Author's Notes:
Okay so I know I said I was only going to post this every Tuesday, but for some reason I really wanted to post the second chapter. It probably had something to do with all the emails telling me about the people subscribing to the story on Story Alert, got me excited I guess :)
This chapter takes place directly after the first chapter, and it's got mostly a Ron/Harry moment, but I also through in a lot of Ron's feelings on his situation with Hermione.
OH, and before I forget, I made a small change in the story by making Hermione and Ginny roommates. I don't want to change the structure of the storyline too much, but for my story's purposes it makes me life MUCH easier.
Disclaimer: I own none of the Harry Potter characters/concepts that come from J.K. Rowling.
O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O
Chapter 2:
Ron began to slowly walk up the stairs to go to his dorm. He was a little disappointed that he didn't get to spend more time with Hermione that night now that she seemed to not hate him, but she had said she was tired and he knew it was late.
"Okay, well… G'night 'Mione," he said over his shoulder while trying to keep from yawning.
She smiled and he heard her say "Night, Ron" in a quiet voice as he kept walking up the stairs. He reached his dorm room and quietly opened the door, but was surprised to see Harry sitting up in bed still awake, staring at the wall in front of him as if he was day-dreaming.
"Oh, hey mate. Thought you were going to bed?"
Harry snapped out of it and looked over at Ron with a semi-surprised look on his face.
"Oh, yeah, I was… can't sleep though."
"Oh... Yeah, I know what that's like…," he responded with a sad look on his face. He thought about the past couple months that he had spent losing sleep over the thoughts rattling around in his head.
He cleared his mind and started getting ready for bed, then crawled underneath the covers of his four-poster and sat up against the head board, much like how Harry was sitting. He felt happier tonight than he had felt in a while. He and Hermione had had a normal, friendly conversation. He hadn't been able to spend time like that with her in months, and he missed it more than anything. He hadn't realized how much he had missed it until tonight. What was it about her that made him miss her so much?
He thought back to when he had first come to notice her as more than his know-it-all best friend. He imagined it would have been back around second or third year. He had started noticing how pretty she looked when she studied her books and bits of her hair fell in front of his face, or how her skin seemed to almost glow under certain light, or how dark her eyes were and how easy it was for him to get lost in them. He remembered asking himself since when had he turned into such a girl to think that way about anyone, especially Hermione…
During fourth year, when she brought Viktor Krum to the Yule Ball, he completely lost his mind with jealousy and he couldn't understand why. He asked himself again why he should care so much who she takes to the ball; she was just his friend, after all. But he couldn't help it… and he tried to tell himself that he was being stupid for caring, but he started to realize that maybe he fancied her as more than just a friend. He always caught himself staring at her features, watching her study, rowing with her for no reason just to get a rise out of her. As the years went on he found himself actually craving to be near her. Any chance he got to sit near her had him giddy inside. His feelings for her had definitely deepened. He wasn't just noticing how cute she was when she read, but was instead full-out staring at her for what felt like hours, watching her lips, longing to feel them on his own. He wanted every hug from her to last forever and he never wanted to stop being near her. He didn't understand the hold she had on him.
When he found out earlier this year that she had actually kissed Krum back in fourth year, he had never been more jealous in his life. Not only was he jealous, but he felt angry with her even though she hadn't done anything wrong. Then he found out Lavender fancied him and thought maybe he should be trying to move on. Hermione clearly had no interest in being more than friends since she was off having a good time with other blokes. He wasn't proud to admit to himself that he had also hoped she might get jealous of him dating Lavender. He had learned earlier that day that it had made her jealous, but not in the way he meant. And when she was mad at him while he was with Lavender, he still found himself wanting to be with her. The way she looked at him whenever she saw them together, like he was some sort of monster or something, destroyed him inside. He couldn't bear her seeing him as that horrible person. It was clear that he hadn't gotten over her at all, and he wasn't even that fond of Lavender.
He couldn't have been happier when she started talking to him again after he was poisoned, and he decided dating someone he couldn't stand being around wasn't worth it if it couldn't help him get over Hermione anyways. Their friendship wasn't the same though, and he wanted to talk to her about it to figure out how he could fix it, but he was too nervous to bring it up.
When she had said she wanted to talk about something in Charms class earlier that day, he was excited to find that she was going to bring it up first. It turned out that she had only wanted to make sure he was okay with the whole breaking-up thing, but at least they had sorted out their feelings anyways. He hated apologizing, but it was worth it if it meant being able to be her friend again. To his delight, it seemed to have worked because they just spent the night hanging out like they used to, and he had loved every minute of it.
A few minutes after drifting off with his thoughts he heard a loud snore coming from one of his roommates, probably Neville, and he snapped out of it. Deciding he was ready to try to fall asleep, he started to adjust his blankets and pillow and turned to say goodnight to Harry. He noticed that Harry was still staring at the wall with a pensive look on his face, and it made Ron think maybe he was upset about something. Probably something related to horcruxes or Malfoy or something, and as much as he didn't want to hear any more about it, he thought he better ask. He didn't think he would be able to get to sleep himself for a while anyways.
"So…," he started awkwardly, "why can't you sleep?"
Harry looked back at him with a slight smile. "Oh, you know… just thinking. About… things."
Ron wondered what it was he was smiling about. There were only a couple things that made Harry smile when he started thinking: his parents, and the occasional girl.
"Oh… things?" he asked back with a sneaky grin and a raised eyebrow.
Harry chuckled. "Yes, things, and what's that look for?"
Ron laughed and was relieved to know that this wasn't going to have anything to do with Death Eaters or anything else of the sort. "Admit it Harry, it's a girl! I've known you long enough to know when you fancy someone. So, who is it then?"
Harrys smile suddenly disappeared as his face brought on a look of surprise and his eyes grew wide.
Ron, confused to see the sudden change in mood, egged him on. Now he was curious. "Well? Who is she then? She must be great to have you thinking so much."
Harry went back to facing the wall, trying to avoid Ron's curious eyes. "Well… err…"
Suddenly, Ron's eyes started to bulge out and his brain clicked.
"Oh Merlin… it's not a she then is it? It's a… is it a, err… a he?" He tried to whisper the last word just in case anyone was around. He didn't want to embarrass his best mate if he wasn't ready to share it with people.
"WHAT?" Harry practically shouted as he snapped his head back to face Ron. Ron grimaced at the tone of Harry's voice and his face started to turn red. Apparently Harry didn't fancy men and he instantly felt embarrassed for having even suggested it. Their roommates briefly stirred under their sheets and Harry quickly realized he was being too loud.
"For Merlin's sake Ron, no, it's not a boy!" Harry snapped, lowering his voice as he covered his face with both hands and shook his head. "It is a girl, I just… don't know how happy you'll be about it when you find out who she is…," he trailed off as his hands slid down his face and landed back in his lap.
Ron sat up straight as he felt the air in his lungs disappear. This was it; his worst fear was becoming a reality. Harry had to have been talking about Hermione. He had never talked about his feelings towards her with Harry, but he was sure Harry had to know. He had teased Ron on more than one occasion over the years about flirting with her or always choosing to sit next to her, even though Ron denied liking her as more than a friend every time. And now he was about to tell Ron that he had feelings for Hermione too. He inwardly cursed himself for having ever denied liking Hermione as more than a friend. Now he was going to have to watch her be with the great Harry Potter every day, and the thought about that killed him inside. Who would ever want to leave Harry for him?
"It's Hermione, isn't it?" he asked in a sad tone. He looked away from Harry as soon as he felt the frown break out on his face. He didn't want Harry to see he was upset about it.
Harry stared at Ron with his mouth agape and a look of complete disbelief plastered on his face.
"Ron. You have got to be kidding me. You really think I would go for Hermione when it's obvious to everyone that you've fancied her for years? Even if you didn't, she's too much like a sister to me. I could never think of her that way." His tone was not so much angry as it was firm. He wanted Ron to know that he would never have romantic feelings for Hermione. This wasn't about him liking Ron's sister anymore; this was about Ron's insecurities. He needed Ron to understand he had nothing to be worried about.
Ron's face turned pink as he turned back to Harry. How could he act like such a prat twice in one conversation? He really needed to stop coming to his own conclusions. First the "you fancy men" thing, and now this. He knew deep down that Harry would never do something like that to him, even if he thought he could. He was his best mate, after all. And now Harry had to know that he liked Hermione. He felt his face turn hotter at the thought of anyone knowing. Maybe he could try to deny it again…
"Fancied her for years? I don't know what you're talking about Har-"
"Honestly Ron, you must think I'm daft!" Harry cut him off with a chuckle. "Listen mate, I know you do. Whether you admit it to me or not, I know it's true. I see the way you look at her, and the horrible mood it put you in when she was mad at you. And by the way, I really wish I could understand why you started dating that blonde twit when it was so obvious you liked Hermione the whole time. Why lower your chances at having Hermione by getting into a relationship? It just makes no sense." He crossed his arms over his chest and started looking back towards the wall in front of him, satisfied that his rant had rendered Ron speechless.
Ron stared at him with his mouth open as the pink on his face darkened to a vibrant shade of red. He could feel the tips of his ears burning, and he had no idea how to respond to what Harry had just said. Of course, every word of it was true, including the part about having less a chance of ever being with her while dating someone else, but he really didn't think that it would have mattered either way.
"Well… I, err… maybe I fancy her a little, I suppose… or a lot… I don't know, it's possible," he said with his head turned the opposite direction from Harry's bed. He heard Harry chuckle at his response and didn't have to be able to see Harry's face to know that he must have been wearing the smuggest grin imaginable. "And it's not like my dating Lavender mattered anyways… I think it's obvious that Hermione had no interest in being anything more than my friend before that. Goin' off, kissing boys… she even had a thing of her own with McLaggen when I was dating Lavender…" He snorted and clicked his tongue before continuing "And let's face it, a girl like Hermione would have no interest in a prat like me anyways. She's much smarter and better looking than I ever will be…" He let himself trail off as his face kept its bright shade of red. He was embarrassed to have admitted all that in front of Harry, but it was all in the open now and there was nothing else he could do about it.
"Ron…," Harry sighed and paused before going on. "We both know you're smarter than you let on. And you may not be as smart as Hermione," he chuckled "but not many people are. I'm sure she doesn't expect all her boyfriends to be as smart as her. And, you know… I'm sure she finds you attractive too… it's hard for me to tell really, but I'm pretty sure you're not, you know… ugly. I think you would probably be classified as, err, attractive." Harry's eyes were darting around the room as he said it. Somehow the conversation had now made him feel more embarrassed than Ron was.
Ron kept his eyes forward, pausing before responding to Harry. Neither of them was comfortable talking about their feelings, but he did appreciate Harry's efforts in cheering him up. It was then that he realized how awkward Harry must have felt about having to try to convince Ron that he's attractive, and he started laughing.
"You sure you're not into men there, Harry?" he said, still laughing.
"Oi, sod off, Ron!" laughed Harry as he threw his pillow and nailed Ron with it right in the head.
Ron laughed again as he felt the pillow hit him in the head.
"Oi!" He threw it back at Harry who was still laughing, but it only grazed him.
They both laughed again before sitting back in their spots against their headboards. A moment of comfortable silence passed before Harry spoke again.
"So… are you ever gonna' tell her? You know, that you fancy her?"
"I don't know mate, I wouldn't want to ruin anything… she's finally talking to me again and it might make things awkward if she knew."
"Well, you never know… maybe she returns the feelings." Harry smiled knowingly to himself as she had already confessed to him months ago that she did.
Ron stared at Harry with a shocked look on his face. "Oh, come on, Harry. You can't possibly believe that! I know you're supposed to be my best mate and everything, but you shouldn't be lying to me just to make me feel better."
"I'm not lying to you Ron, it's always possible! You'll never know unless you talk to her about it, you know."
"Trust me, Harry, if I thought there was even the slightest chance that she fancied me back, I'd tell her. But right now I just want to focus on being friends again." He tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling of his bed and let out an exasperated sigh.
Harry turned his head to look at Ron. "Well, if you want to be miserable then be my guest, but if I was you I'd tell her."
Ron's head suddenly shot up as he remembered what they had been talking about to begin with.
"Hang on now, Harry. Isn't there a girl who you aren't telling the same thing? And who is it then, if it's not Hermione? Why would you think it'd upset me?" He stared at Harry waiting for an answer. He was not going to let him get out of it that easy.
Harry's eyes closed shut and he tilted his head back much like Ron had done a minute earlier.
"Alright, Ron. I guess you deserve to know, since you're probably going to find out sooner or later anyways… but just remember that I'm your best mate before you react." He turned himself around to sit on the edge of the bed to face Ron's, and Ron did the same as his curiosity peaked.
"Oh, Merlin… You're gonna' want to hit me, I know it!" Harry said as he propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face into his hands.
"Harry, you're really making me nervous here. I don't just wanna' hit my best mate for no reason so who could it b-"
"It's Ginny, Ron," he blurted, his face still in his hands. He slowly pulled his hands down half-expecting Ron's fist to meet his nose, but was relieved to see Ron's face was more shocked than angry.
"Ginny… as in my sister Ginny? Well that's err… that's really…," Ron stammered. He really couldn't find the words. He had couldn't say he was totally surprised, considering the amount of time Harry had spent around his family at The Burrow, but he still hadn't expected that name to come from Harry's mouth.
"I know, I know, it's horrible. It makes me a bad friend; you don't have to say it. I'm sorry that it happened this way, I just, I don't know. I just like her a lot. I can't get her off my mind, and now that she's not with Dean anymore I've been thinking about her all day," said Harry, his face filled with angst. He had finally admitted it and felt enough courage to meet Ron's gaze.
Ron didn't know what to think about Harry's confession. It was always hard to see boys hanging all over his little sister, but for some reason he didn't feel as angry knowing it could be Harry. Maybe because he knew Harry well enough himself to know that he was a good guy... It was still going to be a little strange for him to see them together, but he had to admit it was better than Dean or any of the other blokes wandering around this school.
"I'll admit it might be a little… weird… but it's got to be better than seeing her with someone who would just end up hurting her. If there's any boy here who'd even come close to deserving to be with my little sister, it's you." He gave Harry a small, approving smile and Harry grinned back at him with wide eyes.
"Really? That's it? So you're really okay with it?" he beamed as he eagerly waited for Ron's confirmation.
Ron chuckled back at him. He hadn't seen Harry so excited about something in a long time. "Yeah, I guess I'm okay with it. I suppose I can trust you enough by now" he said with a sarcastic tone as he rolled his eyes and smiled. "But if you ever do anything to hurt her," he narrowed his eyes at him with a slight smile still hanging on his face, "your arse is mine, Potter!"
Harry laughed with him and held his hands up in the air in a mockingly defensive way. "Alright, fair enough."
"And try to keep the snogging to a minimum around me, okay? It still freaks me out." Ron's face grimaced and he gave a little shutter as he remembered catching Ginny and Dean snogging on more than one occasion.
Harry laughed again. "Alright, I think I can do that." His face then turned serious again, "That's assuming she'll even have me…"
"Don't' worry Harry, the way she obsessed over you back in first and second year makes me sure that she'll be happy to have you."
Harry smiled back at him, remembering how timid she had been when she first met him.
"Well, now that I know you're okay with it, I think I might head over to the girls' dorm and talk to her about it!" He shot up off the bed and grabbed his cloak of invisibility.
"Wait... right now? At this time of night? Are you mad?" Ron stood up to walk towards him. "I know you're excited, but can't this wait 'til the morning?"
"I don't know if you've noticed, Ron, but your sister has a lot of fans, if you know what I mean. I don't want to risk waiting 'till then," he said with a huge smile. He threw the cloak over himself and Ron saw the door open as Harry slipped out. He made sure to close it as quietly as possible while Ron got back into his bed.
The thoughts in Ron's head were swimming again as he thought about everything that had happened that day. He thought about Harry and Ginny becoming a couple, and wondered how Harry was doing over at the girls' dorm. He imagined it would go good, and he wouldn't be surprised to find that the two had gotten together by the morning. He smiled to himself as he thought about the hard time he was going to give them tomorrow.
His thoughts then steered back to Hermione as he wished that he had the same courage that Harry did. He imagined what it would be like if he had gone over to Hermione's room and told her how he felt, but as he played it out in his head it only ended with her rejecting him. He shuddered at the thought of her ever being disgusted by him again, and decided he'd have to settle with the images of her face that always appeared in his thoughts at night to get his fix. Being her friend was the next best thing, so he'd have to keep his feelings inside so not to ruin their friendship.
O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O
"It's okay Gin, I'll get it." Hermione struggled to get untangled from her sheets and put her slippers on before dragging her feet over to the door. She assumed it would one of her dorm mates' friends looking for a shoulder to cry on about whatever it was they were upset about tonight. What would it be this time? A boy, perhaps? Or maybe it was more stress from school work. Whatever it was, it was probably going to keep Hermione awake for a while if she let her in.
She opened the door as quietly as she could, prepared to tell the visitor that nobody else was awake so they would have to leave, but then she laid eyes on the boy standing on the other side of the door.
"Oh!" she said surprised, "I wasn't expecting it to be you!"
"Sorry, Hermione," said Harry as his head poked out from under the invisible cloak. "I need to talk to Ginny, it's important. You don't mind if I come in, do you?"
Hermione smiled at his seemingly floating head as she gave him a knowing look. "This wouldn't have anything to do with her new status as a single witch, would it?" She had to supress her laugh so not to wake her roommates.
Harry smiled back at her with an embarrassed look on his face. "It's possible… so, can I come in?"
"Wait, what about Ron? Aren't you going to at least talk to him about it before you do this?"
"Already done!" he said as he beamed back at her. "He said it might be weird, but it's got to be better than the other guys around here hounding for her, so he's okay with it."
Hermione grinned back at him. She felt so happy for Harry and Ginny, and she knew that Ginny would be excited to hear what Harry had to say. She opened the door wide enough for him to slip through and motioned for him to come in.
Ginny had already lied back down under her blankets. Hermione tip-toed over to her and tried to shimmy her awake as she whispered "Ginny… Ginny! You have a visitor!"
Ginny looked up at her as Hermione gave her a small wink, and she quickly sat up to see who it was. A smile broke out on her face as soon as she saw Harry standing at the end of her bed, anxiously waiting for her to get up. She hopped up out of bed and threw on her slippers before walking over to him.
"Hey Gin… I wanted to, err… talk to you… about something. So… do you mind if we go down to the common room?"
"Oh, sure that sounds fine." She smiled at him as she opened the door and stepped out. Harry threw the cloak back around him so that nobody would see him leaving the girls' dorm and went to follow her. Before he stepped out the door he quickly whispered to Hermione in an excited tone "Alright, wish me luck!"
Hermione giggled. "Good luck, Harry!" He quietly closed the door and she jumped back into her bed. She was too excited for Ginny to be able to fall back asleep, so she decided to stay awake and wait for her friend to hear all the details. She was sure Ginny would need to gush to someone about it, so she might as well stay awake.
O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O
So that was Chapter 2 :)
I hope you all enjoyed my take on Ron's character. I personally always thought he had matured somewhat at this point in his life, but he's still a little clumsy around his feelings and what-not. I also really like his relationship with Harry and I enjoyed writing this dialogue between them.
I'd appreciate reviews and your guys' feedback :D
Thanks! And Chapter 3 will still be posted this Tuesday!
-ArticulateFicton