Thank you for reading the first chapters and all your reviews, it means a lot! Thanks again and please enjoy this chapter.
It had been a month since Matt had had the accident on the job. They had finally removed the neck brace. Matt was hopeful it would finally mark the start of his recovery, but when the neurologist said he was still stuck in bed, he had been really upset.
His hands were slowly getting better. He was getting upset it was taking so long, but everyday it felt like he could move his thumb and the rest of his fingers just a bit more, and even though his hands were too weak to really hold something, it was a change, and he was hopeful he would be able to use his phone and do easy things with his hands again. With all the physical therapy he was going through, he was seeing a bit of improvement, but he wished that it was more.
Gabby had gone back to work, and even though she felt bad to leave Matt alone in the hospital, it was necessary, as they were getting behind on rent, and the last thing she wanted was for them to get on the bad side of the CFD. Even though she worried about the rent, she was also a bit worried they were going to have to leave this house when Matt was coming home. Even though that seemed far away now, it was something she thought about.
Now that the function in his right hand was getting better, he managed to make voice messages for her and send them. He was nowhere the level of typing but pressing the button to record something worked with some help from the hospital staff, and she was happy that way they could stay in touch.
Especially now that she was back on shift, she was glad that he sometimes send her something. It made her feel a bit less bad about not being with him. She was sitting on her bunk, having breakfast. Usually she would have it in the common room, but she had just arrived and she knew that the first thing that they would ask her was how Matt was doing, and it was not really what she wanted to talk about right now.
Yesterday before she went home, he had been in a lot of pain again and she wanted to send him a message but wasn't sure if he would be able to see or hear it.
''Dawson, Boden wants to see you in his office.'' Connie walked up to her and Gabby got up, walking to the office.
Sitting down, she had already expected the first question that was asked.
''how is Matt doing?''
''Bit better every day.'' Gabby said. Even though she knew that was true, it did not always feel like that but the last thing she wanted now was go into detail about it.
''I went to the CFD again. I have a good feeling about Matt keeping his job, but I can't assure it yet.''
''Thank you for all the effort.''
''They are still doing a report on him and how the accident could happen, and you know he ruined radio protocol.''
''I know.'' Gabby said, looking down. She really hoped that it would be okay, but she also knew that there were things the CFD could use to have Matt on the chopping block.
He and the therapist worked hard every day and he got excited when Gabby came by and he could finally show her something they had worked on. It was hard to control the muscles in his hand but with some splints he could finally put the right pressure on the muscles.
Today he was finally allowed to sit up for a bit and he tried to be excited, but with his neck still sore he was also a bit scared about how it was going to go.
The last few weeks only Kelly and Gabby had been around him. Now that he was slowly allowed to sit up he was hoping that he would finally be okay to have other people around. As much as he wanted them to support him, even Gabby and Kelly couldn't look at him without looking pitiful and that was the last thing he wanted to deal with.
One of the nurses brought him a lift to get him out of bed and he tried to sit up himself as much as he could, but it didn't work at all and even though he got upset, he knew he had to keep going so that he could finally sit up. It seemed so simple, but everything was so hard now.
His therapist helped him as they got him from the bed and into the wheelchair. He hated that wheelchair for all that it encompassed, but he also believed that he could do it, that he was going to walk again and wouldn't need it.
It was hard to sit up now that he could not move his stomach or chest muscles.
He was just sitting up, struggling with keeping his neck straight as Gabby came walking in.
''Oh you are sitting up!'' She said to excited, kissing him on his cheek. He was sitting ab it unstable and it was hurting his neck, but he was so proud he was sitting up now that Gabby came in.
''it feels good to finally sit up.'' Matt smiled. Even though he was not sure how long he was going to keep this up, it was nice to finally be out of the bed.
Even though his neck was still very sore, it was great to feel like he was improving, and Gabby was smiling happy at him as well.
''See, it is all going to work out.'' She smiled. She knelt down by him and slowly he managed to move his arm her way. She laid her hand over his.
''See, you are getting there.''
''I know.''
Matt sat up for a few more minutes, but it was getting too much then. With some help from the staff, they got him back on the bed and Gabby grabbed one of the pillows she took from home, stuffing it in his neck to make sure he was comfortable.
''Anything else I can do?''
''Can you get that pillow for my arm?''
She nodded and took it from the table beside his bed, laying it under his arm and Matt was looking at his hand, slowly moving his thumb.
''Soon you will be able to text me again.'' Gabby smiled, kissing him on top of his head.
''look who finally got dressed.'' Kelly joked as he walked in and saw Matt on the bed, finally out of the hospital gown but changed into his own pajamas.
''Feels good to finally change.'' Matt joked back as his friend sat down.
''I'll get us all some coffee.'' Gabby said as she got up and walked to the hallway.
''I just sat up.'' Matt smiled proud at Kelly.
''That is great.'' Kelly said as he sat down.
''Few more minutes every day, hopefully will get to sitting around longer again in a while so that I can get used to living in that chair.'' Matt said, although he hoped that would not be the future.
''Here you go.'' Gabby handed Kelly a cup of coffee, sitting down next to Matt then with hers, where she was usually sitting.
Kelly and Gabby told a bit about the shift. Evne though Matt hated that he could not work on shift either, he was glad he was kept up to date. He knew that everybody wanted to see him, but he did not want anybody to see him like this. He knew that at one point he had to let people see him, and he was getting lonely, but he did not feel ready.
Kelly left soon and Gabby decided to stay a while longer. Food was served and he didn't even look at it.
''You need to eat.''
''I don't want to.''
Only since two days they had gotten him of the feeding tube and he had to eat with help now, but he did not want to, the last thing he wanted was for Gabby to have to feed him.
''Matt, we are married.'' She said a bit worried.
''That is exactly why, I am not even feeling we are husband and wife anymore, just nurse and patient.'' Matt said a bit sad. The last month she had not been away from his side, and as grateful as he was, it made him think about how their marriage was going to be from now on. Even though it was too early to completely know how he was going to recover, he was scared this was how their marriage was going to be.
''Are you okay?'' Gabby asked as she saw tears well up in his eyes.
''My neck really hurt again.'' He admitted, and she wasn't sure what to do. She really wanted to help him, but besides medication, there was not much she could do about the pain.
''Need me to get somebody?'' She asked a bit concerned.
'''Well I mean… I can't do it.'' He said a bit annoyed and Gabby pressed the call button.
She had put it closer to his hand last week, but even when he had managed to push it with his elbow he couldn't move his arm off, and it had kept the whole floor awake. Now he refused it again and she felt bad he could not even get somebody to help him when he needed it.
A bit annoyed with his temper she walked out of the room again. She couldn't blame him for being upset with everything every now and then, but it was hard because she felt she couldn't really complain to anyone.
Walking back in, he was moved a bit and he looked a bit more relaxed, so hoped he had gotten painkillers to help with his neck.
''You know what I have been thinking about?'' Matt asked then and she shook her head.
''That it is good we lost Louie…I mean, I mean imagine if he had to go through this too.'' Matt said, his voice breaking.
''Matt..''
''it is true though.'' He said biting his lip, looking out of the window then. The last few months they had still been thinking about a family, and it was all out of the window now.
Gabby's eyes filled with tears as she thought about Louie.
''Why would you mention him now, he has nothing to do with this?'' She asked as she started to cry.
''Sorry Gabby, I just thought about it.''
''Maybe don't, or don't mention it.'' She sniffed and he tried to reach out his hand.
''Sorry, you are right, I should not have said that.'' Matt said and he felt bad. It was just something he had to think about. They had seemed like such a happy family then and he still missed Louie so much, but the idea that he would have to go through this as well made him a feel a bit better that he was with his own family now.
''I am going to go.'' She said then, kissing him and leaving.
Matt looked as she left, feeling bad about what he had said. Laying here alone and not being able to do much, he felt so bad for thinking these things, but he could not help that these things popped into his head sometimes. He had a lot of time to think, and it was not the best things he was thinking sometimes.
Looking at the food that was still on the tray table, he closed his eyes. He hoped it would get better, with his body and between him an Gabby. It had been one accident, but now the consequences of it where so big.
Gabby sat in the car, not sure if she was going to go home or not. The last few days she had tried to sty positive between being on shift and with Matt here, but it was starting to feel really bad that she could not so much to help him, nor to make him feel better.
It was getting lonely at home and even though she tried to see people, with Mat there and work, it was hard to see people outside of work.
She drove to her brother's house then, hoping that she could talk with him. Knocking on the door, he opened the door then.
''Hey, mom said you were concerned about me.'' She said and he nodded.
''I am so glad to see you Gabby.'' He sighed as he moved closer to her.
''I honestly just really need my big brother.'' She said sad and Antonio wrapped his arms around her.
''Come in little sis.'' He said and Gabby did so. She saw down on the couch and Antonio grabbed her something to drink, sitting beside her then.
''Really glad to see you.'' He said as he sat down beside her. ''I didn't want to bother you and Matt and mom said you might need some space.''
''Thanks for giving that – Matt…Matt wants the space…and he doesn't want anyone near him.'' She said, really struggling with what was happening to them. Now after a month reality was setting in and she wanted her family near her, even if Matt still refused it.
''I know it is rough for you both, I am really sorry you both have to go for this.'' Antonio said. He knew neither his sister nor his brother in law was to blame for what they were going through.
''He doesn't want any support from anybody and he is pushing everybody away. I really need somebody to tell me it is going to be okay.'' Gabby admitted, so glad she finally could talk again with somebody that was not Matt. Even though they tried to talk, it was not the same.
''It is going to be okay Gabby, you and him are strong together and you have gone through a lot of hard times, I know you can get through this too. I am here if you need me.'' Antonio promised her.
''This is not how I had imagined our marriage, and it is hard, he started about Louie and I realized that we might never have a family if he does not get better.'' Gabby bit her lip.
''How is he improving?''
''He sat up for a few minutes today, his hands are slowly getting better with therapy, but it is all touch and go pretty much. One day he can do more than the other. He still believes that he will fully recover…and I want to too, but it is has been a month, and for now I just hope his hands and arms get better.''
''I am really sorry Gabby he deservers better, and I hate to see you having to go through this too.'' Antonio said. Gabby started to cry and Antonio pulled her against him.
Even though Gabby knew nothing was going to get better this quick, she felt a bit better having this support from her brother.
She just hoped that she and Matt could support each other, and he would let other people support him.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought!