Drowning in tears of Blood ch 6
Returning to Cheree and the others I went through the rest of the day smiling and laughing. But the second I was in my room I froze and fell to my knees. How could this happen? Why did this have to happen? I had loved him! And I… Had nearly given him everything. Back then I would have given him my arm if he had asked. Was I that deluded by the promise of something eternal that I would have missed all the signs? Or, or was there none. I wanted to throw something, destroy something, scream panic and cry. But I couldn't cry and my voice of reason told me that the consequences of throwing things around would be great, so I sat on the floor in the middle of the room, curled up in a ball my hands gripping my arms and my nails jammed into my skin so hard a drop of blood appeared, but all I could do was sit there, and stare at my knees. It took me till 3 in the morning before I could bring myself to move, and as I sat in a corner of my bed leaning against the head board my mind went blank.
In this subdued state I boarded the Shinkansen, I had enough in me to go through the motions, enough to fool people as we headed to Kyoto, our host family, and our assigned territory we were to protect while here. Finally some sense made it into my brain and I began to wake up. I still felt like crap, but I had a job to do here, and no one had been protecting that area for a week and a half, there was a lot to be done, and my friends would need useful help, not some half-awake zombie. The Shinkansen pulled to a halt at the station and we climbed out with all of our luggage. A group of family's stood with a sighn saying Rotary exchange students. So we headed that way to meet our familys.
I was with a lovely couple with 2 other children apart from the one tacking my place back in Australia. I was to call the mother and father Okasan, and Otousan (mum and dad respectively used when there not your parents or in polite conversation) the children, Kogoro 13, and Kyoka 10, were quite enamed with me, they'd never had a exchange student stay with them before. Smiling I made my introductions before they whisked me off to their house. Okasan run a Ryokan and Restaurant and they lived in a little house on the premises. Otousan was head chef. I was surprised and rather happy to find out it was one I had stayed in back in the Bakumatsu and I was relieved to find they hadn't modernized it too much, (running water and electricity excluded) Okasan asked if I could help with conversation with foreign tourist's in the front office. As one of their translators was going on maternity leave in a week and they had yet to find a replacement. Saying yes, they showed me to my room. A spot for a futon near the window, and a stack of drawers. Plus cupboards lining the room. There was a step up into an deep alcove were a desk was set up with a window looking onto the Ryokan gardens. Spot for paper and textbooks in the shelving lined the wall beside it, and while the desk was in the low traditional style I could remove a flap under it to rest my legs in a divot. It was a great setup I gave them that. I explored as I unpacked things finding more places to put things, and the second alcove meant for a scroll and small display sat empty. Removing my Kattana and tachi from their travel case I placed them in the alcove on the stand. Resting a hand on them for a moment I thought. 'So Katsura dono, is this what you meant with be careful with him?' I bowed my head again before moving on.
As midnight came, I slipped out. Meeting with Tom, Cheree, Alice, and Issy we began to scout out the place. Halfway through as I noted the changes from what I knew, Tom brought up the very thing I wanted to avoid. "So what happened yesterday, you were acting like you'd seen a ghost." He grinned like it was meant as a joke. But my face had darkened. "I did." I replied, my voice shook slightly, and I turned my head to the waxing moon. "and I, I.." I paused swallowing to get the words out. " I have been played the fool. It was Tomo." The group froze, they had only heard of him once when I told them what had happened to me over those 7 years. "He, was commanding a group of demons the other day that were about to attack a village and, there was no question, he was a demon. And I highranking one. I jammed my nails into my left wrist. "I thought losing you guys was hard back then, but now. No this is another thing completely. I need to take him out soon, or he'll play me like a puppet. But I don't know if I could raise my sword against him. I loved him, and when I thought he died, I stopped adding people to those I love list. I don't think I'll be able to draw my sword against him." Alice pulled me into a hug. "There's nothing you can do about that now G. Move on like you've taught us to. He's not the man you knew, so don't think of him like he is. He is someone else entirely. Remember that, and you'll be fine."
I closed my eyes. "Your right."
"There your words." She replied with a smile.
Looking up again I took a deep breath; she's right, take your own advice instead of just spitting it out. The man I knew died in my arms. This man is not him.
Mind set, we went to finish our job.