I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees a potential for this story. I hope it's good enough.

*click*

"-Heavy rains coming-"

"No."

*click*

"No."

"-And we're going to the playoffs-"

"No."

*click*

"-we now return to-"

"Don't care."

*click*

"-My Little Po-"

"Later."

*click*

"-Everywhere you look-"

"Hell no!"

*click*

"-Avengers are on the scene now-"

*click*

Clickety click and more click. And now it's official: I'm bored. Nothing on TV, no contracts, no missions, no black ops, played all my games, and no one wants to hang out.

I suppose I could get up myself and see if Spider-Man's doing anything cool or if the X-Men have yet another member but I just get this feeling that they hate me. I don't know why but I do.

So, stuck in a fuckhole that no one wants to fuck between battling of boredom and actually doing something about this boredom...

...Yeah, nothing. Ugh, it's not easy being a merc.

I'm Wade Wilson, by the way. You know, "Merc with the Mouth", "Woo-Hoo of Woo-Hoos", yeah yeah, all that stuff. Sorry, if it wasn't obvious before. I honestly wish this introduction could have been a little better but lately, I've been feeling what is known as depression.

That thing you get where you feel more than just sad and you're trying your best to distract yourself with anything hoping it'll be gone by that time but end up making it worse and you get it, even more than before, resulting in you asking yourself questions like "What am I doing with my life?" "Does anyone care?" and, most recently, "Why am I here?"

...No, seriously, why am I here? I'm in a world with countless heroes and they don't need me. And when I do help them, it ends with them scolding me, calling me a lunatic, and making me feel like douche. Which is what I feel right now! "Well, if you feel that way, why don't you just kill yourself and let your body be shown on the internet and start a controversy?" First of all, nice hit. Second of all- actually, never mind. I'm sure you all know why that's a pointless option.

*click*

I'm just sitting here contemplating my place in the universe in front of a TV, a crappy TV mind you, which...is turned off...

"Wait a second, click?"

*CRASH*

*FFSSHHHH*

OK, I'm up now! There's gas spreading the room. Yep, something's happening now! And that something is tear gas filling the room and I'm already coughing. Weird, it's supposed to take effect for about thirty seconds.

Hey, something's happening! Huh, ask and you shall receive-

*BASH*

"UGH!" a blow from to butt of a rifle to the back of your head that sends you to the floor...still something.

I've got my pistol in my hand so I could just-

*STOMP*

"ARGH!" watch as foot stomps on my wrist making me lose my gun! Goddammit! And now my hands are being tied behind my back.

"C'mon! The tear gas is making me itch!" They're not listening. "Okay. fine! Ignore me! Just so you know: one of you assholes are scratching for me!"

"Target secure." The guy, standing in front of me, says. Wonder just who is he talking to? I'd love to pay an equally unexpected visit in return. At least it's the thought that counts.

"Yes, sir." Oh boy, he's raising his foot. "Lights out, freak." He said, calmly.

"Well, that's not ni-"

*STOMP*

Everything's dark now. Well, I wanted something to happen so might as well see where this goes.

...

"...is ugly!..."

"He's waking up!"

"No, he's not."

There's a needle in my neck. Okay, going to sleep now...

...

"...sedative worked relatively..."

"...very dangerous-"

"And can be beneficial to our c-"

"He's waking up again!"

"Not again! Hand me the-"

"Done."

There it is again. And there I go again...

...

"...are not finished, though. We need more time to properly-Oh no! He's waking up!"

"What?! How is he doing this?"

"He's becoming immune to it. Soon, it won't work anymore. We have no choice. If it's to be completed, then we must-"

I'm opening my eyes, and it's a little blurry but it's familiar sight-

Oh, now it's two needles! Hmm, somebody's getting desperate...

...

"...He's waking up."

"Too late now. Begin the freezing process."

Freezing process?!

"W-what? No! NO! LET ME OUTTA HERE!". I'm feeling real frozen right now. This guy's true to his word. Well, in hindsight, struggling is pointless seeing as my hands are tied to bolted restraints(if that makes sense) but if I'm going down then I'll go with a joke. "I WON"T GO THE WAY OF CAPTAIN AMERICA!" "

"Good riddance." some dick said. I could swear I hear the smirk in his voice. Argh, I find someone to hate and now I CAN'T EVEN HURT HIM?!

"NNNOOOOOOOOO-"

...

-OOOOO! NO! NO! N- Oh, I think I'm getting consciousness back. Yep, the ice is melting. Wait, why do I feel heavier? Lemme look at me. Holy shit! I'm wearing armor! But I wasn't wearing it before, when did I get this? Looks very Iron-Man only...not. Hey, I'm still bolted down. Let's fix that.

"Hnh HIYA!" Yanked 'em right off! Very poor design choice to leave those bost easy to break. Then again, I couldn't do that before so maybe it's thanks to this armor.

"Hey! You doin' okay?"

I look up to see-

(OK, let me actually tell you what I saw. I saw colors attached to human-shaped people in armor just like mine. Three looked feminine. The colors I saw were tan, purple with some green, orchid with green, white, grey, brown, aqua, cyan, and white with a gold face. The gold head was the biggest out of all of them, three I could tell were girls and the rest were guys. Yeesh, tough crowd. Why am I describing right now? Because I just woke up from being a Captain America rip-off, saw their weapons at ready, and the first thing that came to my mind wasn't describing taking in their appearance. It was-)

"ROBOTS!" I screamed, taking out two pistols, which I didn't know I had, and just started shooting at them.

Naturally, they dodged out of the way and either took cover behind some stuff. I wasn't paying attention. There was a voice in my head saying "kill, kill, kill" and I couldn't help but listen to it.

"Woah, take it easy buddy!" The tan one said, crouching then getting up and then walking towards me, "We're not robots!"

I was about to shoot him but the cyan one kicked the gun out of my hand. Out of instinct, I took out my katanas, which were now future-y, and sliced at her and she began to dodge while the other gut joined in trying to disarm me but I took out my other sword and try to hit him too. They both jumped away to get some distance from me.

"Not robots, huh? That means you bleed. I can help with that."

To sum this up in three words: WHAT THE SHIT?!

Done. Hope that was good. I didn't think so. Writing in first person isn't something I do very often and I think it's rare to do it. So, who jumped Deadpool? Why is he wearing armor instead of spandex? Why are the Freelancers here and why is Deadpool attacking them? All of that and, hopefully, more! Next time!

Alright, ciao!