MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans
SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.
RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.
Most of this chapter is, in all intensive purposes, a bitch fight. I find them very entertaining, and like making funny remarks when I'm in them.
Read, review, you know the drill.
"You're not dead."
"What an exceptional observation," I replied sarcastically to Marlene's obvious remark.
Miranda smirked, however. "If I'm not mistaken, she seems a little bit more than alive. She, dare I say it, is happy."
I looked at my accuser and frowned. "I'm certainly not happy. I'd never be happy in a situation like this. But at least he's not a total prat when it comes to his responsibilities."
"Come again?" Alice said, dumbfounded at my commending statement.
I rolled my eyes and pulled my robes closer around me as we rode to Hogwarts. The night was unusually chilly and my shivers nearly had me in convulsions.
"Hehe, she looks funny. It's like her eyeballs are rattling," Miranda said, pointing at me.
Oh, sometimes I really could not stand her.
The towers looming above us, the chariots slowed to a stop and we gathered our belongings. I couldn't wait for the feast and my warm bed; it had been quite a long day and I was eager for it to end.
A blast of warmth came as we entered the dimly lit Great Hall. So many bodies were pressed together that it was impossible to feel the remaining cold from outside. I shoved my way through and slowly made progress toward the house tables. Once there, I plopped down and looked at my empty plate expectantly. I continued staring for several minutes, solely concentrated on the porcelain plate (and, hopefully, the food that would soon be filling it).
"Dinner, I'm starving. I'd like some chicken, yeah?"
I looked up across the table and saw a, once again, grinning Miranda. However, the smile disappeared and turned to utmost horror once Sirius Black sat down next to her. Letting out a huff of air, she scooted down a seat. He followed. She scooted. He followed...
I chuckled at their antics, and heard another laugh come from next to me. Turning around, I realized that James Potter was sitting beside me. I sniffed haughtily, but decided not to scoot down a seat. I didn't want to repeat Miranda's show of immaturity.
He was obviously thinking the same thing, because he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If you move, I'm moving with you."
See? It's not even worth it to attempt running away anymore.
"Oh, shut it. The only reason why I'm staying here is because I know it's hopeless to avoid you. But, seeing as we made a pact, it might be a bit more tolerable."
"That's my darling Lily Flower!"
"Say that again and all previous promises will be broken."
"That's my-"
"I said, shut it."
James smiled at me and I reluctantly smiled back. When did he get that dimple?
However, there were soon more distracting subjects than unexpected dimples. Because, lo and behold, two of the most unwanted characters in history were turning their steely gazes toward me.
Eva Kimble and Jane McCleef were already on the prowl, and something told me that I was going to be their first victim. Maybe it was instinct, and intuition, from the flashing glares they were sending in my direction. Perhaps it was a haphazard prediction from the years they'd spent tormenting me. But I knew, just knew, that they were coming for me. My suspicions were confirmed at once as an unnaturally sharp stiletto began to step in my direction, followed by another, and another...
And all the while, Potter just rattled on about his summer, under the impression I was paying attention to him. However, he obviously didn't see the dire situation forming in front of me - I was the one that needed the attention. I didn't just need attention, I needed HELP.
C'MON, JAMES! THERE IS A LADY IN DESPERATE NEED RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
"Lily? Are you hyperventilating?" Now that's more like it.
"I am in fact hyperventilating, James," I said, panicking as the two frightening girls came closer. They were staring- no, glaring. Ferociously.
The year hadn't even started yet! Why, oh why were they directing their moody PMS symptoms to me?
"Lily, red alert; two terrible, terrible people, just three meters away." Miranda's voice appeared right next to me, urgent and aggravated.
"Yes, Randy, I know that," I responded huffily, using her much abused nickname.
"Do NOT call me RANDY!"
"Well, that's alright then, love. I'll just call you Randalicious instead," Sirius said, appearing next to Miranda once more, stealthily slipping an arm around her waist. Her pupils dilated, making a very interesting effect with her different colored eyes. "Oh, no," she whispered. "Quick! Brutes! You, James and Sirius, get away! Go with your Marauder friends!"
"But-"
"NOW!"
James and Sirius shot us very confused glances before sauntering off to their buddies; at this, both Eva and Jane gave us sneering smiles before turning in the opposite direction to the boys who had just left our sides. I heard Miranda give out a small "phew" and I turned to see her, her expression and posture as if she had just fought a battle of a thousand nights.
"A tad overdramatic there, don't you think?" I asked her.
"The drama was effective and very well needed. Think about it; we've only been here for what, fifteen minutes? And to have those two clawing our eyes out at this time would be a record. If there's ever a time for me not to be feeling rebellious, it's right now. Plus, it killed two birds with one stone- we got rid of the prats."
I nodded and had to admire Miranda's quick, albeit odd thinking.
Alice and Marlene came up from the crowd, Alice looking cheerful and Marlene a little disgruntled.
"What's up with you two?" I inquired.
"I'd like to say the same. Eva and Jane are glaring daggers at you from over there."
"Oh, yes, we're quite aware of that- extremely aware, in fact. We just got rid of a potential start-of-year bitch fight."
"Admirable."
"That's my name," Miranda responded, grinning.
I sighed, shaking my head. The sad thing was, the name Miranda did indeed mean "admirable".
"So, you never told us why you guys were held up," I said. "What, get cornered by some Slytherins?"
"No, Alice just came across her lovely boyfriend Frank," Marlene said with all the annoyance she could muster. "It was a public snog-fest that I really wish I hadn't seen."
Miranda laughed openly at Marlene's situation, and I smiled sympathetically. Frank and Alice were in love, true love, and it was slightly intoxicating to see them around each other.
"I thought you two saw each other over the summer, though," Miranda piped up.
"What's your point?" Alice said dreamily.
"Don't pay attention to her, she's lost in Ga-ga land," Marlene muttered to us. I giggled.
Nearly all the students were settled down by now. Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling as always behind the half-moon spectacles, peered at all of us with a certain fatherly fondness. He stood up and everybody immediately quieted, looking at him with expressions of either solemnity or hunger, depending on whether they were eager for his speech or eager for the feast.
"Welcome, all, to yet another year of Hogwarts- and welcome the new batch of first years. I hope you will find it very accommodating in the castle, and look forward to your new classes. We have several announcements to make before we get to the feast that, I'm sure, all of you are waiting for," Dumbledore started off. I nodded in agreement.
"Now, of course, there are several rules to be enforced. For obvious reasons, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden and I trust that you won't wander there this year. Mr. Filch also has several new objects on the 'banned' list, and if you wish to read it you may take a look outside his office. Curfew, banned items, and disrespect are common mistakes made here, and to enforce these rules and keep the school as best as it can be, we have two new Head students." I flushed with pride. Miranda snickered next to me and it took every ounce of my will power not to slap her.
"Ms. Lily Evans and Mr. James Potter-" several gasps were heard throughout the hall "-yes, I know, it might be a surprise-" plenty of laughs echoed around the stone walls "-will be here to assist you.
"Now, I think that is all- welcome back to another year, and tuck in!"
As the dishes began to appear along the table I attempted to grab anything within reach. Miranda wasn't much better than me, but she was picky. She had nearly taken the whole bowl of rice before I stopped her and tugged it out of her reluctant hands.
"Rice-stealer," Miranda muttered.
"Pig," I said simply.
"Speak for yourself. Pass the steak, would you?"
I rolled my eyes at Miranda's odd eating habits but handed her the plate anyway.
"I thought you'd gotten rid of them!" Alice hissed to me. It was only then that I realized that Eva and Jane were, once again, heading in our direction. I shrugged and went back to my meal, still ravenous.
"It's no wonder they're so huge, look at how they eat." The cruel sniggers interrupted my food-scarfing process,
I looked up from my food and raised a questioning eyebrow. From beside me came Miranda's smart remark: "It's only-" she checked her watch "-45 minutes into the new school year. As far as I know, we haven't done anything to make you even remotely annoyed."
"And what pleasure do we owe to you that you come to us?" I added.
"Can't miss an opportunity," Eva said, smiling devilishly. She flounced over to me and put a bone-thin arm around my neck. Peering closer at her, I realized that she didn't look so good. She was even a little skinnier than usual.
Showing an unusual amount of concern, I offered her my chicken leg.
She promptly slapped me and said something along the lines of me ruining her new and effective diet, and then went on into a rant that had everybody in a 3-mile radius staring at her as if she was stark-raving mad.
Two things happened after this, and it was so fast that I could hardly hear more than this:
"You're such a bitch, you and your SLAGGY friend Miranda Goshawk, how dare you-"
"Er, I can sense something coming on. Anything I can do to help?" James had magically appeared, securing me with an arm around my waist. I didn't feel very comfortable plastered up to James' person- for some reason, I kept on getting shocks. But no matter how I struggled, he kept his tight hold and I couldn't break it.
Eva's eyes widened, then narrowed. I could've sworn her irises were red at this moment.
She lunged at me, attempting to claw my eyes out, but James held me even tighter than before.
Miranda rose from her seat, shaking a turkey leg in Eva's general direction. She looked slightly mad. Next to her, Jane grabbed the chicken leg and threw it down Miranda's shirt.
An earsplitting shriek, a blinding flash of light, and then a tentacled, red-spotted Jane appeared in front of the whole school. With a few more simple flicks of her wand, Miranda had Jane dancing an Irish jig, quick little limericks spilling from her lips.
Needless to say, I unwillingly gave my first detention of the year.
However, very willingly, I handed one out to Eva Kimble too.
Soon to be updated. REVIEW! Takes 15 seconds at the most.
-.x.