Ch. 33 Bella POV
As Edward and I drive home in comfortable silence.
I'm floating on cloud nine.
I just humped and pumped god's gift to man with a king size dick that will put porn stars to shame.
That was the hottest thing that has ever happened to me in my life, this far.
"Bella…Earth to Bella. Please don't tell me I fucked you retarded? I've never dated a window licker before, but I guess there's a first for everything." He said while laughing and snapping his fingers in my face.
As I hit him in the chest with all my might I say "What the hell posses you to tell that crazy bitch that your my baby daddy?"
"OWWWWWWW...Why are you pulling a Chris Brown, what hell?" Edward whines.
Without missing a beat, i finish my rant. "Do you know how long its going to take me to do damage control? Also, Who the hell said we are dating? I don't like the label and actually I like you so I'm saving us both trouble. My dating history leads to turning men gay. Getting bit and being traumatized by a baby carrot, men are not my specialty. I always end up heart broken in the end."
As he rubs the spot on his chest where I beat him he says "You need to elaborate on that statement," he said well tuning in his seat to face me.
"Fine Rihanna, you just have to know." I say waving my hands in a dramatic gesture in front of his face. I turn to face him for a second as we sit at a stop light and I just let the words spew from my mouth.
If this doesn't make him run, I may have just fucked my next ex-boyfriend.