Redefining Hero A Roy Harper Story
The real Roy Harper wakes up after three years and he's got a lot of catching up to do in a world that's strange and familiar at the same time. And he's not the only one that has to adjust. Time may have stopped, but the world has moved on. A different kind of journey that takes place for a hero that was given the short end of life and how he picks up, falters and ultimately discovers who he is a person.
A story of rediscovery in six parts.
Part 4 of 6: "Finding Yourself"
Words: 4,294
Notes: Again, thank you to all who reviewed or alerted last chapter. Though I admit I was a bit disappointed by lack of response; chapter three was a huge part of this story. But that's okay.
So, I know I was gone for a while, but I needed to examine this chapter from a lot of angles. It was difficult deciding what event should come next, though many of you comic readers did guess correctly.
Anyway, longer Author's Note at the end, so I hope you enjoy part four!
By the way, "Invasion" is turning out to be quite the season, huh? I hope you guys saw the preview for episode four because…hehe. Yup.
Oh and this is definitely AU from Season Two as my timeline doesn't even come close to matching theirs. And I took a lot of liberties in the third section. Just a warning: it might not make sense.
Disclaimer: See Part one!
On his 20th birthday, Roy decides to change his life.
The only way he can truly get on his own again is to get away from everything and everyone. He needs his own city to protect, to all his own. Which is why he chooses Steel City to make his. Because it's a city so messed up as he is and he figures he needs that. Reform it as he reforms himself.
His apartment is shabby, the paint's peeling off the walls, the lights flicker on and off, the bathroom's a nightmare, the bedroom's in tatters, but it's his. The apartment is broken and it needs a lot of work. The thought makes Roy smile because his apartment is just like him and this city is just like him.
They've got a lot of work to do.
After Roy cleans out the apartment (the furniture looks as dirty as the city and there is no way in hell that he is sleeping on that mattress), he starts to make it really his. And he has help; after all, it's not every day someone on the team gets an apartment. Well, someone that they know. Out of guilt and courtesy, he invites the Team, Hal, Dinah and….Ollie and Red Arrow.
Ollie doesn't respond to the invitation and neither does Red Arrow, but everyone else does; it's going to be a hell of a decorating party.
As he reaches his apartment after purchasing food and supplies, Roy realizes that tomorrow, or later, is his first online class. He's excited for it; he never thought he'd say that about school. But he's been cleared by the Batman (who the hell died and made him authority?) for his high school GED. And with his hero life about to kick back in, Roy accepts the fact that he has to take his college classes in a different way.
It feels good to know that he's gaining control of his life again.
Wally, Dick and Kal are the first to arrive and they greet Roy exuberantly. It still fazes Roy to see his close friends grown up, but he's content in knowing that at least this time, he's there with them. He knows that he'll have to explain to them sooner or later about why he's choosing to move away from Ollie and into Steel of all places, but for now, it's just about the fun in decorating.
Dick and Kal help him move whatever is left that needs to be moved while Wally, bless his speed, sets up the tarp, the painter's tape and the paint. They're just getting ready to start when Hal and Dinah show up, Artemis in tow with them.
Roy puts on a record that he hasn't heard in years (it's on vinyl, that's how old it is) and when the others ask him what he's put on, he smiles and tells them, "Snowbird."
The decorating party goes as Roy expects it to: there's more paint of him, Dick, and Wally and on the tarps than on the walls. Artemis and Dinah are the mature ones, finishing their room quickly and efficiently. There's not a drop of paint on them. Even Hal and Kaldur manage to finish with minimal damages. It's the trio that has trouble with painting the walls.
"20 years old and with the mentality of a ten year old." Dinah comments as she and Artemis walk into the living room on the way to the kitchen for some drinks. The smile on her face tells Roy all he needs to know about her real thoughts and he smiles back.
"Hey, we got something done!" Wally protests, indignant.
"Yeah, each other. Blue doesn't really suit you or Roy as a skin color." Hal says off-handedly. "I thought this was an apartment decorating party, not a decorate each other party."
"Fine, fine. We'll finish." Roy grumbles, turning to continue the job properly with his two partners in crime.
It feels too soon that everyone has to leave and there are promises made to call and hang out, promises that they will be hard pressed to keep. It's a hazard of the life they choose to live.
"We need to talk." Artemis says curtly after everyone has left.
Roy quirks an eyebrow, but nods. He figures that Artemis needs to talk to him about Ollie or something about her archery. From what he's seen, she's good and there's not many pointers he can give-
"Are you dating my sister?"
He blinks. "Um, I'm not dating anyone." Maybe she's mistaken him for his clone; although with the significant differences in their arms, he wonders how that even possible.
"Let me rephrase: are you in a relationship with Jade Nguyen, the assassin known as Cheshire?"
The color drains from Roy's face. "Holy shit! You're Jade's sister?" He has to take a moment to let that sink in. "Wow, I did not see that coming. Er," he scratches the back of his head, "we're not in a relationship, per se-"
"Good," Artemis cuts him off, "word of advice: don't get in a relationship with her. It's the best for both of you. She's still my sister, crazy assassin and all, so I don't want to see her hurt."
"Protective, huh?"
Artemis gives him a dry look. "Let me put it this way: you hurt her, and you'll get seriously shafted."
As Artemis leaves, Roy doesn't bother to tell her that her fears are ungrounded. He hasn't seen Cheshire in a few months.
He keeps his breaths even and cam as he approaches the door, handgun grasped by his left hand (his robotic arm is always left at home when he's not Arsenal; it'd be too easy to connect Arsenal to Roy Harper otherwise). There's something, or someone, waiting for him behind that door and by the way his instincts are on high alert, he knows it's not friendly. Adrenaline rushes through his body and his blood roars in his ears as he mental prepares himself for a battle that may or may not occur the moment he kicks down that door.
On the count of three, Roy delivers a strong kick to the door near the lock, the structure's weak point and the object nearly breaks off the hinges. It clashes violently with his wall, but Roy is already in his apartment, his eyes marking his target, not allowing his surprise to register on his face as it rushes into him. Suddenly, the adrenaline is replaced by wariness and his eyes narrow at the person who stands before him. The trigger is tight under his finger and he keeps it ready to be pulled.
Jade Nguyen hasn't changed much since the last time Roy has seen her. Her black hair has grown longer, dropping in curls and waves that make her much more alluring than is safe, but her eyes and her smile are the same as ever: predatory. He refuses to drop his guard around her, and his muscles are tense as she gives him a curling smile, one that has won him to her bed many times, even in the midst of their arguments and their scrimmages. But, Roy notices this as he looks at her closely, there is something different about her, something…more mature. It isn't to say she was immature before, but Jade looks like she's gained knowledge, has been shown something and gained an understanding.
It hits Roy at that moment that Jade Nguyen is standing in his living room (if one could call it that in his shabby apartment). And while that shouldn't be a surprise, given their….unorthodox relationship, it is. Because Roy has never given her his name, given her a hint of who he is; all information about their private lives has been volunteered by her alone. It's a choice that he wonders why she made and that has him questioning her choices every day.
The surprise of the revelations flickers across his face, most especially in his eyes. It's brief, but it's enough for Jade to catch and she takes a step towards him. He takes a step back and narrows his eyes further, adding just a bit more pressure to the trigger to prove to her that he will pull it if need be. Her smile only widens and there's mirth dancing behind her eyes.
"Long time no see, Roy." His name rolls off her tongue like a subtle caress and he tries not to let it affect him. But he's still a man and she's been one of his best lays and not many women can compare to the fire and passion that Jade had ignited in him when they had sex. Her eyes focus solely on him with such intensity that Roy feels his body react and curses his hormones to the ends of the earth for that. Her nails drag slowly against the fabric of the couch as she takes slow and deliberate steps towards him and he's too frozen to his spot to do anything but keep eye contact. She pushes the gun away and trails her fingers up his chest, tantalizing slow but he refuses to make a sound. Her eyes pin him down with a different sort of fire. "You're a very difficult man to track down."
It's an accusation and Roy notices that her smile has tightened and lost any sort of sultry qualities. She's pissed and he's at a loss as to why. He quirks his eyebrow at her and clears his throat, not wanting to have audible proof the effect she has on him at the moment. "There's a reason for that. They're called secret identities for a reason." He retorts easily, his smile charming and beckoning.
Jade rolls her eyes and turns on her heels, throwing him an annoyed look over her shoulder. "All this secrecy is so…annoying. I trusted you with my identity; was it too much to ask for yours?"
"Yes." He replies without skipping a beat. "You're an assassin, Jade." He says as if that explains it all.
And really, it does. She knows it too, by the way she laughs softly and begins to trace patterns on his couch. "It wouldn't have mattered either way, if someone had hired me to assassinate you."
Ah. Roy nods and pulls up the gun again. "That why you're here?"
"Don't be silly. If I was here to kill you, you'd already be dead." She tuts her tongue in reprimand at him and pauses in her doodles. "I want to kill you. Every part of me has the right to." She resumes the doodles and focuses her gaze on the patterns her fingers are tracing. "You walked out on me without a single word, Roy. You stopped the game."
He blinks. "Jade, I-"
"Don't 'Jade' me!" She cuts him off viciously and her nail pierces the fabric of the furniture as her ire flares and her eyes burn. If she had heat vision, his couch would have already been reduced to ashes. "You walked out on my life and it hurt. More than I care to admit." She pauses again. "I didn't even feel hurt when Artemis turned her back on me and decided to go straight. So I couldn't fathom why it would hurt when someone like you, broken and lost and so easy to manipulate, could have this effect on me."
Part of him takes offense to that, but it's the truth, he guesses. Those first few months tracking her, he was still reeling from his new life, his new arm. And when he left her, it had been to deal with the drugs and Ollie and, to be honest; Jade hadn't crossed his mind until Artemis had brought her up at his apartment party. He still loves her, he knows, because seeing her here, despite her talk about killing him, awakens something in him.
"Jade," he tries again and her eyes snap up to meet his, anger and pain displayed so clearly in her eyes that it startles him. "Jade…I didn't mean to just leave you hanging. I-" Roy clears his throat because he doesn't like to talk to anyone about this particular road; it's been laid too freshly in his mind still, "I had to clear things up in my life. Drug problems."
The anger dulls slightly but she's still angry and hurt. He understands. Too well, he understands. She feels betrayed and left behind by someone she probably assumed cared for her. Given her family, Roy understands that his actions are magnified and have probably hurt her more than is normal.
"You still left me. You could have come to me for help, Roy." She whispers and the hate is back in her eyes, filling them so fast that he takes a step back in shock. "I could have helped you, I could have comforted you and guided you through this. I understood you when no one else did, when they saw you only as the shadow of your clone. I- I loved you." She hisses and her fingers dig another hole into the couch.
She moves faster than he expects and he's caught offguard by both her speed and her choice. He's on the ground under her and the gun has skidded away from him, out of his reach as she pins him to the ground, her face twisted in rage.
"I should kill you. I could kill you. I can't." Jade murmurs to herself more than him as she scrapes his chest, drawing blood to cause Roy to hiss. "But yet, I can't. You, Roy Harper, are my one weakness." Her eyes draw up to meet his. "I hate you for that, will forever hate you for that."
He swallows thickly and the tension stays in him as she pulls herself off him. "Is that the reason you came here? To tell me that?"
In an instant, Jade's demeanor changes. She looks frantic, suddenly and afraid. It strikes Roy as he stands because she looks like a woman lost, like of the women he sees hurrying home from work before the things that go bump in the night can catch her She looks, vulnerable. Hesitant, he steps forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. She tenses, but does nothing. It scares him how she changes between her emotions so quickly. "Jade?"
Her figure trembles and he prepares himself for any fight from her but she just takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, her trembles giving way to shudders before she is still. "I came here to ask, no, to demand a favor from you. Actually, it's more of your responsibility."
With that, she begins to stalk down to his bedroom, leaving Roy no choice but to follow her. She pauses at the closed door and gives him one last look, as if assessing him, but opens the door with a silence possessed only by her.
Roy sucks in a deep breath when he sees the sleeping figure on his bed. A baby. Curled and tucked in a blanket, deep asleep. He gives Jade a disbelieving look as she closes the distance between her and the infant, scooping the baby up in her eyes in movements that made it crystal clear to Roy that she had done this many times. And that look in her eyes….he realized with a start that this was Jade's child. Her child.
"You…you brought your child here?" He chokes out in a whisper.
She stiffens and nods once, her eyes on the bundle in her arms. But after a few beats of silence, she looks up at him. "Daughter, Roy….our daughter." She stumbles on the collective noun, but she recovers with a look that dares him to argue.
And he does want to. "Impossible." Is the first word out of his mouth and her eyes narrow again. He can't accept the fact that he has a daughter, that half of that little girl belongs to him. "She can't be my daughter!" He protests vehemently and backs up against the wall, eyes wide.
Jade rolls her eyes and stands, approaching him with the little girl in her arms. "It's not impossible, Roy. Think. When was the last time we saw each other and had sex?" She asks bluntly.
The answer hits him like a ton of bricks (and he knows how that feels like thanks to a mission a few weeks ago). "Almost nine months ago." He whispers. The memories of that night are a blur to him, but he can't deny that it has been almost nine months since he'd last slept with Jade. He should demand a paternity test, the rational side of him says, but the emotional side of his knows almost instinctively that that girl in Jade's arms is his. When she came closer to him, he caught a glimpse of the tiny bundle, the black hair and the sleeping form and something in him rose to claim her as his daughter.
"Roy." Jade's tone is all serious as his attention is captured by their daughter. "I didn't want to tell you about Lian." Lian, her name is Lian. "I hated you for what you did to me, for letting me love you that I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to keep you from her, never let you know about my pregnancy, let alone that fact that you had a daughter."
His blood runs cold at that and he wants to lash out at Jade for even considering that. Keeping his own child a secret from him would have been the worst mistake of her life.
"But," she continues, ignorant or ignoring the chill that swept over Roy, "I had no choice. She needs to stay her, with you." Her voice wavers slightly and Roy looks at her. "No one knows about her, at least, I don't think so. But…it's dangerous for me to try and raise her. I'm an assassin and I can't be a mother at the same time." She strokes Lian's cheek with a sad smile on her face. "I'm too dangerous, I have too many enemies. But you…you Roy, you're one of them. And they protect each other." She swallows thickly and looks up at Roy. There are tears in her eyes and Roy is dumbstruck. Jade doesn't show this type of emotion. Ever.
"You have to raise our daughter." She says quietly.
He's a father.
He's 20 year old and he's a father. His mind can't wrap around the concept of, Roy Harper, father. He can barely take care of himself and now he's been asked to take care of his daughter. It's beyond his comprehension and he has to tell someone. Needs to tell someone. He's shocked that he's kept this and the other bit of news that Cheshire dropped to him a secret for two weeks.
Roy calls Dick and Wally. Not Kaldur, because Kaldur has been out of sorts ever since the last mission. The Atlantean is emotionally unstable and Roy doesn't think he can handle the news that will be delivered. And he calls Artemis as an afterthought because, and the realization shocks him, Artemis is Lian's aunt. She deserves to know, if she doesn't already.
"You're a dad?" Wally repeats in disbelief and Roy shushes him.
"You'll wake her up, moron!" Roy hisses, listening intently for any signs of his daughter being roused from her slumber. Wally rolls his eyes but makes a mental note to keep his voice down.
"Are you sure that Cheshire isn't playing you?" Dick asks with all seriousness. Of course, always the rational one. Roy's impressed by the fact that they don't ask questions about his relationship with an assassin (though, seeing as they know it's Artemis' sister, that might soften the blow; and for Dick, knowing that Batman has a relationship with Catwoman might also help put things in perspective).
"She isn't." Artemis assures, glaring at Dick for even considering the possibility. "My sister may be an assassin, a heartless murder who would betray our dad in a heartbeat, but she's not this cruel." Her tone is final and she glares at the three men in the room.
"Okay, fine. Roy's a dad and his genes are shared by an assassin." Wally rolls his eyes. "This girl will be something to watch grow up." He jokes lightly and Roy throws a pillow at him. "All joking aside, are you really going to raise her?"
"Who else would there be?" Roy asks with a shrug.
Artemis exchanges looks with Dick and Wally. They beg her silently to be the one to state his options. "There's always Ollie, or Dinah. Hell, even my mom would be willing to raise her. Lian is her granddaughter, after all."
Roy waves his hand dismissively. "No, no. Ollie doesn't know a thing about raising children, look at me." He states with a hint of bitterness. "Dinah's too wrapped up in League things and the Young Justice. And no offense to you or your mother, but…look at your family."
"Offended." She points at him. "You had sex,still ew, with someone from my family, thank you very much. So what does that say about you?"
"That I should raise my daughter like her mother asked me to." Roy says evenly.
"I think Roy could do it." Dick agrees and Wally and Artemis glare at him. "What?"
"Excuse us." Artemis says and she and Wally drag the raven-haired boy away from Roy's hearing range. "Are you crazy?" She hisses.
"No offense, Dick, but Artemis' question is valid. Do you honestly think Roy can handle being a dad after everything?"
Dick levels them with an even look. "I think he deserves the chance to. Think about it: after everything he's been through, he deserves the chance to set himself right. His daughter could be that. All everyone's done since we've broken him out of his slumber is look down on him. He needs this more than he's going to admit."
"And if he screws up?" Artemis scowls. "That's my niece's future you're talking about jeopardizing!"
"Roy's going to make mistakes." Wally says matter of factly.
"Of course he is. All parents do." Dick tells them. "But Roy isn't going to 'screw up'. He won't let himself do that to her. She's his redeeming light right now. And he's her father. We can't deny him that right. Besides, Cheshire could have left Lian to her mom or Artemis. There's a reason she didn't." He reasons.
That effectively shuts down the conversation and the three return to the couch where Roy has been waiting patiently. "Well, glad to see that this is resolved." He grins cheekily at the grumbles from Artemis, the shrug from Wally and the smirk from Dick. "Now, I've got one more thing to tell you: Cheshire found out why Cadmus needed my whole arm essentially."
There's a stunned silence that prompts Roy to continue.
"To manufacture a clone like Red Arrow, they needed a massive amount of genetic data to even begin to have him look like me, or act like me. I think they perfected the process after my clone, but the amount of data it would require to even copy my makeup was insane. There was also the matter of mimicking the emotional aspects of my life; they could pick up my memories using the genomorphs, but the emotional part of me? A strand of DNA would only mimic part of that."
"Wait, why didn't they just stick to cloning you like they did Superboy?" Artemis asks.
"Because. Conner was made up of two halves. He's part Kryptonian and their DNA structure is different in some areas compared to a human." Wally realizes. "To develop Red Arrow as a mole, he needed to be a perfect replica of Roy Harper. Generating a complete clone from just a strand of DNA would have been impossible, even with the help of the genomorphs." He reasons and Roy smiles to himself at Wally's usually overlooked intelligence. "By using his arm, they'd have enough aspects of his DNA to create a full human that could and would age normally while still containing aspects of Roy's personality, if albeit a bit skewered due to his objectives."
"….and they would have done that to me, Wally and Kal that day we rescued Superboy." Dick realizes with a start.
"So Red Arrow is basically you?" Artemis clarifies. "Like we didn't know that already."
"It's not that simple. It-I-" Roy sighs and gives Wally a defeated smile. "You want to explain?"
"I'll try. Technically, Red Arrow is the exact replica of Roy. But…he's also not. See, our Roy," Wally smiles at his friend, "was normal as normal could be in our line of work. But Red Arrow had a different objective: to join the Justice League and infiltrate them for Vandal Savage. So they probably had to tweak some parts of his genetic code to make him a mole while keep him unaware. And then there's the matter of his shutdown codes." Wally shrugs. "So, essentially, they're almost like twin brothers because while they look the same, there are subtle variations in their DNA that are enough to distinguish them from one another. Do you have anything to eat?"
The two guys laugh while Artemis shakes her head.
Roy lets himself relax in the presence of these three. Now that others know about his daughter, he can breathe a bit easier (all three have volunteered to baby-sit should the need arise, as it will). All he needs to do is figure out how to drop the news to Dinah and Hal…and Ollie.
He's a dad. And he couldn't be more terrified and excited at the same time.
Steel City actually only exists in DCAU, specifically , only Teen Titans universe, but I pulled it from there because I thought it fit Roy really well.
Jade's revelation to Roy is totally different in the comics and she's a lot crazier there, so I toned it down majorly in here. I hope this was an okay chapter to you guys. Things are definitely slowing down now as we near the end. Just one or two more confrontations (including the one that everyone has been wanting, even me!) and then we're done! I don't think there's too much more angst in the last chapter (the sixth chapter is an epilogue, hint hint).
Oh and "Snowbirds" is an actual song: there are a couple renditions for it, so if you want to listen to it, drop me a message and I'll send you a link to the ones I like best ;D
Review?
.chary