Chapter Eighteen: Enlightened

Maxs Pov

I begin piling as many clothes as I can into two medium sized duffle bags. I make sure to grab every pair of sweatpants, sweatshirts, jeans, long sleeve shirts and pairs of fluffy socks that I see, which isn't much because I mostly own warm wheather clothing. The rest I fill with any jackets and leggings, still leaving a little room for clothes I may buy there.

The place we're staying at is Nudge's Family Cabin in Estes Park, Colorado and I've heard their winter's are freezing and snowy. I'm usually not a cold weather type of girl but going anywhere that means a whole week of no stress, no school and most importantly no Lisa sounds amazing.

Just my friends and I out in the Rocky mountains.

I was supposed to have all my stuff packed by last night but I procrastinated until this morning of course and besides, it doesn't take me long to pack my clothes and some toiletries because I don't need much to survive. I'm pretty much already done and still have half an hour before I have to meet everyone at Angel and Nudges room.

When I enter the girls dorm I find the room swarmed with heels all over the floor and clothes consuming the rest of the space.

"Woah, what the hell is all of this?"

"I can't find my straightener anywhere and we don't had anymore suitcases," Nudge explains. She looks stressed. "Do you have any extra?"

"I already gave them to Iggy and Fang... Why do you need them anyways? You already have like six," I say, motioning to the pile of bags laying on one of the bed.

How are we supposed to fit all of this into the cars?

"Only the three purple ones are mine. The zebra print ones are Angels. And technically I only have one, the other two are filled with my make-up, scarfs and shoes."

I stumble over the mess and plop down next to Angel on her bed. She looks equally stressed out about packing but seems to have her stuff ready to go for the most part.

"Why do you need a whole suitcase full of shoes? You would be fine with one pair of boots."

"Max, don't argue with me. I need my shoes."

"You can borrow some of mine." Angel tries.

A loud, rapid knock sounds from the door followed by a, "Hurry up, bitches. We gotta get going before its dark!"

Nudge throws open the door; Iggy, Fang and Gazzy enter, carrying their suitcases. Only two.

The three of them have less suitcases total then one of these girls have. That's saying a lot.

"Are you guys ready?" Gazzy asks, taking a long look around.

"Almost," Nudge confirms, slamming the cabinets shut in her bathroom. "God dammit, where is my straightener?"

"Oh that reminds me." Iggy says, pulling Nudge's pink straightener from one of his bags. "Here."

We all look at Iggy, confused.

"Don't judge me! My blow dryer broke and you don't just wake up with perfect, silky hair like this."

Nudge snatches the straightener from his hand and zips it into the front pocket of one of her suitcase. "Okay, now I'm ready."

We all grab our things -and by that I mean I grab mine and the guys grab their own and some of Angel's and Nudge's stuff since they have so much- and head outfront to where the two cars are parked. Fang hops into the driver's seat of his Jeep, Gazzy into his passengers and Angle and Nudge in his back seats. I ride in the passenger's seat of Iggy's car; the rest of Nudge and Angle's bags in his back seat because they didn't all fit in the trunks.

Three hours into the car ride and the radio has suddenly become very annoying. I try turning it off but the silence annoys me even more than the radio did.

Fourteen more hours of boredom.

I guess while I am in the car alone with Iggy though and nothing else to do, I should take this time to ask him questions that I've been wanting answered but have been too scared to ask Fang. He's not really good with sensitive topic, he usually will just end up getting upset and leave.

"Iggy… do you remember that day at the beach, when Fang was crying in the bathroom."

He's silent for a while but reluctantly answers, "Yes. Why?"

"He told me why.. he told me about his sister, Lyric."

"And?"

"I know losing a sibling to suicide must be hard, but why doesn't he get help?"

"Max, I'm not supposed to be talking to you about this."

"Iggy please? I just want to help him."

I'm not just asking to be nosey like most people, I'm actually because he'a my friend and I care about him and don't wanna see him upset like that again.

"He doesn't want to help, Max. Trust me... I've tried."

"Why not?"

"Drop it."

"Iggy, come on."

Iggy lets out an exasperated breath and I can see him contemplating it in his head.

"Fang has had help before."

I don't know what surprises me more, that fact that he's actually let someone help him before or that he's still like this after the help.

"When?"

"I think he was fifteen. After his sister had died but before he came here. There's still a lot you don't know about him."

"What do you mean?"

"Fang... hasn't always been the Fang you know now... After his sister died he became a different person. To get rid of the pain, he got into some hard drugs and alcohol and got in trouble a lot. It was the only way he felt could subside the pain and hurt he felt. He got pretty bad, too. From what I've been told, he went to the hospital at least six times for alcohol poisoning or almost overdosing. Arrested three, I think."

"And his mom never noticed?"

"Not until a few months after. She worked a lot, so she wasn't really around."

I read something about that in Lyrics note. That she worked a lot and wasn't around, left them with step dads often.

"What did she do about it?"

"Sent him to doctors. And when those doctors failed, she'd send him to more doctors. Finally she sent him to rehab for like five or six months."

"And what happened?"

"It was pretty rough for him. Without the drugs or alcohol he became very angry and mad all of the time. Mad at himself and the world and everyone in between, but especially his mom. They put him on medication twenty four seven he said zombie-d him out, didn't let him do anything; no phone, only 45 minutes of TV a day, only thing he was allowed to have was a note book."

"Did he become better?"

"Yea, after a few months, so they took him off of the medication and the last few months just basically kept him to see how he'd do without it."

"And was he fine?"

"Not fine but okay. He was actually getting up and doing things, instead of laying in bed all day or breaking things, made amends with his mom. He stayed like that... until they sent him home. It only took a week or so before he started acting out again. He wanted to leave, said he couldn't stay in that house anymore, not with Lyric's empty room just sitting there. So his mom sent him here, to TA, as long as he promised to take his medication."

"Does he?"

"Sometimes. It's not hard to tell when. When he's cool, funny, chill Fang he has but when he's drinking a lot, upset, not making a whole lot of sense then he most likely hasn't... But from what I've gathered he's a million times better here than he was there. His mom didn't want him to leave but she sees how much better off he is here and I promised her I'd look after him."

If someone had told me a few months ago that Fang Ride had suffered a lot as a kid and had a really messed up past I would of laughed and told them that Fang knows nothing about pain and suffering, his life is perfect, he gets everything he wants because he's wealthy, good looking and fortunate.

Little did I know that this boy has gone through so much and holds it together better than anyone I've ever seen.

"Where was his dad in all of this?"

"Which one? He had more than one."

"His birth one."

"He doesn't remember his birth dad, he left a week after lyric was born. Had a lot of bad step ones though; First when he was I think eight. They never like physically hurt them or anything but we're no where near qualified to care for kids. Mostly just ignored them. Then lyric died and she stopped dating and when she realized how much Fang was hurting put all her energy into getting him better."

"His mom seems…"

"Pretty terrible. I know. She was but not on purpose. She's a really sweet lady and has spent the last three years trying to make it up to Fang. She was just very oblivious, trying to work her way up to be able to afford nice things for her family and wanted them to have a father since their real one left… but he's forgiven her and they're really close and he's very protective over her so don't say anything to him about the bad things she did."

"I won't."

"Max, I've seriously told you a lot more than I should of. And it's because we're friends and I know you only wanna know because you care about him. So please don't make me regret telling you."

"You can trust me Iggy," I assure him. "I won't tell a soul."

The next few hours are silent. We stop a few times to use the bathroom and get food but other than that we try to get there as fast as possible; limiting stops to ten minutes or less and Iggy going fifteen miles over the speed limit.

I can't help thinking about Fang though and all the things Iggy told me about him. And I know that what I've been told probably isn't all of it. There's most likely more that lies behind that brick wall of Fangs.