Disclaimer: Bates Motel belongs to A&E
Norma pulls off her car at the side of the road, unable to contain the tears blurring her vision since she left the hospital.
"Is it fatal?"
"Eventually." Dr. Walter answered in a discreet yet sympathetic tone.
She buries her face in her hands, pressing against the wheel, hating herself for being cold still to Alex even after knowing he's sick. She did check in on him, but just from afar, didn't dare touch him or at least wait for him to wake up. It's not her indignation for what he did that hinders her for doing so, but the fear of losing him permanently. And the thought of Alex not mentioning anything to her about it, shatters her even more. His devotion and concern for protecting her is so intense that he completely forgets about himself.
He's had it already. It was cured after several treatments. But when mild symptoms started showing up again, he refused treatment. He can be so stubborn sometimes. It's not because he holds the title of being the Sheriff of White Pine Bay but because he simply hates going to the hospital. The last time he got the chance to see his mother was at the hospital, when she was rushed after finding her hanging inside her closet. It's a trauma for him. He's gotten worse. Dr. Walter's words about his condition keep haunting Norma. He needs her this time. But Norman needs her too. So torn of the thoughts that she has but choosing over them is not a prerequisite for her to do.
Norma parks her car beside the motel at its usual spot. Norman is at the office when he sees her arriving, looking devastated in an unfamiliar way. He comes out approaching her.
"Mother, is everything okay?" He asks worriedly as she gets out of the car.
"Yes, of course honey." She responds in a timid voice, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards in a tight smile, trying to avoid conversation. "Norman, why don't you get dressed? Let's just eat somewhere tonight, I don't feel like making dinner." She continues, the exhaustion apparent in her tone.
He studies her for a moment. She had never said something like that before, never been this way, suddenly losing all enthusiasm for being in the kitchen. Besides, he knows she'd rather eat late after cooking than eating unhealthy fast food somewhere else. She also hates not having Norman eat her own home-cooked meals.
She rolls her eyes at Norman's intense gaze on her. "Norman," she shrugs casually, "I've been busy doing a bunch of stuff around here the whole week. And I ran into-" she stops, taking a deep breath before she mentions Alex's name and possibly having a meltdown in front of her son. "I'm just tired, honey. I know you're used to eating my food, but come on, it's just for now. In fact, it wouldn't be so bad if we did something new for a change." She manages a small smile. He nods in resignation, running up to the house as she watches him.
When Norman finally gets back, they drive to town as silence consumes them. Norma's thoughts are still fixed on Alex. She longs to open her mouth and talk to her son about it but the voice inside her head stops her from doing so, aware that while Norman might feel sorry for her, he probably couldn't care less about Alex.
As soon as they find a simple diner, they settle themselves as the waitress approaches them to take their orders.
"I'll just have a bacon and cheddar cheese sandwich." Norman smiles politely at the lady, turning back to his mother.
"Uhmm... Can I get a pesto pasta salad, and an iced tea, please? Thank you." Norma hands back the menu smiling, after the waitress wrote down their orders and goes back to the kitchen.
Silence suffuses the atmosphere between them, until Norma breaks it. "Norman," She begins, "I think we should go Christmas shopping tomorrow. We should decorate the house a little, you know. It just looks so dull. You wouldn't want to spend Christmas that way, right sweetie?" She chuckles softly.
"Yes, I think we should do that, Mother." Norman just nods, studying her face.
"Do you remember when you were little?" She simpers, looking pleased with herself at the thought of making Norman remember one of the few happy times in his life, "You were always so excited about Christmas. You almost couldn't sleep at Christmas eve, waiting for Santa to give you the present you thought you deserved because you had been such a good boy the whole year..." Her eyes sparkles at the memory of seeing how happy her son was.
And finally, Norman gave in, as he chortles which appeases her.
They both reminisce every part of their lovely holiday together that give them such buoyant feelings as they talk the whole dinner time. Norma could never forget when Norman gave her a present, for the first time. It's a snow globe that has a tiny woman in it with her piano. "Because you're happy when you play your piano, Mommy. I want you to be happy." Her heart swells with happiness whenever Norman expresses how much he loves her. He's the only good thing that ever happened to her, she would always think. But sometimes, when she's not blinded by her own love for him, it terrifies her that she might be wrong... that Norman could also be dangerous to anyone… even to her.
"I can't wait for us to put these in the house." She smiles from ear to ear, eager to drive home after doing their Christmas shopping. It will be a busy day for her and her son, decorating and beautifying their house and the motel. She's been looking forward to it since the night before, knowing it would somehow distract her.
But there's no way she can escape everything. As she was looking through the drive way, she sees someone familiar in her peripheral vision. A man in his sheriff uniform. It's Alex. She closes her eyes and sighs heavily, loud enough for Norman to notice.
"Mother, what is it?" Norman asks inquiringly.
"Nothing. I just forgot to buy some new linens." She bites her lip, looking away before he can discern it as another excuse to cover up her torment. "Don't worry, I can get it some other time." She continues, focusing her attention back to the drive way.
"Okay." He mumbles, not quite believing her.
After a few minutes of driving, Norma decides to stay at the motel office assuming there'll be costumers checking in since holiday is so near.
Working already after being admitted 42 hours ago? Stubborn.
She shrugs, shaking her head in irritation. If they weren't yet separated, he knows she won't let him work right away. If. The thought of no one taking care of Alex when he needs it, distresses her. It cuts her in half. She wasn't able to sleep well last night. She kept on thinking of him, how hard everything must be for him. Truth is, she wants to take back those words she spoke to him and let everything that happened slips in her hand. But she doesn't know how. She's not good at this, mending the bond of torn hearts; she's never done it. Not with Sam. Not with John.
The familiar sound of an engine reaches her ears, and she panics, casting her glance at the door she left open.
"Hey." Alex suddenly appears in the doorway with a handful of documents. He moves towards, almost hesitatingly, and hands it to her. "I signed them already. You can come to my office and give them back when you're-..."
"Okay." She cuts him off frantically, nodding as she sucks in a breath. An awkward silence fills the room. She looks him in the eye, the way she used to. Wounded. Damaged. It drowns her. The misery builds inside her as she finds herself wishing she could come to his rescue the way he would have done for her. If only.
Alex clears his throat as he turns around and walks towards the door.
"Alex..."
He stops.
Why did I do that?
What should I say?
What should I tell him?
Her thoughts keep running.
Alex, I don't really want us to end. Not this way.
She closes her eyes for a moment as she thinks about what to say, "I'm sorry-..."
"Yeah." He cuts her off, not wanting to hear what she has to say and not even bothering to look back at her as he walks away, leaving her behind. He gets in his SUV without another word, and drives away.
As Norma opens her eyes, the tears finally spill from them.
"I miss you, Alex."
TBC...