Chapter Seventeen: Not Alone

Maxs Pov

One more week. I just have to make it through one more miserable week until I'm out of this hell hole for seventeen glorious christmas break days!

I can't wait to see my mom again and spend the holidays with her and sam and his mom, doing our traditional holiday things like binge watching christmas movies and baking cookies and our annual feast.

My friends are great but I miss home.

"Max," Ella calls, pulling my from my thoughts. "Come on, class is over."

I look around and find that everyone has vacated except Ella, me and our teacher.

How did I not hear the bell?

I quickly scramble up my things, shove them into my bag and follow Ella out the school doors, where all of our friends are waiting on the steps.

"Finally you guys are here," Nudge exclaims. "I'm in a rush but I just wanted to make sure were all on the same page about break. Were leaving the evening of the 15th so everyone make sure they have their stuff packed and drivers have a full tank. Were staying until the 22nd and then were all going home to spend christmas with our families and then meeting back here on the 30th to spend new years together. Got it?"

We all nod in unison and nudge smiles proudly. "Good then you are free to spend the rest of the day as you please. If you need me Angel and I will be at the hairdresser so please don't need me."

She exchanges quick goodbyes with everyone before rushing off with Angel to their hair appointment which they're probably already a half hour late for.

"Martinez, you wanna come with us to get something to eat?" Fang asks.

"No way, pretty boy. You've had her all week. It's my turn to hang out with her," Ella responds.

He raises his hands in surrender, a small smirk on his face. "My apologies ma'am. She's all yours."

"Thank you very much sir," she smiles victoriously. "I would actually appreciate if one of you guys came with us tho. I have to find an outfit to impress Caden's parents and I need a male opinion."

"I'm in!" Iggy agrees almost immediately before anyone else has the chance to but to be honest I don't think any of the other guys even contemplated it.

Fangs not into fashion -all of his wardrobe basically consists of black or grey t-shirts and sweatpants- and Gazzy has already expressed many times how hungry he is and how he will die right here right now if he doesnt get food soon.

Iggy follows us towards Ella's car while the other guys head off to go find food. My stomach growls at the thought of food; of cheese fries and hot wings and icecream. I really wanted to go get food but Ella was right. I haven't hung out with her in what seems like forever because she's always with Caden and I'm always with Fang and I miss Ella time.

Besides we can go get food after the mall. It's Ella, she doesn't take long to shop.

"So why do you have to get new clothes?" I ask, climbing into the passenger's seat. "You have plenty of clothes."

"Because, Max, have you met Caden? His parents own high class restaurants and this seven teen year old has more money in his bank account than my house is worth. His family is clearly very wealthy and sophisticated and I'm not gonna impress them with stained sweatpants and hoodies."

I can see that she really likes Caden and because of that really wants his parents to like her but I don't think that she should pretend to be something she's not to fit into a lifestyle she hates.

"Just make sure to keep that Ella personality that I love okay?"

"I know and I will, I just don't want to embarrass Caden."

"Did he ask you to do this?"

"No, of course not."

"That's because he doesn't care. He loves you the way you are. And if his parents say anything bad about you I have no doubt that he will defend you."

"And if he doesn't you've always got me; I'll kick his ass for you," Iggy chimes in from the back seat.

I turn around and he smiles unregretfully. He means what he said.

"You're so stupid," Ella rolls her eyes but I see a small blush on her face.

As stupid as Iggy is I see that what he said helped calm Ella's nerves a little and boost her confidence a little.

"Maybe you guys are right... but I still have to go shopping. I need warm clothes."

"Why?" I joke playfully. "Not like they'd stay on for long.

"Max! Shut up," Ella slaps my arm.

"I really did not wanna picture her and Caden… but now its stuck in my head... I see it every time I blink... I think I'm gonna throw up."

Iggy quickly rolls down his window and dramatically gags outside of the window, only causing us to laugh harder.

"Anyways..." Ella turns her attention away from Ig. "What if it actually goes terrible?"

"What if it actually goes really good?" I try. "What if things went amazing and you guys got married and had kids? I can already see it now; your daughter would be tall like Caden and have your tan skin and dark hair but his blue eyes and your son would be just a bit taller with his complexion and blonde hair but your dark green eyes. They'd be like models."

She smiles to herself and I can see that she's picturing it too in her head.

"Hey, Max," she finally says. "I've really missed hanging out with you."

I smile at her and lean my head onto her shoulder. "I've really missed hanging out with you too."

"So…," Iggy pops his head through the gap between mine and Ella's seats. "Is this the part where you guys kiss now? Because if so, I won't tell."

Ella slams on her breaks and sends Iggy flying back to the back seat.

"Oops."

Two hours, fifteen sweater dresses and about twenty dirty comments from Iggy later, Ellas finally done clothes shopping and we can leave.

She pays for the dresses at the counter, which actually come out pretty cheap because she found them all on the sale racks. They all look amazing on her and will hopefully reassure her that she's good enough for Caden's parents all on her own.

One of the many advanges not dating has is saving me from having to do the whole meet the parents thing. The only guy I've ever really dated was Sam and his mother practically raised me along with my own and wanted us to date since we were kids so I never had to worry about her not approving.

"Gazzy texted me that him and Fang are still at the diner if we wanna go get something to eat. Apparently there were crazy lines and they just got in like ten minutes ago." Iggy offers.

"I'm starving," I reply quickly. "Ella?"

She looks at her phone for a minute, most likely checking the time.

"I was supposed to meet Caden in half an hour to go get food but I can cancel if you guys wanna go."

"Cancel," Iggy says at the same time I say, "Bring him with us."

"Are you sure? I Know they don't really like him."

"We hate him."

"Iggy shut up," I glare. "Yes I'm sure. They're gonna have to get used to him eventually."

I think for the most part Gazzy and Fang are fine with him. They chat sometimes and laugh like friends or at least civil people. Iggy's the only one who doesn't like him and it's only because he has a crush on Ella.

"Okay I'll text him and tell him we'll be there to pick him up in 10."

We swing by Cadens dorm and pick him up immediately after the mall. I moved into the back so Caden could sit next to Ella and more importantly away from Iggy.

"Hello, beautiful," he smiles as he climbs into the car and kisses Ella on the cheek.

"Hey," she smiles back.

"Hey Max, Iggy."

"Hi," I greet back.

Iggy instead grumbles something under his breath and glares at the back of Caden's head. I smack his chest, a reminder to be nice but all he does give me a look too.

We head off to the diner and find Gazzy and Fang near the back, sitting across from each other in a large booth. As we get closer, I see that there's another person at the table, next to Fang. She's pretty and blonde and has more freckles on her cheeks than ten people have on their whole body.

When Fang sees us approaching, he leans over and whispers something the girl who kisses him on the cheek, stands and leaves.

Odd.

Ella takes a seat next to Gazzy, leaving room for Caden to sit on the other side of her. Iggy takes the seat in between Gazzy and Fang and I take the seat on the other side of Fang were the girl was just sitting.

"Why'd your girl toy leave?" I smirk.

"She's not my girl toy," he corrects. "And I asked her to leave so there'd be room for everyone to sit."

"So she's your girlfriend?"

I've never heard Fang mention dating anyone lately and I've never seen this girl before in my life. She must not go to TA.

"No… I don't date. Just someone I'm seeing right now." he settles on.

"You date girls all the time."

I see Fang with a new girl almost every other week and have heard many girls tell stories about dating him to their friends. They travel all over the school and as much as I try to avoid rumors, I've heard quite a lot.

He dates a lot.

"I see girls all the time, I don't date. If you hear that we're dating then that's their words not mine. I make it pretty clear what my intentions are and being official isn't one."

Something about the way he says makes me feel disgusted with him all over again. I thought these past few weeks that I was getting to know a better, more likeable Fang, someone completely different from all the rumors but maybe some of them were true.

"So you go on dates, parade them around in public, and treat them like girlfriends but won't actually give them the satisfaction of the title?" I scuff. "That's fucked up."

"I don't go on dates or treat them like girlfriends. It's purely physical, no feelings on my part and that may be fucked up to you but they know that and are okay with it," he shrugs.

"If you don't want anything serious then why do any of it at all?"

To me that seems to defeat the purpose. Seeing someone is supposed to be about liking them and later on dating if it all works out.

"Because I still like to have fun and do physical things, as do they. I just dont catch feelings. I can't."

Can't?

"Why not?"

"Because the last girl I dated caused me to do some really stupid things and I ended up losing someone I loved and I won't do that again. Wasn't worth it."

He's talking about the girl he was dating when he was fourteen. The one who he let himself be distracted by to the point where he abandoned his little sister when she needed him and that's why he thinks it's his fault that she ended up killing herself.

We haven't talked about it -his sister- since that night and though I wanna ask more about it, I know he doesn't like talking about, especially not here in front of everyone.

I do my best to conjure up a small smile and bump my shoulder against his. "Fine you're not an asshole… well at least not in this situation."

He chuckles a little and I think I even see him roll his eyes. "Thanks. So how come you don't date?"

Where do I even begin with that question: Partly because I don't trust anyone enough, partly because there's no one i'm interested in, partly because no one wants to date someone who won't sleep with them and partly because no one wants to date a girl who refuses to let them in and tell them about herself.

"Haven't found the right person," I settle.

"You don't strike me as the type of person who believes in the whole 'true love' bs."

"That's because I don't."

I did though. Once upon a time. But that was lifetimes ago.

"Me neither. Its overrated."

"Glad I'm not the only person who thinks so."

It's so easy for Nudge and Angel and Ella to find love but to me I've never gotten that overwhelming sense of euphoria or butterflies in my stomach. Not even with Sam. I loved him but it wasn't an "everything's blissful and amazing and I loved life" it was more of a comfortable, easy, feeling safe kind of love. But now that's over, our time passed and I don't think I'll ever have it again.

But maybe I won't be the only one alone forever.