Here we go...I sat cross-legged in the dark silence of my room, a book titled Fundamental Understanding of Chakra that I had stolen from Kaa-san's library lay open in front of me as I tried to focus. While it wasn't exactly an instruction manual on how to use chakra(which I'm pretty sure I shouldn't really messing with right now anyway, as my chakra coils haven't yet fully developed and the last thing I wanted was to end up doing collateral damage), it was helpful in at least getting more information on what the mystical substance that allowed ninjas to do what they did was. It had taken a few tries to understand the book, though, as my one-year-old vocabulary was hardly good enough to translate a formally written book and the pictures only told you so much. I had to compare text from other, simpler books, along with sneaking some subtle questions in to Kaa-san.
Sitting in the light of the moon(I had quite taken to the gentleness of the night), I felt calm wash over me. I wasn't seeking to control my chakra at this point, but rather to simply gain an awareness of it. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I let myself focus on the inner workings of my body, pushing past sensations I already knew. Luckily, having lived seventeen years of my life previously in a non-chakra inhabited body, it was easy enough to separate out what felt different despite the fact that my chakra system was still tiny and in development.
The first thing that caught my attention was the slightly-colder section in the direct middle of my abdomen. Concentrating, I noticed how it seemed to move, although sluggish. Despite the fact that it was wispy, occasionally feeling even sharp at the edges, there was also a part of it that was sturdier and less willing to move. Mixed between both, I could feel a more mobile force, moving with more energy than the more solid parts. Curious, I gently prodded at the core of my chakra with my mind, feeling it's edge curve the slightest bit inward at my direction. While the more...translucent part looked like it would be harder to move, it bended as well, showing it's density despite it's nature, although it did slip a little more quickly and was a bit messier. Malleable, but hard to control.
Satisfied with my inspection of the center, I directed my attention to the web it fed, assaulted by the sense of flowing energy circulating to ever part of the body. It was harder to feel the same sort of composition in the vessels, though, as they were much smaller. As well, trying to focus on simply one branch of the system seemed almost impossible, as I would always be drawn to the ones around it as well. Everything was just a constantly moving cycle.
Opening my eyes, I let out a shaky exhale, letting the overwhelming information seep out from my thoughts. Looking back up at the sky from the clear glass of my window, I saw that the moon was almost halfway across the sky. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes and got up, crawling back into bed.
More exploration could wait until tomorrow.
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I could still remember when father came home the first few weeks and Kaa-san shyly broke the news to him, causing him to drop his chopsticks in the middle of eating an egg as he stared at her with pure shock. I hid my laugh behind a piece of toast as she walked over and showed him the pregnancy test. Only the soft look on his face as he leaned his head against Kaa-san's stomach could compare to his reaction at breaking the news.
It's been six months since then, and Kaa-san's stomach is noticeably bigger. She gets tired a bit more easily, and although she still likes going out to busy around town, she's been more and more restricted to the house simply because of the strain of always walking.
We've started flipping through baby names at night instead of reading stories, me tucked into her side as we picked out what we thought would be fitting. Since Kaa-san wanted the gender to be a surprise(like how mine was), so we looked at both male and female ones.
"What abo't...Natsuki?" I piped, tucked into Kaa-san's side, a big book of names propped up in front of us. The woman hummed, considering it for a second before shaking her head.
"No...she feels more like a...Susumi?" I wrinkled my nose.
"Eh…?"
We never ended up deciding, Kaa-san saying that she would know the moment she saw my new sibling. It became a waiting game.
Of course, pregnancies never liked making things easy, so it was when we were taking our usual walk in the afternoon when Kaa-san suddenly stopped, clutching her stomach.
Looking at me with wide eyes, she whispered "It's coming."
I had never had a sibling, I had never witnessed a pregnancy, and I had no idea what the hell to do when the baby was suppose to come out. So, I did the only thing I could do.
I flipped the fuck out.
Thank god a passing chunin was able to assess the situation and carry Kaa-san to the hospital, as all I did was make random screaming noises and run around in circles, making more trouble for my mother as she had to calm me down as well.
Outside of her hospital room, even after being comforted by nurses, I walked the floor nervously, wincing a little every time I heard her faint scream from beyond the door. The sight of a small toddler pacing in concentration, though, causing a few onlookers to giggle.
After a few hours, in which I was treated to lunch by some of the staff, I was finally allowed into the room.
Throwing myself onto Kaa-san's legs, who was sitting up on the bed and cradling a tiny bundle. Pressing the side of my face into the blankets, I stared at her with big eyes, begging her for information. She smiled, obviously tired yet extraordinarily happy, and gently turned the baby towards me.
"Hello, Kori-chan. Meet your new little sister~!"
I got up, eagerly peering at the small wrinkly face of my sibling. Babies looked weird, like little dried raisins, but the fact that they had such miniature detailed features like that of any grown person made made up for that in a way. It was almost...cute.
"Her name is Temari."
Temari! What a nice name-I froze.
Wait...T...Temari?
As in...Gaara's sister...Temari?
Everything clicked into place. Rasa, my father. Karura, my mother. I knew those names were familiar, I knew- I just hadn't been able to remember.
No way. No fucking way. This couldn't be real…could it?
"Kori-chan? Is there something wrong?"
I snapped out of my thoughts, forcing a smile onto my face as my mother(who would be dead in three years. My wonderful, loving mother-) looked at me with concern.
"N-No! T-Temari is...cute!"
Kaa-san would have to stay in the hospital with...T...Temari for a week before getting cleared, so I was sent to stay with one of her friends, a nice woman a few years old than Kaa-san whose son was in the Academy. While they were extremely pleasant to be around, all I could do from the moment I left the hospital, all through the(deliciously made) dinner, and up until I was set up in a spare futon in their guest bedroom, was think.
Think of what had happened. What was going to happen. What that would mean for me, what that would mean for my family, what the hell I was suppose to do-
A lot of things, really. Oh shit, what was I gonna do?
There was no choice at this point, to get involved in the plot, because like hell I was going to let Gaara waste his sanity away, ostracized and thinking he was hated, and suffering- and at this point, there was no way I was escaping the insanity of the Fourth Shinobi War, where the entire fucking world was at risk of getting destroyed. I felt my chest get tighter, realizing that I was breathing a little too quickly, just the thought of the complete fucking drug-trip Kaguya and Co. was.
Oh god, I wasn't going to survive, was I?
Feeling tears bud at my lashes, I quickly shoved down the lump in my throat, shaking my head.
No. No. I could do this. I had information, and as long as the people that mattered didn't die, then neither would the rest of us.
Yes, it would be okay. In fact, perhaps I could even help lessen the destruction. I would have to get a notebook, write out everything I can remember, everything that happens from this point on.
With a new goal in mind, I felt the panic ebb slightly. Although I still didn't sleep for the rest of the night, I could face my Kaa-san and Temari in the morning without feeling weak at the knees. And as my baby sister wrapped her tiny(tiny, oh so tiny) hand around my finger, I felt that determination bloom.
I would keep her safe. I would keep them all safe.
Temari...was a nightmare. Most nights after they came back from the hospital, she's woken us up in the middle of the night by screaming for food. Kaa-san assured me that it was normal, and would probably stop after a few months(A few. Months.), musing on how I was an remarkably quiet infant. While I was willing to bear it the first few times, after the ninth day with half-sleep, I cracked.
"Kaa-san!" I shouted, marching into the room where she was reaching over to pick up a wailing Temari, "I can't do it anymore-"
"Hmm?" She glanced at me, dark bags prominent under her eyes, looking like she's gotten no sleep in days, and I faltered in my anger.
"N-nothing..."
Standing awkwardly in the doorway, I watched as Kaa-san feed Temari and put her back to sleep before she turned to me and opened her arms. Silently accepting her hug, I felt Kaa-san rub the top of my head soothingly.
"I know Temari can be a handful sometimes," I inwardly scoffed. Handful didn't even cover it- "but as your sister, you have to be there for her even on her 'off' days. Ne?"
I slowly nodded into her shirt.
"Family is very important, after all…"
I didn't complain the night after that. Nor the one after that. Nor the one after that one.
In due time, I found myself getting used to the midnight noise, as Kaa-san was always quick to attend to Temari, and the moment she held the baby, she would stop crying.
And some mornings, I would wake up to the breakfast table and see Tou-san, holding Temari as she made gurgles at him. And for the time being, everything would be complete in that moment.
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"RAWRRR! The S-rank nuke-nin, Savage Orange Man, is attacking the Sand village!
Dark ink covered the front side of the fated tangerine, forming comically scary eyebrows and a deep, sharp frown. Classic evil in bold sharpie.
"OH NOOOOO! There's only one person who can defeat him and save Suna from the clutches of citric evil!"
The poor abused orange was suddenly and violently thrown at the large town of stacked building blocks, bringing them down like bowling pins. Bruised and half-covered in the ruins of a the fake city, the tender fruit cried a single imaginary tear from one misshapen eye.
"Enter, Super Kunoichi Temari!"
The not-yet-one-year-old toddler in question squealed happily, her short blonde hair ticking the top of her cheeks and a large makeshift cape swishing around her feet. With a mighty roar, she charged towards me, open-mouthed grin gracing her chubby face.
I sat cross legged above the wrecked towers, opening my arms wide as my little sister tackled me and brought us both to the ground, making sure to fall gently.
"Warghhh! So you dare challenge my reign of fruit!? I guess I have no choice but to fight back..."
Wrapping Temari up in a hug, I restrained her with a devious smile.
"Super secret hidden sand technique: A Thousand Years of Tickles!"
As I wiggled my fingers along her side, Temari squealed and desperately tried to squirm out of my grasp to no avail. Mwahaha small tyrant, I got you now!
"Oof!" A sudden rush of air escaped me as she suddenly decided to kicked me in the stomach, my arms moving to rub tenderly at the place where her little feet decided to nail me.
Damn, even at this age she was violent.
Perfect for her future profession.
Temari stop struggling as she noticed the lack of resistance, choosing to turn towards me instead as I abruptly played dead. There was a moment of silence in which I wondered if she had left before Temari decided to hit my face in an open-palmed slap.
Ouch.
That little shit.
I still hadn't 'woken up' yet, so she was getting worried, making cute little noises that sounded like questions. Humph. Like that'll make up for the fact that you just freaking slapped me in the goddamn face.
"Nee-s'n? Nee? Neeeeeee-" At first signs of a sob, I instantly sat up.
"Heyyy Temtem! I'm right here! Wooo!"
Why is it so easy for toddler to cry.
Her expression brightened with a squeal of 'Nee!' and with another slap(why me), it turned back into fun and games. She better be glad she's my little sister because otherwise I would've hit her back by now. And it wouldn't of been pretty.
Looking down at her bright little face, I only sighed.
A few months after Temari was born, I was suddenly faced with a dilemma as I stared down into her crib. With big green eyes the color of leafy jade forests and a droopy smile, she had reached out for me, curling her teeny fingers around my index one as she usually liked to do.
That small, innocent baby was going to grow up one day. And she was going to become a fucking kick-ass Jonin and then marry some lazy clan genius-and she was my precious little girl.
SHUT UP I KNOW I GET ATTACHED EASILY.
YOU DON'T NEED TO RUB IT IN.
The fact was, where can you get in this world as a skillless civilian? I didn't want to be some worthless, weak liability, always having to be protected by my siblings and in danger of being killed at the slightest of whim because I can't defend myself.
No fuck that.
In fact, I should be the one protecting them. Most definitely not the other way around.
Even if I did know that none of them die, it can't stop me from worrying. Maybe my birth already affected the world, maybe things are getting changed.
What if they do die this time? Then that would entirely be because of me
I wouldn't be able to deal with, to live with the fact that I couldn't save them. That I caused their deaths.
Well, from the beginning, I had already had my mind on being a ninja. Even if it meant I might die, I want to do my best-and it wasn't like I could stay home the rest of my life either.
Anyway, I huffed through a smile, it would've been embarrassing to be the oldest sibling and yet the weakest.
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Kaa-san hummed to Temari as she watched me run through my warmups. As an increasingly energetic kid, there was only so much my mother could do to keep me entertained. So, with the advice of her brother(my uncle), who was a jonin, I began...training. In a way.
I huffed, my arms burning, and pushed myself up again shakily. It was only my 2nd pushup but my body was still squishy and weak. I barely made 3 before collapsing and moving on to stretching.
My routine so far consisted of a series of 'warm up' exercises(really more like a regular fitness program but less intense) that lasted two hours before running through taijutsu forms(another hour), taking a water break before I melt into a wet puddle of flesh, and then, surprisingly, flinging dulled down kunai at stumps for a while before finishing with some easy stretches.
So basically, ninja training. (As Tou-san's genetic line was full of strong ninjas with the kekkei-genkai of magnet release, I suppose we were classified as a clan now. Which technically meant I was undergoing clan training)
I wasn't complaining. In fact, things couldn't've worked out better in order for me to reach my goals.
In this world, it's the strong that survive. And I needed strength,(because some things are just too hax to beat. Like the fucking Sharingan.)
Or at least that's what I tell myself when I'm lying in the dirt, sweat mixing into the ground as the hot sun-that-still-makes-me-long-for-death beats down on my face, covered in a layer of grime that begs me to shower. But despite my exhaustion, I bathed in feeling of accomplishment from a job well done.
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I peaked into Kaa-san's room to see her and Temari sound asleep in their afternoon nap. Although she needed less attention now that she was almost a year old, Temari was still a kid. And unlike me, she didn't have years of prior knowledge. As a result, despite being mild even at her young age, Temari was definitely more troublesome than I was and Kaa-san found it a full-time job to keep up with her.
Gently closing the door, I tried to find something else to do. These days, my options were mainly narrowed down to training, learning, playing with Temari, and randomly wandering around the village. I was bored.
And usually, if I'm bored, stupid things happen.
A lot of stupid things, born out of hyperactive tendencies.
I made a note to apologize for any and all trauma that I may cause in hopes of finding entertainment.
But I guess at this point in time, I would just study for now.
What was the third part of the Shinobi Code of Conduct again?
My bookshelf was slowly being filled with more and more books centered around being a ninja, consciously or otherwise(some days, I would find books left for me by the self, possibly as subtle encouragement from Tou-san).
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Singing an obscure song that I faintly remember from my past life under my breath, I watered my newest cactus.
In light of my newfound free time, I took up the wonderful hobby of gardening. Choosing to ignore the fact that Suna was a hot, sandy, lifeless pit of doom and that all the nice leafy plants died millenniums ago, there was still something that had managed to endure.
Why, cacti of course!
Round, tall, or in all the various shades of green, cacti were great. And they bloomed pretty little flowers in certain seasons as well!
Alright look, it was the closest I could get to any sort of greenery other than my lonely houseplant that had to be kept under constant maintenance, and at least it wouldn't shrivel up and wilt in the deathly heat that was the Suna sun. Don't fucking judge me.
Speaking of which, I quickly retreated indoors after my job was done, watching my plants through the window. Where I was safe from being turned into a little crisp of charred kid.
Yes. Very nice.
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Oh god. Not again. Not this again. It hadn't even been a year.
"What." Disbelief.
"I said, Hoki-chan, that you're gonna get a little sister and-slash-or brother again! Aren't you excited?" Fear.
Fuck no I've had enough of that shit with Temari! Do you know how crazy pregnant woman were?!
I stared at lump on Kaa-san's belly with horror, remembering the wild mood swings and strange cravings and weird actions of her past pregnancy.
No, please, I couldn't handle watching my usually gentle mom cry over shrimp and blend cabbages into a smoothie.
Please.
As usual, my prayers went unanswered.
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All the way in Kiri, the Mizukage wondered whose lovely tortured scream he was hearing.
Sorry if this chapter seemed kinda choppy, I just had to fix the timeline first, and I'm thinking of working on the third chapter, but at the same time I need to revise this one...? *dies*
-5/12/18