Cygnus's POV:

Pale blue with small puffy clouds scattered randomly across the everlasting sky. Rustling greenery that carried the scent of freshness through the grass around me. Everlasting blackness with mental images fading in and out of things I wanted to remember and of things I wish I could forget behind my eyelids. These were the only things I had seen for the last hour or two. Usually, I would think as I stared at nature, but for once, my mind had no words. Since I was quite sure that I had long lost my sanity, I didn't fight the horrifying thoughts that arose when I closed my eyes, even just to blink. Small flashes of disaster, blood, anger, violence, and death that had always been imprinted in my mind now came forth to attack.

To explain this, I first need to explain what happened earlier, or yesterday, rather, and then how my brain functions.

First: what happened yesterday was (to say the least) the happiest day of my life. Never had I expected that sweet lips would meet mine anytime soon, or that they would belong to a friend, or that I would actually enjoy it so much. After such an event, I was actually really happy for once. My mind had wondered on the future; what would happen between us now? Would he show up ever again? Was he really the person I thought him to be? Could we still share fun moments together and let ourselves feel free? They were lovely thoughts to occupy my mischievous mind for a while.

Then: I went to sleep with thoughts of sugar plums dancing in my head (not really, just a figure of speech). However, this was a horrible mistake. My mind has been trained to take away any single good thing that I have and replace it with something god-awful. So of course, I awoke with sweat dripping down my face, hair plastered to my skull, tears in my eyes, and a wonderful picture of my identity being revealed and Hyden on a stake being sacrificed to the Ministry of blood-thirsty murders (while it may seem like I'm making the Ministry out to be something it's not, that is not the case; that is actually what happened in my dream). And after numbing myself to the point I am at currently, I still am haunted with various, random tortures.

I blink, and for a slit second Hyden is there. He was wearing a dark cloak with one sleeve completely missing. I could hardly see his face through the shadow casted by the hood he wore, but blood seeped from his bottom lip because he was biting it, and his eyes were shut as tight as possible as a familiar deep green and black glow painfully seeped into the pores of his skin and planted itself there permanently. The process had been halfway finished, and just above the smoke and light given off, I could see the top of a black skull tattoo, and knew that an all too familiar snake would eventually protrude out of its mouth. I open my eyes, and the image is gone from sight, but not from memory.

A bright circle that my eyes cannot see directly in a field of pale blue and white cotton candy clouds that are transparent enough to see a small bit of sky but solid enough to have depth. Blades of grass breathing in the breeze and whistling into my ears quietly. The sweet smell of oxygen inhaled into my lungs like a natural calming draught. My eyes burn from being open too long, and still I try my hardest to keep my eyes open. They start to water, and I figure a few more seconds before they are replenished and I no longer need to blink. Involuntarily, my vision is filled with black and I see a pool of red, a knife in a pale hand clutching a large dagger while its brother clutches the figures waist. A loud cough and a splatter of new blood appears upon the darkness. The head rises shakily to meet my eyes and I see Hyden's warm brown orbs in pain; his very soul tortured.

And open again to bright, beautiful day.

This sort of thing was actually very common. I have no other way to explain it other than to say I am a self-torturing machine wired to only attack when life is at its best. Everything that harms me is completely self-inflicted. Just when I think life may have a purpose and be worth living, a way is always found to bring me back down into the fire chamber for more scars. I dream of what I cannot have, or of what I subconsciously will not allow myself to have. Every moment of pain is realizing that I do not live in reality any longer, and that I never can again, simply confined to my own dark, lonely world. There is only temporary success in my life, which always ends in failure or disappointment.

I try to keep myself inside myself with a collection of genuine masks. Surrounded with thoughts of blood and hatred and death every living moment of my life, never really sure that I had ever truly been loved. A tall dark figure in the corner of my vision, holding a small candle to light the darkness. He whispers to me, calling my name, asking for help, emotion in his voice. A bolt of lightning that matched the color of the grass around me lit up my world; it shook and turned, and flipped my world. A figure on the floor, perfectly unharmed, candle on the floor of darkness no longer lit, no breath but my own, slicing silence in my ears, an empty, lonely world.

My eyes opened to the same, pale blue sky with puffy clouds and bright green grass in perfect health, sun shining as bright as ever. Warm tears slid down my face, dripping onto the blades of the field. That was more than a blink.

Had I fallen asleep? Was I even tired? It had seemed like hours had passed, but truly, nothing had changed.

Bloody fuck, I really needed to get a hold of myself. I was really starting to lose it, and I barely had anything in the first place.

I wiped my tears and sat up in the grassy field. I ran a calming hand through my hair, only to get my ring caught on a tangled strand. I pulled, with large pain to my scalp and unsuccessful. Sighing, I attempted to untangle the ring and my lovely hair, succeeding enough to pull only a few strands from my head and getting the ring free.

Stupid ring…destroying my perfectly styled bedhead. I rubbed my head where the ring had pulled, still a bit sore. I stood up and decided to change clothes. I felt absolutely disgusting after all that sweating and crying and emotional bogus.

A quick cleaning charm never quite felt as great as a shower, but it still beat filth. I changed my clothes and proceeded to sit once more in the dented spot in the grass I always sat in. I called it my "sitting spot", since it was the only patch of grass that I could see the dirt through. Ever since I was younger, I had always chosen that spot to sit in. I don't quite remember how I marked it at first, but after a while, the grass faded away to just the plain, comfortable earth below. Since it had been a while since my last visits (before my more recent one or two), the grass had grown back slightly, but was obviously behind the rest of the field. I had left a permanent mark on this field, and it had left a permanent mark on me.

Nothing was more enjoyable than sitting alone outside in a field where I had actually enjoyed throughout my childhood. Honestly. Well, there were a few exceptions that came to mind, but the field sure as fuck beat the Manor. Even though I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, looking around at nature really eased my mind in the most stressed of places. Of course, I did also have my own forms of stress relief to add when needed.

I headed to my bag, grabbed a handful and a half of my marbles, and went back to my Sitting Spot. I arranged them in a line in front of me in order of ranking: first the grey one, then red, the two black ones, and finally the three greens. While I very much had not liked the colors of the marbles, they were still marbles. I placed one of each color into my palm, green, grey, red, and black, and let them float freely just above my hand. I moved my hand so that my palm was down, almost as if the marbles should suddenly fall to the ground, but still gravity did not affect them. They still floated in midair, slightly bobbing from side to side as if anxious to see what glorious trick I will attempt this time.

Make a pyramid, I willed them all, even the ones on the ground before me. I knew there was one too many to make a perfect pyramid, and so I awaited their outcome.

The marbles had a mind of their own. The three green ones laid themselves as the base, with the two black above them, and the grey one on top. Floating just barely above the grey one was the red marble, looming and triumphing over all marbles as if it were supreme. I gave no specification as to where the marbles were to go specifically. I had learned that they arrange themselves how they want. And every time, it was always the same. The hierarchy was no oddity; I knew that the Dark Lord had possessed them for a second or two long enough to charm them. It was, however, the pure fact that a charm could last past a castor's death and still keep the same configuration.

In my hands (or more in the air above my hands), I held probably the only surviving objects that had been tainted by the Dark Lord. About 99.99% of the objects had been destroyed or "cleansed" that had been in his possession, or that he had given to another, or that had ever been near him at any point in his life; the manor had been "cleansed" thoroughly as well, every last room down to the cobwebs in the corners, right before our trials. They had asked us to leave and take only the clothes we had been wearing and to leave everything else. My marbles had been in my school bag, and so I had taken them without meaning to. And now…here they were, putting on a play about the life of the once living Dark Lord.

"The green ones can represent your family. Your father, your mother, and you. The black ones will represent your loyalty to me. Your father and you, in the future. This grey one here is me. And when there is a grey one, it must always be accompanied with red…"

A twisting tornado with a grey eye and red, green, and black twisting around it so wildly; a center of red and grey with black and green orbiting the center like an atom of life. The marbles spun so fast, the colors blurred together while the grey and red stood perfectly still. Green blur and black blur encircling the nucleus, gaining speed, gaining acceleration, just faster and faster they went, no longer even holding the spherical shape of marbles, just a whirl of colors. And then they stopped. Before I willed them to. In the place of two black marbles and three green ones now were two large rings: a large green one and a smaller black one. In the middle, there was no longer a grey and a red, but rather a much larger grey one with speckled red throughout the inside, almost as if the red one had melted and then been eaten by the grey one.

I was startled enough by the reshaping of my marbles, but then a large crack disrupted my usually quiet field. Without looking up just yet, I moved my marble and rings into my pants pocket to avoid explanation.

"Hi…"

My eyes looked up and met his smooth chocolate ones.

"Hey." I smiled but made no effort to move from my Sitting Spot. I might like him, but my visions were farthest from becoming my reality if I stayed farther away. Who knows when my mind could slip into the real world?

"How…uh…how are you?" he surveyed the grassy field, looking anywhere but at me.

"Good," I said; which was a lie, of course. I was very far from good. "How are you?"

He smiled and met my gaze. "Brilliant, thanks."

Our eyes were like marbles. Color so lovely with a shiny look to them, and round. His marbles were like nothing I had ever gazed at before. They were so expressive all by themselves, no need for facial expressions. His life was happy, and his personality warm, and he looked to comfort. Nowhere in the hierarchy were ever such marbles before. All I knew was grey, and red, and black, and green. Here and now, I had been given an earthly brown, and no clue what to do with them but stare. I could only imagine that my eyes matched the grey marble I already had; so absent of color, pale, and dull to the other bright colors. And yet, Hyden saw different marbles in my eyes. I hardly remembered what color eyes my ring had given me…

"Please, come sit." I patted the grass next to my spot. If I was lucky enough, the grass would soon wear to the earth there, too. He sat and crossed his legs (like we used to say in school, "tailor fashion" or "crisscross applesauce"). We sat for just a moment in silence, enjoying each other's presence, before I spoke up again. "I used to have seven marbles."

Hyden looked at me for a moment. I pulled the rings and marble out of my pocket and showed him.

"I used to have seven marbles, but now I have two rings and a huge marble. I don't know what happened, really…"

He picked up the large green ring from my hand and put it up to his face, looking through it to me. "I highly doubt that marbles have a huge hole right through the middle." He smiled.

I smiled, too. Something about having him here made me feel odd. I hadn't said one intelligible thing so far.

Usually all I say is intelligible... I really hoped that I hadn't gone too crazy just yet.

"You might have a problem with your marbles. Just maybe."

I let out a small giggle. "It's good that I haven't lost my marbles."

"Very true." He laughs.

I smile and for a millisecond, my eyes close. The world goes black and before me is Hyden, perfectly unharmed. Then a flash of light and he's sitting on the floor, perfectly unharmed, even smiling at me. Another flash and he's lying on the ground, in a pool of blood, red tears pouring from his eyes, a look of panic where once had been happiness. He opens his mouth to speak and all that escapes is blood, a new pool formed in front of him. He looks up at me with pleading eyes. One more flash. His head is on the floor, lifeless, pale with death, a large contrast to the scarlet blood that surrounded him. Flash. He was gone, and all that was left was his blood in a large pool, with a large imprint where his body had been and words written in red that said "why didn't you help me when you could?" against the darkness of my eyelids.

My eyes open. My happy expression was far gone. Hyden was still smiling, staring out into the grassy field and enjoying the day. All that I had witnessed. It had all happened in a second. And I was dragged back to reality. Before I could even gather my bearings. Split between fantasy and reality. Never sure of when one or the other was in control of my well-being at the current moment.

"I can see why you like it here so much. The view is lovely."

I nodded, still very sobered. "I've been coming here ever since I was young."

He glanced over to me and said, "When you were young?"

"Yes."

"Not when you were a child. When you were young…"

"Precisely."

He looked to the ground, a half-smile on his face. "You didn't have much of a childhood then, too?"

I sighed. "I'm afraid not. My parents were focused on me growing up to be the perfect son they always wanted."

He nodded, but said nothing. His facial expression had sobered as well (but I doubt he had the same reasons as I).

"It's odd," he started, and continued on, "how you can be young but not be a child. Usually the words are used interchangeably, one and the same."

"They have different feelings to them. To be a child is to play and experience the world around you in an enjoyable manner. To be young is just a relative age area. Everyone is young at some point in their lives, but not everyone is a child."

"Agreed."

That was simply it.

The lovely pale blue sky drew his attention more than ever. He was tense, like he was stressing about what he should do. While I wanted to ease his tension, I did not want to go near him. I wasn't sure if my mind could leak his death into the real world, but I most certainly did not want to find out. As much as I wanted to grab his hand and run about the field, I would not. As much as I wanted to hug him and tell him that he could relax, I would not. As much as I wanted, I would not do. Instead, we sat.

"It's okay," I said to him. He looked to me, but I answered before he could say anything in response. "There's no need to be tense. Nothing to worry about." I offered a small smile to him, which he returned with a warm, heart-stopping grin.

"You don't know that for sure," he said after a moment of nothing.

That was absolutely depressing. Not that I was the happiest person alive, but the fact that I told him there was nothing to worry about and he said that I couldn't know for sure just made me sad. I thought for a few long seconds, trying with all my might to say something intelligible back that would both make him feel better and make me feel smart again. It took a bit, but I finally decided.

"There's a reason I come here. Honestly, I just…dislike everything about a previous life I've lived. I come here and pretend that I can live an entirely new life without any interference. This field is sort of like a peace between me and Life, and I know every time I'm here, I don't have anything to worry about." I looked to him, our eyes met, a silent message passed. "I just wanted to extend that to you. If you need a peace with Life, by all means, this field is big enough for two." The corner of my lips raised in a half-grin.

He nodded and looked to the blades of grass between us, then back to me. "Thank you."

I smiled and remembered something, long and lost in the depths of my memories as a young Draco. I grabbed Hyden's hand and pulled us both up. I looked around the field, finding just what I was looking for toward the west and proceeded to walk in that general direction. Before he could ask what was going on, I started a story.

"Once upon a time, I had run away from home one summer between second and third year. I had really only been gone a few hours before I got hungry and decided to go back home, but in the few hours that I had been gone, I decided to make a secret world of my own. It took so long to make, I didn't even finish it that day. I had to come back for the rest of the week to finish it completely, and it required a lot of upkeep for a while, but when it was finished... A few people know about this field, but only I know about this."

I reached the patch of questionable, slightly brown grass that stood apart from the bright green grass of the rest of the field. It had been a side effect of the spell I had used from this one book I had found long ago in our library. Usually, I would use my wand to open it up, but I had no wand. I stepped around the patch a bit, trying to find a soft piece of earth. I found it and stomped hard on it (really, I felt like a child throwing a tantrum).

The Earth gave way below me, but I managed to step on solid ground before both feet tumbled below. I dug around the hole to make it big enough for us to climb through. I gestured for him to go first. He slid down, disappearing below the ground with a confused look on his face. I slid right after him, emerging into my still perfect world that I had made. Why I hadn't remembered it before was beyond me. I could have taken a real bath this morning if I had.

It was a rather large alcove for being underground. A forest of great trees outlined the alcove, so thick it was impossible to see anything but more trees. Hyden, still confused, stared at his feet as a green circle lit underneath them, and then another just in front of him, and more before him, creating a pathway through the trees. It was rather dim in this part of the alcove due to the shady trees, but light would come.

"This way," I told him, and proceeded to lead the way, one lighted green circle after another. We walked for no more than a minute before the trees began to clear and made way for the center, the main part of the alcove.

A small lake (big enough to fit one baby whale comfortably inside) lay just where I left it. Bright beams of sunlight poured in from hidden holes farther into the field, casting light onto the lake and sending glittering reflections of water around to dance along the forest edge. Surrounding the lake was green grass, just like the field above us held. I took a seat near the edge of the lake, and he followed my lead.

I might love him.

Possibly. Would I ever really know for sure anytime soon? Of course not, but that didn't matter much. There were, fortunately, things that did matter in my life; for example, this wonderfully caring and absolutely incredible man that sat before me, talking about something. Oh, I thought, maybe I should listen.

He sighed.

"You know, this is actually very nice. I love the trees, and how the sun hits the water and makes everything glitter perfectly."

I smiled. "Glad my choice of scenery suits your tastes."

I pretended to look out to the water of the lake, but really, my eyes kept on him. How could I look away? Nature was nature; I could look at it anytime I wanted, but this was a view I didn't want to miss for the entire world. People, I had learned over the years, could be a more rare sight than even one-in-a-lifetime events. And just when you think there is no possible way they could do anything but be viewable, they become untouchable. Like someone I knew, and still loved but wished I didn't.

"You know, I used to not care much about nature. From my window, I would look outside and think to myself 'how lovely it would be to be so far from where I am now', but I never bothered to take the time to actually sit and look around."

"Why not?" I pondered out loud.

"Well, I was focused on other things back then." He paused a second. "Homework. Friends. Things like that." A strange look came onto his expression for just a moment before it disappeared and a smile replaced it. "I'm glad I get to enjoy it with you."

My heart fluttered, and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought my face had turned bright red.

"I…I'm glad, too."

Don't get too close…you can't let anything happen. He's already inside your head… I told myself.

Weak…it was my father's voice inside my head. Weak…

He gave me a warm smile and looked right at me. He had such dark brown eyes, but they felt so oddly bright when they met mine, like they should be shades lighter to match.

"Please excuse me if you don't feel the same, but I have tell you how I feel. You're quite…amazing, and I can't think of anything that would make me happier than if you would go on a date with me."

Either the world stopped moving or I stopped breathing for a moment or two. I was in a sense of surprise. Had he actually just said that?

Where on earth had that come from? But mostly, I didn't care; I was just joyed that it had occurred. When I got my bearings back, I finally found words.

"Yes... yes of course"

If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. But of course, it couldn't be a dream. I only have nightmares.

He sat there a moment, a pleasant grin on his face and chocolate eyes towards the lake, of which light reflected off and sent such lovely specks of glimmer onto them. After a period of silence, he finally replied "Are you free tomorrow? After two, maybe?"

Tomorrow…I thought, dreamily. "Yes, that sounds perfect."

"Then I'll meet you in the field at two. We can walk to this lovely place I know…" he sighed in content. Looking over to me, he placed his hand over mine. If anything, I grew two shades redder. He opened his mouth to say something else, but must have thought better of it, and closed it.

One would think after such a life of hurt, pain, and suffering that I've had, I would think twice before tossing one's self head-first into a romantic relationship. I couldn't afford to let this one good thing in my life get away, or worse, let myself hurt him. I don't know what I would do.

What if I screw up? Or what if I call him Harry by accident? It was a smart move, in my mind, to say nothing else, but an awful, torturous move in my heart.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He had already gotten up, and was waiting for me to bid him farewell.

"See you then, I suppose."

He twisted and disapparated, leaving behind a happy feeling that would get me through the rest of my night, no matter how awful it could possibly be.

I had someone else now.

Harry's POV:

I was so relieved. There was a moment right after I asked him out on our date where I was afraid he would say no. I could almost feel the world start to crumble beneath my feet, and feel the dread of silence eat away at my soul in anticipation, but his response was more than the simple "yes" or "no" I had expected. It was ever the slightest hint that he might actually feel the same way I feel for him, but I wouldn't take the giant leap it would be to tell him I loved him. It was much too soon to do anything of that nature. Daring and courageous Gryffindor I might be, but I wanted to do anything but ruin his one chance I may have.

Back in my room inside Hogwarts, I took off my ring and set it on the bedside table. It seemed so wrong to pretend to be someone else. I obviously couldn't keep it up forever if I plan to have a serious relationship with someone. Cygnus would need to know sooner or later, and it may not be the easiest thing to do.

"I love you more than anything else in the world, Cygnus. Oh, and by the way, I've been lying to you ever since we met. I'm actually the famous Harry Potter in disguise. Hope that doesn't change anything between us. Alright, good." That would go well. (Or not.)

I lay down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. It was a rather plain peach color, almost as if the sand of a beach had been there, and then blurred together to form one solid, texture-less color. It was nothing compared to the beautiful blue that my eyes had been enjoying for the past hour.

It suddenly occurred to me that I had spent most of our time together in the field, and when he finally showed me his hidden alcove, I had left almost as soon as we had arrived.

Merlin, he must think I'm so insensitive! I sighed in frustration and covered my face with my hands. Why am I so oblivious?

In the middle of my frustrations, a loud tap at my window interrupted. I stood and opened my window to see an owl present me with a note tied to its leg. I had not seen this owl before, but it looked rather like Professor McGonagall if her Animagus was an owl rather than a cat. Right when I had just freed the letter from the owl's leg, it took off. Obviously, it did not want me to reply.

I sat down in the only chair I had in my room, and read my letter.

Of most urgent notice to dear Mr. Potter,
We have gotten word from a girl whom had stated she has an important item of yours. She has required many things upon its return that shall be discussed in my office, and my office alone. We ask that you visit my office immediately for said discussion.

All due respect,
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Minister of Magic

I was missing something? Someone stole something important?A girl? Immediately, I thought of that girl who attacked me at the celebration.

Did she take something? Did I have anything with me? I had my wand. I know I had been having a lot of frustration that morning with my clothes. I couldn't have brought anything too important. Plus I hadn't noticed anything missing. It couldn't be too important then. What else did I take?I sighed. I guess I'll only find out when I go.

I quickly took off my ring, whipped out my wand, and disapparated to the Ministry of Magic.

3rd Person POV:

Harry arrived at the door of the Minister of Magic, and cautiously opened it. He knew that the Minister had asked for his immediate presence in his office, but he still couldn't be sure that the Minister just wanted him to barge in.

"Mr. Potter, we have important issues to discuss. Please, sit." The Minister smiled and gestured to the chair.

Harry went in and sat. He never felt uncomfortable having a Minister of Magic that had been in the Order of the Phoenix, but for some odd reason, talking about crazy fan girls was not a typical discussion one wanted to have with…well, anyone.

"I trust you have gotten my message."

"Yes. That girl at the celebration, who ran after me and took a bit of my hair, I don't know what she took, but I haven't noticed anything missing."

The Minister nodded. "That is good. I am glad that she has not taken anything of importance to you. Do you think she is bluffing?"

"Uh, I have no idea." Harry scratched his head, thinking. "She could be…but I'm not so sure. She has to have something to…uh…what does she want again?"

The Minister cleared his throat and picked up a piece of parchment from his desk, reading from it.

"In return for Harry Potter's item of significance, I would like a personal, private meeting with him in a secluded area, of his choice. Harry may then kiss me if he wishes, or never see his precious item again. He must also be willing to tell the world about our kiss and pose publicly for a magazine/newspaper."

"Oh," was all Harry could get out. He was…flattered?...that a girl would steal something from him so she could kiss him, but…how would he tell her that he was gay?

"Do you have any idea at all what she could have taken that is generally considered important?"

"I can't think of anything really…" Harry trailed off as he came to a realization. "My wallet! I don't think I took it home with me, but I remember taking it." He pulled his wand out of his back pocket and cast "Accio wallet."

There was a loud, high-pitched scream from outside of the Minister's office. A few seconds later, the Secretary opened the door, and through it flew Harry's wallet directly to him. An aggravated yell, and then the girl from the celebration came through the door.

"You were supposed to negotiate for it! I want my kiss!"

The Minister stood to calm her, but Harry stood as well. He walked over to the girl, who stood motion-less with a blank expression, eyes trained on his face with only brief pauses to glance at his lips. Harry stood in front of the girl, and she did not dare make a move.

"I'm so sorry that you missed the news, but I'm actually gay. Sorry about the confusion."

Harry walked right past the girl, who stood confused, looking at the Minister, who tried with all him might to not smile at Harry's…honesty? Confidence? Maybe even bluff. He wasn't sure, but he didn't really care. The girl however…

"He's gay?" Her shoulders drooped, as did her hopes.

"Yes. And, I'm afraid you must go back to work without a kiss." The Minister sat down once more and continued his paperwork.

The girl huffed and left the room dragging her feet.

Soon enough, thought to the Minister, I'll find an alternative to all this paperwork. Currently, he was signing a file about the Auror department. They apparently were having difficulties with a current worker who kept skipping. Attached at the bottom were the workers excuse notices. There were 5 total.

"Celebration," the Minister read the first slip, then the next. "Event?" and the next, "Planning? Planning what?" The last two were blank on the reasons. The Minster sighed and flicked his wrist where a small ghostly Lynx shot out to deliver a message to the Auror department to arrange a meeting between the Head of the Auror department, the unruly co-worker, and himself.