Will everything fall into place?

I really want you to know

There are so many different ways

To tell you

This time, I won't make it through the night without you

Tonight, tomorrow, any day, without you

-Far into the night (without you)

Inviting someone for a Thanksgiving dinner shouldn't be so hard. It's such a generic American holiday that most people won't feel offended over it. But it was the most difficult thing for Rachel to ponder about. She wanted to invite Quinn (and Santana) to an intimate dinner with Kurt.

Kurt had voiced out a very strong opinion against it. It would be the most awkward thing in the world, he said. Imagine Quinn talking about how grateful she is for this year. That won't go well, Kurt reasoned out.

He had a valid point.

Her life certainly changed so much since last year. Rachel felt she had grown old before her time. Her dramatic side had even contemplated on getting a cat because it fits well with a future spinster's life. She had let go of Finn that week he visited New York. There was no need to prolong the agony and hurt him some more.

She declined his invitation for a dinner because Rachel didn't want Finn to expect anything from her anymore. Instead, they met up after an early dinner with her fathers and headed towards Central Park for a walk.

She supposed that Finn had an inkling of where this will end. He was very quiet and had a permanent frown on his forehead. They didn't really have to talk much.

Rachel kept playing with her hands and thought of a good way to start. In the end, it was a simple pause and a "Finn, I need to talk to you about something."

Finn nodded then twisted his lips. "About us, isn't it?"

The brunette nodded then sat down on a bench. "Well, actually…there's no us. There hasn't been an us since—"

"Quinn's accident", Finn calmly said as he kicked some stone.

Rachel looked down and stared at her hands that were firmly placed on her lap. "I want you to know that it was never your fault. The decision was mine and no one else can be blamed for it."

"I know", he shrugged. "I can't even blame Quinn for it. I mean, I'm not the brightest bulb in the room, Rach, but I know Quinn had nothing to do with it. It did hurt my ego longer than the actual heartache", Finn chuckled.

"Your ego?"

"My then ex-girlfriend dating my then fiancée?", he quirked his eyebrows. "That's not a good thing."

Rachel laughed then shook her head. "I wonder how Noah feels, then."

"You're kidding right? He finds it the sexiest thing ever."

"Well, of course. Why did I even ask."

Finn smiled then cleared his throat. "So, uhm, I guess there's really no point to expect anything?"

The brunette worried her lip then nodded. "I thought…I thought we could rewind and continue where we left off, but it didn't feel the same, Finn. I shouldn't…I shouldn't have made you think there was a chance. Well..", Rachel sighed. "I thought there was still a chance."

"How do you know there isn't anymore?"

"Because this is my life, Finn. Look around us. You never wanted this life. But we blocked it out before because we were so…we were so in love. Can you honestly say you see yourself living here in Manhattan?"

Finn sat down next to Rachel and sighed. "No, I don't. I like it in Ohio."

"I know. I've come to realize, that not everyone has big city dreams. And that's okay. It's not a bad thing, is it?"

The tall boy quirked the corner of his lips upwards. "No, that doesn't make us less than the others. It just makes us more…relaxed."

The brunette chuckled and nodded in agreement. "It can be quite taxing here."

"I bet. I can't even get through the subway without my life flashing before my eyes."

"Okay, that's an exaggeration."

"Maybe, but you get what I mean, anyway. It confuses me."

"I do…Or maybe Quinn would understand it more. She lived through the system for years."

"She did?", Finn asked with a look of admiration.

"From Bronx to—", Rachel sat up and tilted her head before chuckling. "Okay, so that's where she's been hiding all this time."

Finn furrowed his brows and Rachel smiled at him. "Sorry, it's nothing. Just a eureka moment, that's all"

"So, uh, does this mean you're getting back with her?"

The diva pursed her lips and shook her head. "I've done enough damage to her, Finn. I don't think I still have the stomach to just waltz back in her life and hurt her again."

Finn nodded. "Just…out of curiosity, what exactly made you two break up?"

"You"

"Me? But I di—"

"More specifically, me believing I wasn't over you."

Finn frowned and blinked several times. "That's some complicated situation. I mean, you were together for three years. How could you have…so for three years you just pretended to love her?"

There was a certain tone of disbelief in Finn's voice and if Rachel didn't listen closely, disappointment as well.

"That's not possible, because you do love her", Finn continued. He wasn't getting it. He had a hard time comprehending how something that should have been so simple, was so complicated.

"I thought I still loved you, I deluded—tricked myself in believing that because, I guess, I felt that I didn't have much choice but to let you go. I felt guilty because I felt I was the cause of her accident. Then I found out she had feelings for me long before that. I kind of connected the two. So…yeah."

Finn scratched the back of his head. "So…do you love her or not?"

Rachel smiled. Sometimes, it's just really about answering the simple questions. "I do."

"So why did…", he pointed to himself then Rachel. "You know, last Christmas."

Rachel sighed in exasperation. "Because I got confused. I tried to win her back but she just kept fending me off. And you know me.", she shrugged.

"Afraid of being alone?"

"Yeah", she said with her head hung low.

"Well…at least I got to see you perform."

"Finn, I'm really, really sorry. I could have dealt with…everything in a better way."

"You were scared. I get that. Can't say I'm not disappointed. But I'll live."

"So..what..what are you going to do now?"

"I take my flight back to Lima tomorrow", Finn chuckled. "We're still going to be friends, right?"

Rachel nodded. "I think we'll always be friends, Finn."

"That's good to know."

"Finn, do you think Quinn still loves me?"

"Yeah…yeah I think so. That kind of love doesn't go away easily."

"What kind of love?"

"Did she like taking the train?"

Rachel frowned. She had no idea where Finn was zeroing on the subway again. "No, not in particular."

"You can't really make Quinn do anything she hated with a passion. But, she took the subway for three years even if she probably suffered so much, just so she can go home to you, everyday. That's a special kind of love. Not everyone will be willing to do that."

"You wouldn't?"

"If I were claustrophobic like Quinn? I most probably would not."

Rachel's eyes widened and gasped. "I can't believe you remembered she's claustrophobic."

Finn threw a lopsided smiled. "Yeah, well—", he then narrowed his eyes at Rachel and leant forward. "You totally forgot about that, didn't you?"

Well, if Finn's subway analysis of love is correct, she still had a chance with Quinn. The only problem is she didn't trust herself anymore. She didn't trust her jealousy and possessiveness or her insecurities. She sometimes wished Quinn was not that attractive or smart. And judging from the last time she saw the blonde, she looked more gorgeous (when the brunette thought it was impossible already). She had to remind herself that those hypnotic hazel eyes once looked to her and only her. That despite the world's attention directed to the blonde, Quinn only paid attention to her.

Quinn always kind of did.

Pornographic drawings and all.

She missed those days. Not the drawings, of course. Just the attention.

But more importantly, she missed seeing Quinn smile.

She missed being the reason behind that smile.

She doesn't have to be the sole reason. She doesn't even have to be the primary reason.

But she just had to try and make it up to Quinn one more time.

It's either they become friends again or she won't find closure.

If she tried to move on without making this right, it will just be the same old story. She will hurt another soul because she won't stop obsessing about Quinn.

Most importantly, she needed to make amends with Quinn because she knew how much she had hurt the blonde.

She took out her phone. This is it. All or nothing.

"Hey, you."

5 minutes…20…59…

"Hey, yourself."

Rachel wanted to cry. She had never seen such a beautiful text message.

"Busy?"

"Not anymore. Done cooking."

"Oh. What's in the kitchen?"

"A very impatient Santana. Emily's running a bit late."

"Just the three of you?"

"No, we're planning to have a foam bubble party later. With lots of strippers."

"Sounds appropriate for the occasion."

"Highly. How about you?"

"Just having dinner with some NYADA people."

"And you're texting me? That's rude, Miss Berry."

"They're arguing whether Hugh Jackman is gay or not. I don't really care either way."

"He's gay."

"But he has a wife, and kids!"

"And I slept with Puck and got pregnant. Your point?"

"Okay, I may have lost the argument right there."

"Hugh Jackman aside how's dinner so far?"

"Pretty good, I guess."

"They forgot you're vegan, huh?"

"Not their fault though. I should have reminded them."

One…five…ten…

"I have some vegan shepherd's pie, if you want"

Rachel almost choked on wine while reading the message, but the arguments on who's gay in Hollywood was too heated for anyone to notice. She chewed her lower lip and thought of a good response to that.

"Why do you have a vegan dish?"

"I'm trying to eat healthier."

"That's good to know, Quinn."

"Yeah, so do you want to have some? No one deserves to be hungry on Thanksgiving."

"But how will I eat it?"

"With a fork."

"Hilarious. I meant, how will I get it from you?"

Rachel sighed. Another long delayed reply. It's like Quinn wanted to kill her with suspense.

"Where are you? I'll pick you up"

Rachel breathed deeply.

"It's quite late to take the train, Quinn. I don't want to put you at risk."

"I'm driving."

"You're driving again?"

"Yeah, I started a few months ago. I have a car, so it's fine. Where are you?"

"But what about Santana and Emily?"

"I think they'd be happier with me gone."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh. That's right. You don't know. They're dating."

"Your ex-girlfriend is dating your best friend."

"She was never my ex-girlfriend. Look, do you want to be fed or not?"

"Yeah, I do. Park and 38th Lexington"

"Okay, give me an hour."

It was the longest hour of Rachel's life. She had a good sense not to text Quinn while driving of course so she had nothing better to do than tap her fingers on the table. Kurt finally noticed the diva's anxiety and nudged her. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing", Rachel said while she smoothed out her dress.

"Nothing, my foot."

"Okay, fine. I would need to excuse myself in approximately 10 minutes because Quinn's picking me up."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Quinn as in Quinn Fabray?"

"Do you know any other Quinn?"

"Don't sass me, you know what I mean."

"I sent a text message earlier…you know, just to check if she's alive and all."

"And how did it skip from that to Quinn going all the way here for you?"

"I told her I couldn't eat the food here because it's not vegan-friendly. She said she had vegan shepherd's pie so she's bringing me some."

Kurt furrowed his brows. "So she's dropping off food."

"No, she's picking me up."

"No, you said, she's bringing you food."

"No, she said she's picking me up."

Kurt tilted his head looked at her skeptically.

"I'm not imagining things, Kurt." She scrolled down to look for the message then showed it to Kurt. "See?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "Interesting.", he drawled out.

"No, it's not. This is just us trying to be friends, I'm sure."

"Right, like you two can keep your hands off each other."

"That's not—" Rachel looked down when she felt her phone vibrate. "She's here. I'll just sneak out, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll cover for you."

Rachel went on a stealth mode then actually ran down the stairs. She saw a black sedan parked in front and a blonde waving at her from the driver's seat. "Get in", Quinn grinned widely.

Her stomach back flipped for a second. Is it safe for Quinn to drive?

And just like that, Quinn read her mind. "I'm good. I've been driving for some time now."

Rachel smiled bashfully then nodded before getting in. "This is quite comfy", she noted while adjusting her seatbelt.

"Thanks", Quinn mumbled as she started driving. She drove at a steady pace without taking her eyes off the road. "You can actually talk to me, Rachel.", she chuckled.

"Oh", the brunette giggled the bit her lower lip. "I just…I don't want to distract you."

"Talking's not much of a distraction to me. Texting is."

Rachel smiled widely. This is huge progress for Quinn. "Okay, that's good to know."

"…So where exactly are you taking me?", Rachel frowned.

"I'm taking you this café in Greenwich. Ever heard of Cornelia Street Café?"

"No, I don't think so"

"Not your thing, huh?"

"Why? What's in there?"

"Poetry and spoken word nights and jazz music mostly."

The first thing Rachel noticed was they didn't go in right away because Quinn turned busy on her phone. A young-ish man came out and motioned them to follow him.

"Who's that?"

"The manager"

"You know him?"

"Santana does. This place is usually strictly reservation"

"Usually"

"Santana Lopez becomes the exception. Homegirl likes poetry, who would have known?"

"Homegirl. Quinn, stick to your elegant language."

"Fine, fine."

They entered a bi-level café and went straight to the performance space downstairs. It was one long candle-lit area with the seats located on two sides leading to the stage. Quinn offered Rachel the cushioned seat while she took the chair directly in front of the brunette. "We'll have two glasses of Autumn in New York, water, and uh, fork.", Quinn nodded at the waiter.

Rachel leaned closer and whispered. "Are we allowed to bring in food?"

"No, I don't think so.", Quinn answered while taking out a Tupperware from her bag.

"Then, put that back"

"No, I won't. If they kick us out for that reason, they'll hear it from Santana."

Rachel chuckled. "Homegirl, huh?"

"Yeah", the blonde nodded.

"We could just order here, though. I'm sure they have vegan selection."

"Yeah, but I already made this", Quinn pouted. "I didn't actually plan on bringing you here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I thought we could just have dinner back in your apartment. But, I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that."

Rachel gave a small smile and nodded. "I appreciate the honesty. Speaking of, do you think we can work on the transfer of lease? We've been lucky so far, but I don't want to, you know, push it."

"Yeah..", Quinn nodded. "Yeah, we'll work on that. I'm sorry it took a long time"

"It's fine", the brunette smiled. "So, uh", she breathed in, "how are you?"

Quinn smiled back then waited for the server to leave their drinks. "It's been good. I got a research assistant job, and I've been volunteering at a local church-ran youth center. In Bronx", the blonde nodded once, "that's where I'm located now."

"I sort of figured that out. You'd want to be near Fordham. So, you found a church you feel comfortable in?"

The blonde shook her head. "No…I mean, I just volunteer at their youth center. I teach kids, who were victims of abuse, painting, drawing, stuff like that. I haven't really gone back to church though."

"Well, it's really nice that you're giving your time for to help out."

"Yeah, it really feels good. Uhm, you?"

"Same old. NYADA. I haven't gone back to auditioning because school's been crazy."

"I can imagine. You're graduating this year. Time flies."

"And my life is still filled with uncertainties", Rachel laughed.

"You chose the road of the artists, deal with it", the blonde playfully retorted.

"I am, I am. Not everyone can be Miss Academia, you know?"

"Well, I could have been in theatre too if I went to Yale."

Rachel's smile faltered then stared at Quinn. "Do you…regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Not going to Yale…because of me"

Quinn sat up straight and tilted her head and pressed her lips before slowly breaking into a smile. "I don't."

A/N:

Once again, thanks for all your insightful comments/opinions/reviews.

To the readers who don't agree with the storyline or have lost interest (prolonged angst and all) or don't like the story at all, thank you for your comments and for the fact that you still gave it a try. I do appreciate it a lot and I will think about the things you pointed out for my next fic .(since it is a bit late to change courses now for this story) :-)

As for Brittana, I am such a huge fan of this couple it's bordering on ridiculous so I get the disappointment and no need to apologize for insisting on it (yes, sandwichself, I'm talking to you ;-) ). (Why I can't start to write Brittana fics: because honestly, I can't see any friction. Can we all just agree they are perfect for each other and will live happily ever after, canonically speaking?) Unfortunately, unless I find a way for Santana to move to California (because I personally don't see Brittany in New York), their relationship as far as this fic is concerned reached a plateau a long time ago. And more importantly, all events in this story affect Quinn and Rachel directly, so I didn't keep Emily for vanity's sake but because she, and her relationship with Santana are instrumental to the extremely clueless couple we all love.

I was being facetious when I said that there would still be angst on the next few chapters. I am honest in saying the last chapter is a transitional chapter. Less angst, more fluff from now on.

And to Anonymous27: And here I am thinking no one would notice that itty-bitty incident between Rachel and Andrea. LOL. There's always the character that's clueless and loses out to everyone in every story. Sorry, my weird sense of humor took over.