Fluffy, floating in midst of a beautiful blue sky…Shikamaru sighed contently as he lit another cigarette; his body sprawled on the ground, gazing at the clouds mostly hidden behind skyscrapers obstructing his view.
The brunet seriously missed the old days when he could return to his home town every college vacation, idyllic days of green pastures and indefinite moments of cloud watching. Even though it'd been so long since he'd been living in New York, he still held on to this kind of hobby, having the luck to find a decent place to gaze from one of the building's emergency exits. He found it as a good way to relax whenever he was forced to face problems, stressful things like—
"SHIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A thunderous noise of a door opening rumbled from inside, followed by the usual desperate shout of his colleague, completely disrupting the previous peaceful moment.
Yes, stressful things like this hyperactive loud blond. Shikamaru already felt like groaning but realized it'd be too troublesome to waste his vocal chords.
"What now Naruto?" The brunet tried not to cringe at the pitiful teary blue eyes directed at him.
Naruto muttered. "The—the bastard…" His voice slowly died, as the blond cast his eyes to the ground. Shikamaru placed each hand on his ears, already expecting the inevitable explosion.
"WHAT AN ASSHOLE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! NOT ONLY DID HE GIVE ME THAT IMPOSSIBLE PIECE OF CRAP BOOK TO FINISH BUT HE HAD TO FIND SOME WAY TO HUMILIATE ME IN PUBLIC! I WANT TO PUMMEL THAT GIRLISH FACE SO MUCH AND SHOVE MY FOOT DEEP INSIDE THAT FUCKING ASS BECAUSE THIS BASTARD MUST COME FROM THE NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL!"
Shikamaru idly saw the birds flying away from their building; he was sure that even the clouds fled from the screeching sound of his friend yelling. No one was entitled to have some calm and quiet moments for themselves lately it seemed…
"What did he do this time Naruto? I thought we finished all the primary sketches he asked for?" He asked.
"Yeah, we did and yeah he was satisfied with it." Naruto grumbled.
Shikamaru was puzzled. "So…?"
"So…" Naruto inhaled deeply and Shikamaru resumed his previous position of hands on his ears. "THAT FUCKER INVITED ME TO A PARTY 'CUZ OF IT!"
"So yes, he was thankful for this, this was supposed to be a good thing right?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"You don't understand! Sarutobi-jiichan told about the fact that he helped me out with the project and that is WHY the asshole decided to do that! HE DID IT ON PURPOSE!"
"How can you be so sure about this?—"
"That's 'cuz you didn't see his ugly deformed face when he invited me to that fucking party! The bastard was smirking!" Naruto growled. "Yeah, he was doing that creepy, smug, arrogant face of 'I'm better than you, blablabla, usuratonkachi, blebleble, blond moron, blobloblo' that I fucking hate! I can see that kind of expression miles away!"
"Oh really? And why would he decide to invite you to a party that would help with your image if he disliked you?" Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"What? Obviously, he knows! He probably asked his company to do all those kinds of creepy stalkerish investigations and that's why he knows my weak point! The jerk! He knows that I hate going to those kinds of formal parties - that's why he purposely did this to humiliate me!"
"Naruto, you're being irrational about all this—"
"No, I'm not! You saw how he treated me at our first meeting! And you heard whenever I complained about him! You really believe that that jerk would suddenly be all nice and goody-goody just 'cuz I succeeded in doing the primary sketches?" Naruto knitted his eyebrows together with a groan.
Well…he had a point. "Then just go to the party Naruto. It's not that traumatizing." Shikamaru shrugged.
"You obviously forgot…" Naruto shivered, disgusted. "That incident."
As memories suddenly rushed back, Shikamaru laughed instead, much to his friend's indignation. "Oh yes, Naruto the tanned blond Snow White. I had fun rescuing you."
"You had fun with it because you weren't the one who was almost molested by a wrinkly 70 year old crone!" The blond sputtered back.
"Yeah well, who'd have thought that an elegant old lady would spike your champagne with a rape drug?" Shikamaru chuckled again. "Luckily I was nearby so there, just a small prank, no harm done in the end right?"
Naruto twitched his left eye, still not satisfied with his friend's laidback conclusion. That experience was extremely traumatizing. At one of the usual parties representing Sarutobi's company, the hostess saw this as an opportunity to taste some 'young meat' expertly choosing Naruto since he looked the brightest and healthiest if not the hottest.
Since it was customary to make a toast with the hostess of the party, the blond gladly accepted the expensive champagne, gulped it down in less than 10 seconds, and proceeded to pass out within seconds; her bodyguards grabbed the fainted body and carried him to the nearest bedroom. Shikamaru luckily noticed the sudden disappearance of his friend and went to investigate the issue, until he found the hostess half naked with a drowsy Naruto, which promptly made him scream in disgust. Naruto snapped out of it as a consequence and also screamed with all the saggy flesh presented in front of his eyes.
Then, the hostess tried to cover herself up, whilst shaking her wrinkled breasts, as the bodyguards arrived to protect her. Shikamaru and Naruto continued screaming and covered their eyes to recover the few last bits of their lost innocence, while all the screeching noise provoked her to have a small heart attack, which made the bodyguards join in the scream fest, which led the doctors to rush inside - Naruto still out-of-it from the after effects of the drug, curious onlookers and paparazzi in search for a first page news, all resulted in a great commotion inside the room. Traumatizing indeed.
In the end, the hostess was wealthy enough to bribe away all the possible hoax or gossip about the events that happened that night; however, she couldn't do the same with Naruto since he was under Sarutobi's protective wing (who was thoroughly enraged with the incident and terminated his ties with the woman, an old friend of his). It was only Naruto's moral code and his incessant desire to forget this whole nightmare that prevented him from taking any legal action against her and thus she remained unscathed. After the dust had settled and heads had cooled down, Shikamaru concluded that this whole experience was simply hilarious, much to Naruto's aggravation, though he wouldn't tease his friend since it wasn't his nature. He would laugh whenever the topic would be raised, however, such as now:
"Sheesh, thanks for being such a good friend Shika." Naruto muttered, crossing his arms. "Seriously, with friends like you, who needs enemies?"
"Well, if it's that traumatizing, you could simply refuse any kind of drink offered, and stay away from innocent looking old ladies, that's all." Shikamaru offered.
"But overall I simply don't like going to those kinds of events." The blond placed his hand on his chin and muttered. "I mean, it's annoying, I have to watch how I behave, what I wear, how I talk, how I walk, probably even how I pee, there'll always be a nagging moron wanting to say that I'm an impolite ruffian with no refined manners." He made a face. "Bleh."
"Well, you did appreciate all the attention in the beginning right? After all, you used to be the attention-whore of our high school class."
"C'mon Shika" Naruto rolled his eyes. "That was a long time ago, and I grew up ok? In the end it's kinda obvious that it's a waste of time to do this when everyone is just looking for your name and/or your financial status. I don't like being involved with those kinds of fake people. If I want to be recognized by someone, I prefer being recognized by my friends."
"Well, won't argue against that." Shikamaru smiled back.
"Great! So, we're back to the main point about why I was looking for you in the first place!" Naruto grinned wide, making his friend narrow his eyes in suspicion. "Please go with me to the party." He spoke, serious gaze emphasizing the low tone of his voice.
"Oh. Sorry Naruto, I'm taken." Shikamaru smirked with the cigarette playing on his lips.
"No you moron, I'm not gay!" Naruto protested back, and then proceeded to approach him with shimmering teary blue eyes, using his famous kicked puppy expression. "Help me out and go to the party."
"I'm going to the party." Shikamaru sighed tiredly.
"Really? Man, Shika, you're such a great friend!" Naruto patted his back, the latter coughing from the force of it.
"I said I'm going to that party, doesn't mean I'm going to be next to you the whole time." Shikamaru grunted.
"Huh?" Naruto gaped incredulously. "So what other weird reason would make you decide to go to the party then? You don't like going as much as I do 'cuz you think it's troublesome!"
Shikamaru sighed once again, rubbing the space between his eyebrows. He tried to gather the correct words to explain to his friend and muttered:
"Well…You know…that—well…I intend to marry Temari right?" The words were hushed and there was a slight tinge of pink on his face.
Naruto raised his eyebrow, urging the brunet to continue. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck.
"Soooo…I wanted to, before popping the ultimate question, see if I could talk with her father and Temari mentioned he was going to that party and well…"
Naruto completed the sentence, lowering his voice in a conspiratorial tone, a mischievous grin on his lips. "Oooooh, I see there, you're trying to gain some points with the future in-laws before you close the deal, huh. Always the strategist, well done Shika."
Face red, Shikamaru tucked his head between his arms in mortification, though he still had the wit to return a middle finger gesture to the blond.
"Wait a minute, so that means that you're going to abandon me in the middle of those vultures and crazy old crones while you're trying to get on your future daddy's good side?" Naruto realized, complaining loudly.
"Yes, exactly like that. Somehow, I don't feel guilty about this." The brunet smirked while his foot crushed the remnants of the cigarette on the ground.
"What? You can't do something like that to your friend! You're so heartless Shika!"
"Emergency situations require emergency decisions. I have to stick with my priorities, especially when Temari…comes from a rich family." Dark eyes were fixed to his foot that kept grinding the butt of his cigarette.
Naruto deflated, feeling sympathetic to his friend. After almost 4 years of being in a relationship - Shikamaru had met his girlfriend during college - it was revealed quite suddenly recently that not only was Temari a daughter from a wealthy clan but this clan also had distant ties with a noble family in Egypt. And even though Shikamaru had already secured a respectable house, had an excellent salary in one of the most prominent architecture offices in New York, and had earned distinguishing achievements in comparison to people of his same age, he feared that he wouldn't be on par with Temari's father's demands for a decent son-in-law. He hoped he could at least leave a positive impression at the first meeting.
Not having the heart to pressure him into helping him out any longer, it was the blond's turn to sigh loudly, groaning. "Well…maybe I could fake sickness or—"
"Naruto, I don't think it's a good idea…" Shikamaru interrupted. "You do realize you're not allowed to refuse the personal invitation from Mr. Uchiha, since he is after all the heir of the most important company in the world."
The blond slumped his shoulders. "And it's not like I have a suitable tuxedo for the occasion, I'll be a laughing stock when I arrive there."
Shikamaru blinked confused. "Don't you have the tuxedo that Sarutobi gave to you when you had your birthday in conjunction with winning first prize at New York's Annual Architecture Competition for the design of the Hilton hotel?"
"What?" Naruto instantly rebutted indignantly. "I can't wear that! That tux was expensive and tailored in Italy! I'm not going to waste it on an annoying party like that!"
The brunet rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Naruto, it's a suit, you're supposed to wear it, you know. And not simply let it decorate the inside of your closet, accumulating dust and time."
"B-but…" Naruto wrinkled his nose. "I don't want to use it, it was my first expensive present, and from Sarutobi-jiichan too." He whispered to himself. "And you know how much of a klutz I am. What if I eat something that will dirty the tuxedo, or spill some wine on the shirt or—"
Shikamaru sighed in a good-naturedly way, seriously, his friend was such a sap. "And that's the magic of dry cleaning Naruto, I'm sure that they'll remove any stain you may stumble upon and return the suit to you all sparkly new."
"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut…" The blond whined.
"Just go Naruto, remember you're still representing Sarutobi's company, if you're absent, it won't be good for his reputation." Shikamaru added. "I'll try staying at your side as much as possible, ok? So you won't feel all abandoned and lonely too." He mocked.
Naruto grumbled back with a smile. "Oh fuck off."
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Finally seeing the oasis of his home after long hours of work, Naruto quickly fished out his keys from his pocket and opened his door, sighing blissfully as he dumped himself on the coach, haphazardly taking off his shoes and smelly socks. The day of the party had finally arrived, so Sarutobi allowed him to leave earlier to get a decent shower, dress up and arrive at the place on time.
He still wasn't in the mood to go, so he dragged himself to the bathroom as slowly as possible, scratching his belly with a large yawn as he unbuttoned his shirt, turning on the shower. Just as he was finishing his bath, he heard a phone ring.
"Dammit." The blond scrambled to grab the nearest towel and ran towards the gadget, clicking the on button to hear a boisterous voice:
"Finally! What took you so long to answer the phone? I almost gave up from waiting so long!"
"You only waited one minute long you impatient old man! Why can't you act like a normal parent? Does it hurt you to say 'Hi, long time no see Naruto, how are you doing lately?' huh, ero sennin!" Naruto replied with the same loud tone.
Jiraiya laughed heartily over the phone. "Fine! Hi, long time no see Naruto-chan, how are you doin—"
"Ok stop it, I'm going to throw up now." Naruto conceded defeat. "Now confess the reason behind this sudden and totally suspicious call out of nowhere."
"What? I'm not allowed to catch up with my adopted son now? Is there a crime in doing something like that?"
"Spill." Naruto rolled his eyes, grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer.
"Hm. Fine." Jiraiya grumbled until he returned to his rowdy mood. "I'm just giving you my best wishes for tonight's party held by Uchiha Corporation, am I right?"
"Please don't tell me you heard this from Sarutobi-jiichan. I swear, the whole city probably knows about this 'cuz of him."
"He's simply proud of you Naruto, and so am I for achieving such a feat. I'm actually disappointed you didn't mention it to me."
"Well, it was nothing worthy of mentioning ero sennin." Naruto shrugged. Not to mention the Bastard didn't invite him out of gratitude, it wasn't anything to be proud about.
"Not worthy? Brat, being invited to a party held by one of the most important companies of the world is something worthy to tell the whole Earth about!"
Naruto snorted, using the towel to dry his hair. "'Guess I wasn't in the mood to tell ya 'cuz you'd pester me about all the sordid details of this party tomorrow."
Jiraiya instantly protested. "I wouldn't!"
"Yeah, and you'll probably ask if I saw a famous actress inside, if her boobs are as big as they look in the movies, if a model really has those long lean legs and—"
"Well, it's my obligation to ask about those things, they are important references for use in my novels someday!" Jiraiya didn't wait for the usual sardonic reply and continued. "So you have to go and help me collect this information! I think it's a good opportunity for you to use that expensive suit Sarutobi-sensei gave you on your birthday."
Naruto glared at the phone. Seriously, that was the third time someone recommended he use that tuxedo, the second person was Sarutobi himself. Is this some kind of conspiracy they planned altogether to force him to wear that tuxedo against his will? "Whatever." He muttered, sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Oh, and also, just the usual reminder we always do whenever you go to these kinds of events." Jiraiya cleared his throat, his tone suddenly serious. Naruto felt dread burbling in his gut but shook it off with an uneasy chuckle.
"What, drink lots of booze, grope lots of hawt women and make sure you have one in each arm by the end of the party?"
"Naruto, you know what I'm talking about." Jiraiya pressed on, voice solemn.
Naruto scratched his head infuriated, protesting. "Oh, c'mon, this is ridiculous—"
"Naruto, you promised."
"I don't see the point of doing this—"
"But you promised. Recite it to me."
And there it was, the real reason why Naruto despised going to social events. He could tolerate the annoying fake people, put up with their snobbish attitudes and even ignore the subtle molesting from old women but what he loathed was this promise he made to Jiraiya.
It all started when Naruto was finally employed for the first time as an architect, though not in Sarutobi's company. Jiraiya had pulled some strings in hopes Naruto could convince a possible client to accept his project. The blond ended up getting into this client's birthday celebration somehow with his proposal and laptop ready to talk with him. It didn't go well as originally planned, unfortunately.
Although Naruto's ideas were excellent and the build was configured at a low cost, the client rejected it, scoffing that anyone raised by an erotica writer couldn't possibly make anything on a decent level, let alone something as complex as a high end building design.
Naruto never felt so much satisfaction in breaking his front teeth, nose and almost dislocating the moron's right shoulder in retaliation.
However, like many pampered, snotty children from rich families would react, the man was set to ruin Naruto's whole career and life in revenge. The news about Naruto made itself known to the company Naruto was working for, resulting in him being fired on the spot. The situation didn't worsen due to the fact that Jiraiya knew the man's father and begged him to drop the offense.
And although Jiraiya and Sarutobi were old friends; Sarutobi was Jiraiya's former teacher or something, Naruto prided himself on earning his position in that company by his own effort. It was only during the official hiring process when Sarutobi realized Naruto's identity. Jiraiya, on the other hand, never mentioned this incident to Sarutobi, fearing that this knowledge could change Sarutobi's positive impression of his adopted son.
And thus, this case was only known between the involved parties, and it'd have been forgotten through the passage of time if only Jiraiya hadn't come up with an idea to prevent anything similar happening in the future. Since Jiraiya knew his son's stubborn and impulsive nature, automatically retaliating if Naruto encountered any other person mocking his father, Jiraiya decided that the best solution would be to cut to the root of the problem, thus, forcing Naruto to promise to hide the fact that Jiraiya was his adopted father.
Naruto simply loathed the very idea, but conceded his father when Jiraiya continued to show deep concern over the situation. However, whenever the issue came up, they ended up arguing about it; Jiraiya thought that Naruto was an immature boy who would never understand the cynicism of the world; Naruto thought that the lie was ridiculous and pointless. Their relationship had deteriorated a little bit ever since.
Naruto drew a long pained groan, throwing himself on his bed while he furrowed his eyebrows.
"Naruto." Jiraiya called on the other side of the phone.
"Fine." The blond gritted his teeth. "I fucking promise to carry on this moronic idea of lying through my teeth that I was raised in an orphanage, living alone till now."
"I don't understand why are you are so adverse to this necessary fabrication. Do you have any idea how much women like men with troubled pasts? Raises some points since they like the idea of healing their emotional wounds, so I've heard."
Naruto chewed his lower lip to prevent giving a snappish response. He knew if they discussed it any further at this point it wouldn't do them any good. "Whatever." He muttered.
"Hey, do try keeping a positive mood about this ok? Go have fun, flirt with many ladies and enjoy the expensive champagne and don't return before 2 am!" Jiraiya laughed loudly, shaking off the somber atmosphere and soothing Naruto's bad mood.
"Sure, will do old man."
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Sasuke glanced at his watch for the ninth time, between many shakes of hands and polite smiles to everyone at the party. Shikamaru followed him around representing one of the chief architects in charge of rebuilding Mitsukoshi. As much as Sasuke despised the usuratonkachi, at least the moron could keep him entertained at this boring party. He was almost thirty minutes late. Again. Is this some kind of irritating habit that this dumbass had or did he do it especially in order to annoy him?
"Hey Shika!" As if he was answering his wonderings, a loud voice called the ponytailed brunet and both men turned around to see Naruto wearing a grin only to vanish instantly once onyx and sapphire eyes clashed together.
"You're late usura—Uzumaki-san." Sasuke quickly corrected the pet name as the guests next to him studied the new blond arrival to the party curiously.
Naruto scowled. "You invited me to this party. I didn't know there was an exact expected arrival time, Mister Uchiha." The blond schooled his expression when he noticed some raised eyebrows looking his direction.
Sasuke cleared his throat to catch everyone's attention, as he 'accidentally' bumped his elbow into Naruto's back. He couldn't help but to throw an appraising glance at the blond. He noticed the way that the fine cut of the formal clothing revealed a sophisticated presence to the usually unruly man. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, wondering how Naruto managed to own such an expensive suit. Well, at least the dumbass looked…decent.
"I believe I haven't introduced the other chief architect on the Mitsukoshi project, Sasaki-san." Sasuke spoke while the blond politely bowed to the old couple presented to him. "This is Uzumaki Naruto. Uzumaki-san, Sasaki Kojirou and Sasaki Nanami, his wife."
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Sasaki-san." Naruto spoke in Japanese, shaking both hands with a polite smile.
"Ooooh, not bad, you spoke the sentence correctly in Japanese young boy!" Nanami giggled, yanking Naruto's cheek all of a sudden. "It's so fascinating whenever Western people are engrossed in learning our wonderful language, is it not?"
"Uuuuuh…" Was what Naruto could mutter while his cheek was being bullied left and right. He heard a snort and glanced to his left, an evident smirk displayed on Sasuke's lips. The blond glared; that bastard obviously thought that this entire situation was funny.
Nanami released and then patted his reddened cheek, saying. "I find it adorable you succeeded in speaking without sounding so strangely, keep it up!"
"Uh…thanks?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head shyly.
"He's probably partially Japanese, Nanami." Kojirou spoke to his wife, before turning to Naruto. "After all, your name is completely Japanese young lad, you probably have a distant Japanese relative, though you surely don't have any Eastern features, right…" Kojirou said.
Naruto laughed uneasily. "Yeah, it's something like that…"
"I'm sorry, Sasaki-san, Naruto, Uchiha-san." Shikamaru suddenly interrupted, bowing slightly. "I have some urgent business to take care of, I need to leave now. It was a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh, of course." Kojirou acquiesced with another shake of hand.
Nanami however, also pulled both Shikamaru's cheeks beaming brightly. "Off you go young boy."
"I guess we should also go, Sasaki-san." Sasuke spoke, bowing in apology. "Uzumaki-san." The brunet narrowed his eyes transmitting the message of 'you better go with me or else.' Naruto glowered back, though turned toward Sasuke's direction.
Shikamaru moved close to the tanned ear and muttered. "Hang in there Naruto."
Naruto snorted, whispering back. "Beam me up, Scotty."
"Sorry, no can do. Maybe later." Shikamaru patted his friend's shoulder before moving away from him.
Naruto sighed, grumbling as he followed in Sasuke's direction. When he raised his face to glare towards Sasuke, he noticed the brunet's confused expression.
"What's wrong?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
Caught in the act, Sasuke immediately schooled his facial expression. "Nothing."
Rolling his eyes, Naruto shrugged his shoulders with a scowl. As they were moving closer to the table with the drinks, he heard a quiet cough.
"Yeah?" This time, both blond eyebrows furrowed suspiciously.
"Well. Is Nara-san's nickname Scotty? And why did you want him to beam you up anyways?" Sasuke inquired, glaring to hide his discomfort in not comprehending the dialogue.
Blue eyes blinked confused. "Huh? No, it's—"Then, suddenly a light bulb went off. The reason that Sasuke previously misunderstood when Naruto asked what he did to make Sasuke get his panties in twist and when he didn't react when the blond said that working with him was 'like being caught between a rock and a hard place' was because he didn't understand these idiomatic expressions. So the bastard didn't have a complete dominance over the English language…Naruto cackled inwardly, satisfied with the unexpected turn of events. Oh, sweet sweet Karma.
Sasuke darkened his glare in challenge. "What?" He asked once more.
"Oh, nothing." Naruto beamed pleasantly. "Just wanted to say that 'Beam me up, Scotty" is an English idiom, ya know. Shika was going to fulfill an important duty, so I was giving him my best wishes, 'beam me up' is like 'I hope you'll bring good news that will make me smile'. Scotty is a name that usually brings good luck and fortune. You should try it out someday - it's quite a popular idiom." Naruto spoke chuckling inwardly.
Sasuke stared back, narrowing his dark grey eyes considerably, though the rest of his expression remained apathetic. "Hn." He grunted while he grabbed a glass of champagne.
Naruto grinned, his gaze fixed on the delicious appetizers placed far away from him. "Well, since I already showed my awesome presence to your bastardish self and you already introduced me to some people, lemme go to that interesting looking table of food, ogle famous actresses, have fun anywhere like every guest in a party shou—"
"You're not going anywhere without my permission - you'll follow me while I continue to welcome all the guests, usuratonkachi." Sasuke interrupted, sipping his drink.
"What? Why!" The blond protested.
"Because, I said so. Shut up dumbass."
"Why should I obey you anyways huh? You Bastard!"
"You're one of the architects responsible for the rebuilding project that this party is celebrating. It's your obligation to help welcome the people who're coming to this party and help to clarify any questions that may arise on details about the reconstruction of Mitsukoshi."
"Well, I can do this without following your icy ass around!" Naruto complained.
"And to allow you to slack around instead of giving the necessary introductions? Please." Sasuke finished his drink and placed it on the table. He moved to return to the crowd, not before making sure he threw a backwards warning glance.
Naruto huffed angrily, muttering. "Oh, go fly a kite."
Sasuke glared. "What?"
The blond immediately smoothed out into another pleasant smile, explaining. "Nothing. Since you insist so much in being uptight, I'm just saying that you're under too much stress, you should do some leisure activities to remove your tenseness, you know, like strolling on green meadows, admire colorful butterflies, having some picnics, fly a kite…"
"…hn." Sasuke grunted back, not completely convinced of the explanation, though he let it slide for now.
"Oh, I finally found you Sasuke-kun!" An old woman approached the brunet and smooched him forcefully on his cheek. "I thought you were avoiding me since you didn't greet me yet!"
"I was avoiding you so I wouldn't be molested by you, old woman." Sasuke thought though he only offered a small smile, avoiding the subject. "It's been a long time, Chiyo-sama."
Chiyo sniggered then noticed the blond next to him. "And this young man…?" She smiled happily, offering her hand to Naruto.
"Uzumaki Naruto, one of our chief architects responsible for Mitsukoshi's reconstruction." Sasuke spoke on Naruto's behalf.
"It is a pleasure to meet you m'am." Naruto kissed the back of her hand, and Chiyo used this opportunity to approach him and caress his toned arm.
"It's so impressive that you're able to fulfill such important projects at such a young age. Sasuke-kun, you didn't bully him with your usual cranky and perfectionist way, right?"
Sasuke snorted, but otherwise didn't say anything in his defense. Naruto, on the other hand, felt the urge to make a jibe as his mischievous nature surfaced.
"Oh, he surely caused a ruckus the moment he arrived in our office. You know, all Johnny-come-lately like."
When he saw two questioning glances appearing before him, he continued with a wide grin. "You know, immediately marking his presence, drawing everyone's attention (negatively, Naruto added in his mind) and engaging an interesting conversation with me. I have to confess that I had quite a few bones to pick with him in the end."
"I see…you meant bones as in…?" Chiyo inquired curiously.
Naruto cupped his hand next to the old lady's ear and whispered in a conspiratory tone. "Well, it's something too vulgar that a refined young lady like you shouldn't understand, Chiyo-san."
Chiyo laughed in response before slapping Naruto's rear-end. "You're such a charming young man Naruto-kun. I like you already."
The blond grinned back before straightening himself and glanced towards Sasuke to see any sign of suspicion.
However, there was a slight reddening around his cheeks, until Sasuke schooled it with another Uchiha Glare®.
"Huh. So he knows the 'other' meaning of bone huh…" Naruto mused as one side of his lips twitched upwards, smirking knowingly. "What a perv."
It didn't take long for Naruto to notice after some cheerful chat from Chiyo and the monosyllabic answers from Sasuke, that the old woman knew the young Uchiha enough to criticize and tease him whenever she wanted, and Sasuke didn't return with any sharp words back, probably in respect for her age [and position] or something like that. And although Naruto was still leery about crazy perverted old women, Chiyo showed a considerable interest in him, however, she was mostly leaning next to Sasuke and making him completely uncomfortable. The blond quickly concluded that the enemy of his enemy will always be his ally no matter what circumstances and as long as he avoided any beverages offered to him (Naruto instantly shivered at the thought) it's a good opportunity to use and get rid of the Bastard.
"Well Chiyo-san, how about accompanying me to the terrace. I've heard there's a fantastic view there." The blond declared offering his arm.
"I'd definitely appreciate that Naruto-kun. Such a gentleman." Chiyo accepted, placing her head next to his shoulder.
"Wait. Who said you could do this, Uzumaki-san." Sasuke growled crossing his arms.
"Are you saying that you're prohibiting me from escorting this charming lady, Uchiha-san? Such an inconsiderate man." Naruto retorted with a fake snobbish tone.
"He's correct Sasuke-kun. Let him enjoy the party a little bit, he deserves it." Chiyo spoke too, dragging Naruto away from the Uchiha heir.
The blond waited until they were safely some meters away from the brunet to snicker from Sasuke's outrageous face. Hah, that bastard deserved it.
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Convincing the old lady that he couldn't follow her throughout the night was easy too. He simply declared that he drank too much champagne and wasn't feeling very well, promptly making Chiyo show a wary face, patting his back in dismissal.
Now that Naruto had finally gotten rid of bastardish assholes and groping old ladies, nothing stood in the way of that long table full of delicious dumplings, Hors d'œuvres, deviled eggs and canapés. Licking his lips, his fingers finally reached one appetizer that he instantly gobbled in one mouthful, moaning blissfully.
He accidentally crossed glances with a man next to him and blinked when that man kept staring back coldly. The blond tried to ease the tense aura surrounding them by offering a grin in response, his cheeks puffed since the food was still lodged inside his mouth. The man just continued to stare in appraisal, until he raised his long nose with an imperious sniff and picked up a canapé delicately with the tips of his fingers, promptly walking away from Naruto.
Naruto rolled his eyes as he gulped down the appetizer, typical. And then people wondered why he hated going to these social events. He glanced at his watch, in hopes that this party was almost over and groaned noticing that he still had a few more hours to go. How he'd do anything to be with his friends at home talking and drinking beer instead of being inside such a boring place. Grabbing another appetizer, he decided to look for Shikamaru. As he stepped forward, someone grabbed his arm.
"You are Uzumaki Naruto right?" A young woman in her early twenties beamed brightly in his direction, her perky breasts brushing his arm, the fabric of her dress leaning away to show her ample cleavage.
"And you are…?" Naruto asked surprised, he was sure he had never met this girl in his life.
She giggled with a high-pitched voice, long manicured fingers cupping his jaw. "Mimeko, feel free to call me Mimi. Oh, Sasuke-kun told me about you." Cerulean eyes immediately narrowed at the mention of that name. "He said that I should look for a blond easily spotted in the crowd, and I found you!" She squealed, hugging his arm tightly. "Mmmm, the girls will go green with jealousy that I found you first!"
Naruto stared silently to evaluate the situation, not comprehending why Sasuke would suddenly throw an attractive woman in his direction. This definitely sounded odd and highly suspicious.
"Mimi!" Another young woman, wearing a long Chinese dress and her hair pulled into a delicate bun approached, her hands already sliding over Naruto's chest. "Who's this gorgeous blondie you lucky slut?"
"Oh shut up Xiaomei, get your slimy hands away from him. He's the blondie Sasuke-kun was talking about before." Mimi retorted back.
Xiaomei wrinkled her nose, drawing closer to the blond. "I'm sure he likes me better right, Na-ru-to-kun." She fluttered her long eyelashes, squishing her breasts towards his chest.
Naruto raised his eyebrows, the feeling of soft breasts pressed closely to his body was absolutely wonderful and he wanted to make sure this would last as long as possible (his hormones conveniently forgetting that Sasuke was the one who planned all this). "Young ladies, please don't fight, I find you both equally adorable."
Apparently, this answer didn't satisfy either of them, as Mimi slid one of her hands around his back whispering sultrily. "But Naruto-kun, I'm sure you'll find me better for my…various talents in many many interesting areas that you'll surely appreciate."
"Well…" Naruto murmured, her words fully gaining his attention.
"Mimi, Xiaomei!" Another shout came from the crowd and a curly haired girl whined. "I can't find Uzumaki Naruto that Sasuke-kun told us about…and who's this handsome man?"
"I am Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto offered with a sheepish grin.
"Really? Kyaaaa!" The girl quickly grabbed his freed arm, while Mimi glared in response. "Glad to meet you, I'm Hitomi. Can we have sex now?"
"W-what?" Naruto sputtered flabbergasted.
"Hi-chan!" Xiaomei protested, her arms hooking around the tanned neck. "Get out, he's mine for tonight!"
Mimi shrugged. "I'm sure we could take turns."
Hitomi giggled. "Or better, a foursome~! You wouldn't mind this, right Naruto-kun?" She asked tilting her head cutely to one side.
Before the blond could answer her, he squeaked when he felt Mimi's hand pinching his ass. "Oooooh, you have such nice ass~~definitely fuckable."
"I like his arms, they're all muscled and taut." Hitomi replied, though one of her hands also slipped to grope the other side of Naruto's butt. "You're right, his ass is so sexy—all soft and firm!"
"Hmph." Xiaomei sniffed, ghosting her fingers around his body. "You all have such crude tastes. Obviously the best part of Naruto-kun is his torso, can't you feel his washboard abs?"
"Um…" Naruto whimpered, feeling completely uncomfortable with all the free groping all over his body. Any man in his position, normally, would be in heaven with three beautiful girls pouring all their attention towards him. Actually, he'd be in heaven if only they weren't looking at him like he was some kind of scrumptious meat.
"If it's a foursome, I demand that I get to have his behind, squeezing his ass." Mimi demanded, pinching Naruto's backside as emphasis.
"Uh, wait a minute…" Naruto muttered back, although he was ignored by the trio.
Hitomi hummed in approval, her hands roaming all over his chest. "Oh yes…his chest is so firm too!" She found one nipple hidden behind the thin fabric of his shirt and pinched it, Naruto squawked shocked. "Can't wait~~" She giggled happily.
Xiaomei continued to feel up his stomach until she slid lower, cupping his groin. "The equipment appears to be the right size too. Maybe I should take a close inspection though…" She opened Naruto's shirt slightly to glide her hand inside his trousers and—
"I HAVE TO PEE!"
All women (and some people around them) stopped dead to look at the blond man.
Xiaomei was the first to recompose herself. "Um, what?"
Naruto repeated again, regaining some of his wit. "I have to pee. Uh—yeah."
Hitomi beamed happily, rubbing her cheek on his arm. "Oh, it's ok, we can wait until you return—"
"No, you don't understand. I—have to pee and. Uh. Well. I think I ate something weird just now. Maybe it was the shrimp. I am allergic to shrimp. So you see, I have to go to the bathroom because I'm going to have diarrhea right here right now."
All women immediately freed his limbs, cautiously stepping away.
"So yeah. I'm sure I'll start farting non-stop because I'm feeling the gas bloating in my stomach, and everyone said my farts smell. Can even wilt flowers instantly too."
Now, the distance between them definitely increased by a couple more meters away.
Naruto sighed relieved, walking away. "So, if you'll excuse me…"
He had a Bastard to find and kill.
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Since he was the host of this party, it was difficult to find some free time to rest a little and recover his legs, away from any annoying interruption. Right now, Sasuke found a secluded place with a comfortable chair, twirling his glass of champagne with a smirk, just waiting for the moment that the usuratonkachi would arrive raising hell.
"YOU ASSHOLE!"
Well, that was fast. Sasuke raised his onyx eyes just to meet a seething blond stalking menacingly in his direction.
"I can't believe you!" Naruto growled, closing his hand into a fist. "What kind of a ridiculous joke was that to pull by throwing those crazy bitches on me?"
The brunet just shrugged with one shoulder, drinking his beverage in calm gulps. "Just to warn you that you shouldn't just be wary of old women, young ladies can be completely predatory too."
The blond instantly dropped his jaw. "How did you know about –"
"Oh please. You weren't her first or her last victim, so it was easy to connect the dots about the time you went to her party and the time Sarutobi-san cut his ties with her." Sasuke murmured.
"So you did invite me for some kind of evil scheme you jerk!" Naruto shouted enraged.
"Not exactly. I wasn't going to use this card if you didn't use that trick to get rid of me, usuratonkachi." Sasuke smirked, oddly satisfied with those piercing cobalt eyes entirely concentrated on him. "The original plan was just to make you uncomfortable and that's all."
"Whatever, doesn't change the fact that you still invited me for some kind of evil plan, you Bastard!" Naruto threw his arms to the air, angry.
Sasuke snorted, finishing his glass of champagne. "Though you could also blame your poor communication skills for not being able to better control the situation." They saw Mimi, Xiaomei and Hitomi in the distance and the girls waved their hands to Sasuke, the latter simply closed his eyes calmly, crossing his arms, eliciting a string of girlish giggles from them. When the group saw Naruto, they scrunched their noses in disgust, moving farther away from the blond. "See." Sasuke smirked back to Naruto.
Naruto knitted his eyebrows together, grumbling. "Well, beauty is only skin deep I guess."
Sasuke stared back, asking. "Excuse me?"
"It means that I think your skin is cracking a little bit, you need a moisturizer to keep your pretty complexion, Uchiha-san." Naruto supplied readily.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, snarling. "I know what that idiomatic expression means. I just wanted to test out if you were going to explain it correctly."
Oh, busted.
The onyx eyes narrowed even further. "Which automatically makes me conclude that all your previous explanations you described were incorrect too…"
Naruto suddenly turned around with a boisterous shout. "Whoa, is that Gisele Bündchen? I must have her autograph, bye!" He said before instantly disappearing into the crowd.
Sasuke also straightened from his chair, following the blond. "I'm not done with this conversation usuratonkachi, get back here!"
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Naruto made sure he couldn't hear Sasuke's voice from a couple of yards away to catch a little bit of his breath. Damn, for a spoiled rich kid, that bastard could run…He searched for any kind of possible escape route or covered place like drawn curtains or deserted rooms, so he could hide behind it for a while…
In his haste to find a safe place away from the brunet, it happened.
He instantly bumped into one of the waiter's arms, resulting in the tumbling of the plate he was carrying, the glasses of champagne wobbling until one was falling in his direction…
Desperate blue eyes almost captured, frame per frame, the liquid spilling out and almost touching his suit, when he jumped backwards to prevent from dirtying it. However, he violently bumped someone's back, sounds of glasses clashing and breaking on the ground and a loud shout echoing in the middle of the mansion. Naruto turned around to see the long-nosed man that had previously looked him over arrogantly.
"What is your problem, you uneducated savage?" The man yelled, taking out his handkerchief to dry the spilled champagne from his shirt.
"I'm sorry! I am really really sorry for all this, I—"Grabbing the nearest napkins he could see, Naruto reached to help clean up the mess when the man violently slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me with those disgusting hands, you filthy brat!"
Naruto felt his heart freeze.
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On the other side of the mansion, Sasuke was still looking for the dumb blond, ready to give an earful when he heard ominous murmurs and a large crowd circling around a point. Deciding to investigate the issue, he walked towards that place when he quickly identified a mop of golden hair in the midst of it.
He instantly rolled his eyes, hastening his steps. The blond probably created some kind of confusion with another guest which was fortunate for him, since it made the whole chase easier. Sasuke now was wishing that this confusion would prolong as long as possible, until he could reach Naruto and personally strangle him for all this.
However, as Sasuke gradually approached him, he noticed that something was off. The offended man kept gesticulating wildly and yelling at Naruto, but the latter didn't respond back. It was in that moment the brunet noticed the terrified emotion stamped on the whiskered face. As much as he liked teasing the blond, Sasuke never passed through the point of giving him any kind of emotional trauma, so seeing this was unsettling for him. The usual bright eyes were drawn, scared, completely petrified. This atypical expression tied a knot in Sasuke's throat as he was almost running towards him, opening the crowd with a determined glare. If anything, no one is allowed to tease the usuratonkachi except him.
"What is happening here? What's with all this commotion?" Sasuke growled, drawing everyone's attention to him. Naruto widened his eyes in recognition.
The long-nosed man quickly used this opportunity to complain noisily. "Uchiha-sama! I'm so lucky you promptly came to help me out. You see this", he pointed towards Naruto. "ruffian has completely ruined my suit because he's simply too careless with his steps that almost violently shoved me to the ground!"
However, instead of trying to defend himself, Naruto kept quiet about all this, his eyes fixed downwards, the unusual silence somehow unnerved Sasuke. He expected some kind of reaction from the blond.
"Such a rude man, he deserves to be thrown out of the party! I even bet he just slipped inside illegally, escaping from the security, because no one with a little bit of common sense would invite such an unruly brat!" Murmurs of approval gathered around, everyone staring with contempt towards the blond although Naruto didn't react in response.
Sasuke snorted, replying with an irritated tone. "Strange, because I'm sure that I was the one who invited this man to this party. Are you saying that I don't have common sense, Takao-san?"
The murmur died in an instant. If anyone was completely surprised by the sudden turn of events, surely they wouldn't top Naruto's astonished expression, his eyes increasing to the size of dinner plates.
Takao tried to amend his words, stuttering. "O-of course not! But I-I guess that e-even great minds makes so-some mistakes, and o-obviously this young m-man needs—"
"Oh, of course, Uzumaki-san may have accidentally stumbled into you, but aren't you being too unreasonable in condemning him over a simple mistake? And making such a ruckus too, how unbecoming on your part." Sasuke continued, merciless.
"Y-you're r-right, I g-g-guess I exaggerated a li-little bit, a-a-fter all, this was o-only an accident, r-r-right."
"I lament the ruining of your suit. In the name of Uchiha Corporation we'll offer you a free dry cleaning, and we'll give you a new suit for this occasion. You surely can't complain about this, am I right, Takao-san?"
"Y-yes, Uchiha-sama." Takao bowed almost completely bending his upper body in humility. "Your generosity is greatly appreciated…"
"Don't worry about it and just follow one of my security guards; they'll guide you to the appointed room. Now go, this annoying problem has already gone on long enough, and you're disrupting the schedule of this event." He turned around, almost everyone fled away from his piercing glare as Takao gulped, apologizing once again:
"I'm deeply sorry about this, Uchiha-sama! I'll be going now..."
As Sasuke finally succeeded in dispersing the crowd, he walked back to his secluded spot and suddenly felt a hand grab his shoulder.
"Wait, Uchiha."
The brunet turned around, retorting slightly annoyed. "What?"
Naruto almost looked apologetic towards Sasuke until he muttered embarrassed. "Why did you defend me back there, you Bastard."
Sasuke snorted, answering haughtily. "No particular reason. That man was simply irritating, I wanted to find an opportunity to humiliate him in public and you were convenient, that's all."
Naruto lifted his eyes upwards, losing his awkwardness completely and previous gratefulness towards the brunet. "So I guess you had your fun right?"
"Hn."
"You're seriously a bastard from the start of your duck butt hair to the tips of your manicured toes, huh."
"Hn." With a raised eyebrow.
"God!" Naruto frantically messed his hair with both hands and groaned. "You're seriously the most irritating guy I have ever met in my whole life! Why do I even bother talking to you?"
"Because after all, it's better to tolerate my presence than face those false-minded people, usuratonkachi." Sasuke replied with his usual arrogant smirk on his lips.
Blue eyes blinked owlishly, before muttering in agreement. "Yeah well. I surely prefer having at least one person acting sincerely with me than having lots of people faking their friendliness around me."
It was Sasuke's turn to widen his eyes in astonishment, taking time to absorb Naruto's words. Onyx eyes slowly softened at the admission, revealing an unusual expression displayed to the blond, an undistinguished fire simmering in the depth of his gaze, making Naruto's heart leap from that impenetrable stare.
"Wh—what?" The blond grumbled, unsettled.
As if the question broke his stupor, Sasuke blinked and the fire instantly disappeared beneath his eyelids, like it was forcibly extinguished. The brunet muttered. "Nothing, I just wanted to tell you to come with me on stage since there's an explanatory speech to all the guests."
"What? You never warned me about this Bastard! I didn't prepare anything for something like that!" Naruto protested.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, directing his steps towards the stage. "I said that there's an explanatory speech. I'd never once mentioned that you would have to do this usuratonkachi. You just have to stand behind me with Nara-san. As if I'd trust you to explain correctly without stumbling once or twice with your poor Japanese vocabulary."
The blond rebutted in Japanese. "Such untruthful words, Uchiha! I have already proved myself that I am capable to explain the whole project entirely in Japanese, you're simply provoking me without any concise reason!"
Sasuke for once had decided to concede an explanation. "I noticed that you used 'teme' in your vocabulary usuratonkachi."
"Yeah, so what." Naruto replied confused.
The brunet chuckled. "You do realize it's the rude term of 'you' correct? However, since your whole speech is used in polite treatment, it defeats the whole purpose in insulting me, not to mention that it sounds completely odd, dumbass."
He continued chuckling whilst the blond, embarrassed protested at his back. "Well, I am trying, so shut it you ass!"
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Report 04: Lost in translation?
AN: Shikamaru's and Naruto's friendship turned out to be something REALLY amusing to write. It wasn't supposed to be that long, but well…whateva.
8000 words…*sigh* I hope the next chapter will be a short one…*sigh*
Many many many thanks to my betaread Belledragon especially taking in consideration how much she had suffered to correct this chapter...*hides in shame* Please give her a round of applause!