tidus to ask his next question. "Everything set for me to swim today?"

Tidus nodded. "All good. Do whatever you want." His gaze shifted to Selphie still gently bobbing beside him. "Within reason."

With a quiet word of assent, Riku picked the first empty lap lane next to where his classmates were congregated. If he hadn't made the rookie error of looking back up toward the bleachers, of locking eyes with one blue-eyed boy in particular, he might have been fine for the rest of the hour.

As it stood, it took most of his willpower just to refocus on the gently lapping pool water in the lane in front of him after getting an eyeful of Sora in the distance.

Crouching down, Riku braced the edge of the pool with a hand. Using one arm to support the rest of his body, he eased himself into the pool. He was soon standing in water up to his chest. Typically, this would have been a precursor to using the wall for leverage as he launched into a slow freestyle for his first few meters of warm-up.

Instead, he glanced toward the bleachers a second time and saw Sora still watching him. Cursing under his breath at the rising sensation of hot self-consciousness, Riku opted for full-body submersion instead, legs relaxing just enough for him to sink below the water's surface.

Underwater, a calming silence, and the sense that his thoughts were finally clearing enough to get himself back on track with the workout he'd come here to accomplish in the first place.

Because this sophomoric concern over having an audience while he was swimming was ridiculous, even if it happened to be Sora. For years now, he'd competed in front of much larger crowds when there'd actually been something at stake, plus teammates who were counting on him. With a definitive kick that propelled his body upward, his head broke the water's surface, hands reaching for the edge of the lane as the pads of his feet pressed into the pool wall. The action was well-practiced, performed without conscious effort. Although the familiar movements were soothing, Riku couldn't help but feel that he remained remiss in telling himself that nothing was at stake here now. Just because he wasn't competing against a rival team didn't mean something far more serious wasn't hanging in the balance.

Whatever it was, he didn't want to think about it, especially when his swim time was so limited.

Careful to keep his gaze away from the spectator area, Riku submerged again, this time face-first as he tucked his knees to his chest and pushed off the pool wall. Steady flutter kicks complimented overhead arm strokes, and he turned his head to one side to take his first measured breath. The pace he set was just rigorous enough to warm up his limbs without worrying about anything beyond simple form. A few more alternating strokes had him reaching the other side of the pool. He performed a shallow, forward somersault, then kicked off the opposite wall, making his way back to his start point.

He opened his eyes a few feet from the wall, not unconscious to the sting of chlorine as much as he was accustomed to tolerating it. Through hazy vision, he spotted two sets of swim trunks, then a fusion of effervescent air bubbles and long, brunette hair tendrils swaying above Selphie as she sat cross-legged and watched him from the pool bottom through a pair of grasshopper-green swim goggles.

The moment their eyes locked, Selphie pushed off, flutter-kicking her way up to the surface. The sound of her bubbly giggles filtered down to him, the sound a modified muffled care of the water separating them.

And this was the girl who wanted to play matchmaker and set him up with a date for Prom… someone send help.

Not stopping to see Selphie's above-water reaction or potentially subject himself to another loaded conversation about upcoming school dances, Riku reached for the wall, deftly switched positions, and kicked off again, this time focusing on his backstroke.

It was a bad choice, in retrospect, mostly because his eyes kept wandering left from the aquatics center ceiling to the spot where he knew Sora was seated and still probably watching him. That, in turn, altered what should have been a straight-line stroke in the center of his swim lane. This became clear an instant later as the back of one hand slapped into the lane divider, effectively stopping him halfway through his first lap, feet sinking and forcing him to tread to keep his head above water.

For a moment, he remained at the pool's midway point, cheeks burning, back to Sora. If he kept this up, Riku silently scolded himself, he might as well go ahead and drown himself to avoid having to justify how his swim skills had gotten so remedial after only a few weeks off. Distractions be damned, this was fucking ridiculous, not to mention majorly embarrassing, given his current audience.

Determined to stay focused, he found his stride again, then upped his pace, treating the stroke like he would any other in practice. By the time he once again made it back to his starting point, he was breathing hard, feeling both out of practice and frustrated at the realization that he was still thinking about Sora.

Why was he here anyway if he was too injured to swim? What was he getting out of just sitting up there in the bleachers, especially if Kairi was popping bubbles and listening to shitty music on an outdated flip phone in the library still just waiting for him?

The questions nagged him for the remainder of the hour; they distracted him through fifty meters of breaststroke, then the same length of a half-assed attempt at the butterfly.

As he completed his warm-up and considered more targeted exercises his polo team coach always ran them through before splitting them up into small teams for more focused drills and practice matches, Riku briefly thought about joining the conversation his classmates were having at the shallow end of the pool.

That might start up a talk about Prom though, something Riku wasn't in the least interested in revisiting with Selphie in the vicinity. Quickly abandoning the idea, Riku didn't slow his pace as he swam past the trio. He spent the rest of open swim hour working his way through basic polo positions and technique, stubbornly keeping his eyes away from the bleachers.

It was only when the lifeguard whistle blew to signal the end of the period, and other swimmers began exiting the area, that Riku allowed himself a quick glance over to where he'd last seen Sora.

Yeah. Still there.

It wasn't exactly surprising that Sora was still present, or that a textbook happened to be visible, open and resting across the tops of his legs. It wasn't even all that odd to see Tidus making his way to the bleachers or striking up a conversation, head tilted up toward Sora's current perch as the two chatted in what seemed like an amicable manner.

What did stand out was how Sora subsequently gestured to his foot, then pulled up his pant leg to reveal the splint cupping his calf and ankle. From a distance, Riku couldn't hear what either was saying, could just see the successive rise and fall of shoulders as Sora laughed at a few words offered up by Tidus below him.

So. Sora seemed to have no issue discussing his physical health with Tidus. As far as Riku could tell, he happened to be Sora's one exception in that regard. Eyes narrowing, Riku felt a wholly different type of heat form at the base of his throat. Unlike the previous feeling that he'd begrudgingly attributed to attraction, this was a stifling sensation that had far more to do with anger only half-successfully repressed. By the time Riku pushed himself out of the water in a sprinkling of teal rivulets, the pool area was almost empty. Wringing excess moisture from his hair, he watched Tidus make one final comment before heading off toward the locker room, even filed away that Sora had offered a quick wave after him.

Intending to follow the same path, Riku made his way around the edge of the pool, toward the bleachers that were situated adjacent the exit, set on getting past Sora and back to his locker as quickly as possible.

It certainly would've helped if Sora hadn't taken the opportunity offered by their momentary proximity to call out to him for the second time in a single hour.

"Looks like you got a good practice in."

The comment seemed deliberately light-hearted, but as Riku glanced up at Sora and noted his pant leg now covering the splint he'd just shown Tidus, Riku felt his jaw set. It locked tight with tension, making it nothing shy of a minor miracle that he was capable of any response at all.

"Yeah."

He didn't even have a chance to glance away before Sora spoke again.

"I bet you could ask Tidus where they store the balls if you need one next week. I sometimes see others throwing them around so I know the school's got some."

"Okay."

This time, Riku did look away, determined to reach the locker room and distance himself from this interaction before his frustration manifested in a way that was more glaringly obvious.

As he took his first steps toward the exit, he heard shuffling above him. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw Sora push himself up off the bleacher seat using the paint-chipped railing for leverage.

"Hey, Riku?"

There was something about his tone, something about the soft way Sora had spoken his name, that traveled straight into Riku's chest and twisted. It was painfully close to a physical spasm for something exclusively emotional. It likewise demanded immediate attention, as much as he'd have preferred to ignore it.

He turned and looked back up at Sora. The sudden awareness of how little he was wearing made him feel exposed, even vulnerable. That, in turn, increased his irritation a rough approximation of ten-fold.

"Kairi said she told you I was sick last week with allergies instead of the stomach flu."

Still quiet, the words settled between them as Riku considered Sora's expression. There was still a hint of friendliness in what remained of his earlier smile, but it didn't seem as effortlessly executed, and his brows were furrowed a little. There was also something different about the way Sora was looking at Riku. Maybe it was fatigue. Maybe he was still recovering. Maybe, maybe, maybe, but whatever. To Riku, it aped the guarded expression Kairi had adopted the moment he'd called her out about the discrepancy in both of their explanations a week ago.

He was so completely over being jerked around at this point.

"And now it's an injured leg," he returned. "I can only imagine what you two will come up with next."

"I did hurt my ankle."

Brows rising at Sora's emphatic response, Riku lowered the volume of his own voice to counter it.

"I don't doubt that." Running a hand through his mess of chlorine-tangled hair, Riku let out a heavy exhale, gaze dropping to the halfway point between spectator railing and concrete floor. "But, look, there's obviously something you'd rather lie about than tell me. Maybe it's my fault for prying, or calling Kairi out, or…whatever." He fixed Sora with a cool look. "Whatever," he repeated. "I'm over it."

This time, he made it an arms length away from the exit before the dull clang of crutches connecting with the bleacher's metal rail frame stopped him.

"Don't leave like this. Please."

Reaching for the door that would take him one step closer to the lockers and away from this hot mess of high school melodramatics, it took his last ounce of willpower to ignore the sound of Sora's pleading voice.

"Riku!"

The heat returned, neck muscles tensing as the desperation in Sora's tone registered. Riku paused, craned his neck, and glanced over one shoulder but didn't fully turn back toward the bleachers.

"What?"

Textbook and school bag abandoned, Sora was struggling to make his way down the narrow steps, the hollow clack of his crutches' rubber feet echoing in the cavernous, empty pool area. He stopped halfway down, the effort it had taken as obvious as the rise and fall breaths that accompanied it, and Riku was left to contend with the welling concern that Sora might end up losing his balance and injuring himself further in an attempt to get down to him. When their eyes next met, it took far more effort for Riku to maintain an inscrutable expression.

A minute, he silently conceded. That was the time he'd allow himself to hear whatever excuse Sora was on-the-fly devising as the silence dragged past the thirty second mark and Sora's expression turned from panicked to subtly defensive. A minute and he was officially leaving, regardless of how forlornly his name was volleyed back at him the next time around.

"Sixty percent."

Uh.

Come again?

Not following, Riku shook his head. The motion sent damp tresses swinging above his shoulders. Riku hardly noticed in the wake of newfound confusion.

"What?"

He watched as Sora caught his breath, eyes never straying from his, the intensity behind them gripping, effective in keeping Riku from saying anything more.

"That's the chance I have of going deaf by the time I'm thirty."

Caught off-guard, Riku found himself at a loss for words beyond what he'd already repeated. He turned, arm falling away from the door handle and settling by his side, as he moved to face Sora more fully and tried to search his thoughts for a response to what he honest-to-god hoped wasn't a complete non-sequitur — or another lie, for that matter.

But Sora wasn't done, didn't seem particularly put off by Riku's stunned silence. In fact, now that he'd started speaking, he seemed dead-set on saying his piece.

"And seven is the number of operations I've had." He offered the figure and its corresponding explanation with a small shrug. "Should've been more but insurance hasn't always been the simplest to deal with, and my mom works long hours which makes for a lot of scheduling conflicts."

A slight nod was all Riku could muster, impassive expression faltering as Sora barreled on with clipped words and a somber, determined look.

"Here's another: forty-five."

He continued to hold Riku's gaze, but the intensity was starting to ebb into something that seemed far more resigned.

"That's how many bones I'd broken, dislocated, or otherwise wrecked by the time I was ten. I don't know the official total, because I stopped counting when I got to middle school." Although he was still looking down at Riku, Sora's voice was quieter when he spoke again, as though he was speaking more to himself than his present, one-person audience. "Never bothered counting the scars, but they're a lot easier to keep track of, seeing as how they'll be with me forever."

"I …"

Finding his voice didn't correlate with knowing what to say, Riku was quick to realize.

What, Riku silently chided himself. He what? Had already looked up every medical condition that fit the bill based on his own in-school observations and the supplemental info his mom had provided? Was slowly coming to the conclusion that knowledge didn't equate to an inherent ability to swallow this choking swell of encroaching reality when it was laid out plain before him, finally?

Before he could form a response that likely would've fallen far short regardless, Sora raised a hand and effectively cut him off.

"You're seeing me differently now."

"No." Riku balked at the bald truth of the statement, found himself trying to back-pedal. "I'm no—"

"You are." Sora's voice was firm. "Everyone does when they find out. Shock becomes pity and that morphs into avoidance, eventually." He ticked off each word like a list that'd been rote-memorized. "But before they suddenly get too busy to give me the time of day, guess who gets to act like it doesn't really bother me so they don't feel secondhand-bad for asking in the first place?"

This time when Riku opened his mouth, he didn't even manage a single, stuttered word. Unperturbed, Sora forged onward.

"And I get it. I really do. That's why I keep such a short list of friends." Above him, Sora shifted. Nudging a crutch under one arm, he leaned against the railing with the other. "It's also why I was trying to postpone telling you for as long as possible."

"Oh."

That …actually made sense. But, god, did he sound like an idiot with all these monosyllabic responses, useless to contribute anything worthwhile since he was still struggling to find an appropriate way to translate his muddled thoughts into something verbally sensical.

At least Sora was more than making up for it.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I had Kairi lie to you for me." For the first time since he'd started speaking, Sora looked away. The moment he dropped eye contact, he also started to look smaller, more vulnerable, shoulders rounding. "It was just nice to meet someone for the first time in long while who didn't know all the finer points about my medical background."

Swallowing hard, the angry heat transformed to an uncomfortable chill as Riku surveyed the look of quiet defeat that had settled across the features above him.

"Sora…"

"I get if you don't want to talk to me anymore. I kind of freaked when I thought I was gonna have to tell you about this before I was ready, so I guess I just—"

"Sora."

Finally falling quiet, Riku saw Sora's lower lip disappear beneath the upper, expression a picture of pure uncertain. He waited just long enough to feel confident Sora wouldn't start talking again. As much as possible, he wanted to ensure his response was heard and fully understood.

"I'm sorry, too."

The bottom lip made a reappearance as Sora opened his mouth a little. Anticipating the impending protest, Riku sucked in a quick breath and continued, as determined to say his piece now as Sora'd been minutes earlier.

"I'm sorry I made you explain yourself when it wasn't any of my business. I'm sorry I've been taking everything so personally lately, and I'm really sorry if it seems like I've been acting like an ass and punishing you for not telling someone you've only known a few weeks every single little private detail about your personal life."

Painful truths had a strange way of compounding once spoken. Embarrassed, Riku ducked his chin, not bothering to tuck away the wet tendrils of hair that fell into his face this time around.

"To be honest, I don't really care about the medical stuff, but I do want to get to know you better. I feel like I've been acting totally irrational about pretty much everything since you got back."

"Yeah, well." Although he didn't look up, Riku could hear Sora fidgeting above him. It was followed by a light scoff. "Seems like it's been spreading. Because I also could've handled this entire thing a whole lot better myself."

A flash of movement had Riku glancing back up just in time to see Sora pull out his buzzing phone. He eyed the lock screen, then made a face.

"I have to get going. My ride's out front waiting on me."

Thought quickly materializing, Riku froze in the middle of an assenting nod and chose his next words carefully.

"Maybe I could drive you home instead?"

For long moment, both boys regarded one another. It was Sora who finally broke the silence, head tilting toward one shoulder in his overt confusion.

"I thought you didn't have a car."

"I didn't." Ignoring the way his hair whipped against his face with the subsequent motion, Riku shook his head. "My parents finally got around to car shopping last weekend."

"Oh." Sora's expression remained hesitant. Uncertain. "It's just, my house is clear across town. You'd be going out of your way."

It sounded like Sora was trying to find a polite way to decline, but Riku wasn't quite ready to give up.

"My dad doesn't get back from the coast until tomorrow, and Mom's shift ends at ten, so no one will notice if I get home later than usual. It's seriously no trouble."

Alright, sure, he could always chat with Neku online, maybe hash out some rough plans for the visit with Kadaj via phone or text. The prospect of righting any lingering wrongs with Sora trumped both at the moment.

"I mean, it's up to you," he tacked on. "Either way, no pressure."

Something had changed about Sora's expression as Riku rushed through his final comment. Blue eyes lowered as the corners of Sora's mouth subtly quirked upward. It didn't quite qualify as his usual wide smile, but it did lift his cheekbones enough for Riku to notice their newly augmented glow. Just as subtly, the telltale heat returned at the behest of renewed fluttering in his own stomach. This time, he accepted the sensation with the knowledge that it had nothing to do with anger.

"Okay."

Riku blinked, not convinced he'd heard correctly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Another smile greeted his searching eyes, this one brighter, more fully defined. "Just give me a sec to text Kairi and put up my books."

"No rush." It took concerted effort not to talk over the tail-end of Sora's sentence in the wake of his excitement. "I need to change back into street clothes anyway."

This time when blue eyes fixed themselves on him, they seemed to sparkle with subtle amusement.

"I bet. Wouldn't want to go prancing down the halls in that little number, I'm guessing." Though quietly murmured, Sora's smile took an impish turn, and Riku found himself suddenly self-conscious about the clothes he was wearing — a decided lack thereof, more accurately. "Let's meet at the other end of the locker room in a couple minutes, okay?"

Worried his voice might reveal how ruffled Sora's comment had gotten him, Riku merely nodded, then turned back to the exit. Reaching for the door, he pulled it half open, then hesitated and looked back.

"Do… do you need any help?"

The return response was less a rebuff than a breathy, dramatized huff.

"Child, please. I've got this. I'm practically bionic."

Accent intensifying, Sora offered a quick wink to complement an already cheeky grin. Twisting on his crutches, he made his way back up to his belongings with masterful speed, leaving Riku to sprint toward the locker room, feeling equal amounts elated as he was flustered by the surprising turn this afternoon had taken.

o - o

He woke in stages the next morning, and the first was incertitude. While true that for once he wasn't default dreading getting through another school day, Riku found he couldn't entirely account for this change of heart in his first moments of mentally muddled consciousness.

Stage two was one large sucker punch of emotional recall, as Thursday's heated exchange and its subsequent resolution came flooding back without so much as a second of courtesy forewarning.

Skepticism followed next as he struggled to separate the night's dreams from yesterday's reality. After a few weeks of near constant social fuck-ups, it was in some ways easier to believe he'd imagined the entire last twelve hours instead of truly, firsthand experienced it.

Fourth was the objective best, as it involved increasing awareness and a more discerning thought process. As Riku rolled onto his side, then pushed himself upright, the distinctions between fantasy and actuality became easier to identify. Once sorted in his mind, he could aim for stage five and attempt to retain a modicum of dignity as he tried to quell his giddy anticipation at the prospect seeing Sora again in just a few hours.

He got dressed in a brand name t-shirt and another pair of high-end jeans, then spared a few minutes to root through his remaining unpacked boxes until he located a zip-up vest without an externally visible brand logo. He still hadn't had time to go shopping for clothing more suited to this town, although he was determined to change that this weekend now that he had access to a car. In the interim, Riku supposed the vest would do, even though it was becoming increasingly unrealistic to wear layers as the season got steadily warmer.

His messenger bag lay by his desk where he'd dropped it the night before, unopened. Even if he'd had assignments to finish, he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on them, so Riku supposed it was fortuitous that he was already well ahead in his classes. Reaching for the strap, he pocketed his phone, then headed out of his room and toward the kitchen.

The smell of coffee grounds filtered up to him at the top of the stairs. Rich and buttery, the scent reminded him of home more than anything else in this setting. Vietnamese coffee had a distinctive smell, of caramel and condensed milk. Descending the stairs, Riku set his bag by the front door, then angled over to the kitchen, where he caught sight of his mother.

Back turned to Riku, she was already dressed in the indigo scrubs of TG Memorial Hospital's supervising staff members. The only thing missing was the white coat she generally wore over it, along with a pinned-on plastic name label.

As Riku entered the kitchen, his mother turned, offering him a weary smile on the heels of a quiet, "good morning."

Making his way over to the counter, eyeing the French press and its coils of emanating mist, Riku echoed the greeting, then considered his mom's odd choice of clothing.

"Don't you usually get changed at the hospital?"

"Usually." His mother nodded. "I got home so late last night that I didn't bother to change out of them. I'm scheduled to head back in a few hours, so I'll just freshen up there when I have a free moment."

While his mom's shift had technically ended at ten, it wasn't abnormal for her to stay later. Absent parents was business as usual for Riku, whether they were in Louisiana or back home in San Francisco.

Eyes traveling back to the coffee press, his mom stepped aside, reaching up to an overhead cabinet as she retrieved two glasses and held them out to him.

"I thought I'd try making cà phê sữa đá. If you can fill these with ice, I'll mix in the condensed milk."

As the glasses transferred hands from mother to son, Riku tried to conceal the look of surprise that accompanied his mom's comment as he headed toward the freezer. Making Vietnamese coffee wasn't difficult, even lacking a phin filter; his parents just never bothered with cooking projects back home, however simple, in turn leaving him to spend a small fortune at locally run businesses whenever he wanted a caffeine fix — or food of any sort, really. It occurred to him that his mother's attempts at kitchen conversation might be some overdue undertaking to make up for years of offspring disregard. Then again, a lack of readily available take-out options was just as likely, or coffee shops that brewed cà phê đá near the hospital, in this instance.

The last thought highlighted Riku's cynicism at its finest, but wasn't derived from any genuine resentment. Riku was accustomed to the freedom that came with parents married more to their professions than each other. It meant never getting grounded, and rarely being questioned about his weekend plans or after-school outings. As long as he didn't come home overtly stoned or sporting a school progress report with grades that placed his impending matriculation at Stanford in jeopardy, Riku's ability to do virtually anything during his free time remained all but guaranteed.

If anything, the scarcity of public transit, app-accessible ride shares, or a dedicated car of his own had been more isolating than anything his parents had ever imposed on him.

This was about as relevant as Radiant High's version of nineteenth century revisionist Civil War history now that his parents had gone car shopping. Plus with the about-face his angst-ridden dealings with Sora had taken in the span of one afternoon open swim session, the timing was close to perfect.

He opened the freezer, depositing a handful of ice cubes into each glass before elbowing the door closed and returning to the counter. During that time, his mother had retrieved a fresh can of condensed milk after emptying what remained of the last into the first glass, and was in the process of puncturing a small hole in it with the sharp end of a manual can opener.

She filled each glass until the creamy substance coated their bottoms, rising about an inch and engulfing some of the cubed ice each glass housed. Riku, in turn, reached for the French press, pushing the filter as far as it would go, until the coffee grounds were pressed down firm and separated from the drinkable liquid in the remaining space of the carafe.

He rotated the press' handle toward his mother and watched as she poured the steaming liquid over the contents of both glasses. A fine mist curled upward as hot coffee met ice, and its naturally darker shade softened when intermingled with the condensed milk at the bottom. A quick swirl of a spoon was the final step before both drinks were ready.

His mother took a sip from her glass, then reached for her phone, no doubt to check in on work emails. Meanwhile, Riku found his mind wandering back to yesterday, to unanticipated arguments and a resolution that had been even less predicted. From there, his thoughts shifted to the car ride across town and a neighborhood he'd never visited, plus Sora's good-natured teasing about a new-model vehicle that cost more than a year of private college tuition.

It'd been followed by a smile so freely offered that Riku found himself grateful for the dual-purpose excuse driving provided in both keeping his eyes on the road and somewhat settling his pent-up nervousness.

"You seem to be in a good mood today."

His mother's voice pulled him out of his daydream reverie and Riku looked up, set to ask what she meant until he realized he'd been unconsciously smiling.

"Yeah." He schooled his expression a little, mindful of how infrequently he revealed physical manifestations of his inner feelings around either parent. "Well, it's Friday."

It was a bullshit response, something any one of his friends would have called him straight out on. His mom seemed to accept the explanation at face value, however, and that wasn't surprising; it wasn't like either of them knew the other well enough to notice discrepancies between a statement and its follow-up facial expression.

"You must be looking forward to seeing your cousin and friends soon."

"I am," Riku said, then took a long sip of his coffee to justify his next lapse into silence. Not that his mom seemed to be expecting a longer response, having already returned to scrolling down the screen of her iPhone.

Leave it to either one of his parents to miss the mark entirely when it came to his social life. Some things never changed, at least.

For a second, he considered switching subjects, maybe even bringing up Sora and asking for more details about his medical condition. Now that they were talking again though, now that Riku no longer felt like he was being purposefully kept in the dark, he had less interest in digging and more confidence that he could just ask Sora about anything he was still curious to know. Ultimately, he said nothing. It was his mother who spoke first when the conversation picked up again.

"Remind me to call your aunt so we can book a hotel for next weekend." Although his mom was now looking away from her phone, her eyes were directed over his shoulder, expression more thoughtful than focused. "The travel agency she uses should be able to handle the arrangements. I just need to stay on top of her to actually call them."

Considering his aunt Yuka had opted for an early retirement after the sale of his uncle's second startup and was more likely to be posting photos of herself to Facebook from a beach in Maui, or Cabo, or wherever the whim suited her, rather than worrying about anything as simple as a weekend trip to New Orleans, Riku couldn't help but feel the biggest obstacle his aunt still had to juggle was making sure Kadaj didn't slack off and tank his grades two months from graduating. He downed the rest of his drink but kept the thought to himself.

"I should head out so I'm not late for school."

His mother looked up as he deposited the glass and its half-melted ice into the sink, then washed out the lingering white of remnant condensed milk still clinging to its beveled sides with a carefully directed stream of tap water.

"Your father should be home around seven or eight. Will you be back by then to help make dinner?"

Although it was posed as a question, Riku sensed the underlying directive and nodded.

"I don't have plans tonight, so I'll be home."

Satisfied in having achieved her newfound aim of heightened parental attentiveness, his mom returned to her phone and Riku exited the kitchen. He made his way to the front foyer to retrieve his messenger bag, then headed outside to the car designated for his use for the next handful of months, relieved to finally be getting the day started.

Because leaving the house meant being one step closer to school. More important, it would get him ever closer to seventh period study hall and a boy he no longer had any underlying qualms about talking to for the first time in weeks. Quite the opposite, actually. That, in itself, seemed nothing short of a welcome miracle.

o - o

If he had to place bets on it, Riku figured most people wouldn't generally pin him as an individual who was particularly impatient; he took things in stride and was usually even content to wait for highly anticipated events to unfold at their own pace. Compared to others his age — Kadaj, especially — Riku probably qualified as a wizened sage at playing the wait-game.

That being said, by the end of first period he was starting to wonder if every visible timepiece had slowed to half its usual speed, was possibly even engaging in low-key, Riku-focused mockery. Even his iPhone seemed to in on the plot, with a digital read-out just as deliberately slow as the Senior English trailer's wall clock. At this delayed pace, fifty minutes was easily beginning to feel like literal decades.

It followed that by the time he got to study hall, he was probably going to be aging out of the American workforce, maybe even suffering from such an acute form of Alzheimer's that he wouldn't remember Sora anyway.

Second period promised to be worse, because it was the sole other class he and Sora had together. As expected, it only took one small smile aimed his way from the back of the classroom to make his stomach twist into anticipatory knots. Then, another handful of minutes that crawled by like months, even worse than during first period since he knew Sora's whereabouts and couldn't so much as turn and steal a glance behind him without attracting unwanted classmate attention or a potential call-out from their teacher.

By the time class ended, Riku still couldn't bring himself to look back, having spent most of the hour zoning out and mentally revisiting yesterday's exchange in the aquatics center, Sora's teasing final comment and corresponding wink, especially. This lack of focus with respect to his outward surroundings was probably why it felt so jarring when Sora called out to him the moment class was officially dismissed.

Bent over and in the midst of stuffing a textbook back into his bag before executing another mad dash across campus to the trailers where his third period class was located, Riku froze at the sound of Sora's voice. He looked up, tried to quickly prepare himself for the same smile that'd greeted him before class. Sora was holding up a hand instead, signaling him to wait as he turned back to retrieve his crutches from a built-in wall cabinet directly behind his desk.

As Riku watched, he realized he'd never seen where Sora stored his crutches before today, despite engaging in almost obsessive observation since he'd first been put on notice that Sora sometimes relied on them to get around. Some days, Sora must not need them, Riku had reasoned, as he recalled the Friday night walk from the muddy parking lot to the marsh campground. Other times, Riku figured Sora must keep them somewhere at school; he'd seen Sora heading to his ride with them on a day when they'd been nowhere in sight in study hall a few weeks earlier, after all.

These crutches were different, looked like a standard, hospital-issued set someone would get after an accident, rather than the more customized pair Riku had first spotted. As Sora balanced against one crutch and adjusted the other, Riku mentally set aside the discrepancy and straightened, sliding his bag over one shoulder, all the while trying not to feel awkward to be watching without offering assistance.

Help wasn't needed anyway, Riku soon realized. Despite the crutches, Sora was quickly making his way over with movements that were assured, if not as smooth as the gait of someone walking on two fully functioning legs.

"Happy Friday." Sora gave him a quick once over before meeting his eyes. "And nice vest."

Eyes tapering as he spoke, the subtle smile that followed was a good indication his words were meant to be teasing. There was a comfortable casualness in the way Sora approached conversations, and that hadn't been altered by the nature of their exchange yesterday. It was encouraging, if not fully effective in allaying Riku's own latent anxiety. Despite an attempt at playing it cool, his return greeting encompassed a single syllable word, uttered at a volume that was debatably audible.

His quiet reply didn't seem to faze Sora in the least; he continued to lead the conversation while Riku tried to play a silent form of catch-up between mind and mouth so he wouldn't continue to look like a tongue-tied moron.

"Your next class is outside, right?"

Riku nodded, then tripled his last word count. An admirable effort, he decided, under the circumstances.

"Same for you?"

That didn't seem quite right. Even though he was usually in a hurry to make it across the school between second and third period classes, he was almost positive he'd have noticed Sora present among the students who tended to loiter outside between bells.

Confirming his hunch with a shake of his head, Sora led the way toward the front of the room and out into the hall. Riku followed a few steps behind, careful to keep enough distance to avoid clipping the bottom of a crutch with the front of his shoe. The last thing he needed was to send Sora sprawling via a preventable misstep on his part.

"All my classes are inside. But third period's on the way to the trailers so I thought we could walk partway together." He paused to look back toward Riku. "Or you can walk. I'll hobble."

His small smile blossomed into a full-out grin, apparently appreciative of the humor in a comment aimed at his own self-deprecation. Still not sure where this was going, Riku returned a more tentative version of the same expression and habitually tucked a few stray hairs behind an ear before answering.

"Okay, sure."

With Sora's slower pace, there was a high chance he'd be late for his next class. Given his present company, Riku found himself caring very little. Nevertheless, he wasn't oblivious to the silent attention his peers were leveling at them as they made their way down first one hallway and then another. Whether it was aimed at Sora and his crutches or the fact that they were walking side-by-side together was less simple for him to determine. Since it didn't seem to be bothering Sora, Riku decided to adopt a similar attitude and keep his gaze directed vaguely forward.

At first, Sora said nothing, seemingly content just to walk beside Riku on their way toward the side of the school that led out to the senior class trailers. As students filed into classrooms and the halls thinned out without the faintest hint of a gay slur on the horizon, Riku found himself relaxing, even starting to savor this additional time with Sora he hadn't factored in to his earlier estimation.

"Thanks again for driving me home yesterday."

Safe and conversational, the topic was an effective way to break the silence between them. Still unsure how to move beyond standard small-talk, Riku said nothing, just nodded to indicate he'd heard, eyes still trained forward. At least his face wasn't burning like yesterday. He supposed he should be grateful. Just the same, his inability to hold a conversation for longer than two seconds was seriously frustrating him at the moment.

"And sorry for not inviting you in," Sora continued, apparently not put off by Riku's enduring silence. "If we had a set time for dinner, you probably would've been welcome to stay for it, but that's not really how things work with my family."

Riku remembered that too, since he'd been an ambiguous mix of relieved and disappointed when Sora had merely thanked him for the ride, retrieved his crutches, then disappeared behind a creaky screen door into his home with a quick, departing wave. While it'd have been nice to see Sora's house and spend more time together, he'd been less enthused by the prospect of getting roped into an awkward conversation with Sora's parents, or even Roxas. He decided to consider the ultimate outcome a positive neutral, with room for improvement.

"It's fine."

His words were quiet, possibly lost in the din of milling students around them. Noting the time on a wall clock, Riku mentally primed himself for the one minute bell warning.

"My family's a little …um." As Sora trailed off, he also slowed, lips pursing as though he was trying to choose his words carefully. He stopped a few feet away from what Riku assumed was his third period classroom, eyes darting around them like he wasn't entirely sure where to look. "They can just be a little overwhelming for first-timers, is all."

"Yours and mine both." Riku offered a rueful smile. "That's probably true for anyone's family, though."

Finally, a full sentence and a reason to be proud of himself, despite being inspired by the strained exchanges his parents had been trying to pass off as bonding moments with him lately. Now, to follow it up with something reassuring, and maybe salvage this entire six minutes.

"Maybe, yeah."

The words contradicted an expression still heavy with doubt. As Sora looked up again, the half-boiled thought that Riku'd been in the process of forming promptly dissolved as their eyes met and Sora started talking again.

"Anyway, I know this is going to sound super nerdy, and nowhere near as fun as a campfire marsh party... but I was fixing to go to the library tomorrow to do some studying. I don't know if you'd want to join me for that, but if not, maybe we could meet up and hang out after?"

Although Sora was still looking at him, his expression was hard to interpret. Trying to make sense of the deluge of twangy words his ears had just been flooded with, at first Riku just stared, until the silence between them started to feel awkward.

By the time he'd fully processed what had been said, his ears were ringing with the shrill sound of the one minute warning bell.

Awesome.

And yeah, he was definitely going to be late today, probably hella irritable too considering how poorly he was handling what should've been a straightforward exchange of words.

As Riku maintained his silence, Sora's gaze shifted sideways, then down to the floor between them. He started fidgeting with a rung on one crutch a moment later.

"Or grab food or, I dunno, just something that gets me out of the house. All the mandatory rest I got last week's gone and made me more than a little stir crazy."

A teacher appeared beneath a classroom doorway, arms crossed over her chest as she fixed the few remaining students malingering in the vicinity with a pointed look. Still trying to wrap his mind around Sora's latest comments, Riku hardly noticed.

Was it possible …?

Could Sora be asking him out? Kind of?

Studying at a library wasn't exactly the stuff of most dream dates. In fact, it was more like a majority extension of their standard interactions since they'd first met. Riku knew this.

He also knew a routine meet-up for the singular purpose of doing homework didn't warrant the signs of self-consciousness Sora was now displaying, however unconsciously.

There'd be plenty of time to dissect this later, to assess each word and consider the tone in which it'd been uttered. Right now, Sora was waiting for an answer, and they needed to get to class before the teacher he'd finally noticed wrote them both up for willful tardiness.

"That'd be cool." Riku nodded, careful to keep his own tone casual. Meet on the weekend, and do some studying. Grab food. Get Sora out of the house. He could handle this. Totally. "Even the library bit."

Sora's smile was immediate, and Riku felt the corners of his own mouth lifting in response to it. Before his mutinous cheeks could give everyone else left in the hall enough evidence for a months-worth of LGBT-themed verbal arsenal, he ducked his head a little, allowing his hair to obscure a portion of his face.

"I'll drive us if you can give me directions from your house to the library."

The final bell sounded before Sora could reply; his emphatic nod gave Riku more than enough of an answer, however. Still framed beneath her classroom door, the teacher cleared her throat and Riku took a few quick steps toward the outdoor exit as good-faith proof that he was leaving. Unable to help himself, he stopped and stole a quick glance back at Sora who shot him a look that seemed equal parts innocently contrite as it did delighted.

With a flutter of fingers, then a flurry of quick crutch maneuvers, Sora disappeared into a classroom, and Riku began sprinting toward his own class.

He ended up late and breathing hard by the time he burst through the trailer door, earning a sharp word from the teacher, plus a strict warning about repeat offenses. A few choice words also filtered over to him in the form of a not-so-subtle whisper about 'gay-ass vests' from none other than Seifer. Business as usual, Riku told himself. Maybe some things weren't actually meant to change with time.

In light of the plans he'd just made with Sora, however, for once absolutely none of that mattered.