Chapter Eight

Pastor Nick, Dimo, Nifa, and Keiji

"Just end it for him, please," Dina muttered, watching as Pastor Nick's fingernails were ripped off each other, one at a time. "I'm sorry…I can't look away. They did that to me too."

Carla eyed her. "I am so sorry."

"I can't look away," she repeated. "I wish – I wish there was a way to let him know that someone is watching with him."

"We can when he arrives," Kuchel said sadly, gripping the hands of the other two mothers. Finally, mothers who knew the pain of leaving your young child, of constant fear for their safety.

"I thought death would free me from torture," Kruger said to Grisha a few yards away. "Instead I just see more of it." Perhaps it suited him.

"I can't believe I wanted to work for the government," said Marco, wiping his eyes.

"I can, because you wanted to do good." Faye smiled at Marco. He forced a weak smile in response.

Faye felt everything, of course. But, though she didn't speak as confidently as Nanaba, her outlook seemed to declare that everything would be okay, and Marco, for one, was grateful for her constant presence.

"If I'd stayed, I'd have joined the Survey Corps," he said again.

"We'd have loved to have you," Petra said from behind him.

"We'd also have loved to participate in taking down this bullshit government," grunted Gunther. He winced. "Am I allowed to swear?"

"I think," said the Person, as if they'd been listening, because of course they had, and feeling too, "I care more about your heart."

Blow after blow after blow, and all Nick could dream about was death. Maria…Rose…Sina…receive me.

His last thoughts must be the goddesses, but still, his family's faces drifted before him. And then the faces charred before him, burned to death while he passed out from alcohol – no, the goddesses had forgiven him. He'd been forgiven by the goddesses, and even if he wanted his family's forgiveness, they had no power to change his fate. Only the goddesses could.

Maria…Rose…Sina… He'd long dreamed they would be his last thoughts, and he'd recite them to himself if need be, until the final blow.

Maria…Rose…Sina…Maria…Rose…Sina…Maria – not, let me finish all three names – stop – where am I – MARIA! ROSE! SINA!

And then he could feel nothing except floating. For a moment, he saw his bloodied face below Sannes's boot, saw through Sanne's soul.

Excitement shone through him, and he looked up. I'm ready.

He gagged out blood and a tooth across the green, green grass. Is this it?

"Nick," said a glowing Person from inside a gate.

"You know my name?" Nick looked around. "Maria! Rose! Sina!"

"Nick, I am your Gods."

Nick's eyes widened, and tears ravaged his throat until he wondered if it were possible to strangle from grief in heaven. "My gods were not you."

"No," admitted the Person, "but they helped you. I do not begrudge you them."

"I was wrong?! I lost my family, and then I was wrong?!" Nick screamed.

"You changed. That's not wrong," said a soft voice.

He froze. His wife stood inside the gate, his son and daughter before.

"You were very brave, dear," said his wife, tears in her eyes. You drunken coward, she'd spat, as he collapsed outside in the cold and she'd locked the door. And then the house had burned. And she'd regretted it since.

Nick fell to his knees, and his family rushed out the gate, swarming him with love.

In that moment, in the Presence of a Stranger who felt uncannily familiar, he found all he'd ever wanted.

"Is that my brother?!" Kuchel's hands balled into fists. "No – no – no – no –no!"

Mrs. Ackerman frowned at the lanky man yelling at Dimo Reeves. "He doesn't really resemble my husband."

"Yes, all the better for your husband," Kuchel replied. "This is not going to end well."

"You mean…" Dina watched as Kenny grabbed Reeve by the throat, and with a flash of his knife, spilled his lifeblood.

"It's hard to believe he ever cared about anyone," Kuchel said dully.

"I think he still does," Frieda said, with a long glance at Kuchel.

"Yes, and that's the problem."

"You helped our children!"

Dimo Reeves glanced into the gate, the gate unblocked by material goods, the gate unblocked by people.

A pretty brunette waved at him and approached with a tall, willowy Asian woman.

"Are you related to Mikasa Ackerman?" he rasped.

"I am," said the woman. "And this is Carla Jaeger."

"Oh – oh!" Dimo's legs shook, but he made sure to grab both ladies' hands and give them a proper kiss. "Your children are very brave."

"We know," Carla said with a smile.

"I – I wish my Flegel would be like that…" Dimo turned around. "Oh!"

He could see Flegel, crying by the trees. Flegel, crying over him, caring about him.

"I think," said Carla, "those are the tears of someone very brave."

"Kenny, you fool!" Kuchel's heart beat wildly.

"He's getting near to the captain," said Petra nervously.

"He won't kill Levi. He raised him," Kuchel said. "Please."

"But what about Nifa and Keiji?" Eld demanded.

Nanaba shrieked then, as Nifa's head exploded.

"No." Mike gripped her hand tighter, as if the power of their love could undo death.

"Nifa!" Lynne dragged Gelgar near the gate, waving desperately towards her best friend. "Nifa, Nifa, Nifa!"

"Heaven just got a lot more stylish," Oluo remarked, crossing his arms.

"Can you not?" Petra cried.

"Lynne? Gelgar! Nanaba!" Nifa surveyed the gate. "Squad Leader Mike. Oh my goodness."

"Looks like we're together in death, too," said Keiji, appearing directly behind her.

Nifa whirled around. "Of course, you would open with something sarcastic. Can't you see we're in heaven, Keiji?!"

"That's why I'm free to be sarcastic."

"Or not to be." Nifa placed her hands on her hips.

"If it makes you feel any better," said Oluo, hoping Petra would approve of him, "you were killed by Levi's uncle. So, like, the guy who taught Levi everything."

"That man would be Erwin Smith, not Kenny Ackerman," Mike said.

"I mean, can't it be both?"

"Oluo, shut up." Petra pressed her lips against his.

"So this is heaven," said a third member of Squad Hanji, stepping past the gate.

"It is." Petra winked. "You'll see it's not all bad."

"You'll see it's more heaven and hell than you could ever believe," said Nanaba. "But if you wanna know about this world, I think our first stop should be Grisha Jaeger."

"Go on, introduce them." Kuchel waved them on. "Kenny won't kill Levi, but I'll keep watch for you all."

"Meet Levi's mother, Kuchel."

"You're his mother?" Nifa's mouth dropped open. "But you're so – nice…"