Ch. 37 Edward POV
"Jose Canseco came next. Her name was Irina and she had a thing for violence. One second we would be chill and the next she was charging me with my baseball bat. She swung at me a couple times and I had to dip, duck, and dive to dodge that shit. However, my TV didn't make it out alive. When the cops came, the bat was still sticking out of my flat screen TV. She was charged with assault with a deadly weapon as well as assaulting an officer and making lewd comments about his mother."
Yes, I know the crazy bitch needed to lay off the roids and shit.
She nods her head, not able to breath correctly from laughing and rolling her hand over for my continuation into this, 'Loves of Edward's Past' story.
"Last but not least, we have coo-coo for cocoa puffs. Her name was Kate and she reminded me of that character Drew Barrymore played in that movie Mad Love. You know when she glued all the magazine eyeballs to the walls. I found out later she had multiple personalities," shaking my head. "I don't know which one she used to reel me in but I never saw that one again. Alice was literally terrified of her. She flung holy water and burnt sage shit all over the house. My sister swore she was going to turn into the poltergeist and crab walk down the stairs. We got that one committed and she has been in a rubber room ever since."
She almost crashed Emmett's baby into a tree from laughing so hard.
She thought her shit was bad. But damn, I had the night stalker, Jose and Hannibal.
Bitches be crazy!
Ding, Ding, Ding we have a winner.
And it's me!