Hurt, anger, frustration, disbelief, disappointment and confusion were a few of the emotions that went through Beca's mind after het visit to Chloe.
She needed time to proceed everything that happened.
Beca couldn't understand why Chloe had done this to her.
Maybe it had something to do with the nickname she had been given at school. She knew they called her the Lesbian Gothic Queen behind her back. She didn't know who started with that or why.
She never had kissed anyone on her whole life. And Chloe basically stole her first kiss even though it wasn't a kiss on the mouth.
After she left Chloe, she didn't go home. She needed time to think. So she went to the woods.
When she sat under her favourite oak tree she took a deep breath. Normally she didn't do emotions or feelings. But this whole event had overwhelmed her. And for some reason she had to analyse her feelings.
She was hurt because she never thought that Chloe would do something like that. Despite everything she had thought that they were some sort of friends. You didn't do something like that to your friends.
But why was she so angry? Was she angry at herself for not doing anything? Or was she angry at Chloe for what she had done? She honestly didn't know why she was so angry. Probably a bit of both.
She knew exactly why she was frustrated. It was because somehow she let Chloe get under her skin every time the two of them were together. It didn't matter if they were alone or when other people were around. When it came to Chloe, her plans never went the way she had wanted.
And then came the disbelief. She couldn't believe that Chloe actually had the nerve to do something like that. She knew that the redhead hadn't any concept of personal space. But even for someone as Chloe this went to far.
She was disappointed in herself. Disappointed that she didn't react fast enough to stop it. Suddenly a realisation hit her. She was disappointed that it didn't last longer. Disappointed that she got up and left.
Her disappointment turned into confusion. Without realising she brought her hand to the spot where Chloe had left mark. The events played again in her head. She had liked it. When Chloe's lips had touched het neck, she had moaned.
Holy fuck! She had liked it! What the fuck did that mean?
This revelation about herself took over all off her other emotions. She needed to think about this. She probably needed to talk about it to.
And then it hit her. She couldn't face Chloe anymore. Chloe had heard her moan. She probably thought that all the rumours about her were true.
She couldn't talk to Stacie about it either. She really loved the tall brunette, and they were friends for as long as she could remember. But there were certain things she couldn't discuss with anyone.
She needed to figure this one out on her own. She needed to find out what the fuck all of this meant. So she just sat there. Her mind went thousand miles an hour.
When it started to get dark she went home. She went straight to her room and plopped onto her bed.
She didn't want to talk or think anymore. But she couldn't stop her mind from replaying everything that had happened that afternoon.
The next day she didn't go to school. She didn't want to see anyone. She knew she had to face the redhead at some point, but not now. It was to soon. And she certainly didn't want to see her best friend. So she avoided everyone. She just shut everybody out like she had always done. It was the easiest thing to do.
The only thing she couldn't shut out were her own thoughts, emotions or feelings. No matter how hard she tried to do it. Every song she listened to reminded her of what happened. When she closed her eyes she could clearly see what had happened in Chloe's bedroom.
Her thoughts drove her crazy and she didn't know what she had to do to stop it. She didn't want to think anymore. But some higher power decided that she needed to torture herself.
After three days of skipping school and avoiding everyone, Stacie had paid her a visit in the woods.
"You need to talk to her Becs. She is just a mess like you. And you can't avoid her forever" the tall brunette had said.
"Fuck off, Stace. You don't know what you're talking about" she had answered.
"I know everything. Aubrey texted me."
"Since when do you and Posen text?"
"Since she and Chloe had a fight about what happened. And she was worried about you when you didn't show up at school" Stacie said.
"Great! So now the whole school knows what happened? It's probably all over Facebook?" she asked her friend.
"No, only the four of us knows what happened. But your little disappearing act doesn't exactly help the situation. The whole school is speculating about what happened."
Beca rolled her eyes at those words. Of course, everybody would be speculating about what happened to their favourite royal couple.
Wait what? They weren't a couple. Or where they?
This wasn't helping. The whole situation just confused her more.
"I really think you should talk to her" Stacie said after observing her friend.
She left Beca behind with more questions than answers.