The distance is spanned between you and I
Can I see you tonight?
When the pen in our hands and our best laid plans
Will stand alone on our side
-Best Laid Plans
"I'm sorry. I can't – ", Rachel slowly stepped away from Andrea, the girl she had been kissing for a good one quarter of a minute.
Andrea looked at her dumbly with her hand gripping the doorknob of her apartment. "But Rachel..". She sighed then nodded. "Do you want me to drive you home?"
Rachel's fingers were on her lips and carried a guilty expression, to whom, she's not exactly sure of. She shamelessly flirted with Andrea, ending their nightcap with a whisper of "I want to see your apartment". But she had been the one effectively putting a damper on what could have been a romp fest – something that she had been looking for ever since a friend texted her seeing Quinn with a "hot older woman" in an NYU-sponsored event.
How hot is hot and how old was old; she had to know details. Details that weren't necessarily important, Rachel scoffed. So the woman apparently was "extremely hot, about five years older, and was obviously so into Quinn", but her ex-girlfriend wasn't superficial and would never jump into someone else's bed for validation.
Oh. Wait.
Had Quinn been drinking? The answer was yes.
Not good. Definitely not good.
So she did the most sensible thing that she could think of. Call Kurt and open (and finish off) a bottle of wine, cry her heart out then come up with a plan.
There are several types of action plans. There is the long term, the medium and the short. The one thing she thought of, Kurt inevitably shot down and even cursed her to high heavens.
There is also a nice little thing called ad hoc.
So yes, she spotted the hottest girl at the Greenwich Treehouse the next friday (her gaydar was definitely working perfectly that night) and decided two can play the game.
Until she started losing.
She needed to get out of Andrea's apartment complex fast. "N-no, thank you, I—It was a mistake. I'm so, so sorry for leading you on." Rachel kept apologizing as she backed away and stepped inside the elevator. "I really am sorry."
Rachel let out a shaky breath then banged her head several times while chanting "stupid". Scampering away from the apartment building, the brunette subconsciously kept wiping off her lips with her hands. She felt dirty despite not actually doing anything.
"Rach? Come in" Quinn propped her upper body using an elbow and turned her head a bit to see Rachel walk in her room.
"How did you know it was me?", the brunette smirked. After closing the door, she took off her shoes and climbed into the bed.
"Oh, I don't know. My Rachel Berry detection device went off.", Quinn retorted in a rather bored tone. She tried to ignore the diva's presence beside her and flipped the pages of the book she was reading. Rachel tried to peep through the blonde's shoulder. "What're you reading?"
Quinn swallowed thickly the moment Rachel's warm breath touched a part of her jaw and tried to ignore the pain coming from her leg for what occurred to Quinn as a bad position. She couldn't turn around immediately because of how dangerously close their lips were with each other.
They had been…Quinn wasn't sure exactly what they have been doing. They held hands, texted each other like the world depended on it and spent so much time cuddling while watching The Animal Planet. They've gone out and ate at the coziest restaurants (mostly Rachel's choice), conversed through Twitter (Rachel made one for her) and Facebook which annoyed Santana so much for "filling up her timeline with junk and they should just move on to sexting." Quinn often questioned if friends normally do this. It wasn't like she was popular in grade school, nor did she spend her time getting handsy with Santana or Brittany. So contrary to common misconception, she actually felt quite awkward when dealing with friends. However, she was more than certain that whatever it was that's happening between her and Rachel, it didn't fit snuggly in the friends-only category.
Rachel said she wanted her to be the sensible person in her life. Quinn even concluded that they were moving on to something deeper. But weeks after that incident, nothing really happened. The blonde was too petrified to even open a line of communication leading towards that. Something had to happen. But she dishonorably passed the ball to Rachel's side of the court.
Rachel's heart beat widely and she was pretty sure Quinn could hear it. Why Quinn hasn't made a single move to give any indication that she was remotely interested in some form of romantic entanglement baffled the petite diva. Quinn Fabray was the former so-called Head Bitch in Charge, but none of the required qualities to earn that position were showing. They have a few months left before the school year ends and Rachel Berry needed to know where the blonde would stand in her life. She can't take grey areas especially when it comes to her relationships. It was time, Rachel knew with absolute conviction. Her decision to drape an arm around Quinn's waist resulted to two things: she found herself pressed against the length of blonde's back and that when Quinn turned her head around and breathed out "The Book Thief", the brunette kissed the former Cheerios without hesitation.
It wasn't a function of physical difference. Sure, it was nice to taste strawberry lip gloss on soft lips. But more than that, Quinn knew how to kiss. She was confident without being overbearing, switched from being dominant to being dominated at the right moments. And when she dragged her teeth slowly over the brunette's bottom lip then grazed their lips together teasingly, Rachel figured out one of life's greatest mysteries: why the boys loved kissing Quinn; why Finn saw fireworks, why Sam always had a dreamy look on his face, and why Puck continues to pine over her despite repeated rejections.
"Rachel." Quinn whispered then followed Rachel's movement when she leant back like the blonde was being pulled by a magnet. If only her knee was working perfectly, she would have been absolutely in charge, but Rachel kissing and being half on top of her, carefully avoiding her leg while pawing like a kitten on her chest, wasn't bad at all. In fact, she had decided right then and there, this was her favorite thing in the world.
Rachel jolted a bit when she felt her phone vibrate inside her pant pocket. She scrambled to retrieve it while navigating her way back to her home and had to rub her eyes violently upon seeing Quinn's name flashing on the screen. "H-hello?"
"Rachel?"
There was always something about the way Quinn said her name and that moment wasn't an exception. Rachel stopped from her tracks and stood aside to avoid blocking other people. "Quinn.." She pressed the phone to her ear as close as possible and tried to figure out where Quinn was. The acoustic was very ambient with a few hushed voices surrounding it.
"How are you?
"I – " Rachel breathed deeply and leaned against the wall for support. "I've seen better days to be perfectly honest"
She heard Quinn chuckle softly on the other end. "What's the point if we're not completely honest with each other, right?"
Whether the blonde was simply responding to what she just said or was referencing something else didn't matter. It stung anyway and she felt like shedding fresh tears. After a few seconds of silence, Quinn realized the folly of her statement and began talking again. "So, listen. I'm here at Beanocchio, you remember? The coffee shop near Lycée Français."
"Yes, I remember that place", Rachel said quietly. If there is one area you'd find Quinn if you were looking, that would be Yorkville.
"If you're still out? I mean, I'm guessing you're out because it's a Friday night. I thought we can have coffee and maybe…talk". Rachel held her breath and deliberated on the wisdom of seeing Quinn right now. "It's been awhile and… and I miss you, Rach. I really do.", Quinn added knowing full well that her ex-girlfriend's mind was spinning with all sorts of possible scenarios in her head right at that very moment.
They haven't seen nor spoken to each other in barely two months. But for both girls, that's an eternity. Meeting up could turn all sorts of ugly, but the calm and warm tone Quinn used was enough to placate any misgivings on Rachel's part. "Okay, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. And..I miss you, too."
Rachel arrived and found Quinn at the farthest corner of the establishment browsing through what Rachel surmised as the latest electronic reading device. When she had a clearer view of Quinn, she couldn't help but smile to herself as she surveyed the blonde's look. The baby doll dresses were left in Lima and had been exchanged with either an Upper East Side Prep look or fully embracing a bohemian sense of fashion. You can sense what Quinn is up to depending on what she wore. And tonight, she was most likely reading for her majors. The blonde sported the Alexander Wang Beanie Rachel gave her on her last birthday, eyeglasses on, 3-button jacket and – oh. Rachel's eyes widened after realizing that Quinn was staring back at her with an amused expression.
"Hey, you", Quinn smiled. "Were you willing me to feel your presence?"
Rachel smiled back and sat down without waiting for Quinn's signal. "Did it work?"
"Kind of", Quinn chuckled. "What do you feel like having? My treat"
"I'm in the mood to be a little adventurous. I think I'll have their Café du Monde Latte", she said after stretching her neck out and read the menu above the counter.
The blonde nodded and stood up, allowing Rachel to perversely stare at her behind. The diva was objectifying her ex-girlfriend and wasn't at all ashamed of it. She thanked her lucky stars for backing out earlier to a one-night stand and considered this as a providential decision. She wasn't expecting reconciliation; she knows she won't be that lucky. She wasn't expecting anything, but just a sign that Quinn had not totally closed herself up. And if the first few minutes of their interaction were any indication, there might still be a chance somehow, sometime soon.
Quinn returned with two cups of coffee and carefully placed them on the table before sitting down. "I wanted to share some good news to you.", Quinn beamed. Rachel straightened up and flashed her mega-watt smile. You know, the one that is anticipating a not-so-really-good-news in relation to her. She was pretty sure, for some reason, it had something to do with that hot older woman who shall forever remain nameless in Rachel's life.
"One of my papers in my sociology class was submitted to an international student conference in Bejing. I'm going to deliver my paper two months from now.", Quinn enthusiastically explained then bit her lip as if stopping herself from getting too excited over a major accomplishment.
Rachel's eyes were wide and her mouth agape. "Quinn, that's..that's amazing. I'm so proud and happy for you."
"I'll get to see the Great Wall, Rachel", the blonde said as she bounced a little from her seat. "And the Forbidden Palace, and the Tiananmen Square and.. and oh god, I hope I would have enough time to go see the Pandas.", she frowned slightly.
"Uh, Quinn? You're suppose to attend a conference, remember?", Rachel giggled.
Quinn scrunched her nose and stuck out her tongue. "Yeahhh but how many times would I get to be in China? I don't imagine it will be a lot. So I need to make the most out of it. While the school is still paying for my travel expenses anyway."
"Okay, okay", Rachel laughed then raised her hands up. "Don't come to me crying if they found out you turned this into a junket"
Quinn's smile grew wider then laughed. It had been a long time since Rachel saw that smile and it felt so good. They fell into a familiar sense of companionship during the next few hours inside the coffee shop. Nothing about their failed relationship was brought up. There was a time and place for that, and that night wasn't for it.
There was an unspoken rule that evening. Both carefully navigated their conversation to extremely safe zones and updated about their lives as if they had been separate from the beginning. It hurt a bit, but Rachel's determination to make things right with Quinn held a stronger place in her mind and heart.
Right then and there, she knew this was a good place to start.
A/N: My next updates will be more focused on the reasons for the break up. Just for you to have an idea, in my mind, everything is a slow build up of disappointments and miscommunication – which for me are more crucial than Rachel's guilt-driven decision. I must tread carefully, so please forgive me if I take my time updating.
A/N 2: Once again, thank you so much for the alerts, favorites and reviews/comments. Keep 'em coming if you're in the mood. I really love reading your opinions about the protagonists' behaviors, decisions and dispositions.