*hangs head in shame* I so wanted to establish a good updating rhythm and I ruined it...well I'm going to act childish and blame it on my way-too-hyper puppy (who I'm babysitting most of the day) and my fever (had it since yesterday, sad face). BUT. Thanks to all the wonderful people who reviewed and assuaged my worries: H-thar, Revan Farron, The Moon's Willow (highfives), Maddy, thewhitespirit, darkshifter, Zapper90, Vecktus, Lightarcana, Saccharo, Aoi Hyoudou, Mylaervain and this New Reader (thanks so much) :) I gots a feeling I'll reach 100 reviews with this story *giggles*
Love to xAltaria who listened to me mope and complain without telling me to shut up! All I can say is that there are some things that Light fails adorably at.
You know those infomercials? It's what it felt like writing this chapter, BUT I SO HOPE IT WON'T COME ACROSS LIKE THAT *crosses fingers*
Random note; I suck at creating chapter titles XD But oh well. Enough of my chatter, read and enjoy!
Crashing through dry underbrush and leaping blindly over upturned roots, Hope coughed out bits of leaves, only to heave them back in as he frantically and mindlessly obeyed the fiery pull of his desperate lungs. Glimpses of black and yellow fabric were continuously swallowed up by wintry foliage and Hope strived to catch up, urging the distance between his legs to lengthen. Catching his foot on a burrow hidden by the snow, he careened forward, colliding chest-first into an unforgiving compact surface. Stunned, he slid to his side, gasping pathetically for air he couldn't draw in, staring wide-eyed at the small boulder.
Kicked snow dusted his face as arms reached down to haul him up. "C'mon, you're ok you're ok, just run," Nisha urged, patting him on the back vigorously and dragging him by the arm, pulling him through the prickly branches of a thicket. Hope let out a whimpering cry, covering his face from the thorns. Nisha swung him in front; the fourteen-year-old stumbling and tripping over himself. "Keep going!"
But the pain in his chest was too much and Hope sunk to his knees; the other boy glanced around the glade they were in, running back to peer through the pine trees. "You know? I don't think there's anyone chasing us. I was right—it probably was an Enki scratching its back against some trees. Not that it wasn't a bad idea to get moving."
Uncanny calls reverberated throughout the dense forest; nervous chitters communicated ceaselessly and a low hooting cackle mocked from above—malicious whisperings that were driving Hope to a hysterical paranoia. He whipped around, a hand clutched to his throbbing chest.
"For someone who has the guardian energy, you sure are weak." The younger dark-haired boy crouched down in front of him, grabbing his shoulders. The black sun tattooed beneath the corner of his left eye crinkled when he smiled; a braided necklace held the same pendant. "Look around you, we're free! Don't panic so much; I can lead us out of here—"
Snarling pitifully, Hope smacked his scrawny arms away. "What're you talking about? THOSE GUYS ARE TRYING TO KILL US! Even if they don't find us in time, WE'LL STILL BE DEAD! We're never gonna make it out of here—lead us out?" Hope scoffed, "You've never been here!"
The young native gave a smug smile. "All forests are the same; only the trees are different."
"Stop joking around—that doesn't even make sense!" Hope fisted his hair, gritting his teeth. "I can't do this, I can't do this—I can't ever go back, I'm a monster! I'M A MONSTER!"
The twelve-year-old's dark brown eyes watered; perhaps it hadn't been the best idea to escape so brashly without a plan. "Calm down, that's just what they want you to think—"
"You didn't wipe out a whole building of people!"
"Hope, you didn't have a choice! We can't think about that. I want to go home; I miss my mama—but it's my duty to bring you home and I'm not going to fail." He grabbed his shoulder again.
Hope laughed dementedly, leaning back. "You're never going home; you'll never see your mother again," he spat. Nisha's chin trembled, hurt reflecting in his eyes.
The searing flash of a blindingly white molten sun had Hope cowering, eyes shut, forearms to his face in a feeble act of defense; thunderous cracking from bone-dry ton trees crashing to the earth sent a flaming shockwave, a tidal wave of ashen cloud and debris proceeding in its wake.
A deafening ring reverberating in his ears, Hope shakily straightened up, equilibrium disorientated as doubles became shifting triples and the ringing soon contended with the irregular beating of his heart. Curling smoke rose from the scorched, blackened earth, charred trees bowed chaotically in every which direction, a suffocating cloud filtered out the cold sun's light; he looked around, stumbling forward. "Nisha," he rasped, coughing. Tears trickled down, smudging the black on his face.
Across the clearing, lay an obscure form, its small shape recognizable as a human's; a pitiful keen from behind clenched teeth, Hope dropped to his knees, fisting the sweltering ground. Why was he still alive if his friend was dead? "Nisha," he cried, crawling forward, gagging at the smell of burned fleshed. "I told you I was a monster..."
She'd counted on her sister sleeping in for reasons she didn't want to admit she ever had in the first place. Serah sneaked a glimpse behind her, spotting Lightning at the table; she also caught the maroon red of her cape. She's not going to work, is she? Should I keep making breakfast? Aw, but that would be awkward if I don't acknowledge her. She didn't want to turn around in fearing of turning red as a jalapeno flan; she couldn't decide what flustered her the most: the fact that she heard her sister moan the way she did or that she knew who caused them.
Elbows on the dinner table, Lightning raked her hair back, letting her hand rest on the nape of her neck. She ignored the way the pan clattered nervously onto the stove; a couple eggs missed their target and splatted, sizzling noisily as they burned to a shriveled crisp. Something's bothering Serah. She wouldn't ask about it though. No, at the moment, she had an emotional crisis to deal with. A good night's sleep was supposed to have given her mind a little time to clear itself and instead she woke up wanting to wake up again to a different reality.
Farron, what were you thinking? I think it stands to reason I wasn't. She didn't have the luxury of leaving the house to punish herself or even locking herself in the bathroom; she couldn't deny the fact that Hope needed to have access to her. She pinched the bridge of her nose, irritation stabbing her nerves the moment her sister tried to hum a cheery little tune. "For Etro's sake, Serah, cut the crap. What's the matter with you?"
Startled, the younger Farron whipped around, big eyes giving a wounded blink; Lightning groaned at the little voice nagging her conscience. You shouldn't be so cross; it's not her fault you committed a debauchery. She rubbed her forehead, shaking her head as Serah timidly approached her. She tottered awkwardly in front of the table where her sister sat, drumming her fingers on her pink and white moogle pajama pants. "Just forget it," she muttered, waving her off.
The chair scraped loudly as Serah quickly plopped herself down, fidgeting with the bottom of her pink tank. "I heard you," she blurted, rocking forward.
"You what?"
She hesitated, mouth working. "Last night…"
Oh Maker. Lightning covered her face with both hands, turning away. As if Hope wasn't bad enough, her little sister had to be scarred by her lack of control too. "Serah, this isn't a conversation I want to be having with you. Really, just go. Now." She couldn't even allow herself to process it thoroughly; the last thing she wanted was to talk to someone else about it.
Serah swallowed. And that proves you need it. Please don't send me away for this. "Hey Claire, this isn't going to go away and no matter how disciplined you are, it's all going to go out the window once he comes down those stairs. Did you and Hope…do it?" She wanted to roll her eyes at how immature it made her sound, but she needed to make absolutely sure. Yeah Serah, maybe you just completely misheard things. She scrunched her mouth when Lightning proceeded to lay her head on the table. "Sis…"
"Serah, I don't know where to start... As if things weren't complicated enough, to throw statutory—"
Her eyes bulged. Ahhhhhhh! "Gosh no, Claire, don't think about it like that—that's horrible! I mean, it's different—"
Lightning jerked her head up, eyes ablaze. "Serah, there are no exceptions when it comes to having sex with a child," she hissed.
She winced, the words stabbing her ears with an immorally-sharpened blade. "You really shouldn't say it like that either," she mumbled. "Look, we both know that's not what happened," she cut herself off when Lightning raised an eyebrow.
"Like you even know."
She looked down promptly. "W-well I…can only imagine—"
"Serah don't even go there."
The younger Farron clamped her mouth shut with frustration. "Ok, it's unfair to approach the matter so…black and white…Hope's not really…a child mentally and—"
"Regardless of his mental maturity, which we can agree on is not stable at the moment, he's fourteen—love/sex, that's not the kind of emotional responsibility you put on a boy, especially one who thinks he has to prove himself," she faltered, "to someone he looks up to. And that's irrespective of that fact that it's wrong."
"It's not."
Lightning laughed with frank incredulity. "I can't believe you're trying to support this!"
"I'm not! I'm trying to support you Claire. I don't know how it started, but I'm certain you didn't just grab him by the hair and throw him on the bed." Serah slumped her shoulders, trying not to picture it; the mortified expression on her sister's face told her she was. "I'm just trying to show you that…if it weren't for his age, it would've…you know, been appropriate." She reached to touch her hand; Light moved away. "If I really thought Hope had been taken advantage of, I wouldn't be trying so hard to make it seem right. This is something you two have to figure out. You can't distance yourself because of this."
She shook her head with a grim sigh. "I told Hope the same thing yesterday."
Serah smiled warmly. "See? Set a good example for him." She affectionately turned the matching band on Lightning's arm. "Someone he loves," she altered gently. "Not only someone he looks up to." She drew courage from her sister's acquiescent gaze. "It's not hard to love you Claire; it's just hard to get you to realize it."
Serah, I know you're trying to help, but I really need you to be against me on this. "If Snow touched you at the age of fourteen, you can believe that man would not be alive today. There wouldn't even be a body to put in his grave."
Serah grimaced, trying to see the loving aspect of it. "First of all, Hope's a boy, which I know," she acknowledged, "shouldn't matter, but—"
"Stop stop, I don't want to think about it." Lightning shook her head, crossing her legs, leaning back onto the table. If I could just strangle the part of me that wants to blush and say she'd never felt so close to another person.
She sighed, playing with her hands. Let's try something else. "Doesn't it feel nice…to, um, do it with someone you actually care about?" She swallowed nervously at the poisonous gaze Lightning gave her.
Her voice was quiet and lethally bemused. "Are you insinuating your sister's a slut?"
She gasped, shocked. "No Claire! But before Hope, you didn't care about anyone, sometimes it felt like I was more a burden than a sister you had to deal with, so I can't imagine whatever guy—"
"And this conversation needs to stop."
"Ok fine, we won't go there—but remember you were underage too," Serah rushed quickly. Light turned livid.
"Yeah, but I SURE as hell wasn't fourteen!" she snapped back. You don't know everything I've given up for you, Serah and if I can help it, you will never know. Some things you just don't talk about. Serah bowed her head, taking small breaths. Lightning softened, covering her face with one hand. "I didn't mean to yell."
"And I didn't mean to step out of line; that's none of my business," she said quietly. "You have a good heart, Sis. I just don't want you to be too hard on yourself. Mistakes happen; we learn from them...sometimes a little good can come from them."
A terrified scream shattered the thoughts going through their heads and Lightning caught herself from falling off the chair as she stopped herself from rushing upstairs. Hope! She shot Serah a panicked look. "You have to go up there; I can't. He's probably having nightmare."
She returned it with an uncertain one of her own. "All the more reason for you to go, I can't calm him down. Remember how he clung to you? You're the only one who can reach him."
Every fiber was yelling at her to go and with each second she held back, she grew more nauseous. I can't see him, not after what I did to him. But after a shorter scream pierced the air, she was up the stairs.
As soon as the door slammed open, Lightning froze in the doorway. Why did I wait so long?
Lost and alone, sitting in the middle of his room, surrounded by blankets, Hope's green irises were encircled with glowing gold. Anemically pale, he swayed with fatigue, staring at the line of barren trees. Warm white fragile flakes drifted down. "Something's burning," he whispered, haunted.
"Nothing is burning," responded a familiar voice.
His lip quivered. "I did it." Oppressive gray clouds hung low; a whirl of acrid wind, upsetting the fallen flakes and causing them to disintegrate. A black feather teased his peripheral vision; a soft jingle from hidden ornaments and chains.
"Sorrow begets sorrow." Her soft croon of lamentation sent subtle chills down his spine and she stood before him, black eyes unreadable. "What is sown must be reaped." She opened her arms and stepped back, Lightning stepping forward; Hope gasped. "And I shall mourn for these souls and cherish them for all of eternity."
What is sown must be reaped… He shivered at the meaning, only vaguely aware of Lightning kneeling in front of him; his face was cradled. She's talking about souls…she's talking about the people I kill. A light stroke ran down his cheeks. "You're ok now," came a tender voice. Was it coincidence that Lightning had stepped seemingly from Etro's arms? I shall mourn for these souls and cherish them… Fear exploded in his gut and a sudden whimper escaped him. The dead bodies she pulled up from Asnida…they didn't die in battle. I was the only one left. I killed them.
"Come here."
Trembling, his arms wound around her neck; safety enveloping him and assuaging his fears. Over her shoulder, he looked around, eyes stopping at the few boomerangs displayed on the wall; the airwing slightly chipped from its brief encounter with the clenched jaws of an uridimmu. The skeleton trees had disappeared, the fear generated from them gone. She's my anchor. "Lightning, don't leave me." He ran his fingers through her soft hair, breathing in a faint peach scent.
"I won't. You made me a promise, remember? I told you I'd never leave your side if you never left mine. Think we can do that seriously from now on?" Lightning rubbed his back. "Just until I can trust you'll stay out of trouble, then maybe I can let you out of my sight for a few minutes." Her heart was released from its weighted cage and she allowed herself to smile at his giggle. But the relief also unlocked other emotions along with the ability to focus on how close Hope was actually pressed against her. Caught in a kneel with one knee up, there was no barrier between him and her thigh besides the clothes he was wearing. In order to curb the warmth beginning to ripple through her, she lowered her leg, opting to sit on her heels; though now he had nothing to lean against and awkwardly tried to settle on her lap without letting go.
And to her surprise, Lightning laughed. The arms around her loosened, Hope pulling away to offer her a questioning look; a subdued sparkle glistened in his eyes. "It's ok to be scared as long as you know you can overcome it." She stroked his cheek. "We can change fate; it's not too hard, we've done it before," she said with a smile.
He gave a reassured grin. "Right."
She was about to pinch him playfully when the clarity in his eyes stopped her. Once more cognizant of his surroundings, there was nothing preventing him remembering the events of last night.
"Light?" He didn't miss how quickly guarded her gaze had become or how the warmth drained from her smile. Gently pushed away, another quick stroke to his cheek and before she had even straightened up to leave, his heart had already plummeted into a sea of dry ice. The empty caress couldn't fool him; he knew exactly what she regretted.
"Come downstairs when you're ready."
She left the door open. The growing disappointment and trepidation weren't enough to keep him from blushing as he hung his head. He wanted to deride himself by asking what in the world had gotten into his head, but he knew the answer and he didn't think it was something to ridicule. I just wanted to show her I loved her. The words alone hadn't seemed to be enough; while he never expected to hear them back from her, he also didn't expect her to be so caught off guard by it—like hearing a toddler repeat something they didn't quite understand the meaning of. She didn't believe me.
So what if it hadn't been his greatest idea, he wanted to prove it to her and quite frankly, it was the best way he knew of. He'd been scared witless upon entering her room, but losing the chance to make her feel loved frightened him even more. Maker, it really happened; I…made love to her. The thought immediately sent a heated rush of giddiness through him and he covered his cheeks, feeling phantom nails dig into his back. Almost instantly, the feeling sunk. He was elated that his first time had been with her; yet, she was ashamed. He couldn't help but feel rather hurt and slightly rejected. He grabbed his wrist, staring dolefully at the carpet. "I'm stupid."
Standing on her tiptoes, Lightning stretched her arm out, straining to reach the jutting wooden frame from which the blinds hung, using the first digits of her fingers to scoot the damp rag around.
"Sis, no one can even see the top of that—you don't have the clean it." Serah gave an absentminded twirl, hastily stopping when a strand of hair got her in the eye.
Sighing, the soldier lowered her arm, not tall enough to clean it properly. She looked around, the rickety lonely chair in the corner catching her attention for a split second before she disregarded it. It'd never support my weight. Her mind flickered to Hope; all morning he refused to say more than handful of words and now he was sulking somewhere outside with Snow hovering around.
She tried to comfort herself with thought she wasn't avoiding him per se, she just needed time to mull things over. Not once did I try to stop him. A little voice chuckled. Of course you didn't, you wanted it. You craved his attention. Snatched that boy's virginity without a second thought. Go ahead and reassure yourself with the knowledge he wanted to give it to you anyway. "Shut up," she muttered. Her inner conscience chimed in. You have something of his that's automatically going to make him feel closer to you—whether you meant to take it or not. You talk of emotional responsibility; this is yours now. He left himself wide open; don't make him feel worthless.
"Hey Sis," Snow's voice carried loudly throughout the house; the front banged open and she heard a quiet 'oops'. "I think something's wrong with Hope, he seems…I dunno, kinda depressed—I mean, not like he shouldn't, kid's been through some tough shit. I tried chatting with him, but I get the feeling it's not me he wants to talk to." He shrugged, hands palm-up in the air.
Lightning rolled her eyes. "Great. So you just leave him out there?" She bunched up the rag. "Real smart, hero."
"Hey I figured you'd go out there—" he flinched when the dirty cloth hit his face. Serah whined her disapproval.
"All you need is to take your eyes off for someone to go missing." She slammed the door shut.
Please still be here, Hope. Serah smiled uncertainly. "Don't worry, it's good you came in; those two needed to talk some stuff out." Snow grinned and sauntered over to her, his cold hands slipping around her tiny waist, causing her giggle to be more of a shriek.
"My bad," he chuckled, lifting her up.
One arm on his shoulder, she tried to pull her plaid skirt back down modestly, which turned out being nearly impossible, seeing that her legs were around his waist. His hands moved lower. "I'll keep the floorboards from sneaking a peek," he assured.
She leaned forward, pressing her nose to his. "I love you."
His blue eyes sparkled. "I love you way more, baby."
Crunching through the snow, overcast saved her from having to shield her eyes and squint. It would only be a matter of rounding the corner, passing the ridged metal sheets propped against the base of the house, before she spotted him. She could already hear a soft distortion from sliced wind. She fingered the corroded iron, resting her shoulder against the siding, tracking the sleek black Nue as it spiraled through the air. A productive method of relieving stress.
She watched him jump up, catching it with both hands, his arms rocking back from the force. His orange jacket lay a few feet away from him. Into the air it went again and Lightning shook her hair from her eyes as a sudden wind picked up. Curving back, he moved to the right, hesitating; it came in too fast and as he reached up to grab it, its wing struck his hand with its inside spike. He doubled over.
"Hope!"
He jerked up at the sound of her voice, staggering backwards, holding his right hand to his abdomen. His cheeks were flushed, beads of sweat sticking strands of silver to his face. He sucked his bottom lip in and made no move to go towards her.
Taking notice, she kept a few paces between them. She held out her hand. "Let me see."
He didn't want to give in, but a quick peek into her eyes and he saw the Lightning he knew in the Vile Peaks, who had no tolerance for hesitation. Part of him wanted to rebel, but a stronger—his heart—didn't want to give her any more reason to be mad at him. He turned his injured hand out, staring at the tender skin that had been pierced between his thumb and forefinger. Crimson blood pooled and dripped onto the snow beneath.
"Where're your gloves?" she asked, reaching down to break off a piece of the hardened snow, digging for the powder under it. He gave a tiny shrug. She looked around, but she didn't have anything on her that she could bandage his hand with. "Tch… C'mon, let's go inside."
"I'm fine; it doesn't hurt that much. It was my fault anyway—should've waited." He wiggled free from her grasp, wincing, and Lightning rolled her eyes, taking steps away from him.
He stood there uncomfortably, sheepishly waiting for a command. On accident, he caught her gaze. She understood the dispiritedness in his eyes and sighed. She beckoned him and he reluctantly shuffled closer; slipping her hand around the back of his neck, she pulled him even closer. "Hope, we have to talk." Immediately he ducked his head and she lifted his chin, her heart twisting cruelly when his lip quivered; he looked utterly humiliated. Hope, I'm so sorry.
"I-I'm sorry," he mumbled, moving out of her soft hold to stare into his scarf. "I-it was bad, it was stupid, I…I should've never—" he broke down, shoulders shaking; ashamed that he had to apologize for such a thing, for something he'd been proud of. "Please Light! I'm sorry, I only wanted to…" Tearfully, he looked up, her blue eyes wide. "I love you—"
"Enough!"
Shock riddled through him and emotionally crushed, he stared at her with unblinking eyes. She doesn't even want to hear it…
"Hope please, stop that, you've got it all wrong," she hastily wiped his tears, "Don't cry, don't cry over this. It wasn't bad, it wasn't stupid." She leaned down to his level, clutching his face, his green eyes intense on hers. "Maybe the timing was a little off." She bit her lip, giving a slight shake of her head, allowing a quiet laugh. "Ok, a lot off," she amended. "But that can't be helped now. You caught me in a weak moment, but you don't think I regretted it, do you?"
He nodded.
He's so ready to fall. "Hope, never have I felt so loved, you've succeeded…a thousand times over," she whispered. "How can I ever regret that?" As much as I should, I don't want to.
He gave a downward tilt of his head, looking up at her through dark lashes and silver bangs of hair; a look she knew too well and she smiled, pulling him into a hug. "Don't grow up too fast," she said, cradling the back of his head. Hands fisted her vest. "…You can depend on me a little longer."
"Light, I promised I'd—"
An exasperated groan. "You're too caught up in this 'protecting'; I don't need that." She grabbed his shoulders. A faint rosy blush colored her cheeks. "As stupid as this sounds coming from me, you being you—that's…all I need. Everything else? That can come much later." I had to give up my childhood; I don't want you to throw away what remains of yours. I promise I'll deal with as much as I can so you don't have to. Without thinking, she tucked his hair back, resting her palm against his cheek; he nuzzled her back absentmindedly, staring worriedly at her stomach.
"Hm?" She looked down, pulling at her vest to scrutinize the bloody print left by his hand. "I can get it out," she murmured dismissively.
Relieved at the turn of events, Hope met her eyes. "Can I still watch your back?" He grew faintly flustered, offering a shaky smile in return at her demure wink.
"I'm pretty sure that's in your nature." She nodded at his weapon lying in the snow. "Grab that and let's head in."
The sky's grayness, reflecting its dullness on the ground below, accentuated the pristine whiteness of the hulking man's overcoat. Blond hair peeked from beneath a white beanie, crystal blue eyes vigilant like those of a tundra wolf, broad shoulders set back, mouth a quiet, leering snarl, holding a heavy-duty, steel snow shovel like a grand scepter; a modern-day ice king who William knew held a burning desire to smash his head in, though nothing reflected such an animalistic urge beneath his cool restraint.
The younger Farron stepped out, glancing between the two before placing a small hand upon her husband's arm. She looked like a child next to his huge frame. Throwing him a dirty smirk as if to say his life had only been spared this time, Snow swung the shovel onto his shoulder, turning around to make his way around the house.
Hope and his protectress appeared in the doorway. His right hand was bandaged. William smiled thinly, gesturing into the flat-roofed canvas tent. "We have practically no time for the amount I have to get through with you."
Lightning leaned down to her sister's ear, keeping Hope back with her arm. "He pitched that tent by himself?"
Serah shook her head. "The crew that dropped him off actually set it up and they were super quick about it too, like they didn't want to be seen."
"But they're in front of our house…" The soldier's voice held genuine curiosity at the apparent stupidity. Her eyes narrowed. That really is a problem if they're trying to be discreet out in the open. "Stay near your hero."
Serah beamed. "I'll grab my mittens!"
Lightning batted the tent flap away. "Why is Dr. Wright being detained? And why are you helping us?" she asked briskly. A small army green cot stood in the back, black tarp covering the ground.
"No worries about Wright, he knew what he was doing. I'm sure you're well aware of the information he was leaking to you; he received one too many warnings. Being apprehended, we were on the same side of the fence on the same team and got to talking. I have no interest in purposefully harming the boy and I think Hope knows that by now, not that it should lessen his fright of me. I understand." He moved around the table, opening his laptop. "Magic and eidolons are my field of study; Hope's blessed predicament fascinates me. But like every scientist needs funding, I had to find someone who wanted the research done and was also willing to foot the bill. Wright offered me a deal, granting that if I could secure Hope a favorable future, meaning well…"
"Understood," she said coldly. He didn't go die and take half of us with him.
"A job within the Guardian Corps would be possible."
"Which means funding for you."
"Exactly. Does that clear your suspicion? Hope, why don't you sit on that cot so we can get started."
Lightning looked down when he didn't move. He was focusing on the floor, his hand limp in hers.
He arched his back weakly, trying to slide his hands from their metal wrist-restraints. He wiggled his hips, finding the leather strap easier to manipulate. Drawing up his knees, he pushed up with another wiggle, but the bands around his upper arms prevented him from sitting up. The stainless steel door opened and Hope went in an all-out helpless flail. William sighed at the sight. "The table was never meant to restrain a child, especially one so thin. They really should feed you more. We might get better testing results."
He whimpered at the blue vial the professor was carrying. "What's that?" he asked nervously.
"I hope you understand that nothing we're doing is supposed to hurt you, but unfortunately, you pose an interesting threat and our budding little government wishes to keep you close and documented."
"You were trying to kill me before!"
"My loyalty lies with those who can afford me and even then I'm not a murderer. Why kill the specimen? I was Angeal's research assistant, not that brute Mute of his—though you do have him to thank. Without his blood, you'd still be convulsing as your body tried to futilely reject itself…which would've inevitably led you to die from sheer exhaustion." William picked up an empty syringe from the cart. "This brief sting will be nothing compared to pain you're about to feel. If you concentrate, you should be able to block it out."
"STOOOOOOOP! STOOOOOOOOP! PLEEEEEASE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Hope shook his head wildly, fearing the reaction. "Let me go home!" He bit his lip, watching the tip of the needle pierce his arm. "Where's my dad?" he cried. "Where's my dad? Oww, make it stop, make it stop!"
Three fold-up chairs surrounded a meeting table covering as a mini lab station with empty beakers, a velvet open pouch filled with white granular powder and a couple of magnifying glasses. "Hope," Lightning repeated, squeezing his hand. "He wants you on the cot."
The little shaggy-haired boy gave a toothy grin, eagerly extending a tan hand between the steel bars. "I'm Nisha," he said. "An honor to meet you, shaman." Crouching down, a black and yellow tunic draped his skinny frame.
Hope shook his head, crawling forward and shaking his cold hand. "I'm nothing like that. I'm just Hope."
The boy widened his eyes in awe. "Hope?" He settled back against the bars; the moonlight illuminating his sallow face; a black sun was tattooed beneath the corner of his left eye. "That's a good name for you." He gave a weak cough.
"Are you sick?"
Nisha didn't let go of his hand. "No, it's just the side effects of the injection they gave me," he said, his voice losing a bit of its cheeriness. "They're convinced I have magic."
Hope rested against the bars, tilting his head. "You don't?"
"No, I can only sense when others have it." He wiped his nose. "So that man was your dad?"
Hope didn't say anything for a while. "How long have you been here?" he asked quietly.
Nisha too was silent for a couple minutes. "A month," he said finally. "I tagged along on a hunting trip when I should've stayed home."
He watched his blood being drawn with mild surprise; Lightning noticed his sudden awareness. "Welcome back," she murmured wryly. "What's wrong with your chest?" Her eyes held a cool sternness.
He blinked. "W-what?"
A cotton ball was pressed to the crook of his arm. William adjusted his glasses. "You spaced out for a bit and Lightning lifted you onto here. Gave quite a wince."
Is she going to be mad? He shrugged. "It hurts sometimes," he mumbled.
"I'm not too much of a doctor, but I do recall you had a couple fractured ribs. Taking into account that it can take four to six weeks for the pain to subside and your recent escapade, I'm surprised…well maybe I'm not. You say 'sometimes'?"
Hope nodded. Her cool look turned heated.
"Until you become in tune with this guardian energy, for the most part it is going to engage you, rather than the other way around. This isn't your fault, since you need time to let your body balance itself out. In short I am saying that, your ability to heal yourself is sporadic, superficial and completely out of your grasp. Sometimes nerve receptors are blocked, other times you feel the exact weight of your injuries." He ejected a droplet of blood onto a clear disk. "Because of the capable young woman standing next to you, and much to the chagrin of the Sanctum, you'll always have access to this magnificent force; think of her as a sort of powerhouse."
"But that's dangerous, isn't it?" Hope burst out. When'd that even happen?
William smiled. "Tell me Farron, have you experienced anything odd? I can't tell how the symptoms would manifest themselves, but I certainly won't negate the threats they present."
Lightning looked away. "So what if I have?"
"Follow me to the table; I've got a rudimentary example to show that might shed a little light."
"Lightning…" She shushed him and jumping from the cot, he trailed after her.
Grabbing into a gray box, the professor quickly created a block from twenty-five sugar cubes. "This represents the energy she's carrying for you, I know it doesn't look that menacing, but bear with me." Hunching over the velvet pouch, he used fine tweezers in an attempt to grab a single white grain; he ended up putting a couple down and slid three to the cube. Nearly impossible to see, he hovered a magnifying glass over them.
"This is how much you need to destroy the entire world."
Lightning's mouth went dry and she grabbed Hope's arm as he tottered back.
"In moderation, you never have to end up hurting her. What you probably don't realize is that what she's storing for you is so…concentrated, you need less than that to accomplish whatever task. Here's where the trouble starts; you need to fight something," he slid two grains away, "you tap a little from her and it turns out two is too much for your body to handle. So," he slid one back to the cube, "it rebounds, snaps back and hits her; its chemistry is changed and she can't accept it. The effect could be minor; it could also be her death."
Hope turned to her, anguished. "I've already been doing it to you—"
"Right and I'm not dead—"
"But—"
"So what, Hope?" she snapped. "You can't take it back, now can you? You have to deal with this, you don't have a choice."
I don't. I really don't. If I mess this up, I'll kill her. "I'm still scared though," he said timidly.
A reluctant smile graced her lips and she sat down next to him. "That part's ok." I'm terrified too.
"So how do I make sure…" He looked down, biting his lip.
William nodded. "It's tricky, Hope. That's on you. There's no room for trial and error. The thing with the grains, of course, isn't precise. Think more of the lines of a handful destroying the entire world…"
Lightning pursed her lips, frowning. "He can't feel it."
He tapped his temple. "All in here. Mind's the master; self-confidence is the key. If we had the leisure time, I'd suggest Hope take someone else, get far away from you and practicing drawing from them. I can almost guarantee no one else is carrying even half a quarter of what you have—someone might not even have a handful—and when he gets used to that, it should be easier for him to restrain himself when it comes to you."
Hope raised his eyes to the professor's. "But we don't have the time," he deduced solemnly.
"Hope, I'm going to be frank. If you hadn't reached Lightning in the time you had, you'd be dead. All of you would be. Now, Sanctum's a bit hesitant because they theoretically know what you're capable of when you've got a carrier with you. With the reports I gave Blanney, they're going to count on you being simply too inexperienced and hope that you hurt yourself more than you do them."
Lightning crossed her legs. "Sounds like a fight."
"One they want to keep under wraps." William shot Hope a look. "The autopsy blew your cover, but they aren't going to let anyone know. They're trying to come up with a way to execute the 'remaining ex-l'cie' without enraging the public. You've become heroes of tragedy."
Gunmetal-blue eyes narrowed. "But we don't stand a chance out here. We aren't l'cie."
"And unfortunately courtesy of Nathaniel Millay, you've been temporarily suspended from the Guardian Corps for assaulting a superior, so back up's out of the question."
Her breathing came to an abrupt halt. Suspended? She gritted her teeth. Fucking bastard. You can't wait to die, can you? Hope's worried tug forced her to calm down. Her side of the incident hadn't been told; she could get it straightened out. The GC made me who I am; I'm not going to let that asshole tarnish my standing. "Asnida's our only option of survival then."
Hope froze. Asnida is where everyone dies.
"Indeed it'd be your best bet and PSICOM would have no choice but to follow you. I really wouldn't put it off for long…today's Tuesday? The entire military will be on you Thursday."
Her exhale hid her sinking despair. Can we even hope to win? "You ok?" she asked softly. Hope looked at her with tears in his eyes. She swallowed, wishing she could take him in her arms, but she wasn't about to move any closer with the professor watching.
William cleared his throat. "Despite how starkly the odds are against you, you do and always will have the advantage." He attempted an encouraging smile at the young teenager. "Have something to protect, to live for and it becomes a matter of knowing you can do it."
Lightning rolled her eyes. Not this protecting business again. "I'd appre—" she stopped, standing up quickly, her right arm shooting out to prevent Hope getting up after her. She directed her gaze to the zippered door, watching as it billowed from the breeze. She could detect it: picking it out from the metallic chinks of the shovel, the loud sloshing splatter of snow being thrown, clapping distorted by the wind, mingling with the snapping of the canvas being toyed with—footsteps running through the snow, towards them, not from behind. Her gunblade whipped out, a clean slice through the air as it locked into position.
"Light!" Are we being attacked? Scrambling frantically, Hope knocked his chair over, darting after her, bursting out of the jagged rip in the tent. Momentarily blinded, he crashed into her side, a harsh shove sending him back. "Whhhoa!" Arms flailing for futile balance, he tripped backwards, staring at the red pinpoints on the black guns trained on him.
"Target located!"
"Target confirmed!" The three PSICOM soldiers formed a half-circle, black masks shielding their faces.
"Only three?" Lightning stepped into the sight of their weapons. Haughtily lifting her gunblade behind her head, she raised her other arm, issuing a lofty challenge with a sly smirk.
Hope gave a short, crazed laugh, caught between admiring her and wanting to yank her into the house by her cape. He'd only seen her act this way a few times, mostly when it was just the two of them or if she also had Vanille to watch out for. An ego-related manner, the soldiers had the option of targeting him, a young boy, or the arrogant woman who not only deigned to see them as a threat by standing so casually, but also had the nerve to be beckoning them with her middle finger.
He swallowed. As aggressive and viciously possessive as she became, she simply didn't have the body to sustain being a sentinel for very long. She'll let them kill her before she gives up!
One of the men dropped his gun and made a dash for her; Lightning tensed, swinging her blade at the last minute, catching him beneath the chin—a spray of blood fanned from the stumped neck. Before the body could even drop to the ground, shots rang out—she let out a pitiful, sharp yelp, her arm still outstretched, silver weapon falling tip first as the handle slipped from her grasp. Her legs buckled, her descent slow, her body twisting to its side before crumpling over the decapitated corpse.
"ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!" Snow barreled towards them, wielding the massive shovel. He hurled himself into the air, torpedoing the short distance into the waist of a PSICOM infiltrator.
Serah danced around, shrieking at the prone form of her sister before running to her, slipping on the patch of ice. She cowered at the round of gun shots and crawled through the snow. "Claaaaaaire! Claaaaaire!"
"Maker," Hope choked, gagging as his hand splashed into a pool of warm blood from the severed head. He wiped it frantically against his pants, pulling at Lightning's shoulder, rolling her off the body. Etro, where'd she get hit? She fell so soon, where'd she get hit? "Lightning," he pleaded, tugging her onto his lap. Blood dappled her face like macabre freckles, a red tear falling from open blues. "Liiiiiiight," he sobbed, shaking her. She can't die! He glanced at her torso, whimpering at the two growing blotches; instantly he knew why she'd stopped moving. He tore at her vest, a tattered hole dangerously close to where her heart would be. "Don't die," he begged. The weight in his arms grew scarcely heavier. "Just hang on, hang on for me, ok?" I can't screw this up…I don't even know where to begin!
I'm grabbing at nothing, but I have to pretend I am…no, I have to KNOW I am. Lightning… Everything about her felt too much, every part of her overwhelmed him; her touch electrified him, holding her hand would be a sure way of destroying the world, her smile made him dizzy and there was no way he had power over her luminous blue eyes. "Lightning, hold on." He cradled her closer, a tangle of pink slipping over his arm. Her hair. Soft, delicate, he could easily wrap it around his finger; smoothing it down soothed him and she never minded. Relief calmed him, he slid his hand to her left side, covering the wound with his palm. As much as can slip through my fingers, that's all I need. "You're going to be ok," he said softly, sniffling. "You're going to be fine."
"Claire!" Serah landed next to him, Snow staying rooted to his spot a couple paces back. William watched wordlessly through the tear in the tent.
He almost missed her blink. Her name was just a tiny mewl from his lips; he was graced with a weak smile. He unclenched his shaking hand, crying at the two red bullets; blood stained unbroken skin. "I did it." Arms wrapped around his shoulders as Lightning sat up slowly. A shy kiss was pressed to his cheek.
"You saved my life," she whispered. She hadn't expected to go down so quickly; it had been a lucky shot for them. I really thought…it was it for me.
"Hey would you look at you," Snow congratulated. "A step up the 'hero ladder'."
Lightning looked at the carnage, then at her own blood-spattered body and realized how closely her sister was breathing on her shoulder. "Snow, you idiot, get Serah out of here!"
"Aw sorry." Snow leapt over the bodies, shedding his ruined coat before picking up his shaken wife. "Babe, look at me. Everything's cool."
"Looking at dead people is so different from looking at dead monsters," she whispered as Snow carried her away.
"How do you feel?" Hope asked. Light lifted her head from his shoulder.
"I'm fine…after a shower and a nap, I'll be even better." A frown crossed her features and she stared at the dead PSICOM. "But what's with them?" Were they scouting or are we about to get swamped?
"I just called it in." William stepped closer, staying away from the soiled snow. "Looks like they were just eager." He pushed his glasses up. "Funny how you didn't react at all to our tests, yet you destroyed half our facility and saved someone dear to you."
Stunned, Hope blinked as Lightning performed a backwards somersault right off his lap; her shadow suddenly standing over him. Wow. She picked up her gunblade, giving it a swift flick. "Let's go in. Snow can clean this up." She glanced at the professor. "And you?"
"Tomorrow would be cutting it short. Can you expect me in a couple hours?"
She nodded and said nothing, pulling together a faint smile when Hope took her hand, his arm brushing against hers. Once inside, she gently shook the silveret off and beelined for her room.
Hope rubbed at the flaking skin on his left arm. The injections had all kinds of adverse side effects and none of them seemed to be what the researchers were looking for. His stomach grumbled, but the thought of food made him want to throw up. The last shot had to be given on an empty stomach, making him incredibly nauseous.
The guard opened the door to his cell. "Get in," he muttered. He had been surprised at the youth of the occupant; then again, most were, but they still didn't do anything to help him. Hope shuffled in, glad that at least he wasn't being shackled. He scratched absentmindedly at his arm again. When the guard left, he sat on the cement floor, disgusted by the musty bed in the corner.
"Hope!" cried an ecstatic voice.
"Shut up!" growled another guard. "Should have you two separated."
Hope gave a wry chuckle. The basement was filled with sixteen cells, eight on each side and they were the only ones there. Even on opposite sides they'd be able to talk to each other.
Nisha jumped into his designated space, waiting until the mean-tempered man went up the stairs. He eagerly ran to the bars. "Hope, Hope, look!" He lifted his tunic.
Hope stared. Beneath bony ribs and above his belly button was a black sun, every other squiggly ray an arrow. He could only assume it hadn't been there before. That meant… "You're a…"
"I've been blessed! I had a spirit dream last night," he clung to the bars excitedly, "and the goddess granted me a focus," he whispered, smiling like it was the greatest honor.
"You're a l'cie."
"Pulse l'cie, that's right—normally only the older people get it, but I'm so lucky to have met you. I get to help you get out of here; I've got to get you home. That's my focus. At least I'm pretty sure it is."
There wasn't a fal'cie around. How could he have gotten turned into a l'cie? Hope swallowed. "But you know what happens if you don't complete it, right?"
"That's if I fail, but I'm not going to. Don't worry, I won't let you down, shaman." Nisha held out his hand and resignedly Hope took it. "We could do it right now; I've got my magic. It's what these guys wanted, right? Well I can give it to 'em!"
"W-wait, what did you exactly see in your dream?"
"It was pretty hazy, I remember a couple of explosions, we were in a forest…and then…hmmm, oh yeah, I saw you with this pretty woman, she looked strong enough to be one of our priestesses. Does she take care of you?"
Hope looked down. He had to mean Lightning. "Well…I want to be able to take care of her."
"Then do it! I'll take you home so you can." Nisha squeezed his hand. "No time like the present, I want to go home too; I bet my mama's worried sick. I'm sure they all think I'm dead!" He stood up, grinning. "Let's go Hope."
Snow stretched his arms over the back of the couch, one hand was inches away from Lightning's shoulder, but with the other he accidentally knocked Sazh in the neck. He stifled a snort. "Sorry man." He looked down at Hope, curled up, napping on his lap and Light's; through silver bangs, tears glistened in his lashes. Aw buddy. Sucking in his cheek, he nudged Lightning, nodding down.
Sitting in the recliner, William sat up, trying not to sink in. "It was possible he entered a trance—that would explain the demon guides; they generally appear to keep shamans from straying too far into the fourth realm, which is essentially land of the non-living. It would also explain how he was able to make it so far without succumbing to the elements." He shook his head enviously. "I'm sure it was a sight to behold."
Sazh frowned. More like a sight to blanket your son from. "What about the warriors? It wasn't just those crazy birds hopping around. They were like ghosts."
"It would be helpful if we could wake Hope up…" William looked at Lightning.
"Would we live without it?" she asked tonelessly.
"Well, yes, but—"
"Then there's your answer."
Serah rocked back and forth in her ancient chair, hugging her knees. She tipped to the side, bumping against the couch arm. She peeked over the edge. "Sis, he's crying," she whispered.
How could you miss Snow pointing that out to me? Wiping her thumb carefully beneath his eyes, she didn't mean for him to wake up. Confusion lasting only a blink, he sniffled, hiding his face against her stomach while he pulled himself together. Lightning shot her sister a dull look.
"Mr. William, it's been a pleasure having you in our home, but I'm going to have to call it a night." Snow moved to stand up, remembering Hope was partially on him. "You probably shouldn't create potions in your little tent or anything. I'm a dangerous sleepwalker." He earned a dry smile from Lightning.
Sazh clapped him on the shoulder. "I'll escort him out. I'll see you guys tomorrow and on Thursday."
"You sure?" Snow asked quietly, blue eyes worried.
"Hey hey, don't doubt me now. Some things you just leave to chance; we gotta go in, knowing we're gonna come out." He waved William over. "C'mon Mr. Professor."
"Say hi to Dajh for me," Serah called.
"Sure will."
Rubbing his arm, she gave him a pat signaling him to get up; Hope complied, ducking his head when his muscles decided they wanted to stretch instead, prolonging his stay on her lap.
I want to go home; I miss my mama…
Hope closed his eyes. I'm so sorry Nisha, please forgive me. I didn't mean to, I never meant to lash out like that. A soft stroke ran down his cheek.
"What are you thinking about?"
"My friend… He really was just a kid and in so many ways, he was braver than I was. I-I don't get it; somehow he was turned into a l'cie to help me escape and he was so…happy about it like it was all he wanted to do in the world." He traced the scars around his wrist. "And before I killed him, I told he'd never go home again, he'd never see his mother! I know how it feels, I'd never wish that on someone else."
She touched the tip of the scar peeking from his teal scarf. "You can't set yourself up like that," she said quietly, resting her hand on his collar bone.
Snow scratched his head. "I'm sure the kid can rest easy knowing you made it home."
I'll find a way to bring you home; I'll tell your family the truth. Suddenly drained, Hope nodded forward, yawning,
Lightning looked down, casting Serah a mixed look. I can't sleep with him. Serah offered a tiny, supportive smile.
"Hey Snow," she started, placing a hand on Light's shoulder. "I wanna sleep with Sis tonight, do you mind? After today…" she faltered when she realized how true her words were, "I feel like hugging her and not letting go." Three times I've almost lost you.
Lightning felt her cheeks redden. She rolled her eyes, unable to keep the barb from rolling off her tongue. "Maker Serah, no reason to make it sound like we're going to spoon all night."
Snow guffawed heartily and Lightning clucked her tongue when both Serah and Hope blushed; though her sister did end up looking a bit hurt. She sighed. "I'm kidding, I love you."
"I know," she mumbled.
Now Hope grew a little worried, feeling selfish for doing so. Serah has more a right of sleeping with her, than… Abashed, he tried to erase the frustrated pout from his face. "Light, you keep the nightmares away," he pleaded, hating himself for say it. "Please…"
And I have to keep some kind of boundary between us. But did she? Couldn't she just keep better control of herself?
A huge grin erupted onto Snow's face. "Hey, I got an idea, why don't we all just sleep down here?" he proposed. "That way these two can both snuggle with you…and I don't have to be alone either…"
"Aww!" Serah carefully got up from the unstable chair, inched her way between the couch, legs and coffee table before diving into his arms. "You make me feel bad." She kissed his stubbly cheek. "Sis, let's do that, so he isn't left out."
Lightning blinked, unaffected. "He's a grown man."
"Sis…" Snow looked close to pouting. Hope and Serah waited patiently.
Lightning relented. "Ok fine, but this couch isn't going to work." Both of you cling like monkeys.
"Sweet! I can fix that too." Snow stood up. "Hey Serah, go grab the blankets and pillows from upstairs."
"'Kay!"
Snow pushed the low table out of the way, placing the chair back in its forgotten corner and snagging the cushion from the recliner. "Up up." Lightning rolled her eyes, but stood up; Hope following suit. Snow cleaned the couch of its cushions too, throwing them onto the floor. "There, get a little fire going and we'll have ourselves a little cozy family campout."
Unused to the sound of Snow's snoring, Lightning laid awake amidst a pile of warm bodies. Her fingers still intertwined with her sister's, Serah had started off sleeping close to Snow, but as soon as he fell asleep, she'd inched herself closer. Unfortunately, Snow had unconsciously tracked her movement and now sandwiched between her sister and husband, Serah had 'starfished' out in order to create room for herself.
Cocooned in a blanket, Hope was sleeping peacefully; the older Farron keeping a vigilant eye on him, prepared to caress away whatever shadow crossed his face.
Light groaned quietly, wiggling her captive fingers.
"Hey Light?" his soft whisper startled her. Her pained yelp rang through his head. She doesn't have the strength of a l'cie; she knew she couldn't stand being shot at…
"Did I wake you?" A tired smile on her face, she looked miserable. Serah sputtered a cough softly. "She tends to swallow wrong sleeping on her back." There was a hidden fondness in her voice. Curiosity flickered in her eyes. "So how'd you do it? Save me?"
He pulled the blanket up to his eyes. "Don't laugh, ok? I thought of your hair."
"You should've waited until I agreed not to laugh." She nestled into her pillow, staring at him. "I'm proud of you."
His heart swelled with happiness. She gave a tiny huff at Serah's wiggle. He swallowed. "Please don't risk your life for me again."
She made an effort to tousle his hair. "Sorry," she said quietly. Whether it's against the creatures of Pluse, people, or myself…especially myself… "My fight for you never ends."
Ahaha, see what I did there? Managed to tie in the title :D I know there were moments where elaboration would've been key, but it was stressing enough with a four-legged piece of chaos begging for constant attention (though he really is adorable). The next chapter will be the last! One last grand battle to wrap things up, and at Asnida, we know what happens! Eidolons! Yay! Because of the awesomeness it has to hold, it'll no doubt take two weeks to do... Now I must be off to re-wet my cold towel and hide back under my blanket. Leave a review if you're so inclined!