Frostbite

Chapter 4

….

I pushed my way through the crowds, keeping my hands in my pocket just in case. I could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket but ignored it, desperate to get away. I couldn't go back, not after what I did. The image of my friends' terrified faces would forever haunt my mind.

I couldn't go to my apartment obviously and if I used my credit card they could track me down so I needed to find somewhere, with no people so I could hide away for a few days. I walked for hours, blisters appearing on my feet as my heels painfully rubbed against them and my stomach starting to grumble from the lack of food.

Eventually I came by an abandoned warehouse, I tentatively looked inside. The roof was broken and there was a puddle of water on the floor from the recent rain but it was decent enough to rest for now.

I curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, pulling my coat over myself as I shivered from the autumn air and sobbed.

….

The next few days passed uneventfully but there was a small problem. I was running out of money. I needed to go back to my apartment and get whatever I had lying around but I had no way of knowing if anyone was there, waiting for me to come back.

I pulled the edges of my hat down further as I made my way through the city, thank god I always carried an extra pair of clothes in my bag or I would have had to stay in the same clothes for the last few days.

I decided to go when it was night time, less chance of anyone seeing my face and everyone should be at home or busy. I'm less than a hundred metres from my apartment when I feel someone start to walk behind me, I quickly glance over my shoulder and see a man in a thick leather jacket and worn out jeans less than two metres behind me.

He notices me looking and quickly speeds up, standing in front of me so I have to stop "Hello there beautiful, what is a girl like you doing out on the streets alone at night?" he sneers and I can smell the scent of beer and cigarettes on his breath. "I-I live just up there" I say pointing at my apartment building in case he didn't believe me.

He takes a look and I take this as my chance, rushing past him in an attempt to get away. His hand clamps around my wrist and stops me abruptly, yanking my shoulder.

"Ow! Let go of me" I snap, pushing at his hand. I stop all movements when he pulls out a gun.

"Now there's two ways this can go. You can come with me quietly and I won't have to hurt you or we can do this the hard way" he mutters under his breath as he pokes the gun into my back.

I have an idea of what he is going to do to me and before I know it rage fills me, before I can stop myself I grab onto his wrist. He gasps and tenses up, the gun clattering to the ground.

"You are never going to hurt another person again" I snarl as my grip tightens. The same white mist appears from my hand around my grip on his wrist and he starts to go pale, his breath shuddering as his body shakes.

He starts to go blue as frostbite starts to appear on his arm, burning his skin and causing it to go black and blue. I can feel his warmth seep into me, warming me up and burning away the cold inside me. It's intoxicating, for the first time in months I feel alive again.

But then I hear him cry out and I realise what I'm doing, immediately releasing my grip on his wrist and watching as he falls to the ground, gasping and clutching his arm. I feel sick to my stomach, bile rising in my throat as I run away from him, away from my apartment. This was a mistake, coming back was a mistake and now I was turning into the monster I didn't want to be.

…..

The next day

Barry's POV

"Has she called you back? Or replied to any of your texts yet?" I ask Cisco in frustration as I come in to work.

"Nothing, I called her mum to ask if she was there and she said she hadn't even talked to Caitlin in almost a year" He says, glancing at Caitlin's empty desk.

"She's been gone for 4 days, I'm worried about her. Maybe I should ask Joe if he can do anything" I say as I frown, deep in thought.

"If you tell them she's a metahuman they're going to treat her like she's a villain and that will only make things worse. We need to do this carefully" he says as he logs onto his computers.

I nod and sit at my desk, trying to think of places she might have gone. My phone buzzes as Iris texts me but I ignore it, I'll text her back later. I needed to focus at the moment.

Suddenly Cisco yells out and I flash over to his desk, causing papers to fly everywhere.

"Geez dude, thanks" He mutters sarcastically as I wave him off, desperate to know what he had found.

"A guy was admitted to the hospital last night with frostbite on his arm, he said a woman grabbed him and did it" he says pointing to the article on the computer "And I did a check on heat signatures on the city and there was a massive drop in temperature in that old warehouse out on O'Brien road"

"So that's where she is"

"Either that or there is another metahuman with ice powers running around Central city"

I flash into my suit and memorise the address of the place where Caitlin is hiding out before running off. I make it to the warehouse in seconds and I immediately feel the temperature change, I can see the windows are misted over so I assume that she's inside, causing.

I cautiously enter the building; the place is frozen over. There are icicles coming out of the walls and ceiling and the floor is covered in a layer of ice. Snow swirls around Caitlin who is in the middle of the room, curled up on the floor and shaking. I brave the snowstorm and slowly approach her, as I get closer I realise that she is sobbing, pulling at her white streaked hair in anguish.

…..

Caitlin's POV

I couldn't control it; the terror and the pain was consuming me and I was too tired to stop it. I could hear the sound of the wind roaring in my eyes as I curled on the floor and covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the sound.

"Caitlin?"

I shake my head, clamping down on my ears harder, he wasn't here, he couldn't be here.

"Caitlin it's me"

My eyes snap open and I move slowly, turning around in the midst of the snowstorm I had created. Barry was a few metres away from me, approaching me slowly as if he didn't want to spook me.

"You shouldn't be here! It's not safe!" I shout, moving away on the floor from him "Please just go! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Well I'm not going anywhere until I talk to you" he shouts, moving forward again.

"Barry stop! I'm not safe to be around!"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"Why? I'm a monster! I'm exactly the same as Killer Frost! I could have killed that man!" I cry out, the terror getting a grip on me again.

"Exactly! You could have but you didn't! You chose not to! You're not a monster Caitlin, what happens next, it's up to you. You can let the fear control you or you can fight. Please, just let me help you" he says, stretching out a hand.

I look at it hesitantly, internally debating on whether or not I should take it. How could I come back from this? I had hurt people, almost killed Barry, what if I couldn't control it and someone got hurt again or worse? I couldn't bear it.

He seems to sense my hesitation and grabs my hand. I try to pull away, petrified of hurting him but he grabs on tighter, ignoring the chill as my body immediately starts taking his warmth.

"B-Barry! Please let go! I'm going to hurt you!" I scream, desperately trying to pull away again.

"No. No you're not, look at me" when I refused to look him in the eyes he spoke again "Look at me Cait" he spoke softly and I looked up, teary brown eyes meeting warm green ones "I trust you Caitlin, you can stop this" he says despite his trembling

He starts to go pale and I sob, the storm around me worsening. He sees my panic and squeezes my hand again, reassuring me. "I trust you Cait".

I feel as if there is this invisible tether connecting me to him through our interlocked hands, bringing me back and soothing the ache inside my chest. I nod, focusing on just his face and how unbearable life would be without him and slowly the storm dies down and I take back in all the snow and ice I had unleashed.

I eventually let go of his hand and he falls to the ground, gasping as the colour starts to reappear in his face. I take a few steps back, wary of being too close until he's okay again and gestures for me to sit on the floor next to him. I'm beat from using my powers so I tentatively sit down beside him.

"I'm sorry… for using my powers on you. I never meant to the first time" I apologise, still guilty about that.

"You don't need to apologise; I shouldn't have grabbed you. None of that was your fault" he interjects

"But I hurt you"

"I'm fine Caitlin, super healing remember? It lasted less than a minute"

"But that other guy, I really hurt him" I shudder, remembering the image of the frostbite on his arm.

"He'll be okay too, although I do need to ask. What happened? You would never attack a random citizen" he asks, leaning forward and turning to me.

"He…well I was on the way to my apartment. I needed to get some money and he grabbed me out of nowhere… he pulled out a gun and threatened me to go with him and I-I just lost it" I mutter, staring at the floor

"Well than he deserves what he got. Worse actually, I kind of wanna go kill him now" he snaps, his jaw clenched.

"That's not even the worst part"

"What is?"

"A part of me, the metahuman part…. Liked it, it made me feel warm, exhilarated"

"Caitlin…" he sighs

"What if that's who I am now? Someone who has to suck the life out of people to feel anything?"

"Caitlin that's not who you are"

"How do you know?"

"Because you stopped. You stopped okay, you chose not to kill him and you chose not to hurt me. To me you are still the same Caitlin Snow who enjoys mint chocolate chip ice-cream and can't sing for toffee. These powers don't change that" I laugh at the singing part, the familiar tune of 'Summer Lovin' floating into my head as I offer him a smile.

"Thank you Barry, it… it really means a lot to hear you say that"

"No problem. Now, will you let me take you home? I have a whole team of people who have been worried sick" he says getting up and offering me a hand.

"…okay. But I am going to be staying at the lab until I get more control over my powers, I don't want to hurt anyone else" I say, feeling a little dizzy as he pulls me to my feet.

"Whoa! You okay?" he asks, steadying me.

"Yeah, just tired" I sigh, he quickly swoops me up, carrying before I collapse from tiredness.

"C'mon, let's get you home"

…..