Ch. 22 Bella POV
"First off, go change you diaper since you seem to be shitting yourself. Second, the balls in my bed belong to your hottie neighbor Edward, which I'm mad at you for never introducing me. My good luck chucks are my favorite purple chucks that bring me luck, until I met the devil and he ripped them to shreds along with the couch."
"He fucking did what? He ate the couch? Well that's just fucking perfect Bella. You're being mean to him and he is rebelling since you are a biotch and call him names. He understands you know. Oh, and what up Eddie? What possessed you to hang out with my sister? Actually I don't even want to know, but look Edward. Can you hang around until I get back since my sister is fucking retarded and can't comprehend animal care?"
"Bite me Sasquatch."
"Edward where is my dog?"
Edward spoke up and said he was sleeping in Roses closet.
"Dude get him the fuck out of there, Rose will cut my balls off."
"Oh she already will," I piped in "he ate bitch Barbie's Manolo's."
"Bella I am going to kill you. Rose is out of the shower but you better take my credit card out of my underwear drawer and buy Rose the exact same pair of shoes and replace the mother fucking couch. You have until Sunday at 7 p.m., Bye."
After that lovely conversation Edward and I finally settled down and watched the movie, we both started to yawn and before I knew it we were out.