MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans
SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.
RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.
Disclaimer: J.K.R.O.W.L.I.N.G. What does that spell? Not me!
I'm back! I had fun writing this chapter, and it's very interesting all in all. It's like a hyperbole of some of the suck-ish days I've had. Except not at Hogwarts...damn, wouldn't that be awesome?
Read and review!
Have you ever woke up in the morning of your own accord, then groaned and fell off your bed?
It's on mornings like that when I know for sure that the day's going to be hell.
After being introduced to the warm, cozy Head dorms last night, James and I had gone our separate ways without much to say. There had been pleasant, slightly awkward chit-chat, and I sensed that something new was beginning to boil. This year was going to be different.
As if on cue, the difference started on my first day of NEWT lessons, foggy and gray with the metaphorical rain clouds following me to and fro.
I am an early bird. I wake up at 6:00 to get ready, carefully setting my alarm for just the right time. However, this morning I woke up to a horrendously cheerful "Morning Lily flower!" that I oh-so-intelligently decided to ignore. To add to the confusion and misery, I finally woke up again at 8:00, giving me one hour to brush my teeth, take my shower, and eat breakfast.
Screaming with early-morning rage (it sounded more like a mad bullfrog's croak), I tumbled out of bed and dashed around my room, slamming my trunk once I had picked out my uniform. I headed towards the Head's bathroom, still furious at my tardiness, and swung open the door to find a whistling James tousling his hair in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
I nearly fainted again.
Clutching the doorknob, I managed to get out "Sorry, sorry, I'll come back later..." before feeling my face go up in flames. I slowly shut the door and leaned against it, trying to calm my wildly raging hormones.
Merlin, that boy had such a body...
ACK. NO. YOU ARE LILY EVANS, AND YOU DO NOT FEEL A MILLILITER OF ATTRACTION TO JAMES POTTER. THAT IS VERY, VERY, VERY, AGAINST THE RULES!
Rules? What rules? But my delirious mind was interrupted as the door I'd been leaning on struggled to be opened. I shot straight up, forgetting that my clothes were on my lap, and saw James come out of the bathroom, this time fully dressed.
"Fancy seeing you this morning," he smirked, then glanced down at his feet where my white, lacy bra was lying so innocently.
I groaned.
"I'll get that," I whispered, mortified. Picking up my clothes that were strewn all over the floor, I resolutely marched into the bathroom, closed the heavy wooden door, and slid onto the cold tiled floor. What a start! I should've known from the beginning that the first day was doomed.
"Morning," Alice grumbled as I slowly slid into my seat next to her. "You're extremely late."
"Yeah, I know that," I whispered to her, still embarrassed and slightly paranoid of the next thing karma would throw at me. Marlene looked incredibly sleepy, like Alice, but Miranda looked like Christmas had come early. She was bouncing up and down in her seat as if she were a toddler waiting for the horde of presents sure to be delivered by the beloved St. Nick.
"Why must you be so mean? Stop jumping," I said grumpily while she continued to bounce up and down.
"I had chocolate. I had a feeling today was going to be hell, so I ate my entire stash of Honeydukes'."
I gawked at her, staring at her with wide eyes. "Miranda, you're going to be higher than Merlin's hat today," I said. She nodded up and down eagerly. I could do nothing but sigh, so I did, and then went back to my waffle.
"Get a good glance this morning, did you, Evans?" James Potter slid into the seat next to me, whispering seductively in my ear. I froze up and felt the regular blush creeping up on my cheeks. Curse my fair-skinned genes.
"That wouldn't have been a problem if you had just locked the door!" My voice was a bit louder than I intended it to be and everybody around us heard. James grinned devilishly.
"So, Evans, liked what you saw this morning?" he announced to the entire hall.
No! You said that too loudly! Now everybody's staring...
The only way to react to this was my witty comment. Waiting for my witty brain to come up with said witty comment, I opened my mouth.
Damn, no witty comment. Just that awful blush.
So, in the absence of the witty comment, I just slapped James' arm. However, it wasn't very effective, and he continued to smile at me. Now everybody was laughing.
"You're a stupid twit. And for your information, it's not like I meant to walk in on you. As I said before, it was your damn fault you didn't lock the bloody door," I said, the witty comment finally making its way out. In retrospect, however, it wasn't very witty.
"You shouldn't curse, Evans. It ruins your innocent appearance. And don't pretend that you didn't appreciate it," Potter said, throwing an arm around my shoulder. I immediately shrugged it off.
"You are very, very bothersome, and I am this close to hexing you into the next millennium. Care to push my tolerance further?"
Sirius plopped down next to the jumpy Miranda and began to inhale the pancakes on his plate. "You might not want to, Prongs. She looks like she's about to blow up," he remarked.
"Sirius Black!" Miranda shouted. We all stared as she jumped into Sirius' lap. Sirius, however, looked pleasantly surprised.
"Hello, my lovely morning glory," he said, a wide grin beginning to spread across his face. Then he looked up at us. "Who gave her crack this morning?"
"Nah, she's under the influence of Honeydukes' best," Marlene said, her fork missing her mouth because of her sleepy daze.
"Oh well, you don't see me complaining," Sirius said, the grin now plastered on his face and seemingly irremovable.
Alice groaned and whispered in my ear, "They're both going to do something they're going to regret."
"That's for sure," I answered.
And at that very moment, Miranda placed a kiss right smack on Sirius' lips.
"And that is our cue to head on out of here!" James said, rising from his seat and beginning to walk into the great hall. Disgusted, Marlene, Alice, and I followed him. But before we could leave, Jane McCleef stomped up to the snogging couple and proceeded to pry Miranda off of Sirius, then slap her across the face.
Feeling a sense of déjà vu, I watched another explosion of light and this time saw a polka-dotted, boil-ridden Jane, singing Phantom of the Opera at the top of her lungs.
I once again shelled out the necessary detentions.
Potions is no good.
Don't get me wrong, I'm ace at it. I even out-potion slimy, smelly, Sev.
But, however, subjects tend to make me unhappy when:
a. The professor flirts with me.
b. When said professor claims that I belong in the worst house known to Hogwarts.
c. When said professor pairs me with arch nemesis, James Potter.
I might be exaggerating a bit. He might've gotten a bit better. At least it's not Snivellus.
We were working with acids today, and he had given us warnings (about 53 of them).
"Remember, when you mix the essence of wolfsbane and the acromantula venom, you will get an undiluted, highly dangerous acid that you must handle with extreme care!" Slughorn announced for what seemed the millionth time. "It is a spreading acid and, unless you want to become a pile of cinders, do not on any circumstances get any on your skin!"
"And remember, acromantula venom is highly valuable stuff that took a lot of effort and galleons to get. So please, please don't waste any," he continued, shaking his head sadly while watching a small silver drop fall onto the floor, creating a small, perfect circular indent in the stone.
"Hello, my dear Lily flower. May I be your partner on this fine day?" James greeted me, nearly apparating over to where I'd set up my cauldron.
"No, Potter, bane of my existence. However, you can accompany Sirius Black over there," I responded lightly, beginning to prepare the potion ingredients.
"You see, Sirius Black already has a partner. Your hyper little friend Miranda Goshawk has claimed him as her own."
"Chocolate has no good influences on anyone."
He smiled at me and said, "But I thought it was a woman's prerogative."
"It might be our right to pig out on it, and it may be stereotypical, and it may be the best thing to ever bless this God damn earth, but there's such thing as too much of a good thing," I retorted.
James began to get closer than was really necessary and bent down, whispering, "I don't think that's true. I've never had too much of you."
I replied calmly, "Crappy moments are at my heels, so I'd appreciate it if you found your partner and left me alone. Remus is open, isn't he?"
"Nah, partnered up with Peter."
"Why am I not surprised."
"You should know by now, Lilykins. And seeing as-" he counted the heads in the room "-we're the only ones without partners, it looks like Fate brought us together."
"It also looks like Fate desperately wanted you injured. Work alone, if everybody's taken."
"JAMES!" Slughorn's voice boomed over the quiet simmering of the cauldrons and the murmuring of voices. "Please, get started on your potion!"
"You see, sir, I'm afraid I don't have a partner," James replied innocently. I narrowed my eyes.
"Nonsense! Lily there is right next to you- she'll be an awful lot of help to you, and you couldn't find a better potioneer in this class." Slughorn beamed at me. I could see Snape bristling with anger out of the corner of my eye.
"Of course, my dear, lovely, heavenly professor," I muttered flatly. I moved my stuff with slightly robotic movements and waited patiently for James to gather his books and bring them to the desk.
"Hey, I can't be that bad, right?" Potter said, throwing me a quick glance.
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Depends."
"Then I'll stay silent for now."
He grinned at me, and I smiled back reluctantly. However, this little action only caused his grin to widen and his eyebrows to wiggle. I rolled my eyes in response and picked up the acid mixture I had just created.
And that's when the Laws of the Bad Day got to me. I knew they would eventually.
The vial, full to the brim of acidic liquid, cracked slightly at the bottom for who knows what reason and a small, smoking drop seemed to fall in slow motion.
Onto my skirt.
So, what do you do when you're holding a cracked vial of acid, tolerating an Annoying Potions Partner (let's call them the APP), and watching your skirt slowly but surely disintegrate?
Why, you dump the acid carelessly into the cauldron, throw the vial onto the table, and hyperventilate. Then you desperately shake the APP's arm.
Finally, the APP catches on.
"Merlin," James whispered, his eyes widening as he watched my skirt disappear.
"Don't just stand there and stare, you fool! Tell me what to do!"
"You're better at potions than I am! Don't you know how to get rid of acids?"
"I don't deal well under pressure! Acromantula venom can be countered with a simple solution...water! Some water! Merlin, James, HELP!"
The next thing I knew, I was drenched with a blast of water from his wand. Shaking my now sopping hair and shivering slightly, I took several deep breaths as I calmed myself down. I looked up to finally see the entire potions class staring at me and a bewildered (and slightly scared) James, with his wand still pointed at me. He slowly lowered it and stared. At my chest.
I cast James a quizzical glance.
"Lily, you-you're wearing a white shirt," he stuttered.
And white underwear.
Oh, Merlin, no. Oh, for God's sake!
I moaned pitifully.
"Just give me your cloak," I ordered James quietly. He quickly obliged.
"What's there to stare at?" I demanded of the rest of the class. Their eyes widened as I glared at them. "Go on! You have potions to make!"
I sighed as the rest of the class reluctantly went back to their cauldrons. James was very flushed and his hand was about to go up to his head to ruffle his hair before I stopped his arm.
"Don't," I said through my teeth. "You don't know how much that irritates me."
Looking at me in confusion, he lowered his arm. "I'm really, really sorry, Lily. I didn't know the charm would be so strong!"
I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to control my anger, embarrassment, and all the other emotions that were rolling around inside me.
"It's...not your fault. 's mine. Should've been more careful," I said, once again through gritted teeth.
He nodded and said, "You know, if you want, I could help you dry-"
"Like you said, James, you're charms are powerful. I'd rather not be blasted to Wales, thanks," I said. I managed a smile at him. "Thanks for helping. I wouldn't have wanted to go around school-"
"-without a skirt. Yeah," he finished for me, and grinned back.
So. Things were going pretty well after all.
As well as they can go for a temperamental, accident-prone, 17-year old redhead girl on a day filled with concentrated bad luck.
Yup, I've kept my promise about updating every week or so- I like this story, and like writing it. Lots o' fun.
Next chapter...Miranda finally regains her normal personality, Sirius becomes Undesirable no. 1, and Lily and James begin to kindle a new, unusual friendship. And everybody begins to notice.
Tata,
-.x.