Sorry I took so long to update had a lot going on but it's finally here, hope you guys enjoy it!(^_^)

Season 5

Episode- "Free To Be You And Me"

Castiel stood in Dean's motel room asking for Dean to help him find and trap Raphael. Dean stood over by the sink looking at Castiel, "You're serious about this?" he asked. Castiel turned to face him, "Yes." Dean started to walk towards him, "So what you're Thelma and I'm Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?" Dean asked sarcastically as he walked. Castiel didn't reply he just stood there staring, confusion swimming in his bright blue eyes. As usual he didn't understand Dean's reference but he did like the idea of he and Dean holding hands.

Dean sighed, "Give me one good reason I should do this." He walked past Castiel and started fiddling in his duffle bag. "Because you're Michaels' vessel and no angel will dare harm you." Castiel stated. Dean looked up at Castiel, "Oh so I'm you bullet shield." Dean asked a little offended. Castiel sighed, "Dean of course not you know I would never put you in danger…"

'I love you.' Castiel added in his head, he had to nearly bite his tongue to keep it from coming out with the rest of the sentence. "Dean please I need you're help because you're the only one that will help me." Castiel pleaded. He stared at Dean with those intense blue eyes. Dean stared back Castiel was so close to him Dean could almost feel his breath, 'Wow he has beautiful eyes' Dean thought then he mentally slapped himself for it. 'Cas is a guy you can't think like that about him!' he scolded himself. "Dean.." Castiel called and Dean realized he had been staring . "Alright fine, where is he?" Castiel smiled at him, "Maine." he raised two fingers to teleport himself and Dean there but Dean stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa…" he pushed Castiel's hand away, "Last time you zapped me someplace I didn't poop for a week…we're driving." Castiel didn't like the slowness of a car he preferred angel travel but it would allow him to spend more time with Dean and that thought made him happy. He was actually very much looking forward to the ride now.

…...

Dean and Castiel sat in the old rundown house. Castiel had just told Dean how little his chances of surviving were. " So last night on Earth, what.. What are your plans? Dean asked. Castiel thought about it for a minute, he would really like to spend his last night with Dean but he thought saying that may freak him out so he settled on, "Just thought I'd sit here quietly."

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "Dude come on anything, booze…women…" Castiel looked at him nervously then averted his gaze. Women was the last thing he wanted. "You have been with a woman before or an angel at least?" Dean questioned. Castiel blushed he hadn't, nor had he ever wanted to, and he never felt embarrassed about this fact until now.

Castiel shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck, " I never had occasion ok." he stated wishing Dean would change the subject because Castiel's cheeks were getting redder by the second. It was then that Dean declared he wasn't going to let Castiel die a virgin. Suddenly he grabbed Castiel's arm, his heart leapt. He thought Dean was leading him upstairs to the bedroom but they turned and went out the door to the car. Castiel felt both relieved and disappointed as they got in and started to drive.

…...

Castiel and Dean sat in a booth at the brothel, scantily clad women were everywhere walking about. Castiel sat there with a look of sheer panic on his face. He didn't want to be there and he didn't want his first time to be with some strange woman. He looked over at Dean and he was positively glowing , grinning from ear to ear as he watched the women walk by. 'At least he's enjoying this.' Castiel thought. Finally Dean turned to look at Castiel and noticed the look on his face, "Hey relax."

"This is a den of iniquity I should not be here." Not long after Castiel said that a woman in white lingerie strode over. Her name was Chastity and Dean all but threw Castiel into her arms. She lead him to the back into one of the rooms. Once they were inside she closed the door and lead him over to the bed. He sat down, she took the money out of his hand sat it on the night stand next to the bed, then sat down in his lap. "You're really tense, is this your first time?" Chastity asked as she started to undo his tie and the top buttons of his shirt. "Yes." Castiel replied shakily.

She smiled at him, "Guess I'll just have to make it extra special then." She started to kiss up his neck until finally reaching his lips. They laid back on the bed still kissing, Chastity was on top of Castiel and started nibbling at his ear. Castiel wasn't enjoying this at all, he didn't want to be there, and he didn't want her on top of him. Finally he decided he'd had enough, he sat up and gripped Chastity to keep her from falling backwards as he did so. "I can't do this." he said as he picked her up and sat her on the bed next to him. Chastity was complete caught off guard by his strength. Just looking at him he didn't seem like he would have the upper body strength to do that. So she just sat there for a few seconds blinking, finally she spoke, "What's wrong? I'm not good enough?" she sounded defensive.

"No, no that's not it, you're very beautiful." Castiel complimented her and she smiled. "It's just that…" He paused "I want my first time to be with the person I love." he finally admitted. "Aww that's so sweet, and I'm fine with just sitting here and talking." She flashed him a sweet smile. "I get to keep the money though." she quickly added. "Of course." Castiel nodded he didn't know why Dean had given him the money in the first place. She got up took the money off the night stand, stuffed it into her bra, then rejoined him on the bed.

"So you wanna tell me who this person is?" She asked referring to who Castiel was in love with. "His name is Dean." Castiel blushed slightly he had never admitted out load that he loved Dean to anyone but Anna. "Oh, so why don't you tell him how you feel?" She placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel shook his head, " I can't I don't want to ruin our friendship besides I'm sure he doesn't feel the same." Chastity sighed sympathetically, "Well don't worry if you're meant to be together, you will be." she smiled at Castiel and he smiled back. He hoped she was right.

A minute or so passed then Chastity spoke again, "I guess we better get back up to the front." Castiel nodded in agreement and stood , "Yes Dean will be waiting." He started to head for the door. Chastity grabbed his arm, "Wait that guy you came with…that's Dean?" she questioned. "Yes." Castiel stated simply. "Wow he's handsome you're really lucky!" she stood up from the bed. Castiel just smiled and started to reach for the door again. Chastity grabbed his hand, "Hold on if that's Dean we can't just go back out there…" Castiel eyed her curiously, "Why not?" he finally asked. "Because we've been back here a good while he'll think we've been doing you know what and you want him to think you're still fresh for him right?"

Castiel hadn't understood at all what Chastity was talking about but the last part was what confused him the most so he decided to focus on that, "What do you mean fresh?" Chastity laughed, "You know still a virgin." she said in a hushed voice. "Oh." Castiel blushed as he finally got what she was talking about. Chastity took notice of his blush and giggled, 'He's so cute!' she thought. She placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry I have a plan just follow my lead."

Dean was sitting at the bar talking with a woman in black lingerie when he heard a scream from the back. 'Oh no.' he thought and rushed to the back knowing almost certainly that scream had something to do with Castiel. He was proven right when he went through the back curtain and was confronted with the scene of Chastity yelling at Castiel. After she stormed off Dean walked up to Castiel, "What the hell did you do?"

Castiel shrugged, "I don't know…I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off, it was because he hated his job at the post office." He lied as Chastity had instructed him to do. Seconds later to muscular men in black shirts started towards them. "We should go…come on." Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and dragged him out the back door.

Once they were safely outside Dean started to laugh like crazy. Castiel smiled at him, "What's so funny?" Dean threw his arm around Castiel's shoulder, "Nothing…" He smiled whole heartedly and they started to walk to the car, "It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard." Dean removed his arm as they got closer to the car. Castiel felt a little sad, he was really enjoying Dean holding him. He was happy to see Dean laughing and cheerful though even if he didn't exactly understand why.

…...

They pulled up to the house in the Impala Dean complaining because Castiel's summoning spell hadn't worked. They got out and headed in the house. Immediately Castiel sensed something was wrong. "Dean wait!" He grabbed Dean's hand and pulled Dean behind him protectively. Raphael appeared in the middle of the room bolts of lightening shooting from his back and blacking out the room. Castiel knew Raphael wouldn't hurt Dean but he still felt the need to protect him.

Raphael turned and glared at Castiel, "Castiel… it is a testament to my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now." Castiel gulped. Dean spoke up, "Or Maybe you're full of crap!…" He paused when Raphael glared at him but then he got his courage back and continued, "Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you!…By the way hi I'm Dean."

Raphael's frown didn't waver an inch, "I know who you are Dean Winchester, Michael's vessel and Castiel's…lover." Castiel's eyes widened and so did Dean's, Dean was about to say something but Castiel spoke first, "We are just friends!" he stated almost too defensively.

"Oh really? I wasn't aware that male friends held hands." Raphael stated in his usual dry emotionless tone. It was then that Castiel and Dean looked down and realized they were indeed still holding hands. Castiel blushed and reluctantly let go of Dean's hand. Dean felt a slight sadness when Castiel had let go of his hand he didn't understand why.

"Where is He?" Castiel asked trying to change the subject. Raphael laughed, "Who God? Even if I did know what makes you think I'd tell you?" he stepped forward slightly. Dean pulled out his lighter and stepped from behind Castiel, "Because we knew you were coming." Dean threw the lighter down and a circle of flames surrounded Raphael.

"Now tell us where He is." Castiel demanded. Raphael just stood there calm as ever. "Dead… He's dead." he finally spoke. Castiel went pale, "You're lying." he said, voice trembling. "Oh am I? Do you remember the 20th century, think the 21st is going any better, you think God would've let any of that happen if He were alive?" Raphael crossed his arms.

Castiel just stood there in silence, the thought of his Father being dead made him sick. Castiel could hear Dean and Raphael going back and forth in the background but he was too caught up in his own thoughts to pay attention. Through all the back and forth one sentence did manage to stick out, it was Raphael saying that they were living in a Godless universe. Suddenly Castiel felt as if he wanted to cry, he batted back the tears. Raphael blowing out the windows finally brought him out of his semi trance and back to reality. Castiel almost gave in to believing Raphael when he thought of something.

"If God is dead, why have I returned, who brought me back?" Castiel yelled over the wind and rain that whipped around them. Raphael seemed to be un-phased by Castiel's question, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" he said smugly.

Castiel tensed up, "No." Anger coated his usually calm voice. " Think about it he needs all the rebellious angels he can find, you know it adds up." Castiel scowled. Raphael was right it did add up but Castiel was unwilling to accept that answer.

He had enough, Raphael wasn't going to help them and this little conversation was only serving to upset him more and more by the second. Castiel turned to Dean, "Lets go." he turned to leave the house. As he did Raphael warned Castiel not to leave him there but Castiel didn't pay any attention to Raphael he just stormed out of the house.

Dean followed quickly behind, when he got outside he looked over at the car. Castiel was already sitting inside, head in his hands. Dean ran over and got in quickly he was getting soaked just standing there. Castiel looked up when he heard the door open then he quickly turned to stare out the window, trying to hide the tear stains that trailed down under his eyes. Castiel's effort had failed though Dean did notice and he wanted to say something to comfort his friend but he thought it would be best to wait until they were safely away from the house. With all that rain whipping around who knows how much longer that circle would hold Raphael.

…...

Dean sped down the road, they had been driving for a good while and were far from the house. He looked over at Castiel, "You ok?" He asked but Castiel didn't answer. "Hey who cares what some ninja turtle says Cas, I mean there where plenty of times when my dad was missing and all the signs pointed to him being dead but I knew in my heart that he was still alive. So forget what he said what do you believe?" Castiel smiled at Dean's attempt to comfort him. "I believe He's out there."

"Good then go find him." Dean looked over at Castiel. Castiel was about to leave then he paused, "What about you?"

"Me?" Dean questioned. "Honestly I'm good, I can't believe I'm saying that but I'm really good." This wasn't the first time Dean had been on his own. "Even without your brother?" Castiel asked he was still worried Dean would be lonely. Dean sighed, "Especially without my brother…" The silence in the car was heavy, Dean decided to lighten the mood, "Besides if we spend too much time together the rest of your family will find out we're dating too." He looked over at Castiel and winked.

Castiel's eyes widened, "We…are...wait what?" his heart started to race did Dean actually like him. Dean laughed, "Relax Cas it's just a joke."

"Oh of course." Castiel tried to hide his disappointment. He sighed inwardly of course it had been a joke Dean would never really love him he thought sadly. "I had better get going." Castiel said and disappeared before Dean could reply. Dean just sat there he hoped his making that joke hadn't scared Castiel away he knew the angel was totally clueless when it came to humor.