SM owns. Unbeta'd.
More of the day-after the shit storm...
For the next twenty-four hours I try to contact Bella.
Text messages.
Voicemails.
Messages to deliver through mutual friends.
I finally sit and wait in front of her place.
I sit for five hours before I hear the footsteps.
There she is. She freezes when she sees me. I must look like shit.
"You look like shit." Her voice is flat. Lifeless. I hate this. I did this.
"That's a fair assessment."
"What are you doing here, Edward?" She sighs, not looking at me at all.
"I tried calling you, texting you..." I say as I stand to face her.
"I know."
"You ignored me?"
"Yes. I have nothing more to say to you."
"No? Okay, then. I do, though."
"Edward, really, you don't need to explain anything. You have a girl. You were drunk. I should've known."
"Bella, please, just listen. Please?"
She nods once.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I know I say that a lot. But I really fucked up last night. I had a lot to drink and I wasn't using my best judgement. I should never have kissed you..."
That makes her eyes snap to mine. She's angry. Shit.
"Yeah, I know how detrimental that must've for you. Don't worry, you're off the hook," she pushes me out of the way and unlocks her door. Before she can slam it in my face, I stick my foot between it and the doorframe.
"Bella, that's not what I meant. Please." At least it makes her stop pushing. She crosses her arms and looks around uncomfortably, never in my eyes.
"I never meant to disrespect you or your relationship with Mike. I just want you happy, Bella. I don't know why I did what I did last night, but please believe me when I say Lauren came unannounced and cornered me. I didn't know how to react. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I can only hope that one day you'll forgive me. I'm sorry, Angelgirl."
"Are you done?"
"Yes." I nod, willing her to look at me.
"I think I need some time away from you."
"What?" My breathing stops.
"Edward, I can't do this anymore. You hurt me last night. And although I know it takes two, and I kissed you back, I just think we need time apart. To live our lives. Try to move on. I need to move on..."
Her face looks tired and sad. Like she's given up.
There's one thing I can do to make things right. And the decision, although the hardest thing ever, is the one decision that would make her happy.
"That's what you want? To move on? Without me in the picture? Just throw our friendship away?" I can hear the sadness in my own voice. This is it. She wants out.
Tears are streaming down her face, and it's breaking my heart. I can't do this to her anymore. I'm toxic.
She only nods silently. There's nothing else to say.
I take a deep breath and pull myself away. I feel like a part of me is dying.
"I'll miss you every single day, Bella. Every single day," I say over my shoulder as I walk out of her life. If she ever wants us back, I'll be right there waiting for her.
A/N: I'll be back in an hour.