I was nervous for my talk with Beca. She was probably the most closed off girl I've ever met. I just hoped she would come and accept my apology.
When I saw her standing on my doorstep I noticed that she was just as nervous as I was.
When she sat on my desk chair, she didn't look at me. It was like she was scared to be here. She looked at her hands, not knowing if she had to sat something or not.
So I started to apologise for my behaviour. But I didn't apologise for kissing her. This seems to confuse her. I wanted to explain it to her but I didn't get the chance.
To my surprise she apologised for leaving the way she did. And the fact that she was hiding for three days. And then she told me how my kiss had shocked and confused her.
Her statement caught my curiosity. I didn't get why it was such a big deal. It was only a kiss. And I didn't even kissed her on the lips or something.
I asked her about it, but she clearly didn't want to talk about it. She even looked embarrassed when I asked her about it. I should've let it go but I didn't. This girl was such a mystery and I wanted to know everything about her.
Suddenly she confessed to me that she never had kissed. And how embarrassed she was about the way her body had responded to my kiss.
This was the last thing I expected to hear from her. At least I could understand now why she acted the way she did.
And then I went a step further. I promised her that I would give her her first kiss someday. I don't know why I said that, but I meant it.
This seemed to scare her even more. She then told me she didn't even know if she wanted to kiss me. And that she even didn't know if she liked girls.
But I could tell she did. The way her body had reacted to my kiss, told me she wasn't completely straight. And that's exactly what I told her.
I could tell that my words angered her. But I couldn't take it back. I didn't want to.
After she left our conversation went through my head. I realised that I had meant every single word I had said to her. I really liked her. She came of as some badass girl, but in reality she was just a sweet and cute girl.
I promised myself that I would do anything to get to know her better. I wanted her to get comfortable around me. I wanted to give her that first kiss. A kiss out of love. A kiss she would never forget. A kiss that would erase the previous memory I had given her.
I didn't care how long I had to wait for her to trust me. I had fallen for her the moment she had saved me from that creepy guy.
The next few days she avoided me. As if she was scared I would do something to her. But every time we were in the same room I caught her staring at me. When I smiled at her she would quickly look away.
After a week I finally had the chance to talk to her again. We were in the gym and the coach had paired us together for an assignment.
I took my chance and asked her to come with me after school. I used my puppy eyes because I knew she couldn't resist them and she finally gave in.
When the two of us were in my room I started a conversation about music. I just wanted her to relax.
When she talked about music she changed completely. She was so passionate about it and I loved to see her like that. She had brought her laptop with her and showed me some mixes she was working on. I thought it was amazing.
She then asked me if Iiked to try it. Of course I wanted that and she got up so I could sit. She put her beloved headphones on my head. I could feel her breathe in my neck when she taught me the basics of mixing.
I wanted to ask her something about the mixing program she used and I made the mistake to turn around. Our faces were close and I couldn't help but to stare at her lips. She stared back at me and we stayed that way a little to long. I really wanted to kiss her but I knew now was not the time.
"Uhm, maybe we should continue another time" I said breaking the silence.
"Uhm yeah. It's getting late. I probably should go" she said.
She gathered her things and before I knew it she was ready to go.
"Thanks princess, I really had a nice time" she said.
"Yeah me too" I said with a smile.
"See you later. Goodnight princess" Beca said with a smirk on her face.
"See you tomorrow. Goodnight my queen" I shot back at her.
The moment she left I wished I had give in to my feelings and kissed her.