MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Nah.

Filler.

I eyed him suspiciously from around the bookshelf. He seemed to be pretty intent on studying, a little frown etched on his face, lines of concentration forming on his forehead. Every now and again he muttered something to himself and checked over his work with the textbook.

Or wasit a textbook? For all I knew, it could've been the Marauder's Guide to World Domination and How to Annoy Lily Evans Along the Way.

(It's a highly popular volume.)

I'd been spending the whole morning trying to sneak around James, and find out as much as I could about the Halloween Feast Prank. Potter was an easy Marauder, at least for me. I could break him.

I cautiously peered at my surroundings before returning my gaze to the messy mop of black hair situated at the table in front of me. Leaning out awkwardly from the bookshelf as to get a better look at what Potter was reading and what exactly he was doing, I strained my limbs and my neck, precariously leaning out from my bookshelf at an angle.

I hung there several seconds, concentrating on James, until –

"Lily?"

To call me "surprised" would be an understatement. I let out a little shriek and, of course, let go of the bookshelf, toppling down to the ground in the oddest of ways as if I'd just been shot with a full body bind.

From the ground I saw James's head shoot up from his notes and swivel around the air, searching for the source of the small scream I'd let forth. However, as I was at present making friends with the floor and James was looking around in the air, he didn't spy my rather bruised form lying just a few feet away from his seat.

"Jeez, Evans, someone would think that you're actually up to something suspicious by the way you're acting right now."

I looked up to see Sirius Black, the one whose call had caused my disastrous plummet to the ground. "Just help me up, Black," I grumbled, reaching out a hand, which he took, chuckling all the while as he heaved me up from the floor.

"Glad to be of service," Sirius replied, still giggling a little. "So, do tell. Why were you spying on my best mate, there?"

"Research," I said in a clipped tone.

"Taking pictures for your scrapbook?" Sirius teased.

"In fact, yes," I responded. "Wait here, still as a statue, while I go fetch my camera." I proceeded to make my quick escape, but it was interrupted as Sirius flung out his arm and nearly clotheslined me.

"Hold it, Evans," Black said suavely. "You're not getting away so easily." He slowly drew me back towards him and hid me behind the bookshelf, peering around it as to see James, too.

"You're not getting a word out of me," I said stoutly. "Unless, of course, you're willing to give something up in return." I sent him a pointed look which he returned with a baffled gaze.

"No idea what the ruddy hell you're talking about," Sirius said, a voice that almost convinced me that hehadn'tbeen fooling around with my friends for more than a week.

"Do the names 'Marlene' and 'Miranda' ring a bell?" I asked sternly.

"…that." Sirius sighed, letting out a disgruntled huff. "That's besides the point. What are you doing, sneaking up on James here? Planning an attack kiss, perhaps?"

"Never you mind," I replied. "I just want to see if he's planning anything suspicious."

"Already skipped past the lovey dovey phase of the relationship, then? Moving on to neurotic overprotective mode?"

"Would you quit it with the relationship talk! James and I are friends, and hardly that, even," I hissed.

Sirius just raised his eyebrows knowingly at me. I almost blushed.

"Why don't you just give the bloke a chance for once? You obviously love him," Sirius said as if it were the simplest matter in history.

"There are no 'chances' and I do not lovehim," I disagreed haughtily. "James and I have a very level, mutually agreeable relationship. He is not anymore interested in me than I am in him."

"And you honestly believe that?" Sirius said in shock.

"Well, of course," I affirmed.

"You," Sirius started, "are clueless. Mutual, my arse. You're beginning to mess with his head, you know that? Not that you haven't already, Merlin knows he's impossibly screwed – "

"What are you rambling about?" I said a bit keener than I had intended.

"Marauder code," Sirius muttered to himself before shaking his head, then turned to me and said, "Things that you should be aware of and aren't, because of all the wastes of knowledge taking up the rest of your brain."

"Are we quite done here?" I said sardonically, upset that my spying session had been interrupted and that Sirius was confusing me.

"Not yet," Sirius said. "Why were you spying? You haven't told me yet."

"I told you," I insisted. "I just want to see what he's up to."

"…he's studying," Sirius said skeptically, than straightened up and gave this some thought. "Though that does seem to be a bit out of character."

"Something suspicious is going on!" I insisted. "And…I think you're in on it too."

"Wha - ?" Sirius frowned for a moment, before looking over at James, a look of realization dawning on his face. "Never mind, I know exactly what's up. You'll just be on your way now, then, Evans, don't waste your precious time here – "

"Sirius, no – wait – " but he was pushing me out through the library doors. "This isn't over!" I called as he succeeded against my struggles and walked back toward the bookshelves. "I still have to talk to you! About my friends! And…this!" I was waving my hands like a ruddy idiot at this point.

"Bloody gits," I muttered as I began to walk down the hallway. "Keeping secrets like a bunch of children, fools, the lot of them."

Honestly, all I'd wanted to do was find out why James hadn't been in the Head common room lately. I had been trying to weasel out information about the Halloween Feast Prank for the past few days, and while he did seem surprised and rather pleased at my misleading advances, he hadn't given me a word that could stop their hideous prank from coming into play.

I trooped back to the Gryffindor common room where I knew I could find some friendship.

"Come back so early from the library, love?" Marlene asked, and I turned around to see her lounging by the fire. "What's the hurry? Books finally given you a paper cut on your eye?"

"No," I huffed. "James still won't tell me what the prank is, so I resorted to…subtle research."

"Spying," Marlene corrected.

"Semantics. Anyway, I found out absolutely nothing, and got in a trifle with Sirius, and by the way – " I paused here and glanced at her blushing cheeks – "I have something to talk to you about. We've reunited with Miranda, and she's been cooperating most gracefully lately, as gracefully as Miranda can, at least," I tagged on at last minute. "Don't you think it's time you drop the act with Sirius before you hurt someone's feelings?"

Marlene bit her lip. "Lily, I have to tell you something."

Oh, no. I knew it even before Marlene said it.

"I'm, well. I might…might, possibly, maybe…fancy? Yeah, that's the word. Might, y'know, fancy him a tad. Just a tad," Marlene reassured me in her very Marlene-ish way.

I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Bugger! Flubber, tigerismus, polyoptical plasmius – "

"Lily?" Marlene said worriedly.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, regaining composure. "It's just this isn't the best news."

"I know," Marlene said. "I can't believe I ever did this in the first place, it's so stupid of me, so unlike me-"

I glared at her.

"Or, you know, maybe exactly like me," she admitted. "But! But! I believe we should also have Miranda spill her side of the story. You know, the whole Diggory affair and everything. We need to reconnect, blah, blah, blah…" Marlene trailed off.

"I know what you mean," I sighed. Suddenly, my eyes lit up. "That's it! We need time to reconnect! We'll just have a girl's night on Wednesday – "

"Or Thursday – " interjected Marlene.

"Or Thursday," I agreed. I smiled at the thought. "It's really what we need, isn't it?"

"Productive morning for you, Lily," Marlene said, smiling affably. "Now let's see if we can get a midmorning snack."

We chattered excitedly all the way down to the kitchens.

It was my free period, and I peered around my lonely dorm room, desperate for something to capture my attention. There were times when the Head's dormitories were an absolute bore. I sighed in frustration and threw myself onto my four poster, bouncing a bit as the mattress sprung gently.

Turning over onto my back, I gazed at the ceiling.

I've got to find out about that Halloween Prank before things get too out of hand. But Potter has been so busy lately, I haven't been able to properly interrogate him about it. Not to mention the quidditch game's coming up, so he's acting like a batty old codger and jumps whenever I try to talk to him.

Bugger. The fool. Not…no, I meant that as two separate phrases. Don't actually bugger the fool. That would be extremely disturbing.

I had to stop thinking and escape from myself. I was beginning to drive myself absolutely bonkers.

Stepping out of my suffocating room and my crazy thoughts, I slowly descended the steps into the common room to see who else other than James Potter, vehemently ripping up a piece of paper.

"Hey, Potter?" I said softly.

Clearly shocked, James shot up from his seat and his hand went immediately to his hair. "Lily?" he cried, his voice cracking and jumping several octaves.

I collapsed into a heap of giggles.

"Honestly, it's not that funny," James said indignantly.

"Oh, it's funny," I said between gasps of laughter. "You sounded like a little mouse, how cute – "

"Shut up," he grumbled, going back to ripping his parchment.

"And what are you doing there?" I said, regaining my composure and joining him on the couch.

"Quidditch tactics," he explained, and on the rips of parchment I could see tiny squiggling lines and a simple outline of the Quidditch field. The lines were moving, and appeared to me like tiny black inchworms.

"Ick," I said. "Looks like bugs."

James laughed. "Yes, Lily. That's exactly what I intended to do. My new plan, see? Distract the Slytherins with worms, it always works – "

"It's an idea," I said airily. "I could dump a bucket on them, if you'd like?"

"Would you please?" James said, sighing in exhaustion. "I'd be so grateful."

"My pleasure, my pleasure," I responded, leaning back against the cushions. There was an awkward silence, which James chose to break by putting his arm casually around my shoulders.

"Potter," I grumbled.

"Did I do something?" he said innocently, his eyes wide and doe-like behind his glasses. I could still see the mischief in his expression.

Ah, here was the Potter I knew so well!

"Yeah. Kindly remove your arm from around my person, unless you wish to live with one less limb."

"I'd sacrifice anything for you, Evans," he said easily, his fingers dancing along my back. I tried heartily to hold back a nervous tremble.

"You're gonna need that arm for the Quidditch match," I remarked lazily.

"I can throw with my left," James replied. His fingers were starting to inch lower. I pretended not to notice.

"Yeah, you'd probably end up hitting the stands instead of the goalpost – HEY!"

There was a loud audible slap as my bra strap was snapped against my back.

"POTTER!"

It was too late – in conniptions of laughter, he had vanished up the stairs of his dorm.

I was going to get revenge. The git was asking for it, and I was going to hand it to him sweetly on a silver platter.

"Complex human transfigurations are, though extremely difficult, very useful in many situations. Full human transfigurations are often looked down upon, as the one who has been transfigured loses their state of mind, and cannot return to their original form unless acted upon by another – "

This is boring

"Partial human transfiguration, however, allows one to pick up some otherwise inhuman capabilities while still having a civilized control over their thoughts and actions."

I slowly wrote down McGonagall's words, barely heeding her any attention at all. My eyes roamed around the room to find something worthy of interest, versus the lectures of my transfiguration professor.

If only her classes weren't so boring! Then I might make some progress.

My gaze settled on the window, where an unusual sunlight was trickling through the glass panes. It was an especially sunny day and I hadn't gotten outside since Sunday – I'd been holed up trying to finish my Potions, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. So far, the week had been rather stressful, not to mention my growing worries about the Marauder's Halloween prank and how James was getting more frustrated every day, as the Quidditch match was a mere three days away.

Speaking of James.

Since his incredible display of maturity in the Head Common Room, he had deteriorated to a terrible level of drowsiness, eyes groggy and hair even messier than I thought possible. He was tugging on his tie, loosening it and retying it absently, staring at the front of the room with empty eyes. His lips were slightly parted, and his glasses were slowly sliding down the bridge of his long, slender nose, the lenses catching the sunlight and reflecting in his hazel eyes.

Oh! Those eyes, like they'd captured the golden sunlight and melted in forest ponds, framed by those wire glasses, that were for some strange reason so...sexy all of a sudden. The high cheekbones and the distinctive nose - bone structure, my brain said. What beautiful bone structure. And his hair, always so messy and unkempt, looked carelessly flawless in its own miracle disaster, brushing over his forehead, looking so silky and soft.

From somewhere, I heard a loud, embarrassing sigh. The classroom went deathly quiet.

It took me a minute to register that all eyes were on me – questioning, smirking glances, and especially insinuative expressions coming from the faces of Marlene, Alice, Miranda, and…Sirius.

Wait. What?

…oops.

I had sighed! Sighed at the sights of James Potter, of all people – bloody MORON, idiotic bint! – oh, damn, now even Professor McGonagall was looking my way.

Glancing over at Potter, I realized I had caught his attention, too.

"Do you have something to say, Ms. Evans?" McGonagall asked wryly.

"Nothing, Professor, sorry," I mumbled, mortified. I tried not to notice the small smile playing on McGonagall's pursed lips.

How did SHE know?

Thoroughly humiliated and blushing furiously, I glared at my desk, imagining lasers shooting out of my eyes and boring two holes through my transfiguration notes. I tried to ignore Miranda's incessant sniggering and poking as she laughed audibly at my embarrassment.

What had come over me? This had never happened before! I had never so much as glanced at Potter and felt any such…attraction at all, and here I was, drooling over his bone structure.

No. Those were utter lies. Potter was…well. I had never denied that before, had I? His personality had just been nonsense enough to ignore the finer aspects of…his nature.

But now, all of a sudden, I was finding…I was…maybe? Maybe slightly attracted to nonsense.

Just slightly, not a bit more.

WHAT?

As my sudden realization crashed down on me, it seemed as if my whole world was catastrophically falling apart.

Potter? James Potter? What the bloody hell? When had THIS happened?

He was…my enemy! My sworn nemesis. My tormentor, through all my years at Hogwarts, my stalker, the absolute bane of my existence. His incessant pestering had gotten me in many a sticky situation.

Sometimes literally sticky. I remember when he enchanted my chair so I couldn't get off of it until I gave him a kiss. I had cursed him and only performed the counter curse after he had lifted the charm. And of course, the idiot had grabbed me afterwards and tried to kiss me anyway.

So what was THIS? All those years of resistance, resentment, and scorn, thrown away all of a sudden because of my damn estrogen.

Hormones! Curse thee.

I heard muffled laughter next to me, and realized that I had hissed my thoughts out loud.

The blush increased, and Miranda's giggles echoed through my head for the rest of class.

I mean, it was hormones, right? I hadn't actually fallen for Potter.

I was hormonal.

That…that was all.

I'll try to update as soon as I can, which probably won't be soon at all. Sorry! Tell me what you think? Send in a review! Please, I'm beeggin you.

Hmm. I'm not going to correct that.

So long,

.x.