MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans
SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.
RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no, no, no...
A/N:
Enjoy, and review, like always. It makes me feel better.
"So let me get this straight," Sirius repeated for what seemed like the fifteenth time. "My brother, by accident, dropped a priceless Black family artifact, you happened to pick it up, and you didn't tell me first?"
"How was I supposed to know that it was a family treasure?" I said indignantly. "But that's beside the point."
"Actually, Evans, it is the point. My brother's the good son; he's not going to go dropping age-old silver necklaces in Hogwarts halls. That necklace should probably be in our Gringotts safe. He has it for a reason," Sirius explained darkly.
"I'm not sure," I faltered.
"You're not his brother. You don't know. He's faithful to...the family beliefs. He'll do anything to please them."
"Are you trying to tell me that you think your brother is working for the Death Eaters?"
Sirius considered this, his gray eyes clouding over with an unreadable emotion. "It could be true."
We both fell silent. James, who was watching over the conversation concernedly, chose this moment to speak up.
"Don't jump to conclusions, Sirius," James warned, clearly treading on thin ice with this subject. "Who knows- maybe Regulus isn't as bad as you thought."
"Or maybe he's worse," Sirius muttered, standing up abruptly and leaving James and I in the common room. We watched him head up to the boys' dorms, speechless, listening to his footsteps slowly fading away.
Sighing, James collapsed on the chair that Sirius had previously been inhabiting. "If there's one thing you have to know once you're close to Sirius," he told me, "it's that family is a touchy subject."
"I'm not close to Sirius," I said, clearly bewildered.
"You're close to me. And didn't you just have a conversation about his brother two minutes ago? Being close to me automatically means you're close to all of the marauders, and if Sirius will talk to you about his brother, then he's definitely trusting you more than he'll trust many."
I had always known that the marauders were close-knit friends, and that you nearly never saw one alone. When one was down, there always was another cheering him up; or, perhaps, helping him out, sometimes in not-so-peaceful ways. But I never knew that the Marauder's brotherly natures toward each other reached to such an extent, specifically James's and Sirius's connections.
Wait. What had he said?
...I was close to him. Huh.
"I'll tell you the truth about Sirius one day," James said quietly. "But I don't think today is the day. Enough's happened already. It's late, and we better be heading back to the Head dorms."
He was right. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly exhausted. "You lead, I'll follow. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm going to get lost. I get oddly delirious at night."
"Don't I know it," James muttered, holding a hand out and hoisting me up out of the armchair.
I had a restful, dreamless sleep that I greatly appreciated. This particular Sunday morning was bright and cheery, but seasonably crisp; the leaves were turning golden brown and scarlet, crunching beneath students' trainers as they walked the grounds. Dressing quickly, I rushed downstairs to a nearly empty Great Hall, chugged some pumpkin juice, grabbed some buttered toast (with strawberry jam, of course), and walked quickly outside to meet the autumn air.
As I walked along, who should I come across but Marlene and Sirius.
Holding hands, and, dare I say it - gazing at each other quite passionately. They stopped in their tracks upon seeing me, and an awkward silence quickly made its way into the situation.
So I said something idiotic to break the silence.
"This is shocking," I said, looking at their intertwined hands. They immediately untangled themselves. Marlene's eyes were wide, while Sirius's expression was stony.
"Are you going to ask questions?" he asked robotically.
I thought about this. It would be ideal for me and everyone else to know what was going on, as soon as possible; however, looking at the two standing so still, the leaves circulating at their feet, I decided to let it go. At least for now.
"Carry on," I said airily. "I'll be curious later."
They both nodded stiffly in gratitude, and walked along the path toward the Forbidden Forest. Shaking my head slowly to clear out the muddled thoughts, I listened to the crunch of toast while absorbing the sunlight and shivering in the wind.
As the day was so inviting, people were beginning to emerge from the double doors and venture out into the welcoming sunlight. Soon the area around the Black Lake was crowded, but I managed to nab the leaf pile underneath the beech tree all to myself. Smugly, I pulled my knees up to my chin.
Alone, and presumably unnoticed, I began talking quietly to myself in mumbling mutters.
"How could...it's got to be a trick, some sort of deceit, for sure. Marlene knows better than...but does she? Track record, the both of them, can't know for sure - GAH!"
crash.
Hopelessly dazed and confused, I shook my head to clear my sight, obstructed by my hair and the whirling leaves around me. My body was terribly sore and uncomfortable at the moment, and only after another moment or so did I realize that someone was lying on top of me.
"Get off!" I squeaked, more out of surprise than anything else. The leaves still hadn't settled, and I had no idea who (or what) was currently pressed up against me.
"Evans?" cried a voice incredulously, very close to my face.
"Potter!" I shrieked in astonishment.
The leaves had finally fallen back down, and I realized that I was in a most compromised position.
I had fallen back on my elbows at the impact of his fall from the tree, and he was arched over me, his face incredibly close to mine. I could see his eyes behind his gleaming glasses, hazel, wide and utterly shocked. I couldn't say I looked any better.
"Uhh..." he started, his face heating up in an endearing blush.
"Uh huh," I stated grimly, sense slowly dawning on my brain. "It's me. Get off. Now."
He obeyed quickly, scrambling to his feet, his hand springing to his hair and ruffling several leaves and a twig or two out of his messy locks.
"Morning, Lily," James said casually, as if he hadn't just fallen out of the tree and onto me instead.
"Are you alright?" I said, amused at his poorly disguised embarrassment. "Took quite a fall there, didn't you?"
"I'm in one piece," he reported. Straightening up, he looked at me haughtily. "May I have the pleasure of sitting beside you, dear madam?"
"You may, kind sir," I said, getting up myself. He bowed, I curtsied, and we laughed, our chuckles catching the attention of neighboring people.
I noticed Jane and Miranda, very near, arguing heatedly over something. Eva was sitting on a stone railing, looking very thin and slightly worried. However, once she caught sight of my stare, her expression turned murderous.
"Check it out," James said amusedly. "There's always time for a nice insult war." He had noticed the exchange between me and the other girls.
"I don't think early morning's an ideal time to talk to any of them," I said aloud, "but I'm curious to what's going on. I'm gonna go see." I started walking forward, only to have my arm jerked backward. James had grabbed my wrist in an attempt to hold me back.
"You're either really brave," James said, "or incredibly stupid. I think even I know enough not to talk to them if I were you."
"I'm curious," I said indignantly. "And Miranda is - or, at least, was - my friend, and she left me without an explanation. I think that could be an excuse enough to talk to them." I once again began walking forward, but James still had a tight grip on my wrist. I whipped around, my eyes narrowing.
"Let. Go," I said dangerously.
"I won't," James responded stubbornly. "If you're going over there, then I'm going with you."
"That'll just make it worse," I said.
"How come?"
The thought of Eva, James, and I all within ten metres of each other scared the pants off me. However, James seemed mighty persistent.
"Fine, you interfering busybody," I muttered grumpily.
"I'm not the one who was curious in the first place," he reminded me. He let go of my arm, but kept a close distance to me. I rolled my eyes and sighed, then began walking toward the trio.
Jane and Miranda immediately stopped arguing. Jane fixed me with a cool glare, and Miranda attempted the same but just ended up appearing guilty. She'd always been a terrible actress.
"Morning," I said casually, breaking the awkward tension. "What's going on, my fellows?"
Eva stayed silent, but glanced at James. He was studying her with concern, taking in her jutting joints and bony limbs.
"Are you okay, Eva? You seem sort of…hungry," James started, wincing once he processed his own words.
"It's my diet," Eva said protectively, but then her tone turned sweet. "It's really effective, James. I bet Lily should try it, she'd get wonderfulresults, she certainly has some to lose - "
I pursed my lips, but managed to stay silent. I could see James's eyes roll within my peripheral vision.
"I'm thin enough, thanks," I responded, then turned to Jane and Miranda. "Sorry, but I couldn't help noticing that you two were arguing from my spot over at the tree. Any problems?"
"It's none of your business, you-" Jane started.
"Jane's betraying Eva," Miranda blurted.
Eva looked at Miranda with wide eyes, but Jane feigned surprise.
"I would never do that!" she said, mock angrily. Her acting was also terrible.
"Don't even pretend, Jane," Eva said, her voice tired. She looked exhausted; there were deep purple circles underneath her eyes. "I already know. C'mon, Miranda." She stood up, and Miranda began to follow, but then she looked back at me.
"I'm doing this for a reason, Lily," she said, her voice the one I recognized - funny, kind, intelligent Miranda, the one that had the weirdest personality and softest soul. However, immediately after the phrase was uttered, her eyes went blank again and her face turned cool.
"I said, c'mon, Miranda," Eva repeated, her tone slightly angry. Miranda followed. The two walked into the castle, and Jane left in an angry huff.
"Well, that certainly was interesting," James said happily. "Thank you for forcing me to come over here."
"I never forced you to come over here!"
"Well, you wouldn't stay at the tree, so I had to follow you over here, right?"
"What are you, my dog?" I snorted.
"No, that's Sirius," James laughed to himself.
I stared at him. "I don't get it."
"Good," he replied, very content.
We stood there for a moment, watching an angry fourth year crumple up and toss her essay into the Black Lake. A giant tentacle sprang up from the depths and caught the parchment in mid-air, then launched it back toward its owner with ten times more force than before.
"Hey, Lily," James started.
"Eh?" I said, concentrating on the girl. She was now shouting indignantly at the tentacle, which looked incredibly entertained by her fury.
"Nevermind," James finished as an afterthought.
"All right, then," I said, observing as the tentacle began to stroke the disturbed fourth year's cheek. She slapped it away.
"Hey, Lily?" James started again.
"What?" I said, a little annoyed, paying close attention as the tentacle wrapped itself lovingly around the girl's midriff.
"Nah, forget about it," James finished, once again, a teasing lilt to his voice.
"I will," I assured him, the annoyance growing at his little game, turning back to watch as the squid, apparently incredibly attracted to the poor Fourth Year, dragged the girl toward the lake's shore. I gazed, transfixed, at the terrified girl's slow descent into the water. "Somebody help her!" a voice cried from nearby.
"HEY, LILY!"
"Fuck!"
Potter had grabbed me by the arm and jerked me closer. Yawning and stretching his arm casually over my shoulders, he began turning me away from the Fourth Year Tentacle Love situation in front of us.
"What - James, let go! I mean it, or I swear I'll - "
I was too busy trying to get his pesky arm away that I hadn't even bothered to see where we were headed. Before I knew it, I was launched unceremoniously into the pile of leaves from earlier.
"James! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I cried.
"I'm going to sing to you!" James proclaimed loud and clear.
"Are you out of your mind?" I screamed.
"Completely," James agreed. "But I made up the song last night, and I was looking for you today in order to sing it to you. You got so distracted by Eva and that troubled tentacle girl that I was forced to do this."
"So that explains why you were in the tree," I nodded understandingly.
"I wasn't supposed to fall on you though," he admitted.
"I guessed."
He clapped his hands, and all of a sudden the marauders materialized out of nowhere.
"What the - ?" I muttered. Sirius winked, and Remus and Peter smirked. "Are you ready for this, Lilykins?" Sirius called.
"No, I'm not! And what happened to Marl-"
"Let's start!" Sirius shouted with rather convenient timing.
All of a sudden the Marauders started up a "doo op, dee dop, doo op" in strangely catchy harmonies. They swayed back and forth, arms waving in the air, fingers snapping to the beat. Peter smiled and Remus…Remus winked.
Oh dear Merlin.
And James started up the verse.
"The weather's nice and warm, but I don't feel it, no.
I'm missing something special, but I don't know where to go
To find the one that I, I Iiiiiii...need so."
My jaw was more than dropped by now.
He had a surprisingly melodic voice.
"But there she is awaiting, underneath the tree!
Green eyes, red hair, and whoa! She's the one for me!
Don't you see, Lily? We, oh we are meeeeaaant to be."
Laughter. It was bubbling up inside of me, along with another emotion, one I couldn't quite place.
"Lily, Lily, Lily, you're my only flower.
And if it's necessary, I'll wait through every hour.
To get you, get get get you...to be miiiiine. Mine, mine mine!"
"Doo op, dee dop, doo op, doo op, dee dop, doo op doo op, dee dop, doo op doo op, dee dop - Oh!"
Uproarious applause met the end of their song, as everyone who had crowded around to witness the Marauders' musical act were beside themselves with laughter. Hoots and hollers and "ENCORE!"s met my ears, but I couldn't understand anything. Doubled up and choking on the leaves around me, I could barely breathe for the hysterical laughter escaping me.
The crowd thinned and Remus, Peter, and Sirius ambled away. James joined me in the leaves, taking a bunch of them and throwing them in the air every now and again. "So, you liked it?" James said conversationally.
"It was pure genius," I said, still chuckling. "Best prank you've pulled yet."
"Prank?" James said blankly. After a second, he shook his head and said, "Not exactly in that category, but pretty impressive, right?" His voice sounded a bit sorrowful.
"Immensely. Loved it," I assured him, trying to get his spirits back up. I leaned my head on his shoulder. It was incredibly comfortable. "Don't be sad, James. I've got no idea why you're like this. Why?"
"No reason," he shrugged.
"Tell me."
"Nah."
"C'mon!"
"There's nothing to tell!"
"Oh, there so totally is. Spill it!"
"Spill what?"
"Don't play the stupid card, just tell me already!"
"I atros evol uoy ylil."
...
What?
WHAT?
"What?" I hissed in utter confusion.
"Figure it out." James was beside himself with happiness. He had that oh-so-irritating smug smile plastered on his face. The smile that I hated. Somewhat hated, at least.
I thought for a second, and then shook my head.
"...what?" I repeated, feeling idiotic.
James sighed. "I was speaking backwards."
"You can dothat?" I asked incredulously.
"Learned," James said proudly. "It's how we communicate - Sirius, Peter, Remus and I, that is. When we don't want people to understand us."
"They don't understand you anyway," I muttered under my breath, my brain conjuring an absurd image of the Marauders in the corridors of Hogwarts, arguing heatedly in fluent Nonsense.
Maybe it wasn't as absurd as I thought. In fact, it seemed just ridiculous enough to suit that lot.
"Repeat that, then. Let me get a quill," I decided, patting myself down to see if I had the said writing utensil at hand.
"No repeats," James said sternly, that ridiculous smile still on his face. He was obviously incredibly pleased with himself; he had told me the truth, but I wasn't able to understand it.
"Tell me what it means!" I said, jumping up and down in frustration.
"Nope," he said joyfully. He tapped me on the nose devilishly, and strode off in the opposite direction.
"James! James Potter! YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANT!" But I knew my shouting was to no avail. I could even hear him singing as he walked away.
"Lily Lily Lily, you're my only flower..."
"And he just tapped me on the nose and walked away, whistling!" I shouted angrily. I was pacing quickly in the Gryffindor girl's dormitories, Alice and Marlene watching me and holding back giggles.
"It's a shame you don't have a prodigy-level memory," Alice said, smiling.
"Or speak backwards," Marlene added. "Who knew? Merlin, what a talent. Imagine if that's how you talked. And the singing, too. Wish I could do that."
"Well, anyway, that was just a fraction of my morning," I said to Alice. Marlene looked worried; she was clearly afraid I would tell Alice that I had caught her and Sirius holding hands.
"Well, I'm all ears. And I've got nothing to say about the James situation, except you two are clearly head over heels for each other," Alice announced.
"That's not true!" I cried.
"Oh, c'mon Lily, you were doing so well," Alice chided. "We were clearly already onto the 'Anger' stage of love- now you have to go back down to denial."
"We'll wait for 'Acceptance'," Marlene sighed.
I glared furiously at them. "This again? Those ridiculous 'stages of love'? Anyway, that's not the point of what I was going to say."
"Well then, do continue, dear friend," Alice said giddily.
"I will," I said huffily. "Miranda and Jane were having a fight at the lake; Eva seemed extremely tired and exhausted, not to mention bone thin. Says it's a new special 'diet', or something, and she tried to insult me in front of James. And, obviously Jane betrayed Eva."
"We already know all that," Marlene said, seemingly relieved that I hadn't spilled about her and Sirius.
"Yeah," Alice agreed. "You miss a lot, since you stay up in the head dorms; all the action happens down here."
"Well, hoo-ray," I grumped. "Why didn't you two bother to tell me, then?"
"What are we, the Hogwarts gossip mill?" Marlene asked.
"Well, now you are," I proclaimed. "I need to stay updated. So what happened between Jane and Eva?"
"Jane's been selling Eva and Miranda out to all the guys at Hogwarts. Obviously, she's jealous of Miranda for taking her spot in Eva's posse; and she's a right bitch, so I guess she just wanted to deal with Eva, too. Miranda handled it in stride, but Eva blew up; she thought Jane has said something to the Marauders, as well," Marlene spilled.
"Did she?"
"Actually, she only told Remus. Didn't have enough time to tell the others before Eva caught on. I don't know if Remus told the rest."
I considered this. "And Eva's diet?"
"We're not sure," Alice began, glancing at Marlene, "but we think she's becoming anorexic."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "As much as I dislike the girl, I think she needs some help," I admitted.
"So do we," Alice agreed, "but we're too scared to give her any."
"Then I'll help," I announced.
"No, you won't!" Alice and Marlene shouted.
"You know she already has something against you, and 'helping' her won't help at all!" Marlene cried.
"Who knows? Maybe if I help her, she won't hate me as much. It's worth a try."
"It's your life," Alice shrugged. "I don't know about you two, but I'm hungry. I'm going to get a quick bite. Want anything?"
"I'll pass," I said. Marlene agreed, and Alice walked out of the room. We watched her figure disappear down the staircase. I turned to Marlene, giving her my all-knowing, yes-this-is-about-to-go-down look. She looked at me innocently.
"Got anything to say to me?" I asked Marlene quietly. She sighed, knowing what I was talking about.
"Yes, I do," Marlene finally said. "First of all, erase all thoughts you currently have in your head, because I can assure you that they're probably wrong."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Oh, just take the fact that you're wrong for once, alright? Anyway, there's nothing going on with Sirius and me. It's just..." Marlene paused before saying, "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Because you don't want me to know?" I said, affronted. Marlene and I had been friends since the first week of first year. We had always trusted each other with everything, no matter what the circumstances were.
"No, because Sirius might not want you to know," Marlene clarified.
"Oh," I said, mulling this over. I thought back to the conversation I'd had with Sirius earlier today about his brother. What had James said? "...if Sirius will talk to you about his brother, then he's definitely trusting you more than he'll trust many."
I wasn't sure if that sentence meant much.
"Feel free to not tell me," I told Marlene, trying to sound as honest and earnest as possible. I didn't want Marlene feeling guilty (even though I knew she wasn't quite the type).
"No, I'm going to tell you," Marlene stated. She seemed to have gotten over her previous concerns. "The thing is, Sirius came to me after his big fight with Miranda the other day - you know, the one with the Bird Missiles - "
"The one that I missed," I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah," Marlene said. "Well, he's trying to get revenge on her. That's how Sirius works, you see? He doesn't go all emotional and sob-worthy on people, he just turns to defensive maneuvers. So we sorta...came up with a plan of revenge."
"Oh, kay..." I said, trying to see how this connected to Marlene and Sirius holding hands this morning.
If they didn't actually have feelings for each other, what was the reasoning there, then? If Sirius liked Miranda, and if Miranda obviously fancied him back, why'd he go and get with Marlene?...
Oh.
Oh.
"MARLENE MCKINNON!" I yelled. "I can't believe you resorted to such low, dirty tactics - "
"Entirely his idea!" Marlene blurted insistently, trying to get me to calm down. "I'm just going along with it, someone needs to put Miranda in her place - "
"But by resorting to using jealousy? By manipulating feelings? Tell me, when has a plan like that ever worked?" I snarled.
"Well, see, I'm not exactly sure when a plan like that has been executed - " Marlene started.
"Have you seen the soap-opera lives of Emmeline Vance and Fabian Prewett?" I asked her.
"Fabian? You mean Alice's cousin?" Marlene asked curiously.
"Yeah," I confirmed. "He tried using Hestia Jones in order to win Emmeline over - not only did it not work, but he was practically hexed to an inch of his life before someone pulled Hestia off his unconscious body."
Marlene winced. "Oh. That. I remember that."
"Is that what you want to happen to you?" I reasoned, trying to keep the high and mighty tone out of my voice, unsuccessfully.
"You don't understand, Lily," Marlene said. "Sirius isn't using me, for one, and we aren't going to be all public and touchy-touchy."
"Merlin forbid," I muttered.
"We're just trying to show Miranda that Sirius isn't utterly attached to her, and that he has options, as well," Marlene continued. "Miranda needs to understand that Sirius won't be waiting around forever."
I tried to process this. "So...you're just, you know, gonna show her what she's missing out on, but...not? As in, well..."
"Sirius won't always be there, and Miranda needs to know that," Marlene clarified, as I was having trouble using my words.
"Yeah," I breathed out, still relatively confused. Marlene shot me a knowing glance, along with a smile.
"Come here and hug me, you great big overreacting lump of fluff," Marlene simpered. I quickly obeyed, and we proceeded to walk down to the common room and out of the portrait hole to find Alice.
A/N:
What do you think? I've got my own song stuck in my head. Seems like a self-centered thing to happen. Review!
-.x.
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama! (Palindrome)