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Chapter 9

"Why am I not surprised that you disobeyed my orders." Fury chuckled sitting on the couch. "Seems to be your new style. Did you talk to Rogers?"

She didn't know what to make of Fury's reaction of her leaving Paris and flying to DC. "No, he wasn't there."

"He quit, did you know?"

She nodded. "Yes, I heard." She sat down on the armchair facing her boss. "Am I fired?"

He crossed his arms. "Thought crossed my mind but we already lost Captain America. SHIELD can't afford to lose the Black Widow, too. You fucked up, Natasha."

"I fucked up? I'm not the one who set that meeting up in your office! Even if Ste- Captain Rogers and I weren't...intimate, he would have been pissed when he found out that SHIELD was spying on him."

"I sent you to protect him!"

"Oh, please." She scoffed. "Captain America can very much protect himself. I'm a spy, not a soldier. I don't do protection."

"Fine, I wanted to know what Rogers did in his private life. Not that you shared a lot of that with SHIELD. At least now I know why. I just thought he was very private and didn't share much with his neighbor but turns out you were his private life." Fury raised an eyebrow. "I don't remembering telling you to sleep with him."

"I didn't plan for it to happen, Nick. It just did."

He titled his head. "Do you really love him?"

"Yes." She answered immediately. "Yes, I do."

Fury chuckled lightly. "And here I thought I've seen everything. You're staying in Europe for now. I can't have you back in the States, we're trying to get Rogers back and your presence could prevent that."

"He won't come back, Nick. He's done with SHIELD."

"He's Captain America. What's he gonna do? Open a dog parlor?" He stood up. "Report to the London office until tomorrow." He gave her shoulder a light squeeze when he walked past by her. "I'm not happy with the whole situation but I'm not mad that you fell in love, Natasha." And then he was gone. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

She left for London an hour later and sent Clint a list with things she asked him to send her to London. She reported to the SHIELD office and was provided with a new apartment. Fury didn't tell them why she was here because everyone was excited that the Black Widow was now working them.

Natasha spent the next two months traveling around Europe tracking down targets and killing them. She was exactly doing the same work she did before Steve but she was a completely different person now. She barely ate, couldn't sleep and turned down every man who approached her because she couldn't bare the thought of someone else touching her. Her body belonged to Steve, only he was allowed to touch her. Not that he wanted that. She tried to keep taps on him and found out that he left DC. She figured that he moved to Brooklyn. He had always told her that he wanted to move back there one day and even admitted with blushed cheeks that he already looked up hospitals where she could work. She even allowed herself to dream about a life with Steve in a pretty brownstone house in Brooklyn but of course that would have never happened.

She knew that Fury, Coulson and Hill all tried to convince Steve to return to SHIELD but he turned them down. He was done with SHIELD for good. Who could blame him? They all lied to him. She didn't know what he was currently doing. Maybe he was thinking about rejoining the army.

Everyday she checked the flights to New York City and was about to book one and everyday she closed the tab before she click on one. She wanted to go to him, she still loved him so much. And something inside her told her that she would never stop loving him. He was a part of her. She had called his cell phone daily in the beginning but one day a voice told her that the number was no longer in service. She tried to find out his new number but she was unsuccessful. She even tried calling Sam but he just told her to never call him again and hang up. Did Steve read her file? Did he toss it away before reading it? Did he read her letter? Did he know that she told him as much about her as possible? Did he know that she was so very, very sorry?

She was currently in Athens but couldn't fall asleep and went to the hotel bar to get some vodka into her. The barkeeper hit on her but she ignored him and left after her third martini to go back to her room. She removed her make up and brushed her hair that was red again and went to bed staring at the ceiling remembering how Clint had told her that he tried to talk to Steve when he came to SHIELD to clear out his locker but he wouldn't hear a word. Not that she thought that he would have actually listened to Clint, Steve hated her. He probably had a Voodoo doll or a dartboard with her picture on it.

She was in Rome looking for an arms dealer when she got a text from Fury that made her heart stop.

Come immediately to NYC. We have reason to believe that Rogers has been abducted.

She dropped everything and pushed the pilot out of the way to fly the quinjet herself. She had never been so scared in her life. It didn't matter that Steve hated her, she would do anything to save him. But who or what managed to kidnap Captain America? Didn't matter, she would rip them apart to save him.

SHIELD drove her to Steve's apartment in Brooklyn where Fury was waiting for her. She felt bad for being in his apartment but that wasn't important now. He already hated her and she had to find him and save him.

"What happened?" She yelled at Fury when she stepped through the front door. "Who took him?"

"Calm down, agent. I know this is personal for you!" Fury followed her through Steve's apartment. She didn't even know what she was looking for. Maybe there was a clue here. "We're checking every cam in New York right now to figure out what happened. All we know is that no one has seen him in three days."

"Three days?!" She turned around to glare at her boxx. "He's been missing for three days and you only tell me now?! He could be..." No, she couldn't finish that sentence. Just thinking about Steve being dead hurt too much. She left Fury in the living room and went through the other rooms. Aside from a kitchen, bedroom and bathroom, he had a guestroom and an art studio/office combo. She didn't feel good doing it but she went through his stuff anyway. Everything could be a clue to his whereabouts. She would slowly kill whoever took him. She opened the drawer of his nightstand and was greeted by the letter she wrote him. It looked like he had read the letter a lot, the paper was battered and had been folded numerous times. He still had the letter...What did that mean?

"Yeah, I found that too." Fury said behind her. "I didn't read it, don't worry. I recognized your handwriting."

She put the letter back into the drawer and closed it.

"I also found your real file in his safe." Fury continued. "You must really love him if you gave that to him."

She didn't respond to that and tried not to think too much about what it meant that he still had her file and letter. It wasn't important now. She had to find him and bring him home and she would kill everyone who got in her way.

"Natasha?" She turned around and Fury held up a tablet. "I think we know what happened to Rogers. Take a look."

She took the tablet out of his hands and started the video. She saw Steve jogging down the street and her heart jumped in her chest. She hadn't seen him for so long. His hair was longer and he had a beard now. Was she imaging things or did he look sad? Did he miss her too? A blonde woman with her back to the camera stumbled and fell down and Steve tried to help her up but she saw how the woman rammed a syringe into his neck. Rage was coursing through her veins, she needed to find that woman and kill her. A van raced towards them and they dragged Steve into it. The woman turned around and smirked into the traffic cam before she climbed into the vehicle. Natasha's breath got caught in her throat. She would recognize that face anywhere. Yelena took Steve. Yelena Belova the woman who claimed to be the rightful Black Widow kidnapped Steve. Steve was in danger because of her. How did Yelena even know what Steve meant to her? The last time she had run into Yelena she spared her life but this time she would kill her. She had Steve, she had to to die.