Frostbite

Chapter 8

….

Caitlin's POV

Warm kisses on my shoulder woke me from my sleep, I smiled a turned around in my bed to face Barry. "Morning" I mumbled as he pressed a quick kiss to my lips. He quickly flipped us over so my back was against the mattress and he was hovering over me, peppering kisses to my neck.

He brought his face back up to mine, staring into my eyes for a moment "God, even when you wake you're beautiful"

I blush and move to turn my head away but he nudges my chin up with his hand, locking our lips together again. I sigh into his mouth, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer.

We make out in the bed for a few minutes before I pull away "As much as I want this to continue we're going to be late and I still need a shower"

He pouts and reluctantly lets me get away from the bed. I turn to him just as I grab a couple of towels "You know, you probably need a shower too. And it's probably easier to save water if we just shower together"

He flashes us off to the bathroom before I can even finish my sentence, a shriek coming from me as he carries me over his shoulder.

….

We eventually make it to work, it's quiet. Cisco is busy working on new adjustments for my suit and Wells isn't here yet, I discretely squeeze his hand before going over to my desk. I work on a few projects until I notice Iris walking in, coffee and breakfast in hand. I look away as she greets Barry with a kiss, tuning out their conversation until suddenly she's in front of my desk, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Caitlin? You in there?"

I blink rapidly, suddenly zoning back int. She's standing there with Barry with a smile on her face "I'm sorry, I was a bit zoned out. What were you saying?" I ask, turning to her.

"There's this guy at work who I think would be perfect for you, I've already told him about you and he's keen. Do you think that maybe you could give it a shot?" she asks

I hesitate, Barry seems to tense up and Cisco smiles, coming over into the conversation "I think you should go for it Caitlin, it's not like you have anything going on, right?" he says raising an eyebrow.

My eyes flash to Barry for a second and he looks away, Disheartened I look back to Iris "You know what Iris?" I say grabbing a sticky note and a pen "Give him my number. I could use a night out" I say jotting down my number and passing it to Iris who takes it with a squeal of glee.

Barry looks furious but I ignore it, going back to my work. He goes back to his desk and I try my best to ignore the nagging ache in my chest when he kisses her goodbye, instead focusing on my work. When Iris leaves Barry storms off, going towards the workout room.

Cisco comes over, watching as Barry leaves "Geez he's mad, are you really going to go out with that guy?" he asks, sitting on the edge of my desk

"No…I don't know. I tried asking him, he said he needed time but that was a month ago! I don't know how much longer I can do this, I don't want to be the other woman anymore" I sigh, slumping onto my desk.

Cisco sympathetically pats my shoulder "I know it's tough, this is what I didn't want to happen. You need to get him to choose Cait, you can't keep going on like this"

I nod, squeezing his forearm "I know, thanks Cisco. I just need to find the right time"

He nods and gives me a sympathetic look before leaving me to mull over my thoughts.

….

Barry ignores me for most of the day, Iris comes back to go for lunch and he makes a big show of passionately kissing her in front of me, hurting me like I hurt him. We barely talk after that, only discussing work things when needed and avoiding being in the same room together. By the end of the day I've had enough and storm out, not even bothering to say goodnight, I think it was fairly obvious I was going to stay in my own apartment tonight.

I pour a glass of wine when I get back and play my voicemails. Paul, the guy Iris works with left a message asking if I wanted to get coffee sometime. He sounded nice but as I listened to the message I felt nothing. It was no use; the guy could be perfect and it wouldn't matter because he wasn't Barry.

I sigh and sip my wine, sitting in my empty loungeroom. My phone vibrates against my hip and I pull it out of my pocket. It's Barry, with a roll of my eyes I answer it.

"What do you want Barry?"

"I'm sorry"

"You should be" I snap

"I know, I want to make it up to you"

"How are you going to do that?"

"Open your door"

I frown and put down the phone, going to the door. When I open it, Barry is on the other side, red roses in his hand.

"I realise I've never given you flowers before" he says, holding them out to me.

I hesitantly take them, reluctantly allowing him inside.

"I'm sorry"

"So am I, I just…. I feel like I'm not important to you" I confess, looking away from him

He walks up to me "Is that what you think? That I don't care?" he cups my face in his hands, tilting my face up to his "Caitlin you are one of the best things in my life, how can you think that I don't care?"

"Because you can't choose, I can't even stay at your place for fear of someone finding out"

He frowns, before swiftly picking me up and flashing me to his apartment.

I sigh as he puts me down "I didn't say that to force you into letting me"

"I know, I want to show you something" he says tugging my hand and leading me to his room.

He stops in front of his drawers and pulls a drawer open "Ta Da!"

It's empty. I look to him, confused "An empty drawer? I don't get it"

"Not just an empty drawer, well it is but that's not the point. It's for you to put some things in, you know clothes, a toothbrush, pyjamas. You know, for when you spend the night"

I smile, looking at the drawer again before wrapping my arms around his neck "Thank you, but what if Iris finds my stuff?"

"She doesn't really spend the night much, am I forgiven for today?" he asks

I smile and press a quick kiss to his lips "You're forgiven. You know, since I'm already here I might as well stay the night"

"Chinese food?"

"Yes, I'm starving!" I moan, kissing him again. He wraps his arms around my waist and walks us back to his bed, knocking us onto it. I lock my legs around his hips, pulling him closer and he groans, pulling my shirt out of my skirt.

I moan and start to unbutton his shirt, running my hands over his abs and eliciting moans from him. His mouth pulls away from mine and instead latches onto my neck, biting down gently on the soft skin there. My stomach rumbles suddenly, making him chuckle and pull away as I flush from embarrassment.

"Hold that thought, I'm going to go order the food" he says leaving the room with a smile. I lay on the bed, content and blissed out.

And then his phone buzzes.

Thinking it could be Cisco or Wells with an emergency I unlock his phone, a message from Iris flashes onto the screen.

Can't wait to see you tomorrow ;) I love you

My stomach plummets like a stone in a river and I get up, straightening my clothes as I grab my coat from the living room. Barry gets up from the computer, confused as he watches me angrily grab my things "Cait? What's going on?"

"I'm leaving" I snap, pulling my coat on

He immediately comes over "What? Why? What's going on?"

I shove his phone into his hand "your phone went off"

He unlocks his phone just as I leave, angry tears streaming down my face. I hear him running after me, shouting my name.

"Cait! Caitlin wait!" he shouts grabbing my wrist

"Why should I?" I snap "So you can make more false promises? So I can hear more of your lies?"

"Caitlin…"

"It's always going to be her, isn't it? You're never going to choose and I can't keep doing this. I can't keep sneaking around like this. DO you have any idea what it feels like for me to watch you you two in public? Any idea of how much that hurts? I want to be able to hold your hand in public, I want to be able to kiss you without worrying who might see. But you're never going to choose and I deserve better" I say wrenching my hand out of his wrist.

"What am I supposed to do?" he shouts

"I don't know, do want you want to do Barry. If you want Iris, then fine and if you want me then great. Just decide"

He seems torn, internally debating and I've had enough. "I'm not the type of girl that does this but I am today. Don't stay with her Barry, choose me. I love you, I've always loved you! And I know that Iris is perfect for you and I know there's a hundred reasons why she's the better choice but Barry, I'm crazy about you. So, this is me saying it, this is me not being scared. Choose me"

Shock is written all over his face as I say my little speech, his eyes widening as I told him I loved him. I'm out of breath when I'm finished, breathing heavily as I wait for him to say something.

"Caitlin…." Anguish crosses over his face "I-I can't…. I'm sorry…. I just can't"

I can swear my heart simultaneously stopped and shattered in that moment. I turn and rush off, not wanting to hear anything else. It's raining when I go outside, water dripping down my face and mingling with my tears as I furiously rub my eyes. I don't bother calling a cab, instead walking to my house, blisters on my feet and freezing cold when I get home. I only make it a few steps before I collapse to the floor in tears, sobbing as the pain in my chest overwhelmed me.