Ahsoka makes it through the first hallway unchallenged, and then her luck runs out.
She sprints around a corner, 'sabers out and blazing, and almost plows straight into a squad of young cadets; they're accompanied by a clone in full armor, though not painted (no battalion then, either based on Kamino or a shiny), who takes one look at her and her men and swears. "Is something wrong, sir?"
"Move," she growls out. "Boys, stun anyone who gets in the way. Stun only." They aren't going to kill any of the vod'e today.
The Kaminoans, well… maybe. It depends on how much they behave.
Rex is panicking in the back of her mind and she can't seem to reach him, he's projecting a desperate help, please, 'Soka at her but his fear is so thick and choking she can't get anything through to him. She stops, spears the clone with her gaze, snarls out, "Where do they take the men for reconditioning?" Her voice doesn't even sound like her own.
"Level three, the medical level," the clone starts, and then a Kaminoan steps into the hallway from one of the doors and he falls silent.
Ahsoka stalks forward, leaves the clone behind (he doesn't matter), gaze focused entirely on the Kaminoan in front of her. "Where is he."
The woman looks from Ahsoka to her 'sabers to her men and says, perfectly calm, "The Jedi have no authority in matters concerning GAR regulations."
"I'm no Jedi," and she takes another step forward, her hands tightening around her 'saber hilts. "I'll ask you again. Where is he?"
The Kaminoan just… smiles, sort of, sending a shiver of foreboding down Ahsoka's spine, and then she pulls something out of her belt and presses a button. The lights glare red and there's some kind of alert ringing loud through the air and the woman says, "Good luck," and she's gone.
"Commander?" Fives asks.
Kriff, kriff, kriff. She has to think. She closes her eyes, breathes in deep and centers herself in the Force, finds the bond pulsing with life like a compass pointing always to Rex. "I can find him," she says, opens her eyes, nods once. "I need time, I just need time," but they don't have time and every second she wastes is another second closer to losing him and-
"Breathe," Tuck reminds her (why are they both here, she'd only wanted one of them).
Soka!
The scream is instinctive, terrified and pained and it nearly breaks her. Rex, but he's still so scared and she can't reach him, so she just runs through the winding white corridors (a squadron of clones shows up out of nowhere, firing blasters, and she deflects the shots back and she thinks a few of the bolts hit their mark and she can't, she doesn't want to kill them but she has to get to Rex), following the bond and hoping, praying this works.
She skids around another corner, feels Rex's panic spike at the realization that it's happening, and she swears in Mando'a and reaches for him, grabs tight to the bond and projects as hard as she can. Rex, oh Force. I'm going to get there, I promise .
There's no real answer, but she feels his panic fade a bit as he feels her anger, and he's focusing more but she doesn't think this is good, this isn't better, something still feels wrong, and she snarls because she can't let this happen. Another corner, stairs-she just jumps the entire set, lands and takes off again, her men stun the next squadron of clones and she keeps moving, because she cannot stop. Not for even a moment.
If she stops, she'll be too late.
And then, and then, his panic and anger just… disappear.
In their place is despair, cold and harsh and suffocating, and she swears because this is bad, this is really bad. Don't you dare, she sends fiercely, because he's giving up and he can't. Her breath is coming in short gasps and her side hurts and she's probably going to regret this later but she pulls on the Force to increase her speed. She'll deal with the consequences later.
Soka, it's okay, he tells her.
But it's not. It's not okay and why can't she find the kriffing room and she can't lose him, she can't, not now, not after everything! Stop, she snarlsout at him, I'm coming, you're going to be fine, but he doesn't believe her and he's giving up and-
And Force, she can't do this. She's going to fail (another door flies open, but there's nothing behind it, nothing, and she growls and moves on) him, she's going to lose him-
I'm sorry, no, no, no, I love you, my Jedi, and she can't listen to this.
You're not leaving! He's not. She won't let him. She, she-
Cyare, he says, and no no no this can't be happening, because he's saying goodbye. Mhi solus tome, and she projects a fierce shut up! at him but he ignores it, keeps going (someone's shaking her and she realizes she's stopped moving, she's curled over her knees and panting and lost and she forces herself to straighten, grabs onto the bond as tightly as she can and commands the Force to show her the way). Mhi solus dar'tome, bal mhi me'dinui an. Ret'urcye mhi, ner'jetii.
A part of her recognizes the words, knows their significance, and she thinks she's crying because suddenly it's hard to see. But the Force is clear,suddenly, and she screams for him because he has to hang on. Rex!
There's nothing, no response, but she's found him, the Force directing her to a nearly invisible door in the white, white wall and she doesn't bother with the lock, just slams her 'sabers into the metal and carves a hole, Force-pushing the excess metal into the room and into a Kaminoan doctor.
Rex is sedated, she thinks, secured on an operating table in just his blacks, and there's several Kaminoans clustered around him. They all look up when the door suddenly acquires a hole, and the surprise on their faces would be almost comical if it weren't for the sheer terror flooding her veins. "Get away from him!" and she raises her 'sabers (her troopers follow her into the room, blasters up, no longer set to stun), flicks two fingers and throws the doctor nearest Rex into a wall.
There's a moment of silence, and then the Kaminoans slowly step back, hands raised in surrender. "Stun them," Ahsoka orders, and the air momentarily fills with pulses of blue energy as her men fire. Fives has a couple pairs of binders on him, and he makes quick work of securing the Kaminoans-Ahsoka doesn't extinguish her lightsabers until the last one is cuffed. Dogma and Tup take up a watch on the door, and Kix and Tuck are right by her side as she hurries to the table, undoes the straps with trembling hands.
Rex? Rex, cyare, please, please, please, and she's crying, her shaking fingers ghosting over the bones in his face. Please come back, I'm here, I promise.
...
They inject him again with something else, something that makes his thoughts go indistinct and vague and he can't think and it makes everything worse, and he's cold and can't move and can't think and he wants to go home.
It's a struggle to hold a coherent thought beyond feelings, faint ideas, and so when the room erupts into chaos all he can do is pull back into his mind, hide from it, some sleeping part of him hoping .
The chaos doesn't last and Rex is aware enough to recognize the doctors are gone and that's good , he knows that. Then there are hands busy around him and a pressure releases off his chest and hips and arms, and it feels good except he still can't quite move.
Rex? Rex, cyare, please, please, please , please come back, I'm here, I promise. It's her, it's his Soka and he still can't think but he tries to reach back and form an answer anyway because she's here and safe, and he struggles to focus, open his eyes, because he wants to see her and know it's real.
Someone takes his wrist, presses on it for a moment, then someone else suddenly grabs his face and cracks one of his eyes open. "He's drugged up, Commander, but it'll wear off pretty fast. We should take him and go."
She digs into his mind, starts chasing out the fog, and Rex hangs onto her, to returning awareness.
When it all comes crashing back, though, he's ashamed to find he bursts into tears, pent-up sobs dragged out of his chest, and he wants to curl in on himself but his muscles still won't cooperate. Soka, oh little gods, Soka, you're here. She's so close and he can't believe it. Someone rolls him over onto his side and that helps with the crying.
He almost lost them. He almost lost himself .
Soka, ner'jetii, ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. He's not sure why Basic is so hard but he forces his eyes open and Ahsoka's hand is tracing gentle over his cheek and he's still crying but he can focus . She looks soft and lovely and dangerous and he manages something approximating a smile, which is harder when he's still shaking and sobbing.
"Oh Force, Rex," she says, and he feels heady relief and she smiles at him, swipes his tears away with the pad of her thumb.
Thank you , he says. He wants to apologize, too, for saying goodbye , but he won't. He does, however, shield the meaning of the promise he'd made. It might be too much and he doesn't know how to explain it.
Little gods, he wishes he could move, but the best he can manage is small things.
Still here, he thinks, makes a wry face (and it's not funny but he's exhausted). Sorry to disappoint .
I'm going to kill you, she says, fierce, and he has time to laugh once, shortly, before she's slipped her hand around the back of his head and bent down to kiss him. He hums, kisses back as best he can, and he kind of can't believe it and he can taste tears and she feels a little desperate still.
Sorry, Soka, he thinks, gentle, I'm fine. It's okay .
There's feeling easing back into his limbs, and he remembers bruises and his side and he still has a headache but her lips are soft and her fingers are gentle against his head and he's alive and okay and they didn't take her.
...
Ahsoka pulls back after a moment, knowing Kix is right: they have to get out of here fast. But Rex is here and he's not gone and she can't quite bring herself to let go.
"Commander," Jesse says, and she nods. "If we don't move we'll have company."
She nods again, hums an agreement, but she's more focused on something one of the doctors had said. What did he mean, your chip, Rex? she asks, showing him the memory. What chip?
There's another question she wants to ask, because she's pretty sure Rex said goodbye with Mandalorian marriage vows (not that she's ever looked those customs up on the HoloNet, she has no reason to, of course), but that can wait.
The Force is shouting a warning at her, and she thinks it's because of the chip.
...
Rex sends the mental equivalent of a shrug at her as she and Kix help him off the table. He still can't really support his own weight but he can tell his muscles are starting to respond again. He has no idea what they were saying about a chip and right now he couldn't care less. He just wants to get the hells out of here.
Although they're marching out of the room now, Rex senses Ahsoka isn't going to leave that alone. "You don't know? Kix, the doctors said something about a 'chip.' What does that mean?"
"I don't know, Commander." Ahsoka's little squad is flanking them and she has her yellow saber out, protecting him. "I've never heard anything about chips before. It must be something to do with the reconditioning."
Rex doesn't know why that's bothering her so much. They don't even know what was meant by "his chip" and it hardly matters right now. They need to get out. They're surrounded and their squad is small (if competent).
Rex, this needs to concern you .
No, Ahsoka, we need to leave. Now's not the time to try to figure out how reconditioning works.
It feels important.
Rex can't fight and he's still kriffing barefoot and he wants to go. He manages to plant his feet a little, forces his knees not to shake. Ahsoka, later. Please.
...
"This is important, Rex!" She doesn't mean to snap, but the Force is tugging her and she needs to know. Look! and she shoves the feeling at him, the way the Force is now, even though she's not sure he can really understand. She doesn't blame him; she wants to get out of here too but there's no choice, the Force is telling her this you must do, this is important, a compulsion she cannot even begin to fight.
Tuck says, "All due respect, Commander, but it's really kriffing confusing when you two have half your conversation out loud and the other half in your head."
"You get used to it," says Jesse. "Captain, if the Commander thinks this is important, we should probably look into it."
"The Force is insistent," Ahsoka tries to explain. "This is a tipping point."
Rex sighs, and she can't help feeling almost guilty, because he wants to go home and she's not letting him, and kriff she hates this. I love you, Rex, and I want to go home too. This is just-more important right now.
She doesn't know how to explain.
...
Rex grits his teeth and tests his weight on his legs again. Still not ideal. He doesn't know if he'll be able to hold a blaster yet.
Kix seems to know what he's thinking, because he nods. "You probably have another half hour before the rest of that drug is really out of your system," he says. "But you should be okay to walk and maybe shoot some people in a little while, if you're careful.
"Fine, then," he says. "But if this goes south, we're getting on a ship and leaving ."
"Okay," Ahsoka agrees, although he can tell she doesn't want to.
"If we're talking about a chip, like a microchip," Kix says, "We can probably do a bioscan to see if it picks anything up in him - maybe they were implanting an inhibitor chip to block the memories, I don't know. But if we can get to a med lab and actually hold it for long enough, Tuck and I can run a few scans."
Even Rex knows, unfortunately, that medical scans take longer than is ideal, and they don't have time for this . Still, he can tell that Ahsoka thinks this is vital , and she may be right.
"Fine, let's go."
The facility is on high alert and they're going to have to fight for every inch they gain, but they're doing this anyway. He clenches his fists, tries to lean on Ahsoka and Kix as little as possible as they start down the hall. For a little while at least, they don't meet much resistance; there aren't normally a lot of troopers patrolling medical levels and causing a battle here would be ideal for no one.
It's when they get closer to the experimental labs, the gene labs, the more vital operating and medical equipment rooms, that things start to get messy and more experienced troopers start trying to cut them off. And Rex hates it because he can't do anything and if anything he's in Ahsoka's way.
...
Things are going to get messy.
Ahsoka knows that, accepts it even though she doesn't want to; she hopes, at least, that by making for the operating labs instead of the landing platform their ship is on they'll buy a little more time. The Kaminoans won't expect them to go deeper into the facility. It's their one advantage.
From a tactical standpoint, this might just be the absolute worst decision she's ever made: they're on unfamiliar ground (well, her men know Kamino, but she doesn't, she's never been here, and she highly doubts any of them spent much time in this particular area), outnumbered-eight of them, one who's drugged and weaponless, against who knows how many thousands of clones, both fully trained troopers and cadets-and surrounded. And they can't-won't-kill vod'e, kill brothers, even though that's yet another point against them, because it's not the clones' fault: they're just following orders.
Rex is following her thought process, projecting a vague sort of agreement; at her last thought, though, she feels him make a connection. He tries to shield it from her, but with the drug still interfering with his ability to focus he can't quite manage it, and she hears it plain as day: good soldiers follow orders.
"Good soldiers follow orders?" Ahsoka repeats, quizzical, and every single one of her men turns to her all at once, the same intent expression on their faces. (They've never looked more like clones before.)
"How do you know about that, Commander?" Tup asks, and there's an almost sharp edge to his voice she's never heard before. She flushes dark orange, looks around (she feels trapped, all of a sudden, and she's never felt threatened by her own men before), but every one of them is staringat her.
"I-I was thinking we can't kill the vod'e, it's not their fault because they're just following orders, and I just-I picked it up from Rex. I don't-what does it mean?" They won't stop staring and Jesse takes an almost threatening step forward and she shrinks back instinctively. "You're scaring me,"slips out before she can bite it back, and she sounds small and panicked even to her own montrals. "I don't-"
"It's the voice in our nightmares," Rex says softly, and she jerks her gaze over to him even though her instincts scream she can't take her eyes off a threat. "Good soldiers follow orders. We all have them."
"Commander," and her eyes snap back to Fives, "that's not the only thing the voice says," and he looks shaky and so, so afraid all of a sudden and she doesn't know what to do.
So she asks the question. "What else?" and it's just a whisper. The Force hovers on the edge of a precipice, tension freezing the great river of power to a near-standstill, a current of potential energy vibrating with power; everything is oddly silent and she can hear her heart pounding in her chest, can feel the blood rushing through her veins, knows she's holding her breath but it's beyond her ability to make her lungs inflate. It's the feeling of that nanosecond-stretched-into-eternity in between the ground dropping out from under your feet and the fall: she's stepped over the edge of a cliff and is hanging suspended in midair, waiting for gravity-for the inevitable slow pull of Fate-to kick in.
It's Kix who breaks the almost liquid silence, steps forward with anguish in his eyes (and she knows this must be bad, and she feels herself start to fall). "Kill the Jedi."
The Force shatters.
(In the Council chambers, in the middle of a meeting on what to do with Knight Skywalker, Master Mace Windu feels the shatterpoint hit and he screams, drowns under a deluge of the Force, of wild, raw energy like a lightning strike, pure Light and Dark and Grey all together, burning away the haze of notice-me-not clouding his sight, purifying the Force and revealing in a split second, in the space between heartbeats, the greatest shatterpoint of all, the one he's been trying and failing to see since his gift deserted him.)
(Chancellor Palpatine, sometimes known as Darth Sidious, is in the middle of threatening an underling via holocomm when the web he has spent over twenty years building, grain by tiny grain of sand, snaps, and he has just enough time to panic at the loss of his carefully constructed shielding before the backlash hits and knocks him out cold.)
...
In the moments before Kix speaks, Rex almost hopes he won't - his vod'e don't talk about these things, barely think about them. If no one says anything, if they let this pass, then it might mean the dreams aren't real, the nightmares aren't so pervasive. This is their secret, something dangerous, something that feels like it could destroy them, and if Ahsoka knows, if the Jedi know, what will they do? But he feels her fear and there's a strange tension in her thoughts, and he shields himself a little.
Kix meets his eyes and he knows his vod wants to know if he should explain. If they should do this, risk this, and Rex almost shakes his head. The nightmares are better left silent.
But it feels important , he senses Ahsoka thinks it's necessary , so he looks down, nods with only a tilt of his head. Let this be the right decision, please.
Kix tightens his grip around Rex, steps towards Ahsoka, and Rex's heart pounds in his ears. He knows what Kix is going to say, they all know, they've heard it so many times.
How many nights has he woken up with his Jedi in his arms and those words circling vicious in his head, making him feel dangerous, unsure of himself? He's hyper-aware of Kix's every expression, of Ahsoka's feelings, of something heavy beyond her thoughts. His squad is frozen, watching, waiting for Kix to say it.
The thing the voice tells them, that they're all afraid one day they may listen to .
"Kill the Jedi."
Something in Ahsoka's mind rips , and that ancient, wild Force that Rex has felt a few times before has a voice, a roar of energy and something pierces his mind, into his bone and marrow, a horrible hard certainty and clarity like glass. He grabs his head, gasps, is vaguely aware of Ahsoka whimpering while her mind screams - something has happened and he doesn't know what, doesn't know what this is. He just tries to weather it, shaking, aware of some vast will and plan and for a moment, he almost thinks he sees almost a tapestry of thought and energy and he can't think .
What have they done?
...
Darkness, heavy and choking, stifling, surrounds her; the Force is as deep and dark as an ocean of inky-black night, as cold and vast and endless as the dead space behind the stars. For a long moment she's trapped, blind and deaf in this great expanse, and then her vision clears- literally,she realizes abruptly, this is a vision.
Ahsoka is floating in a current of pure power; she sees flashes of worlds uncountable pass before her eyes, oceans without shores and waterfalls of lava and the giant forests of Kashyyyk, sees a million species of sentients and animals alike-there is a krayt dragon, a rancor, a loth-cat, a squadron of clones, Togruta and Twi'lek and Wookiee and human and Mon Calamari and Toydarian and Gungan, on and on and on, all the millions of billions of living things in the galaxy bound together by an endless cycle of Life and Death, Peace and War, Heat and Cold, Light (and there's the Jedi Temple) and Dark (a flash of gold-bright eyes and a lightsaber glowing crimson as fresh blood), and between it all there is joy and sorrow and anger and fear and pain and love and laughter, the sound of a trillion kyber crystals singing in perfect harmony, ancient and powerful and beautiful: a balance.
Now you see the Force as it is meant to be, a voice as old as the stars and as inevitable as gravity murmurs, carrying with it a sense of vivid blue eyes and a world where the very essences of Life and Death are contained, in the center of it the wise and venerable old man who could divine a person's soul with a single glance.
The Father? Ahsoka asks, though there's no concrete mind to project towards.
That is how you would know me, child. The Father was merely an… extension of what you see now, a facet of that which you [see-feel-know] here, able to comprehend the mechanics of language, the primitive ways sentients communicate. Nothing really changes, but suddenly there is new knowledge in her head: the Son the facet of Dark, the Daughter the facet of Light, the Father the balance in between.
[an energy field. it surrounds us, penetrates us, binds us together-]
[you speak of the prophecy of the chosen one who will bring balance to the force]
[the dark side clouds everything]
Now [watch-understand-know], child.
Something shifts, changes; Ahsoka can't quite pinpoint it at first, but finally she begins to see-the Cycle is being twisted, tiny wisps of the Force pulled out of balance into a new shape, a pattern of Darkness, more and more strands moving as even as she realizes. Know the truth, the Father says, and she reaches out, follows a strand back and back and back across hundreds of parsecs, twisting from planet to planet and through stardust and black holes and a brilliant, crackling nebula glowing with color, until a familiar planet comes into view, growing larger and larger until it fills her whole vision: Coruscant.
Thousands of strands, little cords of Force perverted and tied down against its will, all converge on the planet, and in the spaces between the threads a swirling haze shifts and spins and hides, like smoke, like a sandstorm, a silken-soft voice murmuring this is nothing, this is not here, i am nothing, i am no one, i am what you see at first sight, all velvet and kindness and wisdom; but Ahsoka is one with the Force and the Father's clear sight is in her mind's eye and the velvet is rough and torn and scratched like sandpaper, the kindness is condescension, the wisdom is half-truths and broken promises tailor-made to every mind.
Look deeper, the Father urges, and she slips through the gap between two threads and plunges into Coruscant's atmosphere.
Here everything is darker, oppressive and suffocating, and her mind feels coated in oil, thick and slick and black, clinging to every sharp edge and broken piece of her self , oozing through the cracks of her heart and poisoning it; but Ahsoka has the Son's angry strength in her very blood and she burns like fire at the intrusion, the heat of her anger burning the oil away, purifying her heart. She follows the taint, the stench of rot and decay and filth back towards the source-passes by the Temple, veiled beneath a cloud of absolute blackness nearly eclipsing the Light within-and, powered by the Father's clear sight and the Son's powerful anger, approaches the very heart of the web… deep within the Senate building.
Closer, the Force urges her, and she listens, allows the current to take her through corridors and rooms clouded with distrust and rumor [the jedi are plotting to take over the republic], up a few flights of stairs, drifting from strand to strand, weaving in and out of the Darkness in an effort not to brush against the threads. Closer.
She ends just outside the Chancellor's office, filled with seething pain and rage and cruelty, and she moves to enter, but wait the Father breathes and she does, watch, and her mind's eye feels the shatterpoint, feels the three words whispered into air fraught with tension and terror and potential, hears the rippling, cracking, shattering sound as a wave of power echoes down the web like a tuning fork rapped against a piece of durasteel. [kill the jedi kill the jedi kill the jedi kill the time has come execute order sixty-six]
The web snaps in a wave of heavy inevitability like Fate itself, fragments into a billion tiny pieces of hatred, sharp-edged and thirsting for blood,humming rage at being bound, being tied, being controlled, so against its-their-wildly feral nature. [does not belong to you are not master not worthy of the title you will die for your presumption]
Ahsoka steps into the room.
There is darkness, hatred, cruel malice, and terror and shock and disbelief and pain and at the very center, the core of the maelstrom of the Dark Side of the Force finally freed from the bondage it despises, there is a man. Nothing more, nothing less-yes, Sith, yes, liar, yes, murderer, but a man all the same-and yet the very deepest dregs of her soul hates him. Sidious-Palpatine screams and screams and screams, begs for help, being slowly torn apart by the power he'd tamed that was never meant to wear chains, and the anger within her smiles.
[see-know-understand] the consequences of becoming unbalanced, of reaching too deep into one or the other, the Father says. He deserves this, does he not? For all the horror and trauma he has inflicted upon you, upon your Order.
Yes, says the clarity and logic of her mind.
Yes, says the raging inferno of her heart.
But she has the Daughter's warm compassion and love as a wellspring within her soul, the Light counteracting the Darkness of her hatred, [life and death, light and dark, anger and love, compassion and cruelty], and the softness of her soul says no.
Darth Sidious has done terrible things, the Father warns, and yes. He has. But-
No one deserves this, she says, and wrapped in understanding like a cloak, like armor and shield all in one, she steps into the storm.
She has never felt such pain in her life-her very self is being torn into shreds from the inside out, agonizingly slowly, the Darkness exulting in its freedom, and she screams (it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts) and screams and hurls the words out into the vastness of space, into the very fabric of the universe:
I forgive you!
The Darkness wails, tears deeper into her; Sidious rejects her, snarls out a confused foolish child, you'll get yourself killed; Ahsoka ignores them all.
I forgive you, I know you, I love you, Darth Sidious. For what you have done to the Force, I forgive you. For what you have encouraged the Jedi to become, I forgive you. For what you have set upon the galaxy, I forgive you. For what have made the clone troopers, I forgive you. For what you have tried to do to Rex, I forgive you!
The Darkness screams.
And Ahsoka Tano, child of the Force, wakes up.
...
Ahsoka's mind is a whirlwind , and the Force is sweeping through her thoughts and bleeding into his, and Rex can barely breathe (something tells him this power will destroy him, because he is not made to feel this) and he retreats into a corner of his mind, curls up small and blocks out as much of it as he can, knows he's hyperventilating. What is this?
Some distant part of him is aware of his men dragging him and Ahsoka somewhere, of their panic, but all his energy is focused inward, on keeping himself hidden , on not looking at the molten passion and purpose and intent that flows through his every thought. He thinks Ahsoka is at the center of that power but can't reach towards her - he can tell the Force will kill him, will rip him to pieces with its sheer being .
Even hiding from it he can feel the workings of it, a rhythm and pulse of life like breath, like a heartbeat, like the tides of war and the strains of a song. This is a thing with a will and a pattern, something that is both death and life, something that makes up the fabric of the world and the shape of its movement. It shows him how he was born and created along with millions and how he will also die with millions, and it's a thought he's had but now he understands something about it, something vast. This is what happens to all things . His head burns and cold and fire are rushing over his thoughts and a moment stretches on for ages.
Suddenly, in the cold, he feels Ahsoka in pain , like nothing he's ever felt, like she's coming apart at the seams, and he thinks she must have lookedat this Force and been lost, and he can't help it - he reaches for her.
It's like stepping out into a hurricane on Kamino, wind and icy water and waves crashing over him, sending him to his knees, desperate to hide again. She's screaming and there's an anger and a wild violence tearing at the edges of his thoughts and hers, and it chills him to the core and he can't think or breathe or speak or move under an onslaught of pain and anger and something dark and vast like an ocean stirred into a storm, crashing and eroding away at him and dragging him under to drown him.
He's lost and someone is screaming. Everything he is is scattered, pulled apart by power so out of his reach he can't even consider it. For a moment everything is just straining, pain, madness, retreat.
And then Rex is flooded with warmth . It's sunlight and fire and the love that had saved him after Kadavo, Ahsoka's smile and safety and he clings to it, makes it an anchor in the cold. It's her acceptance, the color of her eyes and the wild freedom of her dancing. It's deep and passionate and he is undone , laid bare, and it scorches over his scars, cleans them, heals them, renews everything it touches. It's light and fire and forgiveness and something too wild to be contained, too free to be understood, and he's clinging to it but even this is dangerous, even this could unmake him. But in this chaos, he finds he can breathe, can cling to its power and drag himself back to safety, away from the Force and the ancient will of it, away from the deepness and fire and ice and storm and vastness .
It feels like ages (but it's not) before all that power begins to recede, flowing back out of his mind, leaving him hollow and washed out but intact. He's hesitant to let his awareness return, afraid of that scouring wind and ceaseless energy. His head is pounding, and he groans, finds his mouth is dry. He opens his eyes and Kix grabs his shoulders, is staring at him with panic in his eyes. "Captain, what the hell! " Rex pushes his hands away and Kix holds up a hand. "Yes, I know, Ahsoka. She's- I don't know , sir."
Rex pushes Kix out of the way (and he's swaying when he stands, he's going to fall) and stumbles over to Ahsoka on his useless muscles, shoves Tuck out of the way and drops to his knees, cups his hands around her face. She's just not here , he can tell, and he reaches for her, wants her back.
For a moment, there's nothing, and no response. Then suddenly her mind is back, and close, and hers , and her eyes fly open.
Blue, and her. He loves that blue. " Oya, my Jedi," he breathes, heart beating painfully hard.
...
At first, her eyes won't focus; she's panting and her heart is pounding and the physical world feels wrong, small and limited, and there's someone touching her-
My Jedi, the person says, and she relaxes immediately. It's Rex. She lets her eyes fall closed again, groans softly, knowing he's got to be terrified(and she remembers the rest of the troopers and winces internally) but unable to find the energy to keep her eyes open. Not yet.
"Kriff," she mumbles finally, exhausted from channeling so much sheer Force. "Now I know why we had to stay."
"Commander, what the kriff," Kix snarls out, panicky, and hands-probably his-are on her arm, finding her pulse. "What the kriff did you do? Your heart is-"
"I know," she says, breathes carefully in and opens her eyes again. This time, she's prepared for the way the world spins, though she swears at what that means. "Overextended," she manages to get out, knowing he'll know what that means.
"You didn't even do anything! How did you overextend yourself?" She can tell he's been terrified by the sharpness of his voice.
"Mortis," she breathes, tries to make eye contact with Rex only for the tiny motion to send stabbing pain through her head. "Ow, shavit." That hurts.She closes her eyes again, lifts one hand weakly to her forehead. "That was-a shatterpoint, big one. I don't usually feel them." She doesn't have that gift, unlike Master Windu.
"What the kriff is a shatterpoint?" Fives asks, gruff and trying to hide the way his voice shakes.
Ahsoka lets out a heavy sigh. "It's… kind of a tipping point in time, an event or a person with heavy significance. I guess this was a really important one-has something to do with the nightmares, with killing the Jedi."
"Is that why you collapsed, sir?" Dogma asks, quiet and tentative, almost like he's afraid to say anything.
"Not totally," she says, wondering how exactly to explain it. "It triggered-something. Mortis, Rex, it was-them."
"All of them?" Rex asks, and he sounds almost horrified, and also like he's feeling a shadow of the pain and exhaustion she is; she opens her eyes again, frowns at him.
"The Father. Mostly. Rex, you didn't," and she isn't sure but there's only one thing she can think of that would have him feeling that-and the sheepishness on his face confirms her fear. "Rex! That could've killed you, damn it, your mind can't handle the Force like that!" Shouting hurts. A lot. "Kriffing hell, are there any painkillers anywhere?" She'll be useless if she can't get this headache kicked.
Kix fumbles with the emergency med kit on his belt. "I have some, but if you've already overextended yourself you need to be careful," he warns. "Just because the pills mask the headache doesn't mean you aren't hurting."
"I know, I'm not a youngling," she grumbles, extending her hand for the pills and dry-swallowing them gratefully. "How much of what just happened did you catch?"
Rex shakes his head, winces a little. "You were screaming," he says quietly. "And there was-darkness, I don't know, it was ripping you apart."
The painkillers finally start to take effect, and Ahsoka cautiously sits up, keeping her eyes on Rex so she doesn't have to see the way Kix is scowling at her. "The Sith Master we've been looking for is Chancellor Palpatine," she says, subdued. (Someone has to tell the Jedi-but the shield hiding him is gone now, so maybe they already know.) "I-I think I saved his life."
...
Only Ahsoka's obvious pain and exhaustion (and the warm feeling that still pervades her surface thoughts) keeps Rex from saying kriffing why?Why would she save the life of a Sith Lord?
Fives has no such reservations. "Chancellor Palpatine?" he snarls, and it's loud enough that Rex winces. His head hurts too much for this. "What do you mean Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord?"
"Quiet down , Fives," Kix growls.
Fives obliges, a little. "And how could you have saved his life , he's on Coruscant and we're here - and he's the one who ordered them to recondition Rex."
The rest of the men seem to wonder the same thing, and Rex spares worry for them - they all look exhausted and scared and he wants to be able to promise them it's okay but he doesn't know that anymore than they do. All he knows is that it had hurt and she's saying something about the Father, the Son, and the Daughter being there and shatterpoints and the Chancellor being a Sith - and none of that sounds good .
"I don't know, Fives," Ahsoka says wearily, and Rex feels her exhaustion beginning to shift into confusion, anxiety. "I just… I had to."
Rex doesn't understand what's happening, at all, but he does know his Jedi, knows everything is catching up to her because there's fear and doubt running in the back of her mind now. He holds up a hand to Fives, as firmly as he can. "Can you explain more, Soka?" he asks, gently.
"Now is hardly the time!" Tuck protests. "Sir, we're barricaded in here and we need to do that bioscan still and-"
"Tuck," Kix snaps. "We all know. Now shut up."
Rex almost laughs except poor Tuck looks cowed and frightened. "Kix," he says, a soft reprimand. The medic sighs, and Rex turns back to Soka.
...
Why, Fives asks, and Ahsoka feels the calm certainty of the Daughter leave her. Why? Why had she saved the life of a Sith? Not to mention that Palpatine, Sidious, whoever he is, is who ordered Rex to be taken from them. "It-was the right thing to do?" That shouldn't be a question, shouldn't be hesitant. "No one deserves to die like that," she adds, more quietly.
"If he's a Sith, he's too dangerous to leave alive," Fives snaps, and she can't keep herself from flinching a little at the hostility in his voice. "And I still don't get how you could save him when he's on Coruscant!"
"What happened, 'Soka?" Rex asks again, soft, projecting soothing calm at her. "From the beginning."
From the beginning. She can do that. "I-it was a vision, I thought, but more than that," she starts, fumbling with her words a little because she doesn't really know what to say. "I saw the Force in balance, the Father showed me, and then he showed me-there was darkness, a web or something, the Chancellor had forced the Force into the pattern he wanted instead of balance." Her words are stumbling, halting, uncertain. "I don't… I followed it, the Force-the Father-oh, shavit."
None of this is making sense and her head hurts and she's tired and what if she should've let him die? She doesn't really know anymore. "I'm sorry, I don't… it's confusing."
"Clearly," Tuck grumbles, but Kix sends him a look and he shuts up.
"That's fine," Rex says, "Keep going."
She takes a deep breath. "I followed the darkness back to Coruscant, to the Chancellor, and then there was-I felt the shatterpoint, felt it come too soon, and there were voices-I heard Kix say kill the Jedi, and somebody else said the time has come, execute order sixty-six-"
Everyone freezes.
She's looking at Tuck, because he's upset and she wants him to understand, and so she sees his face just go blank, like all the personality has just been wiped away from him, as though Tuck is just washed away like paint in the rain, and he's gone. In his place is just- nothing, just an empty shell, and he says, monotone, "Good soldiers follow orders."
"Tuck?" Ahsoka stares, wide-eyed, looks over at Kix, at Fives and Jesse and Tup, sees them all the same way; Dogma over by the door is too, and Rex- he's clinging to her, fighting something, 'Soka help me please, and she doesn't know what to do so she just grabs onto his mind and sends love and tries to hide her terror and confusion as blasters come up. "Stand down, please, I don't understand! Rex!"
...
Good soldiers follow orders . CT-7567 shakes his head, feels her in his mind, and there's love and terror and it grounds him enough that he can panic because he doesn't think this is right, he doesn't feel right .
Kill the Jedi . His fists are clenched and he has to attack her, has to find a blaster and do his job, follow his orders.
Part of his mind is shouting, raging , and he doesn't know what's happening but- Ahsoka, your kriffing sabers!
His men fire and the Jedi just manages to ignite her lightsabers, deflect the bolts.
Rex, what's happening? Please, what are you doing? She's pressing against his thoughts, breaking down his shields and CT-7567 recoils, holds out his hand for ARC-5555 to give him a blaster because he's unarmed and he has to kill-
Rex!
The blaster the ARC trooper gives him is heavy and, and he can't think . He raises the weapon but it feels too hard and his men fire again, and Ahsoka deflects the bolts, backs away.
It's not right, this isn't right, what's happening?
Rex, focus, listen to me, please! He feels her panic and it's cold, heavy and she's in his mind and he shakes his head, tries to do what he has to but there's something else now, burning hot and dangerous, and he looks around at his men again. Good soldiers follow orders .
The heat solidifies into something defiant, and part of him is shouting, roaring, and before he quite knows how or why, Captain Rex reaches for Ahsoka's mind. No .
Ahsoka wraps him in love, fast, clings onto his mind and he feels her pushing back the creeping voice that won't be quiet . It's instinct to flip the setting of his blaster to stun, to turn and fire at Tuck before his men figure out what he's doing. The anger burns fierce and protective, clears out the fog, the confusion, and he's still struggling but he will not hurt his Jedi, and he's had this nightmare but he isn't sleeping, he's kriffing awakeand he's not going to let anything happen to her. His men turn their blasters on him and he takes two fast strides to Ahsoka, where her sabers can protect him too.
Kill the Jedi .
He kriffing won't . Not her, not his Soka, and he shoots at ARC-5555 - no, Fives - but the trooper dives out of his way. They're still surrounded and outnumbered and his men are shooting to kill and Rex has to remind himself he cannot kill them or Ahsoka.
...
CT-6116 is… confused.
His Captain, CT-7567, is a good soldier, a good trooper; that's how he's made it to Captain, after all. So why isn't '67 listening?
Good soldiers follow orders. Kill the Jedi.
He raises his blaster, aims at the traitorous Jedi first-her lightsabers (the blades are silver, and that seems wrong, they should be green and yellow) are protecting both herself and the Captain, who is, '16 supposes, not such a good soldier after all. Well, once the Jedi is dead, they'll deal with '67. ARC-5555 will probably take over command, then, as the most senior of them.
Something in him thinks that would be a terrible idea. Fives is too outspoken and reckless to be a Captain.
Fives?
ARC-5555.
'16 fires again, and the Jedi barely deflects the bolt; she's shaking and exhausted and in pain. Overextension, possibly Force burn. He shakes his head-it doesn't matter. If she's injured it'll make it easier. She can't hold them off forever.
She's not even trying to fight.
She shouldn't even have her lightsabers out, kriffing impossible-
Enough! '16 shakes his head again, focuses. Good soldiers follow orders, and he's a good soldier. Kill the Jedi.
(He's not a soldier, he doesn't want to fight, he wants to save, he wants to heal.)
Good soldiers follow orders.
This is wrong.
He's not quite sure why he thinks that, all of a sudden, but he does, and something is screaming in terror, I don't understand, please, it's me, it's Ahsoka, it's your Commander, your Jedi, why don't you recognize me?
She's so scared.
He-he doesn't care, he shouldn't care, he is CT-6116 and he is a good soldier and good soldiers follow orders and his orders are kill the Jedi but she's scared and she's hurt and he-
He's not a soldier. Not a killer.
He heals.
He is-he is Kix of the 501st, not CT-6116, not someone who would murder his Commander in cold blood, she is vod'e now, and he does not kill his brothers. (She's so scared and he doesn't know how he knows that but he clings to it like a drowning man.)
Kix flips the switch on his blaster to stun, shoots CT-5835-no, Tup, he shoots Tup in the back, and Jesse-CT-5597-Jesse turns, says "Ni'duraa, aruetii!"
Traitor.
"I'm not the traitor here," he snarls out (part of him is screaming because this is his best friend, his closest friend, saying you disgust me and he wants to cry), clutches his blaster in his palms and tries not to shoot at the Jedi-at Ahsoka again. She's scared. He can feel that, feel her fear. He's scared too. Kill the Jedi. He doesn't know what to do, so he ducks under a shot from Dogma, trips over Tuck on the floor (good soldiers follow orders), stumbles up to the Jedi. "Jetii," but no that's the wrong language, "Jedi-Commander Tano," that's right, "I'm scared too." It feels wrong to admit it.
She just stares. "How-how do you know?"
"You're screaming," he says, because she is. And he has to- kill the- no! "I can't-" and he squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth because he can't do this and the voice won't stop. "Haar'chak!" Basic won't come anymore. "Nayc, nayc, nayc." He can't. He won't.
"Kix, this is wrong, do you feel that?" she asks, and he grabs onto the thin thread of sanity, of safety, that her voice promises.
"Elek, yes," he manages. He does. It's all wrong and the voice won't stop and he can't get free and he won't kill her! "Please, Commander, help, gedet'ye, I don't want to-"
"Breathe, Kix," she soothes him. "Focus on the voice, build a wall between the voice and yourself. Can you do that for me?" He doesn't know how she manages to sound so calm while deflecting blaster bolts and also almost falling over.
A wall? He doesn't totally understand, but he does his best, imagines he's wrapping his mind in his beskar'gam, his armor, armor, kill the Jedi, and he pushes the voice out (good soldiers follow orders) because that's not him and it doesn't belong in his mind. Walls break easily (kill the Jedi),armor is better, armor gives more protection than a plain old wall, and he has to focus because his Commander ordered him to. Good soldiers-
"I am not a soldier!" he rages, hurls the words defiantly into the air, into the faces of his vod'e, and he slams the voice out!
And Kix can suddenly breathe.
...
CT-5129 is a good soldier, the best.
That's what they told him, in training, that he was a model soldier, the ideal trooper.
He's proud of that.
Good soldiers follow orders .
The Captain has never been good enough - he always disobeys, always breaks protocol, and CT-5129 isn't surprised to find this is no different.
Kill the Jedi . He fires on her repeatedly, and she deflects everything. Not good enough, he has to do better than this.
Her lightsabers make him feel… off. Something at the back of his mind nags for his attention but he cannot be distracted. He has his orders and that's the important thing right now, to complete the mission. ARC-5555 gives him a hand signal and they all draw back, shift so they can cover CT-6116 along with the Captain. They're not good soldiers , they always do this, always disregard orders and rules - but he doesn't.
I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma .
He has his orders, he- He shakes his head, forces himself to focus, keep his aim steady, and he tries to hit CT-7567 but the Jedi blocks him.
He's a good soldier and he can tell she's losing energy.
"Dogma," and the Captain is talking, sharp and forceful and he is a ranking officer but he's also aruetii , not one of them anymore. "Dogma, stand down . You know you can't do this."
Something about the Captain's expression reminds him- he thinks- but no, that doesn't matter. He has his orders.
He shifts his blaster just a little, fires at CT-6116, and the Jedi tries to move but like he'd seen, she's tired and slow and his shot hits the other trooper's leg and CT-6116 stumbles.
CT-5129 has a perfect line on '16's chest. He levels his blaster, finger tightening on the trigger-
I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma .
The kriff , why does he keep thinking that?
He tries again (he's almost lost his opening), because '16 is defective and he- he-
The sabers . He doesn't know why that's important but he's frozen and the Jedi cuts off his shot at CT-6116, twirling her sabers, and he remembers good soldiers standing in front of a wall littered with blaster shots.
You ensured the death of your brothers with your obedience.
But he has to, he has orders … But his instincts are screaming, now, and the faint nagging pressure at the back of his mind has increased because, because, because- he doesn't know why .
ARC-5555 looks at him, barks, "Stay focused , '29."
That… that doesn't feel right.
I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma.
He's a good soldier , the best, and good soldiers follow orders .
But CT-6116 is lying on the ground and there's a hole in his leg that CT-5129 put there and that's not right because.
Because he promised .
Never again, I'm never letting anyone use me to hurt my vod'e again .
Good soldiers follow orders. He's a good soldier. He does what he's told, he trusts the system, this is what he-
No.
Because CT-6116 - Kix - is his vod and he promised. Not again . He trusts his vod'e and he trusts the Captain - he disobeyed orders he made everyone else follow him he - and Rex is right, he can't do this. Because he promised. Because orders aren't important .
Good soldiers follow orders .
But Dogma isn't a good soldier. He's a vod . He slips his finger against the switch on his gun, sets it to stun, and turns on Jesse - but the trooper dives out of the way and Dogma rushes to join his brothers before Fives can shoot him.
So he can stand with Captain Rex and Kix and Commander Tano where he belongs .
...
Ahsoka can barely breathe, exhausted and shaking and her head is agony and she-she-Rex sends her a wave of strength and she clutches it close, drags in a desperate gasp and blocks another round of blasterfire. She's so tired and there's sweat dripping into her eyes and she has to stay focused because if she misses another shot that could be fatal.
"Kix," she manages to gasp out, "I'm sorry-"
"Save your breath, Commander," the medic says, sounding far more like his old self now that he's shielded from whatever's taken over her men. "I'm alright." He's lying; his voice is taut with pain.
(And that's a surprising thing, that he could feel her fear-she knows she's projecting, because her shields are slipping and she's so tired, but she didn't think it'd be possible for any of the clones to be sensitives. A part of her wonders how she never saw it before.)
"Fives, Jesse, stand down," she snaps, blocks another shot (and the bolt deflects back dangerously close to Fives' head and she can't kill them)."That's an order, troopers."
"Your orders carry no weight, Jedi," Fives spits back, fires again-she barely manages to deflect the bolts.
Kix is still on the floor and there's too many and she can't protect them all, she can't, not against her best men (she'd brought the best of them on purpose). But she won't lose them, and-
Jesse aims at Dogma, fires, and Ahsoka lunges through the air to catch the bolts in time, but she loses her footing in the process and slams to the floor, the impact knocking the breath from her lungs, and she can't breathe, she can't move, she's failing them, Jesse raises his blaster to fire and-
And falls.
"Kriff you, Jesse," Kix says very very quietly, and Ahsoka turns her head enough to see the medic holding his blaster steady, still aimed where Jesse was standing. (A part of her remembers the two of them are usually inseparable.)
"Commander," and it's Dogma, "are you alright?"
No. But she has to be. Fives is frozen, for just a moment, probably surprised by Jesse's being stunned, but the moment doesn't last long and his blaster aims again and she can't get up and instinct takes over and she throws out one hand, flings him across the room, knocking the blaster from his hand. 'Soka, Rex says, and he's terrified and she absently sends him reassurance, struggles to push herself off the floor.
"I'm sorry, Fives," she whispers.
Kix knows what's about to happen before it does.
(Hey, you're CT-6116, right? They call you Kix?
'16 hates that name, honestly. He wishes his vod'e would stop calling him that. It doesn't even mean anything. But he sighs, answers in the affirmative. Yeah, I guess. I'm '16, I mean. I guess I'm Kix now too. Why?
He doesn't know the vod approaching him. Doesn't want to know him, probably. Ever since '16 made the mistake of telling his squad he wants to be a doctor, not a soldier, he's been, well… he's not defective, and the longnecks won't recondition him just because he doesn't want to fight (the battalions need field medics, after all), but his brothers have never looked at him the same. I'm Jesse, the unfamiliar vod says, and grins. Is there something wrong with Kix?
'16 shrugs. They gave it to me. He doubts the other will understand.
But Jesse sobers abruptly. Well, for what it's worth, '16, I think it's cool you want to be a doctor. I'll go out and blow the clankers to pieces and you can patch me back up again after, how does that sound? I'll even shoot a few extra for you. And he winks.
'16 doesn't quite know what to say or do. You don't think I'm hut'uun? (That seems to be the other troopers' favorite pastime these days, calling him a coward to try and get him to fight.)
Nah, Jesse says easily, trust me, vod, sticking a needle in somebody else's flesh is way more terrifying than shooting clankers. Like, what if you did it wrong and killed them? Or poisoned them, or, I dunno, stabbed yourself instead?
Why the kriff would I stab myself? '16 rolls his eyes. That would just be stupid.
Jesse shrugs. I don't know, man, but trust me. I probably could manage it. Or I'd just drop it. I hate needles. They're kriffing terrifying!
It's a needle, not a clanker, it can't shoot you.
That's the point!)
Jesse brings his blaster up and fires at Dogma, and Commander Tano has to launch herself off the ground to deflect the bolts. Had she not been so exhausted, she would've easily landed back on her feet, but she's shaking from exertion and Kix is going to murder her later for overextending herself-and he almost sobs because he nearly had murdered her, not in jest, but for real, and, and, and he needs to breathe. Because he knows what Jesse is doing, knows Jesse's noticed the Commander's state, how she won't be able to last much longer, and she falls like Jesse and Kix both knew she would and she doesn't get up.
And, for a moment, both Fives and Jesse have a clear line of sight to both Rex and Dogma.
They seem to have forgotten Kix, half-laying on the floor, propped up against the wall, his left hand pressing into the hole in his leg trying to stem the bleeding, the blaster he's never wanted to use next to his right hand.
He doesn't have the angle for Fives, but-
But Jesse is right here and it'd be so simple to just-simple, ha, as though anything about this is simple.
Fives aims his blaster at Rex and Kix goes for his blaster but he can't move fast or they'll see and he's not going to stop Fives in time and-and-something white-hot and powerful roars up in him, in response to his desperation, and he stretches his left hand out and pushes and-and the blaster-
Fives' blaster jolts to one side, and the shot is way off the mark.
(A little voice inside Kix is babbling incoherently and screaming and crying because he can't do this he's not-he's a clone, he's just a clone, he can't be this or he'll be terminated, because it's not allowed, he's hid it for so long and never ever ever let it out but now they'll know.)
And before Jesse can look away from Dogma, before he can change his aim, Kix pulls his blaster off the floor and fires. He fires on his best friend, on the one vod who had encouraged his dream, the one who hadn't called him a coward, and he hates himself for it.
...
Rex wants his armor, desperately, wants his own two blaster pistols, wants this kriffing voice to get out of his head , please, he still feels like he's struggling to stay focused. Fives struggles to get up and Rex shoots at him but his friend jerks to the side, fires back and Rex doesn't have armor so he has to drop to the ground (and his muscles are protesting and his head is spinning and everything feels off-balance and he can tell Ahsoka is going to collapse, going to run out of energy soon).
Rex raises Fives' blaster and takes aim (and he can't help how he's shaking, because he's tired and too far gone and good soldiers follow orders ), but Fives dives out of the way, behind a lab bench, and he's the only one left and Rex has never seen his friend's eyes so empty and deadly.
And Fives was promoted to ARC trooper for a reason - he's fast and creative and tough , and Ahsoka won't be able to block all his shots for long, not with how tired she is, and Fives knows that, Fives will be able to tell he almost has her and then.
Kill the Jedi .
He has to stop this, has to stop it now, because Kix is on the ground and Dogma is too inexperienced and Ahsoka isn't going to be able to do this for long and so. So it's up to Rex.
He clings onto Ahsoka's thoughts and love, onto the anger that makes his blood rush loud in his ear, and clenches his fist.
Fives will be waiting for someone to make a mistake, for Ahsoka to slip up, and he can afford to wait much longer than they can.
So Rex will give him a mistake.
He projects an order at Ahsoka, hopes she listens, to stay put and to not stop covering Kix and Dogma, and then he darts away from her, where her sabers don't protect him, as if he's trying to get around to where he can shoot Fives behind the table.
Rex, don't!
Fives leaps to his feet and fires in one fluid motion, and Rex twists just enough and the bolt sears into his right shoulder instead of his chest.
And thank the little gods , Dogma shoots Fives past Ahsoka's shoulder as Rex staggers and falls, and it's over . And Kix is going to kill him because his shoulder burns and there's not enough feeling in his arm and he's exhausted but.
But it's stopped and it's silent and even if he can still hear good soldiers follow orders , his Jedi is alive and safe and they didn't kill her. He didn't. He forces himself to push himself off the floor because they have to restrain his men in case they wake up and nothing's changed.
Ahsoka's mind against his is nothing but numb exhaustion and that's the only warning before her legs buckle and she crumples to the floor, her sabers clattering out of her hands. Rex hurries over to her (and he sways and the world tilts and he almost falls) and crouches next to her, tries to pull her into his arms except he's so tired and his right arm doesn't work .
Kix drags himself over and Rex can tell he's in incredible pain, sweat beading on his forehead, jaw clenched. "Are you kriffing kidding me, Captain?" Kix hisses, but there's no real anger there.
Rex hadn't had a better option and they could not let their Jedi die, let their vod'e die.
"Dogma," Rex manages. Dogma's still standing and Rex has just enough energy to be proud of him. "Cuff them, please, and lean them against the wall."
"Yes, sir."
Rex can't stop shaking, and he grabs Kix as the medic lifts Ahsoka's wrist to take her pulse again. "Your leg."
"I know, I'll deal with it," he says. "I have to make sure she's going to be okay." And that's fair because Ahsoka looks pale and she's shaking and when he brushes against her mind she's just numb .
...
Ahsoka is tired.
She's tired.
Part of her is terrified because her 'sabers aren't within reach and she needs them but she can't lift her arms to grab them and when she tries to reach for the Force she's hit with pain. She tries to swear, but it comes out as a faint whimper, and she can feel Rex's anxiety spike. Hurts, she tells him, more in emotions than words. Force burn, she needs to tell Kix that, he knows how to treat it (rest, which she can't take the time for right now). I need a stim shot.
She's going to have to fight again and she needs to at least be able to deflect blaster bolts, which means she needs a stim, because she can't even stand up right now, and…
And thinking is more energy than she has right now.
It takes every ounce of willpower she possesses to move her arm, the arm with the blaster wound she'd taken for Dogma, but she manages, reaches out to Rex almost desperately. Rex…
I'm here, 'Soka, and his hand finds hers, and then he swears. "Kriff, ner'jetii, what happened to your arm?"
Kix swears too, she thinks.
Sending words is too hard, so Ahsoka focuses for long enough to send him the memory, of needing to block a bolt aimed at Kix on the floor and Fives is firing at Dogma and she can't move fast enough so she flings her arm in the way, keeps the bolt from hitting Dogma in the chest.
He feels… something, about that.
She's too tired to understand what.
Kix swears as he jolts his leg trying to see the Commander's arm, white-hot agony shooting up into his spine, and he clenches his teeth on a scream (it hurts it hurts it really kriffing hurts) and keeps scooting over, swallowing the swears he wants to spit out because that's not helpful right now.
Everything hurts, but his sore muscles are a dull background pain compared to the burning fire in his leg. That alone is a sign that it's bad, but he doesn't have time to look at himself right now. He'll be fine. He will. "Kriff, Commander," he growls through gritted teeth, "I thought you said you'd try to be less self-sacrificing."
She doesn't even react, and that starts alarm bells ringing in his head. "Captain, this isn't good."
"Yeah, I know that, Kix," Rex snaps, and then breathes in, out. "Sorry."
"What the kriff even happened?" That's Dogma, and his hands are shaking a bit. "I-I promised I wouldn't kill any more brothers, and-and I almost killed you, Kix!"
"Easy, Dogma," Kix says, tries to sound reassuring. "It wasn't you. It wasn't us."
The words sound hollow even to himself.
Someone moans, and he snaps to high alert without thinking, hisses in pain as he bumps his leg, one hand scrabbling for his blaster- shavit, it's over where he'd been sitting. He's not crawling back over there and back to the Commander again, it hurt too much the first time. "Oh, little gods,"a faint voice whispers, "the Commander, I-I don't-"
It's Tuck, and he sounds like himself again. "It's alright, Tuck." It's not. "I know. She's fine." Mostly.
Kix's assistant peels himself off the floor, looking utterly devastated. "I don't understand," he chokes out, "I didn't want to do it, I didn't, I swear."Kix motions with one hand, and Dogma steps over to the younger clone, starts to undo the binders, but Tuck flinches back. "No, no, don't take them off, what if it happens again-"
"I need you, Tuck," Kix says, tries not to be sharp but it hurts, and stars but he's getting dizzy and he's not even trying to stand yet. "It's not your fault."
"But I-"
"Tuck!" He snaps. "Just let him take the damned binders off and get over here!" And he knows that's uncalled for, but he can't seem to breathe quite right, and another wave of hot agony rolls over him and he swears in strangled Mando'a, presses his hands to his leg again. Shavit, this is not good. Not good at all.
...
They need to get out of here. They don't have time to stay holed up in this room, they need to get to a lab and run a bioscan and get out , but Tup and Jesse and Fives are still out cold, and they can't move until they wake up, because Ahsoka can't walk, Kix barely can, and he and Dogma and Tuck can't carry three troopers and Ahsoka by themselves and still fight.
"Kix, you and Tuck have until Jesse's up and able to move to patch yourselves and Ahsoka up, then we need to move," he says, knows it's a lot to ask in the face of this but also knowing that he has to make sure they're all safe.
(He doesn't know what's happened and his men are in trouble and he's in trouble and if he gives himself space to be, he'll be terrified, so he chokes down his terror and exhaustion.)
Tuck is wavering, clearly on the edge of total panic, so Rex waves him over. "Tuck, look at Kix's leg, see what you can do about it. Kix, for kriff's sake just focus on Ahsoka."
"I need his help with the Commander," Kix says sharply and Rex shakes his head.
"You need to be able to walk and we don't have time to have you both focused on one person. Tuck, his leg. Now."
Tuck obeys, even though Kix swears in Mando'a, tells him to stop, but Tuck has his orders and this once, Kix doesn't outrank Tuck because now he's injured too.
There's suddenly a sound of a hitched breath and a soft whimper, and Rex turns, meets Tup's bleary eyes. "I don't know what- Captain, I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't, Tup," Rex says, as gently as he can. "We know." He gets up (and his head is splitting ) and goes over, bending down to unlock Tup's cuffs. He ignores Tup's attempt at a protest, tosses the cuffs to one side. "Are you okay?" he asks. "We need to be able to move fast ."
Tup glances at Fives and nods. "Yes, sir. What happened? "
Rex swallows, shakes his head. "I don't know."
He feels Ahsoka suddenly aware and she reaches for him, desperate, and he quickly sends peace, soothing. I'm sorry, I'm right here, Soka. She curls up in his mind, projecting relief and love.
Tuck finishes bandaging Kix's leg and hands him some pain meds - Rex thinks the rookie has gotten a lot better at this lately. Then Tuck comes up to him, gives him a sharp look.
"Sit the kriff down, Captain," he snaps, and Rex obeys, and that really does feel better. Tuck crouches next to him and starts examining his injury, fast, and it hurts really and Rex decides he'd better mention that it's hard for him to move his arm now.
Tuck glances at Kix when Rex explains that, suddenly at a loss, and Kix nods. "Bandage it, put his arm in a sling. We'll have to look at that when we have more time and equipment."
...
Kix is getting really tired of this "let's make Kix deal with the worst injuries in the field with as little equipment as possible" thing, like, really.Kriffing Rex, kriffing Jedi, kriffing himself, because he can't just stay off his leg right now, as much as he'd like to. As much as he wants to set a good example for his Jedi, he doesn't think it'd work; one of them isn't even here right now, thank you, General Skywalker, and the other is… well. Only nominally even aware.
"This is one of the times I really wish I could do that Force healing thing," he mutters under his breath, tying off the bandage around the blaster wound in Rex's shoulder. Tuck's busy working on knotting some bandages into a rough but usable sling, so Kix digs into his medpack and hands over some pain pills. "Here, take these."
Rex dry-swallows the meds gratefully, says, "I bet General Kenobi would be willing to teach you."
Kriff, no. "Are you insane, vod?" Kix asks. "Are you trying to get me kriffing terminated?" Everyone knows that's what happens to Force-sensitive vod'e. He's only survived this long by keeping his head down and never ever using it.
"Kenobi wouldn't let that happen," Tup says, though he's still speaking softly, guiltily. "Wait, how could he teach you Force stuff?"
Kix grimaces, snaps out, "It doesn't matter," at the same time as Rex says, "He's Force-sensitive."
Tuck's eyes go wide. "You are?"
Kriff, kriff, kriff. This day keeps getting better and better. "Does it really matter?"
There's a long pause, and then: "I saw you save the Captain's life," Dogma says quietly, "and mine, too. So I guess not, but-you're my vod. I wouldn't report you." A pause. "None of us would."
Something warm and oddly light blooms in his chest, and Kix swallows, looks away. "Yeah," he finally says. "I am. But I've never used it." He doeshave a survival instinct, and common sense. Unlike most Jedi, it seems. Maybe that's just a prerequisite of the Jedi, being jareor. He probably wouldn't fit in.
...
Jesse doesn't know where he is . He's awake and he opens his eyes and it takes a moment to register Rex pacing up and down in front of him, his own arms cuffed behind his back, Kix on the ground with a bandaged leg, the Commander on the ground too.
When he does remember, though, it hurts and he closes his eyes, shakes his head. What had he done? What's happening to him, to them?
"Jesse." It's Kix, sounding relieved and worn out. His best friend. "Are you okay?"
"No, vod ," he manages, and Dogma walks over and takes off his cuffs, helps him to his feet. He'd called Kix a traitor, told him he was disgusted by him. And he'd let Dogma shoot him and he knows he almost killed Dogma. "I'm- Kriff, Kix, I'm sorry," he snarls.
"It's okay," Kix says, and it's not and Jesse is angry . "I understand, ori'vod. "
Jesse swears and shakes his head. None of this is right or okay . His friend is injured , badly, and Jesse knows he'd rather not ever have to fight but Kix had shot him. (Although maybe Kix has wanted to do that for a while, Jesse doesn't know, he can be insufferable occasionally.)
Rex stops pacing, grabs Jesse's shoulder, and Jesse doesn't quite mean to but he strikes Rex's hand away, steps back. His Captain barely blinks at that.
"You're going to carry Fives, Jesse," he says. "Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Jesse says.
"Good, because we can't wait for him to wake up. We have to leave." Rex points at Dogma, Tuck, and Tup. "Dogma, you can carry two, we're fighting. We need to get to a lab with scanning tech."
Jesse meets Kix's eyes, wants to offer to carry him but his best friend is already pushing himself to his feet. He can't do that, but Kix gives him a look , so fierce Jesse can't argue for once.
He goes to pick up Fives, feels a rush of anger about this, about whatever they did .
Ni'duraa, aruetii!
Kix has never disgusted him (except for when he talks about his work, for kriff's sake), and he isn't a traitor. At least, not anymore than they all are now.
Rex picks up Ahsoka's sabers off the floor, clips one to his pants - but holds the other out to Kix. "You should take this," Rex says, and Jesse gapes despite himself.
He's teased Kix once or twice that he should be a Jedi, that he thinks Kix would be good with a saber, and Kix never finds it funny. Now the Captain is offering Kix a saber and Kix, of course, shakes his head. What surprises Jesse is how determinedly Rex offers, almost like he knows .
...
It's all Kix can do not to flinch away when Rex offers him the Commander's lightsaber; as it is, he shakes his head, steps back a little. "I kriffing can't," he says sharply. "No way."
There's no kriffing way he's touching that thing. He doesn't want to die.
"Look, Kix," Rex says, "we need what you can do."
What he can do? Ha, what a laugh. He can't do anything, not for certain, and he's never done it on purpose before. "And what if I can't, Captain? What then?" He lifts his chin, meets Rex's eyes, challenging.
"Then we'll deal with that. But we need you to at least try."
Kriff. Kix looks over at Jesse, almost instinctively (doesn't flinch away when he meets his gaze, even though he wants to, remembering ni'duraa, aruetii!), because his ori'vod is the only one who he's ever told and Jesse will know what to do. Jesse raises an eyebrow and Kix remembers all the times Jesse had teased him, you'd be good with a 'saber, Kix, you should run away and be a Jedi, though he'd never found it funny. If the longnecks had overheard, it would've meant termination for him, possibly reconditioning for Jesse. The fact that the clones can be Force-sensitive is something the Kaminoans never wanted to get out. Jesse nods, just a little. Yes.
Kix swears on a long exhale, reaches out and swipes the 'saber from Rex's hand, stares at the thing for a long second. I'm not a soldier. Today he has to be, but this time he'll fight for his Jedi, not against her. "I don't like this, Rex."
"I know," his Captain says.
He stares down at the 'saber again (there's something inside it singing, a humming well of power and it calls to him), swallows, finds the button and ignites the blade. Silver. The blade sings in his hands, the hilt vibrating with sheer power, and he almost drops it out of reflex-but that thinginside him, that whispers to him how his patients are feeling and where the pain is, that sixth sense he's learned to rely on almost as much as his eyes and ears and what the scans tell him, it surges in response and he swears, fumbles with the button and extinguishes the blade, finds Rex's eyes in a panic. "I can't."
"Kix," and that's Jesse, "vod, we'll die before we let them take you."
He swallows, shakes his head. "The Commander-"
"Says to tell you yes," Rex says. "We have to move, Kix."
He's shaking. He can't do this.
But he has to.
Kix drops his eyes to the 'saber hilt in his hands, turns it over and over again, grateful that none of his brothers push him. He swallows again, stifles another protest. This is for his Jedi, who nearly killed herself to protect them, again and again and again, and he knows she would give her life in a heartbeat for any of theirs. It'd never be an equal transaction. This is for his brothers, his vod'e, who might just be about to be made into the unwilling executioners of their Jedi Generals, if this pattern holds true. (What triggered it? How?)
He straightens, stiffens his spine into durasteel, shoves his shoulders back, clenches his jaw against the pain in his leg. "Right. Let's go, Captain."
And he slips his finger over the button, bringing the glowing white lightsaber hissing to life in his hands.
This time, he doesn't try to drop it.
Mando'a translations:
vod'e: brothers
cyare: beloved
Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, bal mhi me'dinui an.: We are one when together, we are one when parted, we share all. *Mandalorian marriage vows*
ret'urcye, ner'jetii: Goodbye (lit. maybe we will meet again), my Jedi.
ni kar'tayl gar darasuum: I love you (lit. I keep you in my heart forever.)
oya: a general exclamation, always positive
Ni'duraa, aruetii!: You disgust me, traitor!
jetii: Jedi
Haar'chak: Damn it
nayc: no
elek: yes
gedet'ye: please
beskar'gam: armor
hut'uun: coward
jareor: recklessly risk your life, act suicidally (negative connotation: foolish, not brave)
ori'vod: big brother, older brother, special friend