MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans
SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.
RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter! Why! You're not my property.
A/N: You know the drill. Read, review. There. I just drilled it in a bit more.
I was quite surprised this afternoon when, after lunch and during our break, James came barreling through the halls.
"Whoa, whoa! STOP, James, stop for once in your life!" I hollered at him.
He stopped.
His hair was a disaster, as if the very wind itself had thrown a wild frat party on his head; his tie was awry and his glasses were crooked and slowly sliding down his nose. His shirt was half-un-tucked and he'd never looked more frenzied before.
His appearance, somehow, got me extremely hot and bothered; I fought to hold down a blush.
"LILY!" he roared.
"What?" I demanded. "Take it easy! If you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of the hallway. It's not a very good place to start a shouting match."
"Speak for yourself," he snarled. "How many times have you done that in decades past?"
"That's exaggerating," I retaliated. "We've only been here for seven years."
"Semantics," James cut in, "but that's beside the point. What the hellare you doing here? The meeting's supposed to start in three minutes!"
"Prefect's Meeting?" I said, my tone flat and my eyes wide.
"No, the inter-house chess championship meeting."
I stared at him blankly, and he let out an exasperated sigh.
Oh. So he was being sarcastic.
"YES, the Prefect's meeting, and we're LATE!"
I nearly screamed and grabbed James roughly by the arm; together, we sprinted up toward the third floor, coming crashing into the Prefect's lounge. I tried my best to halt to a stop, but James ended up crashing into my back. The confused students drank in our ruffled appearances, scrutinizing our compromised positions. Wild eyed and gasping for breath, I managed to choke out, "Alright." Heave, gasp, sigh. "Let's start-" cough"-the meeting."
The prefects stared at us disbelievingly.
Desperately straightening my sweater and fixing my collar and skirt, I went to sit down in one of the head chairs with as much dignity as I could muster. However, a faint swish of a wand through air was heard and my chair slipped right out from underneath me.
I hit the floor with a loud thud, banging my head on the chair's edge. Letting out a sigh of frustration and rubbing my tailbone ruefully, I growled, "Who the hell did that immature little stunt? I swear, I'll grind you topieces."
"...what she means, of course, is that actions like that aren't acceptable," James interrupted, covering up my outburst. "Really, I don't see why somebody would do that in the middle of a meeting, seeing as everybody here's able to give out detentions." He helped me back up and politely moved my chair back to its original place.
"Thanks," I said quietly, blushing at my indecency.
"No problem," James responded. He had an eyebrow raised in a cocky fashion, and a smirk was beginning to appear on his face. Holding back a scowl, I conjured up a scroll of parchment, ink, and a Quick-Quotes Quill, my favorite secretarial utensil. They hovered in midair, poised to take the meeting's notes.
"Alright. So, several matters to address..."
PREFECT'S MEETING NOTES
Taken by the honorable
QUICK QUOTES QUILL
Of
LILY EVANS.
Matters discussed: Inter-house relations, improved facilities, school theater possibilities (? Likely not possible, after the Disaster), patrol schedules, and extra-curricular opportunities (i.e., tutoring, extra flying lessons, popular activities with unofficial clubs)
10/1/78
Lily Evans: Alright. So, several matters to address...at our meeting last month, we came up with several ideas that we'd like to discuss today. I wrote them down right...here...aha! *reads off* 'Patrols, oncoming goals, and...rules.' Wow, we really didn't do much on the train, did we?
James Potter: I think it was enough. So, I know that as the collected students of the Hogwarts houses, you all have ideas of what you'd like to start or continue this year. So, instead of spouting off ideas with the lot of us, how 'bout you go into groups? You can write a list of possibilities...Lily? Could you conjure up more parchment and ink?
*Swish*
James Potter: Thanks. Alright, get to work...groups of four, and don't just group with your house! Spread out.
-Interlude-
The meeting was already halfway over, and I think I was about to faint. Again.
Potter was acting insanely mature, even more responsible than me, the epitome of "snarky, prissy prefect perfection" (as quoted by Sirius Black).
So, because of his wonderful acts of maturity, I sidled up to him with an arched eyebrow and a smirk present on my face. He glanced at my expression and raised his own eyebrows, a glint of mischief appearing.
"You look evil," he stated bluntly.
"Not evil," I countered, "just curious. Did you read a manual or something? Last year you were bombing the girl's dormitories and sticking chicken feathers all over the walls. Now, or at least at the moment, you're the epitome of Head Boy-ship."
James grinned. "Who said that I wasn't still bombing the girl's dormitories and exploding chickens?"
"If that's a confession, think yourself as good as done. Alice and Marlene woke up with feathers all over their faces this morning."
"Mm. What a coincidence."
I shot him a withering look, but he merely grinned.
"If you think so highly of me right now, would you mind answering a question?" James asked.
"Can't say whether I mind. It's got to be whether or not I likethe question."
"Well, there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up..."
Unawares, I had a sharp intake of breath and my heart began pounding, blood rushing to my ears and making that accursed blush flame up around my face and neck. Was he really, reallygoing to ask me out for the first time since the year started?
And was I ready with my usual witty comment and biting rejection?
I could answer myself on that one. I was most definitely unprepared.
"Lily? Lily!"
Ooh, voices. Talking to me. I tuned in once more.
"Ehh...what?"
"I said, I was wondering if we could find a time where we can discuss the next Hogsmeade visit. You know, since that's sort of our job."
How irksome,I thought to myself, air whistling through my teeth as I let out a long-suffering sigh.
"Yeah. Tomorrow's alright with me."
"Perfect," he responded, flashing a white-toothed grin at me. I grimaced back, the blush slowly receding from my face. However, seemingly, not fast enough.
"You're extremely red, Lily."
"Oh really? I haven't noticed," I responded dryly.
"...well then, why is that?"
"Why is what?"
"Why are you blushing?"
"Was I blushing?" I said, purposefully avoiding the topic of sentence.
But my efforts were not enough alone, seeing as comprehension struck James and his expression swiftly became none other than sadistic.
"Youthought I was going to ask you out, didn't you?"
I gulped, and tried to skip my high-pitched lying voice. I ended up with a voice that shot two levels down, a distinct alto compared to my regular pitch.
"No, I was wondering...about...ants."
Quite a lie, if I do say so myself.
"I-I mean, antics, of course. The antics that Miranda's getting herself into at the moment."
I had actually not talked to Miranda for the entire day, and quite frankly didn't care a bit about what she was doing at the moment. I was still angry with her.
He looked at me skeptically and said, "Stop lying to yourself, Lilykins. Now, I have another question for you- if I hadasked you out, what would you have said?"
"I wouldn't have said anything, but done the polite-rude thing and turned away from you to attempt not speaking a word to you for the rest of the meeting. Then nobody's feelings would get hurt."
"You would've said yes."
"No, I never said that; I wouldn't have said yes, but yet I wouldn't have said no, either. It's a win-win situation."
"It's a loss for you, Lily, face it. In the long run you know, somehow, that I always win, even if I have to drill it into your 'thick skull'."
He poked at my head playfully.
"Shut it, Potter. You're coming awfully close to the cliff's edge, and I'm more than happy to push you off," I growled.
"So it's Potteragain, isn't it, Evans?"
I scowled and childishly turned my back on him, arms crossed, letting out a huff and blowing my fringe out of my eyes. James laughed good-naturedly.
Seeing this laugh as an immediate end to our banter, I called out to the Prefects, resettled my Quick Quotes Quill on the parchment, and called the meeting to attention.
-Prefect's Meeting, 10/1/78—
Lily Evans: Alright, lot! Let's get started. Hand the lists to me- I'll mix them up and read the ideas.
Kelly O' Malley: Will you be offended if we said something as a joke? You know, not a serious idea.
Lily Evans: Don't worry. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do have a sense of humor.
James Potter: Actually, I don't think that's very likely.
(Laughs from collected crowd)
Lily Evans: You shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you.
James Potter: And how exactly would you go about doing that, my dear flower?
(Distant thundering, coming distinctly from Lily Evans' direction)
James Potter: Never mind, then. Let's not go off-tangent again, shall we?
Lily Evans: Best idea you've had all afternoon. Now, 'Ivy, Jacob, Theresa, and Collin' came up with several ideas. Care to read, James?
James Potter: Let's see...'extra flying lessons for those who need them,'...namely, Lily...
(Laughs from collected crowd)
Lily Evans: I'd appreciate it if you stopped poking fun of my person.
James Potter: Poking? I've always loved that word.
(James Potter leans over, pokes Lily Evans)
Lily Evans: Stop.
James Potter: No.
(Poke)
(Poke)
(Poke)
(Explosion)
James Potter: Yeah. We're off tangent again.
Lily Evans: Let me see that list! 'flying, tutoring...inter-house groups and relations.' Excellent! We'll elaborate on that last one later.
James Potter: Now, 'Kelly, Remus, Gideon, and Dorcas' came up with..."Quidditch, facilities, community projects, and weekly orgies.' Nice.
(Group snickers. Lily Evans unexpectedly smirks)
Lily Evans: I admire your creativity. Congratulations, Gideon and Dorcas- I'm thinking that you came up with that wonderful final idea?
Dorcas Meadowes: It'd be fun, wouldn't it, Lily? And think about James.
(Group snickers)
Lily Evans: No idea what the hell you're talking about, Meadowes.
James Potter: 'Elizabeth, Xenophilius, Julie and Wendell' suggested additional clubs for activities like gobstones and exploding snap, organized field trips - there's an idea!, establishment of a theater club -
Lily Evans: Uh, maybe not, guys. Remember what happened last year with The Fountain of Fair Fortune?
(collective shudder)
Remus Lupin: Didn't Kettleburn lose an arm from that?
Jillian Lewis: Oh, the fire burned Eva Kimble's eyebrows off! That was a sight.
James Potter: What a shame, her eyebrows are fairly lovely.
Lily Evans: (snorts) How can eyebrows possibly be lovely?
James Potter: You tell me. You seem to have quite a lovely pair of eyebrows. Among other lovely pairs.
(laughter)
Lily Evans: I will slap you.
James Potter: Go ahead, I'm all yours.
Lily Evans: Some of you mentioned inter-house relations. Groups, of course, can be applied to that, but I also was thinking about maybe having a dance -
(squeals)
James Potter: No. Bad idea.
Lily Evans: Fine then, Debbie Downer. What's your excellent idea?
James Potter: Maybe a competition for school spirit, some more individual and collective house support? There are all sorts of...er...spirit-y things possible -
Lily Evans: Who wants a dance?
(Count: 18 out of 24)
James Potter: Inter-house competition? There are all sorts of excellent possibilities for that, you know.
Lily Evans: Don't go promoting your idea, market-man.
Ivy Prescott: Can we vote for both?
James Potter: Go ahead.
(Count: 16 out of 24)
Lily Evans: Maybe both activities. They seem like they'd be pretty well recieved.
James Potter: We'll look over some more lists next week, 'kay? You can try brainstorming a bit more too. Lily, would you take note of the lists on the parchment?
Lily Evans: Sure thing. I'll put it under 'Matters Discussed'.
-End-
I gulped and shook my head frantically. I had just flirtedwith Potter during the prefect's meeting, against my will. Or perhaps it had been instinct? But my flushed face and agitated feelings were pestering me. I decided to catch up with Remus and James who were a few steps ahead of me.
"Hey Lily," Remus greeted politely.
"Lils!" James cried, throwing an arm around my shoulder which I immediately shrugged off.
"Do you know who pulled my chair out from underneath me?" I asked Remus, ignoring James who was pretend-sulking in between us.
Remus pondered this for a moment. "I'm not sure, but I think it was Jillian."
I quickly defined Jillian in my head.
"Jillian: ex-best friend of Eva Kimble, the Bitch of Witches. Sucks up, gossips, lies, and will do anything to attract attention. Not very intelligent, but scheming."
Uh oh.
"Bloody bitch," I said dirtily. "Why the hell did she do that?"
"You know how she likes to suck up to Eva Kimble," Remus said rationally. "And, no offense...but..."
"Spit it out, Moony," James said, insinuating himself back into the conversation.
"Tell me what this looks like to you: two 17-year olds, one male, one female, mussed hair, un-tucked shirt, crooked glasses and messy skirt."
Uh oh.
"Wow. It really looked like we had a broom closet escapade?"
"Not to mention that you two were holding hands," Remus added.
I groaned and struggled not to fall to the floor in my current misery.
"Also, and forgive me if I'm wrong, you were flirting. During the meeting. Openly," Remus emphasized.
This time I did, fall to the floor in my agony.
Oh, what would become of me, the hypothetical Potter-stealing broom closet snogger?
Lily the Closet Slag. It had a nice ring to it. Maybe I could put in on business cards in the near future.
Tell me how you like the chapter. Review it! By the way, I'm very proud of myself for my "pairs" joke up there.
Admit it. Pretty funny.
-.x.