Tony woke to the sound of Steve's near-shout, his eyes bursting open as Steve burst upright, and his hand flew out to Steve's panting chest before anything else registered, pulling Steve into the circle of his arms, back down against his chest, "You're okay."

Steve was shaking like a leaf, his hands bruisingly desperate, clutching Tony closer and hiding his face into his chest. Tony's hand fluttered down, resting against Steve's blond hair softly as he held on.

"You're safe." It wasn't working this time. Steve was trapped somewhere under all that ice, and Tony couldn't pull him out like this. "Steve...Steve! You're safe. You're with me. Just breathe."

Steve held him tighter for a moment, and Tony was almost worried his ribs would break again before Steve released him. "T-Tony?"

"Hello, bright eyes."

"Tony-did I hurt y-"

"Steve, Steve, calm down." Tony soothed, easing him back to laying down, trying to get his taught muscles relaxed. "Just relax, I'm fine. We both are." Tony started petting gently through his hair, and Steve sighed against his chest. "I remember this, Steve; I remember the nightmares...When I first got back from Afghanistan, I didn't sleep for almost a month before I got my head on right again."

"How did you…?"

"I just...let it go. If it was all a dream, my being saved, then it was the last dream I was ever going to have, and I wasn't going to relish losing it, but I wasn't going to hold on too tightly and have it slip through my fingers, either." Tony's arms tightened around Steve's shoulders, "And I had some imaginary help…" Tony whispered, rubbing his thumb along the curves of Steve's bicep. "I'd put it behind me for the longest time, your story. I didn't wanna think about it because it just...reminded me of how disappointing I was to the old man. I wasn't you. -No, stop it, now. Hush. You're hearing this, Steve Rogers." Tony's voice was more stern than he ever would've given himself credit for. "I started collecting things...memorabilia. Peggy had kept your sketch book and a few other things. I went to see her about a month before she died, and she gave me a pile of stuff that didn't really matter to anyone but her and me." Tony touched the back of Steve's neck, and they climbed out of bed, Steve half-carrying Tony as he slowly inched along, clinging to Steve's shoulders. "I sat with her for those last few weeks as much as I could. She wanted me to tell her the stories my dad used to tell me. This was after Iron Man had been really created, of course; I disappeared as much as I could from the public eye, and where better to do that than England countryside?" Tony shook his head as he clicked in a passcode to a half-hidden key pad in his closet.

Steve watched in awe as the neat lines of suits shrank and folded on themselves, opening to another room. It felt like something from those spy movies Tony had made him watch. Steve's small intake of wondered breath stopped altogether as he saw the room slowly light up each item before them. A bullet-ridden cab door with a red star painted in the centre; the shield he'd used to rescue Bucky from Hydra; a picture of his anorexically-skinny self shaking hands with Dr. Erskine before the experiment...Tony had accumulated a roadmap of all the moments that had mattered. "How…?"

"It took a while, but it was actually not that difficult once I figured out how and where to look. The cab door and the shield were in an old collector's cabin in Canada, and the pictures were in a SHIELD-owned warehouse in Minsk. Peggy managed to keep most of your personal effects. This is what helped keep me a little bit sane." Tony seemed to be reaching for his words just as much as Steve seemed incapable of any of them, surrounded by things from another lifetime. "I know it ranks up there on the creepy-scale probably more than Coulson ever could have dreamed, but-mmmuph!" Tony stumbled under Steve's sudden attack, lips very happily busy. Steve picked him up, carrying him back to bed with a single-mindedness that made Tony feel a little lost. Steve set Tony down on the bed, taking his lips over and over again, pulling away only to stare into Tony's eyes with a dark gaze of his own. "So you're not-mmm." Tony hummed as Steve kissed him again, pushing him back against the bed, "You're not gonna-" Tony gave up on trying to speak altogether in light of Steve's tongue slipping brazenly into his mouth. "Mmm, okay, Steve-"

"Stop talking." Steve ordered, his weight suspended on his arm so that he could kiss Tony without pressing against his chest.

"But, Steve-" Tony pushed against Steve's chest, making him break off from yet another smothering, wonderful kiss, "Steve, we haven't exactly talked about this…"

"I've had enough of talking about it. And thinking about it. And dreaming about it, Tony! I'm ready, I love you, you love me, and I think we've both earned this at this point."

"Steve, you've earned better than this for your first time!" Tony insisted as Steve went to kiss him again.

It was all kind of a rush, but Tony found himself straddling Steve's chest with the supersoldier trapped against the bed in the next moment, and Tony felt a small flash of pride that refused to acknowledge that Steve had probably let Tony move him for fear of Tony hurting himself.

"There should be candles and Sade and...and I don't even know, but it should be more than this!"

"What more do you need, Tony?"

"I need you to feel good about this. I need to make sure you're not going to have anything to regret!" Tony made a sound of protest as Steve pulled him down, slotting their lips together again. "Steven Grant Rogers, listen up and stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"Trying to distract me with that mouth. It's not going to work: I won't let it work; you're listening to me whether you like it or not!" Steve smirked at that, leaning down to ghost his lips over Tony's skin, not quite a touch. "You and I are new to me, Steve. And we're new to you, too. I just...I think we need to make this special."

"More special than slow dancing on my birthday, and catching me when I was being flung through the air, and-"

"And I'm talking about you and I doing something that will take something from you that you can't get back."

"Tony, I want you. Do you not want me?"

"I definitely want you, that's not even a question-"

"Then why are you being difficult?"

"Because! You're...you, and I'm just...I'm not-"

"I swear to god, if you say "worthy"; if you so much as think it, or any variant, I'm going to spend the next week making you pay."

Tony's eyes widened comically, and Steve flipped them easily, Tony's head cradled in Steve's hand against the pillows. "Steve-"

"Tony." Tony snorted into helpless laughter at Steve's lecherous tone, over-the-top and purposefully ridiculous. Steve started kissing at Tony's neck, which was new territory for them.

"I can't run away. This totally isn't fair." Tony grunted, semi-cut off by a small groan of pleasure as Steve nipped lightly at his skin.

"Why would you want to run away?" Steve asked slowly, tracing his tongue along the edge of Tony's collarbone. He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew he liked it, and that he wanted more.

"Because...I want to give you good memories of this…" Tony panted out, biting his lower lip.

"Then stop telling me you want to give me more and give me what you have to offer right now." Punctuating the last two words with kisses to the expanse of skin just under Tony's ear, Steve drew his lips back to Tony's, kissing solidly.

"I-I'll make you a deal…" Tony gasped out, shuddering, and Steve's arm came up to rest next to Tony's head, keeping himself off Tony's chest again. "T-Tomorrow, we'll do this. I'll set everything up, and we'll do this. Tonight, we...we make out and fall asleep like normal?"

Steve growled a little. "Why don't we just play it by ear?"

Steve kept kissing his skin, touching him gently and exploringly, and Tony was honestly terrified. Every last cell was screaming for more of this, but he knew that getting more was something he'd never planned on; never figured out and analyzed. He hadn't realized how stupid he'd been until Steve started sucking on his earlobe, drawing out a pathetic whimper. This was his idol; his childhood hero; and he had this sinking feeling that he was about to royally fuck up absolutely everything.

Tony, contrary to popular belief, wasn't sex-crazed to the point of his IQ going out the window. He knew exactly what the ramifications of the morning after would be for every one-night-stand he had. But Steve wasn't a one-night-stand. He was a tear-your-clothes-off-and-burn-them kind of love, and Tony really didn't know what would come after giving into that temptation. He didn't know how to handle himself. There was nothing in the Tony Stark playbook for this one.

"Relax, Tony."

"Having a panic attack."

This got Steve to stop, "Why?"

"Because...I haven't really done this before. I've had sex, yes, but this...this isn't sex."

"Tony, I honestly never took you to be such a romantic." Steve snorted, resting his head down against Tony's shoulder, "If you really want me to stop right now, I'll stop. We can wait."

Tony looked torn, but grateful, and he kissed the tip of Steve's nose. "Thank you." Steve settled down against Tony's chest, his head cradled against Tony's shoulder, "I promise, soon, though."

"Alright, I love you."

"I love you, too." The ease with which he said those words amazed him. But most everything about his and Steve's relationship amazed him. "I love you so much."

Steve hugged him closer, "Your heart always skips beats when you tell me you love me."

Tony pulled Steve into a kiss, nuzzling them close together, sliding the blankets back over them. "Can you really blame me?"

"No." Steve smiled, cradling Tony's cheek in his palm and kissing him again, humming in appreciation.

"Go to sleep, little superhero. You'll need your rest."

"That sounds promising."

Tony snorted, shaking his head, "Somehow I get the feeling that extremely athletic sex is just what the doctor ordered."

Steve hushed him, his eyelashes fluttering down against his cheekbones as he went still and his breathing evened out. Tony watched him slip off entirely, holding him safe and warm, taking comfort in the fact that Steve loved him like he did. Tony couldn't believe it. Not any of it. As far as he was concerned, Steve was the most precious person this world had to offer; how the hell did he end up entrusted with loving him? How was he supposed to take care of him when Tony was so much more...breakable than Steve was? It felt insurmountable to think that Steve had been trying to get in Tony's pants. Steve was the most innocent and righteous person he knew; that Steve was offering himself up like that was unthinkable; inconceivable. And Tony had said no. That was even more shocking.

Steve didn't stir as Tony kept his hold on him into the early hours of the morning, sleep evading the inventor. It was surprising when Steve spoke into the darkness, his hand against Tony's chest, "I love you, Tony. You mean the world to me. I never should have said those things when we first met. The truth of it is, I don't think there's anyone out there that means as much to the world as you do; no one else that means as much to me as you do. I'll love you for as long as I breathe, and I need you to trust me that I won't be shaken from ever loving you like it would kill me to lose you."

Tony felt tight-throated, his eyes stinging. Steve's hold on him tightened gently, and Tony gasped a breath, tears falling down his temples as he laid there in Steve's arms, feeling the huge expanse of everything between them that stole away everything that Tony Stark had ever considered himself to be, burning away everything that came before. "I trust you, Steve. I trust you with my life and my heart."

Steve turned his head, pressing his lips to Tony's chest, over his heart, "I won't lead you astray."

We're at the calm before the storm I'm afraid to say.

Thanks for all the comments, as always, I wouldn't've gotten this far without the feedback, and I hope the story keeps delivering for you guys 3