Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or CinemaSins

*Episode opens with Serpentine Slither Pit.*

HailsStorm: I'm pretty sure we established this last chapter but wasn't Ouroboros destroyed? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: These guys take their Slither Pits very seriously, don't they? +1

*Garmadon arrives*

HailsStorm: First, Garmadon is a dick to the Serpentine +1

HailsStorm: Second, does he seriously have his own personal servant? How pretentious can you get? +1

*Garmadon: The Ninja may have destroyed my Mega Weapon, but I have an ingenious new plan.*

Last episode, Lloyd didn't know about the Mega Weapon when the ninja returned to the present, so I doubt the Serpentine know about it. +1

*Skales: Are we still allowing him to be in charge of us?*

There's no way he didn't hear you. +1

HailsStorm: APPARENTLY YES! +1

*Garmadon: Earlier, when pirates mutinied us and locked us in the brig…*

Previously on Ninjago. +1

*Garmadon: Captain Soto and his crew were searching for a fabled Dark Island.*

Fabled? Does Garmadon not know the story of the Dark Island? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: The Mega Weapon was destroyed in the previous episode. Theoretically, the Serpentine would have no recollection of the pirates +1

Also, the pirates would've never been recreated. Oh god more paradoxes. +1

*Skales: Oh please. You're having us chase after fairy tales now.*

Some people didn't even believe the Serpentine existed. +1

*Garmadon: Once we find it, it's concentrated dark powers will help me, I mean us.*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "Me, I mean us" cliché +1

*Garmadon: I'm looking for a few brave snakes, who'll join me.
All generals except Skales: Aye*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Actually, for I'll do it, it's aye, aye +1

*Serpentine Generals agree to follow Garmadon and leave the city.*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: SKALES STILL GOES WITH HIM! +1

I guess no one else will go then? +1

*Alarm goes off.*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: It's four o'clock. Either the ninja slept in very, VERY late, or the sun is two hours ahead of schedule. +1

*Kai throws rock*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Where did that come from? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: THE ROCK HITS THE CLOCK AND IT DOESN'T BREAK! +1

*Ninja cover ears*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: They don't have ears +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Zane is still asleep! +1

*Lloyd: Is it Wednesday already?*

Ha, ha. That's when new episodes came on. +1

*Sensei Wu: Looks like a two-person job*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Lloyd does everything. +1

*Ninja avoid dragon cleaning.*

Ninjas were in their pajamas in this scene with Lloyd and next time they run away from him, a second after, they're dressed. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Ninja are dicks to Lloyd +1

*Kai: With a round of Rock, Paper, Clamp!*

I get they don't have fingers per say, but they don't have scissors either? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Discount Rock, Paper, Scissors +1

*Lloyd: How does paper beat rock?*

Foreshadowing. +1

*Lloyd: I always have to do the dirty work.*

Lloyd is wearing goggles instead of his mask to cover his nose. +1

*Dragon in the city.*

Wait, when they woke up, they were on the Bounty and Wu told them the dragon made a mess. Now we're in the city with the dragon. Did Wu wake up, travel to the city where the dragon sleeps and checked to see if it made a mess? Or is the Bounty just hovering the city? If that's the case, then where is it in this scene? +1

Also, why is the dragon in the city at all? Just fly away and show up whenever we need you again. +1

*Lloyd: I don't remember my mother. She abandoned me when I was really young.*

"I don't remember my parent/Never had a parent" cliché. +1

Gee, I wonder what this episode is about. Not that cartoon network didn't make it painfully obvious during the previews. +1

*I spent my whole life at Darkley's Boarding School.*

And on your first day, Brad put fire ants in your bed? Weren't you a baby? And he would've been too, right? Is this some 'Little Rugrats' universe where the babies are smarter than the adults. +1

*Sirens in background.
Nya: It's the Ninjago Museum of History*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: The ninja only look up after Nya starts speaking. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Also, Again? +1

*Ninjas arrive at the museum.*

They decided to run instead of taking the Bounty. +1

*Wu: We heard there was an emergency?*

Oh, Wu tagged along, but not Samurai X? They just totally benched Nya this season huh? +1

*Stone Warrior toys alive.*

Discount Gremlins. +1

*Museum Curator: The toxicity in the venom somehow brought our merchandise to life!*

Because reasons. +1

*Ninjas fight off Stone Warrior toys.*

The Stone Warrior toys were brought to life, but these Lion, T-Rex, and Raptor toys weren't because reasons. +1

*Lloyd: Stupid little guys*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: I'm getting flashbacks from when Lloyd was a little kid +1

*Bobbleheads dump marbles on the ground*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "Character slips on something round" cliché +1

*Fight between ninja and toys*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: This fight goes on for too long The Ninja are losing to toys. TOYS! +1

*Ninja use Spinjitzu*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: The miraculously miss all the marbles +1

*Bobblehead escapes*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: The fact that they missed one and the fact that Wu is the only one who noticed +1

*Misako opens a door just as Wu crushes the Stone Warrior.*

Dramatic Timing is Dramatic. +1

*Wu: Yes, this is Misako. Lloyd's mother.
Lloyd: My mother?*

CHEESEPUFF fg: Lloyd mentions never knowing his mother and she's introduced in the SAME EPISODE... that's one of the biggest clichés out there. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "Character walks in on life-changing line" cliché +1

*Lloyd and Misako talking*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Lloyd's scowl is as clear as day and Misako is still smiling +1

*Misako: You're so much bigger than I remember.*

Well you did abandon him as a baby so… +1

*Misako: I didn't want us to meet like this.*

You didn't want to meet him at all! Zing! *cricket noises* …Inappropes. +1

*Garmadon: The Endless Sea? I don't get it.
Skales: Because there is no land outside of Ninjago.*

What? So, on this version of Earth, there's only Ninjago as a land mass and that's it? The rest is water? Sure there's a few islands and later the Dark Island rises, but is that really it? Nothing else? +1

*Skales: He's without his Mega Weapon. He's vunerable.*

There's no way he didn't hear that. +1

*Skales pushes Garmadon out of the Helicopter.*

This works. +1

HailsStorm: IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME +1

*Garmadon lands in the ocean.*

He survives this. +1

*Skaildor: It's about time we had a Serpentine back in charge.*

At the beginning of the episode, Skaildor was following Garmadon like a puppy. +1

*Misako: That sinkhole doesn't have a bottom, son. It's where I found the ancient Stone Warrior.*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: I... Find that a bit unbelievable +1

*Lloyd: Ah, "son"? You've been gone my whole life.*

Lloyd reacts appropriately and doesn't forgive Misako. -1

*Misako: Well, I'm gonna talk anyway. Long before Sensei Wu ever knew who would be the Green Ninja, I knew it would be you.*

And instead of giving your son to his uncle to raise and train, you instead leave him at a boarding school! +1

*Misako: All this time, son, I've been trying to save you and your father.*

And you told no one why? +1

*Misako: Long before time had a name…*

Previously on Ninjago. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: This is becoming cliché +1

*Lloyd: We've heard this story a hundred times.
Misako: But you've only heard half of it.*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: That's my line +1

Oh my god, there's more. +1

*Misako: The blackest of darkness that ever exsisted.*

Rock Music. +1

*Misako: The Overlord.*

Oh. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: This is foreshadowing BIG TIME +1

*Zane: Did you know about this, Sensei?
Wu: I had hoped if I kept the secret, that name would never be spoken again.*

Great teaching. +1

*Misako: The First Spinjitzu Master did what he could, but he knew he would soon be defeated. Instead of losing the war he divided Ninjago in two.*

Ah, yes, a tactical retreat. +1

*Misako: And lucky for us, there have been no traces of the Overlord or his Stone Army until my recent discovery.*

So…Everything that happens throughout the rest of the season is your fault. +1

*Lloyd nods in agreement with his mother.*

Oh sure, she still abandoned you. Lash out, man! Yell, scream! +1

*Museum doors open to the public.*

This guy is wearing a space helmet for some reason. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: That kid in the front of wearing a Darkley's uniform. These kids show up everywhere. +1

*Curator: Found right here underneath this very building.*

How convenient. +1

*Stone Warrior statue revealed.*

Four arms. How refreshing. +1

*Venom of Devourer drips onto Stone Warrior.*

This little drop of venom somehow ended up on the ceiling. +1

*Man: It's alive!
Curator: Impossible, it just looks lifelike.*

You didn't hear it growl just then? +1

*Stone Warrior roars and attacks.*

The Ninjas didn't hear him or the people screaming, but the Stone Warrior heard Lloyd talk. +1

*Stone Warrior throws curator against pillar*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: No way you're up and running THAT quickly +1

*Lloyd: Have you discovered a way for me to not face my father?
Misako: I'm sorry, not yet.*

Well then you failed twice as a mother. +1

*Cole: Oh great! Kai, take care of him.*

By himself? You do see that it's the size of the room in you're in right now? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Why don't all five of you attack at once? Like, ever? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Also, why Kai? Wouldn't it make more sense to send Lloyd in? +1

*Misako: The Overlord created his army from an indestructible material only found on the Dark Island.
Kai: You could've mentioned that earlier.*

That's my line. +1

*Kai gets thrown into a vase*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: There's two broken vases. Kai only crashed into one +1

*Cole: How are we supposed to destroy this thing?
Misako: You can't.*

God, you suck at telling people useful information. "My son is the Green Ninja and I need you to train and raise him while I find a way to stop the final battle. Tell him this and that I love him." "The Stone Warriors are indestructible and can't be killed." +1

*Zane tries to kick the Statue.*

Zane thought a kick would defeat it when none of their weapons or Lloyd's powers work. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: And broken bones. +1

*Jay: It's a good thing we're in a museum.
Misako: Why's that?
Jay: Because we're all about to become history!*

Are you fine with those being your last words? +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Puns. You gotta love 'em +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Also, now is not really the best time for a joke, Jay +1

*Lloyd: The guy's got a pair of sneakers on him!*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: What size? +1

*Kai: He's pretty fast for a big guy!*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Yeah, well, his legs are twice as long as yours +1

*Stone Warrior creates hole in door and roars through it.*

"Here's Johnny!" +1

*Stone Warrior tries to break down door.*

Seriously? It's a door, you broke down walls earlier. +1

*Jay: Loser has to face him, so the rest can escape.*

Everyone, Wu and Misako included, just agree to sacrifice one of them! +1

*Jay: Not you, Chosen One*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Why don't you attack as a team? It's not that hard! +1

*Cole: I say we give the kid a shot.
Jay: You're just saying that because you're too afraid to face it!
Cole: Do you want to face it?
Jay: I say we give the kid a shot.*

Then shut up. +1

*Misako: Be careful, Lloyd, and good luck.
Lloyd: Thanks mom.*

Personally, I think they should've waited a few episodes more for Lloyd to forgive Misako. +1

*Garmadon on beach*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "Character washed up on beach" cliché +1

*Overlord: I've been waiting for you.*

The Overlord has Predator vision. +1

*Garmadon: Who are you? Where are you? What is this place? Where am I?*

Garmadon's mouth doesn't move. +1

Also, if you shut up, he might tell you. +1

*Overlord: I go by many names*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: No. You only go by "Overlord" +1

*Overlord: Destiny brought you here
Garmadon: This... this is the Dark Island!*

HailsStorm: Convenient +1

*Overlord: You will have everything you desire, but first, there is something you must do for me.*

The Overlord is somehow a bubble now. OK. +1

*Garmadon: And what would that be?*

I don't know Garmadon, maybe if you shut up he'd tell you. +1

*Cole shouts before attacking*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: And just gave away his location +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Also, I don't care what the plan was. You three can be doing something right now +

*Cole: Did we get him?*

I. "Did I get him." They did nothing. +1

*Misako trips*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: A girl tripped! Everybody stop and don't help! +1

*Stone Warrior chases after Misako.*

Instead of killing the already knocked out ninja, the Stone Warrior decides to go after the old lady. +1

*Five banners*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Plot convenience +1

*Misako hides from Stone Warrior*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "Character hides behind something destructible with about a dozen other of the same item in the room" cliché +1

*Lloyd: Paper breasts rock!*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Puns +1

*Stone Warrior falls through paper*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: That is some very, very, VERY thick paper. +1

*Misako: Of course, the bottomless pit.*

How did they find the Stone Warrior if it's bottomless? +1

*Misako: I feel like the balance has brought us together.*

Again, just my opinion, I feel like they should've waited for Lloyd to forgive her. +1

*Garmadon: Four hands? Is that a coincidence?*

Yes. +1

NinjagoGeek4EVER: That's my line +1

*Overlord: I told you, it is destiny*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: "It is destiny" cliché +1

*Dark Island emerges from the sea.*

Literal Yin and Yang symbolism. +1

*Credits*

NinjagoGeek4EVER: Well, this music really adds to the mood +1

Sin Total: 122

Sentence: I never knew my mother.

Thank you CHEESEPUFF fg, HailsStorm and NinjagoGeek4EVER for your many sins, I laughed while reading them!

R&R